On Love

Hi Ragers and Ragettes!!!  I hope that you are having a great Tuesday!!  It’s cooler here today so I am rocking a black and white polka dot jumpsuit with my red killer stilettos, white cardi, the necklace that Suzanne gave me and my red lippy.  Fabulous!!!

It’s been a blah day so to cheer myself up, I did something naughty.  I have been short on funds recently and I was accepted to have a credit card.  My first purchase for my credit card when I activated it yesterday?  For Simon’s mum.  I taught her how to use eBay and she won a cute vintage dress (that I was totally envious of) and so as a gift (and to get more points with the family) I paid £15 for the new dress for her. 

So I was sitting here at my desk today and I happened to be surfing the net and I went onto one of my favourite boutique’s websites.  I still had a voucher in my purse for this boutique and I was looking through jumpsuits (I have been going through a jumpsuit phase recently) and I found this stunning, classy, vintage looking turquoise belted jumpsuit.  Usually I go for red but the gorgeous Suzanne said that I should try to wear turquoise as it compliments my dark hair and skin tone.   I had to have this jumpsuit.  It was dead reasonably priced so I took a deep breath and took my card out and paid for it.  I should receive it tomorrow.  So I am soooooooooooooooo excited for it to come tomorrow!!!

But I still feel a bit down.  You see, Ragers and Ragettes, the 2 people that I love (Besides my parents) are sad. 

Yesterday, Suzanne messaged me and she is having some family issues.  I don’t want to delve in with the details but it’s pretty bad.  And for someone so loving, kind, gentle and sweet to have to go through hell, well it breaks my heart.  I want to hug her and tell her that it is going to be ok.  But I am so far away.  It’s frustrating.  I feel like offering words of “it will be ok” or “I am here for you” is not enough.  I never know how to act when people are going through bad times.  I know when I am going through a bad time I tend to go into myself and write.  Hence this blog.  Then I sleep on it and usually I can get through.  I hate seeing the people I love, especially my bestest friend go through hell.

After work yesterday, Simon said, oh shit.  I looked up and said What’s up my love.

He said, it’s my mum. 

I looked up quizzically.

On Saturday it’s Simon’s dad’s birthday.  And as you know from my last posts, his parents have some issues with drink.  The issue was that his mum booked a table at a restaurant for 6pm on Saturday.  Simon put his head in his hands and said, they will be absolutely shit-faced then.  He had such a look of pain and worry in his eyes.  I wanted to make it go away.  I wanted to stop all the pain and heal him. 

He kept trying to get his mum to change the plans.  She then texted “Betty wanted to go to that restaurant”, implying that I demanded it!! 

Now, Ragers and Ragettes.  I didn’t demand anything.  I never have from Simon.   All I said was that it looked like a lovely restaurant and I would like to try it sometime.  Sigh.

Simon battled for a bit and we decided that the dinner was to take place earlier and when his parents start to get messy, we will leave.  I hate seeing my man like this.  It hurts. 

And yes, Ragers and Ragettes, I love him.  I love him deeply.  I love him so much that it physically hurts.  I thought I had been in love in the past but I haven’t  been.  It was something, maybe, but not this.   I love everything about Simon.  His cheeky smile.  The way his skin smells in the morning, how he touches my face looks into my eyes and tells me that I am beautiful.  His silly laugh, and the way he talks to animals.  He actually puts a goofy voice on.  He is perfect.  And I am deeply in love with him.  I don’t know why, Ragers and Ragettes, but as I type this, I am tearing up.  I think it is because I know that it is true.  This is just simple, uncomplicated love.  No baggage, no lies, deceit. 

Love is such a silly thing.  We can love different ways.  I love my parents, obviously, and I would never have any hurt or pain come to them.  I think that is the reason why I left home all those years ago.  I didn’t want to cause them anymore hurt or pain. 

I love Suzanne like you would love a sister.  My older sister and I are not close but I get that sisterly bond with Suzanne.  She is truly a kindred spirit and the love I feel for her is special.  It’s not a sexual love, it’s more like she is physically a part of me.

And with Simon....I once read that the definition of true love is to see an imperfect person perfectly.  Out of all the songs and poems and sayings, I feel that is the best description for me.  Yes, Simon is fabulous but he has his flaws.  Like when he sings (he calls it singing, I call it torturing a clown) and his dress sense (I’m working on it!!!) and, of course, his pet snake.  But I see past those things.  I have never had a man love me the way Simon loves me.  He’s so gentle, sweet, caring, the list goes on!!!  I will stop now because most of you have probably grabbed your sick bags.

I guess what I am trying to say is that love is a word that has so many connotations.  It’s one of the most over used words in the English language.  The biggest crime is to use it so openly that it loses its meaning.  That’s why I have always saved that term for the people that deserve it. 

So Ragers and Ragettes.  Grab that person you love, tell them, hold them tight and never let them go.  Tell them how special they are to you.  That’s what I will be doing shortly as Suzanne and Simon need some support now.

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, stay fabulous!!!

Lots of Love (and I do mean it!!)

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx