Hey Ragers and Ragettes! It’s a cold but sunny day here in St Helens. I’m sick of this weather. I want spring to come back. My fashion choices recently can be described, as per the fabulous Suzanne, as “Eskimo Chic”. Today I am wearing a beige and black striped sweater dress, black fleece-lined leggings and my 5 inch stiletto black ankle boots. I’m having a great lippy day today. My red lippy is spot on, if I say so myself!
Well this month has been very busy and expensive. I had my MOT on my little car and had to dish out £200 for repairs. Plus my car insurance is up at the end of the month. Awesome! Bye bye disposable income!! The problem is that my make up wish list is growing bigger by the day! I discovered a new brand that I am keen to try plus a new eyebrow product that looks amazing! Too many fabulous products, too little money!!!
This past weekend Simon and I went away to Wales in a cute little cottage for a little break...but there was a big but....the big but was the fact that this little break was with his parents for Simon’s mum’s birthday.
We left at noon on Thursday, drove all the way to Wales and when we arrived at 4pm and when we arrived, his mum was steaming drunk and I mean properly slaughtered!! When did she start drinking? Seriously.
So we got ourselves settled in the little cottage and when I returned to the front room, a large glass of red wine was waiting for me. His mum slurred, sit here Betty. Oh God. It was going to be a long weekend.
So this is what happened on Thursday night in a nutshell. Simon’s mum groped my boobs, discussed how I need to have a grandchild – but she wasn’t pushing me, she really wasn’t, but I need to have a baby. Is there something wrong with my ovaries (more on that later) and then I Facetimed Mama and Daddy Rage to let them know that I arrived ok. Simon’s mum then grabbed my iPad out of my hands and started flirting with my Dad....seriously. I was shocked. How dare she????
We ate dinner and I went to bed with Simon. We watched TV in our single beds , separated by a big chest of drawers and I had to sleep on the world’s most uncomfortable pillows. Ace. This was a huge mistake.
The next day we went to a charming village and walked around and then went to a cute little village pub and had a big lunch. And the drink continued to flow. Simon’s mum got lit up quickly.
Back to the cottage where she poured me another large glass of red and she finished another wine box (which holds 4 liters of wine...Simon’s parents got there on the Tuesday and she finished her second wine box) and put some munchies on a plate (crisps and such)
She then proceeded to tell me that she wanted a grandchild. No “I’m not pushing you” this time she was demanding it. Boobs honked again, kissed all over my face and another discussion about my ovaries. Rock on.
The Saturday I woke up early to empty wine glasses, and they must have cracked open the vodka after I went to bed as I could smell it. I proceeded to clean up the mess.
I was starving so I opened the fridge and cabinets....no food. Just alcohol and crisps. My tummy was rumbling and I felt bloated. Stodgy food plus alcohol isn’t a fun combination. I desperately opened cupboards even for some bread so I can toast....nothing...
As I am weight lifting, I have to eat. I eat 5 times a day. If I don’t eat, I get woozy. I need to eat!!! I was panicking and starting to get angry. I put the kettle on hoping the coffee will dull the hunger.
His parents woke up and drank some tea and decided that we were going to walk to a pub on the beach. I wrapped up and put my sparkly winter hat on (Simon’s mum demanded to know why I didn’t buy her one...uh it was from the pound shop and it was the last one?) and we started walking on the beach. I then heard the sound of bleating.
We looked over to the left and on the hill there were 4 lambs trapped up there in the mud. Simon bravely went up and saved them. I have to admit I fell in love a little more with him as he rescued each little lamb.
We got to the pub, I ordered a sandwich, his mum ordered me more wine and I had to prop his mum up and help her home.
That night I made sure that Simon and I got to be early as we had to wake up at 2am because we had to drive to the shopping channel near London for 7am to film a live show for work. Excellent.
Needless to say, it was eventful and I was exhausted when I got back home. But I was lucky. My beauty therapist was looking after the guinea piggies and she kindly cleaned my whole apartment, bought us dinner and made sure the piggies were taken care of. So all I had to do was 5 loads of laundry.
This weekend will be eventful but in a different way.
Recently, I have been having a few worrying symptoms. Basically the doctors have concluded it’s either an underactive thyroid or Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. I had a blood test and it has come back normal...I am going to go to the doctor and ask more questions because last time they did a blood test and it came back “normal” my thyroid was actually underactive on that test.
This Saturday (I know, strange) I am having an ovarian scan. This is going to be a bit invasive. It’s a camera that they are going to put up my foo foo to see what state my ovaries are in and if I do indeed have poly cystic ovarian syndrome. (Thank God I had a bikini wax!)
Mama Rage and Sister Rage both had polycystic ovarian syndrome. The result for them? Both have had hysterectomies, my sister’s happened when she was 35. I am not going to worry about anything until I have something to worry about. It is in the back of my mind though.
That is what Simon’s mum was going on about. She is demanding a grandchild. I’m demanding that she needs to go into rehab but that won’t happen. I don’t want to have a baby for the sake of it. I believe a baby should be made out of love in a stable environment, financially and relationshipwise. Both for me are not stable. Hell I could barely afford to tank my car up with petrol this morning and I don't know how I am going to purchase the food shopping this weekend! I am old fashioned in that if I were to have a baby, I want to be married. And if I did, I wouldn’t leave my child alone in the presence of an alcoholic like her.
So there you go. A lot has happened and a lot to think about. I know that no matter what happens, I will be ok. And when I have the scan on Saturday, I will be wearing my heels!
So until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!
Lots of Love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxxx