On the Bad Penny

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  It’s a cloudy but warm Tuesday here in St Helens!  So today I am rocking my strapless black and white polka dot jumpsuit, a white cardigan, a red flower in my hair, my red lips Lulu Guinness ring, my white flip flops, the beautiful necklace that Suzanne gave me and, of course, my red lippy.  I have done my hair and make up nicely so I am feeling better about myself today.  I am going to the gym tonight after work.  I want to see what it’s like to go in the evening.

Well, on Father’s Day, I was cleaning up my dressing room when a message came through on my phone...Hope all is good with you treacle.

My heart dropped.

In everyone’s life, there is always a bad penny that will turn up.  This bad penny usually fills you with dread, foreboding and some excitement.

I am a believer that deep down inside we all like a bit of drama.  A bit of something to make our lives seem less mundane and that is why we make some of the choices we make.

Well, my bad penny is a man named Daryl* (remember, Ragers and Ragettes all names are changed to protect the not so innocent!).  He hails from down in the south of England.

Now, 2 years ago Daryl and I met through Facebook on a football supporters website.  I had just lost some weight and I was starting to look good.  I mean really good.  My profile picture was mega hot!  So he started up with a cheeky line about how can someone so pretty know anything about football?

We started chatting more.  Then we started doing video chats.  He had the most beautiful smile ever.  It was a cheeky chappy grin and his thick London accent made him so sexually attractive. 

He suggested that we meet up. 

I booked a hotel halfway between where we both lived and I turned my phone off and disappeared for the weekend.

We met up, booked in and walked together for a drink.  My heart was racing the whole time.  We laughed, chatted, got tipsy and walked back to the hotel.  We got into the room, he grabbed me, pushed me up against the wall and kissed me.  And I mean this was a loaded kiss.  I felt his big hard dick against my thigh.  I needed him.

We tore each other’s clothes off and went at it like wild animals.  I even remember him growling.  It was categorically the best sex I have ever had....ever.

Then on Sunday, while I was laying in his arms after he made me explode, my head was on his chest and his fingers were running through my hair.

He looked at me and said I need to tell you something. 

I said, what Daryl

He said, I haven’t been honest with you.  I have a girlfriend and she is pregnant with my daughter.  I got up and said, what the fuck????

Ragers and Ragettes, I had no clue!!  This guy just completely rocked my world.  We opened up and told each other secrets that we never told anyone else and now he has taken the snow globe of my life and has given it a massive shake!!!

I started to put my clothes back on, he got up and tried to stop me, kissing my neck, touching my curves.  He was addictive I needed to have him again.  So I did.

We said goodbye and on the drive back I cried feeling totally ashamed.  I met a random guy off the internet, checked into a hotel.  Had rampant sex and found out that he was with someone who was pregnant...God, I have truly sunk low.

I got home, washed my face and put a fake smile on for my flatmate and said that I had a great weekend.

I tried to get him out of my head but I couldn’t.  I needed him again.  My body ached for him.  So I ignored him the best I could.

He then started sending me desperate messages.  Telling me that he was getting into fights with gypsies and that there was a major vendetta.  But strangely he didn’t have bruises...He was spinning me lies.

So I blocked him.  I just didn’t want to feel the things I was feeling and getting hurt again.

A few months later I decided to unblock him for some reason. 

I was riding high on my feelings.  It was coming up to my birthday and I was looking good.  My body was shrinking, my skin looked amazing and things were working out for me.

And like a bad penny, he turned up again.  And he wanted to meet up again.  God, he was taking my feelings and dragging them over the coals.  I felt physically sick.  His girlfriend was about to give birth to his baby.  And I didn’t feel a shred of guilt.  I just needed my fix.

So we met up in a hotel in Liverpool.  We got into the hotel and tore each other’s clothes off.  We did things to each other that no one has ever done to each other.  I drove back to Manchester with bite marks on my body, sore swollen nipples, sore limbs but a massive smile on my face....and then the feelings of guilt came.  I can’t keep doing this.

So I blocked him again.  This wasn’t right.

He tried to make other Facebook accounts to contact me but I ignored it.

So I was doing some cleaning out and I unblocked him.  I am with Simon now and I haven’t even thought of another man  (and I have been watching Jason Statham films!!!).

So on Sunday when that message popped up, my heart dropped.  But I took a deep breath and made small talk with him.

I told him that I have a great new life, a great new man, a great new job and everything that I have ever wanted.

He sheepishly said ok.  I felt good that I didn’t get drawn into that smile, those eyes and the memories...

So walked over to Simon, gave him the biggest hug and kiss and told him that I loved him.  He smiled and said he loved me.

So I did it.  My bad penny didn’t put me off.  He knows now that I won’t even think about it and I didn’t create any drama. 

Because as much as I like a bit of excitement in my life, I don’t have the time, the energy or the need for it.  I just want to live with my handsome prince in my lovely castle and live happily ever after.

So until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, stay fabulous!

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxx