Thursday, 21 January 2016

On Starting Over Again?

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!  It’s a rainy and gross today.  Seriously.  I have had it with this shitty weather!!!  Today I am rocking my turquoise jumper, white vest, bell bottoms and my lucky retro blue Adidas trainers.  They are my favourite pair of “casual” shoes. 

Well, this Saturday I am getting my nails done (thank heavens!!!).  I feel naked without my nails on.   I get acrylic sculptured nails.  I have been experimenting with shapes and designs.  This time around,  I want a shape in between Square and Ballerina.  Here is what I am looking at:

I am excited!!!  I love it!!

There  is something that I love about the “New Year”.  The New Year makes me think about clean starts.  When I delivered my ultimatum to Simon, half of me just wanted to end it, start looking for a new job and a new place and move on.

I am certainly employable.  The world could be my oyster!!  If I were to leave Simon, I would probably try to get a job in either Liverpool or Manchester.  Then I would have to get a cute flat near my new employment.  Furnish it and such.  Hence why I am giving him 6 months.  That gives me time to get my shit together.  It also gives me time to if things are going pear shaped to detach myself emotionally from him. 

I admit I kind of miss being single.  Having the bed to myself, no snoring boyfriend, no cleaning up after a messy person.  Being able to watch what I want on TV and most importantly, I could find someone that isn’t like a 5 year old.

But I do love Simon.  I love how he looks when he laughs.  Or the way he holds me in bed when we are settling in to sleep.  Or how he goes all silly when he sees a puppy. 

I just don’t know what to do.  All I know is that things cannot go on the way that they are.  

Work is boring me senseless.  I see other jobs out there that are paying more and that I will actually be able to do what I should be doing.  I would get bonuses, holiday allowance and promotions. 

And the relationship?  I feel like it is a business transaction.  But ever since I put that email to Simon he has improved a lot.  Was a part of me hoping that he wouldn’t?   Is it the 2 year itch?  This is the most stable that I have ever been.

We have booked to go to Wales in February with his parents (this should be interesting) so that is a big start.  Before I read him the riot act he would have NEVER even considered a weekend in Wales with his parents.  But I sense that is going to be more stressful…

I don’t know Ragers and Ragettes.  It’s a strange one.  I just hope that the right solution presents itself and that I choose what is best for me in the long run.

So until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards up highadn your heels even higher!!

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxx

Monday, 18 January 2016

On 2016 – New Beginnings and An Ultimatum

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!  It’s a very bitterly nasty ass cold day here!!  There is frost and ice on the ground.  I am freezing!!!  But at least I look fab!!  I am rocking my ​bell bottom  jeans

​ (My all time favorite style)​​my lips print top, black ​cardigan​my retro blue suede Adidas running shoes​  and my red lippy.  I am wearing my fur-lined cape which is so comfy and warm and gives me a “rich lady” look.  I just need a big fluffy Russian style hat and I am set!!!

Well, Happy New Year to everyone!  2015 was interesting.  I learned a lot and I am really to go forward in 2016 in confidence and start making changes. 

I have started by changing my fitness goals, eating and training style.  I am eating more because  I am hoping to start competing on the Power Lifting Circuit.  I am quite strong.  My Deadlifts, Squats and my bench press.  I have a good chance at placing and doing well, I just need to lose 65 pounds to get into the weight class that I want to get into.  Ouch.

This year, also, I am growing my hair out as I am going to try the world of Micro Ring Hair Extensions.  I had a consultation with the woman who is going to be putting my extensions in.  I have to grow my hair out more so we both figured by May I will be at a length where the extensions will blend.  In April I need to have a color consultation so she can match my hair to the extensions.  She suggested going back to my natural hair color or a few shades darker or lighter.  I wanted raven hair but she put me off that.  She told me that her clients that have black hair extensions all have the same complaint.  The black dye tends to strip the paint off the metal bond that holds the extension in place.  So if black hair dye is stripping the paint off metal, what is it doing to your actual hair?  I’m thinking a medium brown with a red tint with caramel highlights going through.  I am going to be booking in with my colorist soon to come up with some ideas.

But the biggest thing is the ultimatum.

Simon and I have been a bit strained recently.  At work we have been fighting like cats and dogs.  Like properly ripping lumps out of each other.  Then we’d go home and I would pretty much spend ​m​y weekend cooking, laundry and cleaning while Simon sits on his ass playing Grand Theft Auto or watching movies and very often sleeping. 

 I had enough.  I just snapped.  So I came into work and I calmly wrote him an email telling him how I felt.  I told him that he needs to start helping in the flat and that I want to start going out on dates and try to remember why we got together in the first place.  It's been almost 2 years since I left the single life in Manchester to start over again.

This isn't the relationship I had imagined when I started on the dating website scene.  ​I imagined finding someone and going out to the cinema, holidays and romantic dinners.  Not working 24/7, not taking care of myself and being treated like a cleaning lady.  (I Betty Rage am NOT a cleaning lady!!  Not with these nails anyway!!!)

I have given him until June to sort it.  Why June you say?  Well, if I am going to leave him, I need to start saving some money and get me set up so if I do leave I am prepared.  Every woman needs an escape fund, I think.  A plan B to make sure that if a nasty surprise happens, you can cope.  If Simon and I don't break up well, it's extra money towards a new car (I would like my Mercedes SLK 250 in cherry red...) or a home.

​I have also started making provisions in regards to if I were to leave.  I am getting someone to look over my CV and to make it look professional and fab.  I am focusing on my workouts and my mental health.  I have stopped putting him and his needs first.  It's liberating!!!​

This past weekend, Simon did heed my warning and helped me around the house but he better not take his foot off the accelerator or I am gone.

Yes, 2016 looks set to be one hell of a year.  I am excited, scared but ready to strut into the life I have always wanted!!

Until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxx