Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!
Well it's been quite an interesting few weeks for me. And the movement continues.
Today I received a call about the job interview that I had in Liverpool. I got the job. It's more money but I don't think I am going to take it.
The benefit package isn't as good as where I am now. I get more vacation days in my current job, plus we get a bonus if we hit our sales target (more often than not we do!) and I received a huge bonus at Christmas.
At the job in Liverpool I only get a standard package. No incentive bonuses.
Plus I like the area where I live. I think that I considered it because I want to so desperately move out from where I am now.
So I had a think and as both of my managers are in Austria skiing, I called up the silent partner who sits in on the weekly board meetings and told him that I was offered another job. He sounded a bit shocked and standoffish but he called my 2 managers and he called me straight back saying that they want me to stay on and on Monday when they return they want to have a meeting with me.
And I think I am going to use this opportunity to get a better wage.
I also decided to grow a set of balls and I told my housemate that I am moving out in April when there is a break in the contract.
She got upset, called me selfish and walked out and slammed the door. I didn't feel guilty like I normally would, this is how I know that this is right.
She has since texted me saying that she feels a bit sad and let down but so far she has been nice. I have 8 weeks to find a new place to live. I have 3 areas that I am looking for places in: Manchester City Center, the area around work and I found this awesome converted mill building that looks so cool!!!
I can now finally take my guinea pigs with me. I can change my address on my driving licence. I can finally move on.
I know that the first few months might be a bit of a struggle but I know it's worth it. My own space. I cannot wait!!!
So there is movement now. Positive movement. The next 8 weeks might be a bit strange with my housemate. She is 6 weeks sober almost and I am hoping that this won't tip her over the edge but I have to move on.
I am excited for the future and right now I actually feel......happy. I feel so happy!!!
So onwards and upwards indeed!!!
Until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!!
Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxx
Tuesday 19 February 2019
Friday 15 February 2019
On Eating my Words and Decisions, Decisions.....
Hey Ragers and Ragettes!! Happy Friday night!!! I am spending it in my favorite velvet pink jammies watching a Danish show. My housemate and the guy she is seeing (she just needs to admit it, he is her boyfriend. They go well together and he looks at her with adoring eyes...) are away for the weekend at a spa hotel. So I have the house to myself, I've poured a glass of red wine and I have to say life is good!!
Well I had the second interview last night. It went very, very, very, very well. The guy who interviewed me would be my manager if they offered me the job. We got on like a house on fire!! We have a similar twisted sense of humor. We swore, laughed and joked with each other. At the end he said, Betty it's a yes from me. I just need to get this signed off by management.
Then I went to St Helens to my house to get my mail. When I pulled up to our house, her car was there. His van pulled up behind me. There she was. Simon distracted me as she ran inside the house and shut the door of the living room. My mail (my car insurance documents) were in the hallway. I took them and put them in my bag and went up the stairs to see my guinea pigs. Simon followed me upstairs. We chatted a bit (we are getting on very well as friends). I cuddled my piggies and I heard a child's voice, Where is the lady with the pretty lips?
I was wearing my favorite berry colored lipstick (Kat Von D, you do make a great liquid lip!!). The voice shocked me a bit.
I took a deep breath and said, I better introduce myself.
I walked downstairs, Simon following me. I opened the door and there she was. His new woman. She was short. About 5 foot 5. Petite. Horrendous teeth and even worse eyebrows. But when I entered the room, the little girl, Luna* (name changed to protect the innocent) smiled. She is about 2-3 I think? She saw me and her eyes lit up. I was wearing a black blazer, a white vest, skinny jeans and my leopard print stiletto ankle boots. Luna's eyes lit up. She smiled and ran into the kitchen. My kitchen. She started opening cupboards and showing me what was in each cupboard. The cupboard with the tupperware (yes I had a tupperware addiction and I still do.....), then she showed me the cupboard that had pots and pans.
She giggled and smiled. I've always been awkward around kids. I terminated a pregnancy and my ex boyfriend beat me so badly that I miscarried. Children have always been a sticking point for me. But here was this little ball of energy. This beautiful blonde cherub smiling and enjoying the small things. I smiled and I took the bright green colander out of the cupboard and put it on her head. She squealed with joy and ran to show her mum. Mummy look at my hat!, she squealed. I stifled a giggle and Simon grinned.
His new girlfriend and I exchanged pleasantries while little Luna was showing me everything in the house. The cat, the cat's toys, to contents of the cupboards.
She kept pointing at my lips and her lips. I guess the child has great taste in lipstick!
It was time for me to go home. I walked outside to my car and Simon's new girlfriend followed me holding Luna.
Luna said where is the lady with the pretty lips? Simon's new girlfriend put her down and little Luna ran up to me with her arms outstretched to me. I looked down at her, her blue eyes shining. Such innocence. I picked her up instinctively. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I held her close. I put my hand on the back of her head and held her like she was the most precious thing in the world. A tear slid down my cheek. I had a hard week. I just met my ex's new girlfriend. I saw all her stuff in my house. I should have been angry. I should have hated everything. But here I was holding his little girl. She hugging me as if I was an auntie or family. When I held her...I felt ok. I felt like everything was going to be ok. I pulled away and looked at her. She smiled and touched my mouth. Pretty she said, I tried not to cry. I said to her and be good. I put her down and she ran back to her mum.
I opened my car door and Simon approached me. He hugged and told me to message him when I got back.
I drove away, tears running down my face. What the fuck just happened?
I had an interview for a potential new job. A job in Liverpool. A job 10 years ago I would have taken without thinking. I met my ex's new girl and saw the life that he was building. What the actual fuck?
I got back to the house and my housemate started to question me about the job. She is concerned about me moving out as she cannot afford this house by herself.
I smiled, answered the questions and she told me she supports whatever I decide.
Today I felt strange. I put my phone on do not disturb. It's like I didn't want to take the call. It's like facing this is hard. Part of me wants this job and the other half doesn't
I love my current job. It's just the money and lack of leadership that I can't cope with.
I tried to sleep last night but I couldn't. So I started googling the job. I found that it had a poor rating on Glassdoor. (Best Website to check out ratings for prospective jobs....thank me later!) I spoke to the recruitment agent. She said that the guy that I interviewed with liked me very much.
I expressed my concerns about the rating. She tried to pacify me. I still don't know how I feel.
Simon told me that Little Luna wants purple nails. She wants the Lady with Pretty lips to paint her nails purple. I feel quite...happy about that. Little Luna and I will get along ok I think.
I went through the whole day wondering what the fuck will happen. No phone call
I left work and got home. I put my first load of laundry in. I ran back upstairs and saw I had a missed call. My heart skipped a beat. I listened to the message and I called the agent back. No news. I have to admit I felt relieved a bit. She said that the man that interviewed me really liked me. She expressed my concerns to him and he felt really bad that he didn't articulate himself to me properly. They don't want to lose me. But still no concrete offer.
Ok, my head is frazzled. I don't know what to do at all. I'm literally 50/50 about this. The adventurer in me says go for it!!! Move, it's a way out from where you are!!! You will go to Liverpool which was the dream 10 years ago.
But dreams change? Goals change? I love the product I work with. I love the fact that I work in the beauty industry. I love the people I work with....well mostly.
I have a lot to think about. All I know is that I want my freedom. My own home and a payrise. I want o move on properly and give myself to someone and love someone. I hate feeling like I'm guilty for leaving Simon. He is clearly happy. Yes, she has shit eyebrows and even worse teeth. But to be innocent and excited like little Luna...oh Little Luna...thank you for giving me the hug I needed. Thank you for your excitement and joy at wearing a colander on your head. Thank you for being cute and funny and for that hug. That hug made a lot of things better.
This weekend I have a lot of thinking to do. A lot things to consider. But I now that it will all be ok.
So until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher
Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxx
Well I had the second interview last night. It went very, very, very, very well. The guy who interviewed me would be my manager if they offered me the job. We got on like a house on fire!! We have a similar twisted sense of humor. We swore, laughed and joked with each other. At the end he said, Betty it's a yes from me. I just need to get this signed off by management.
Then I went to St Helens to my house to get my mail. When I pulled up to our house, her car was there. His van pulled up behind me. There she was. Simon distracted me as she ran inside the house and shut the door of the living room. My mail (my car insurance documents) were in the hallway. I took them and put them in my bag and went up the stairs to see my guinea pigs. Simon followed me upstairs. We chatted a bit (we are getting on very well as friends). I cuddled my piggies and I heard a child's voice, Where is the lady with the pretty lips?
I was wearing my favorite berry colored lipstick (Kat Von D, you do make a great liquid lip!!). The voice shocked me a bit.
I took a deep breath and said, I better introduce myself.
I walked downstairs, Simon following me. I opened the door and there she was. His new woman. She was short. About 5 foot 5. Petite. Horrendous teeth and even worse eyebrows. But when I entered the room, the little girl, Luna* (name changed to protect the innocent) smiled. She is about 2-3 I think? She saw me and her eyes lit up. I was wearing a black blazer, a white vest, skinny jeans and my leopard print stiletto ankle boots. Luna's eyes lit up. She smiled and ran into the kitchen. My kitchen. She started opening cupboards and showing me what was in each cupboard. The cupboard with the tupperware (yes I had a tupperware addiction and I still do.....), then she showed me the cupboard that had pots and pans.
She giggled and smiled. I've always been awkward around kids. I terminated a pregnancy and my ex boyfriend beat me so badly that I miscarried. Children have always been a sticking point for me. But here was this little ball of energy. This beautiful blonde cherub smiling and enjoying the small things. I smiled and I took the bright green colander out of the cupboard and put it on her head. She squealed with joy and ran to show her mum. Mummy look at my hat!, she squealed. I stifled a giggle and Simon grinned.
His new girlfriend and I exchanged pleasantries while little Luna was showing me everything in the house. The cat, the cat's toys, to contents of the cupboards.
She kept pointing at my lips and her lips. I guess the child has great taste in lipstick!
It was time for me to go home. I walked outside to my car and Simon's new girlfriend followed me holding Luna.
Luna said where is the lady with the pretty lips? Simon's new girlfriend put her down and little Luna ran up to me with her arms outstretched to me. I looked down at her, her blue eyes shining. Such innocence. I picked her up instinctively. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I held her close. I put my hand on the back of her head and held her like she was the most precious thing in the world. A tear slid down my cheek. I had a hard week. I just met my ex's new girlfriend. I saw all her stuff in my house. I should have been angry. I should have hated everything. But here I was holding his little girl. She hugging me as if I was an auntie or family. When I held her...I felt ok. I felt like everything was going to be ok. I pulled away and looked at her. She smiled and touched my mouth. Pretty she said, I tried not to cry. I said to her and be good. I put her down and she ran back to her mum.
I opened my car door and Simon approached me. He hugged and told me to message him when I got back.
I drove away, tears running down my face. What the fuck just happened?
I had an interview for a potential new job. A job in Liverpool. A job 10 years ago I would have taken without thinking. I met my ex's new girl and saw the life that he was building. What the actual fuck?
I got back to the house and my housemate started to question me about the job. She is concerned about me moving out as she cannot afford this house by herself.
I smiled, answered the questions and she told me she supports whatever I decide.
Today I felt strange. I put my phone on do not disturb. It's like I didn't want to take the call. It's like facing this is hard. Part of me wants this job and the other half doesn't
I love my current job. It's just the money and lack of leadership that I can't cope with.
I tried to sleep last night but I couldn't. So I started googling the job. I found that it had a poor rating on Glassdoor. (Best Website to check out ratings for prospective jobs....thank me later!) I spoke to the recruitment agent. She said that the guy that I interviewed with liked me very much.
I expressed my concerns about the rating. She tried to pacify me. I still don't know how I feel.
Simon told me that Little Luna wants purple nails. She wants the Lady with Pretty lips to paint her nails purple. I feel quite...happy about that. Little Luna and I will get along ok I think.
I went through the whole day wondering what the fuck will happen. No phone call
I left work and got home. I put my first load of laundry in. I ran back upstairs and saw I had a missed call. My heart skipped a beat. I listened to the message and I called the agent back. No news. I have to admit I felt relieved a bit. She said that the man that interviewed me really liked me. She expressed my concerns to him and he felt really bad that he didn't articulate himself to me properly. They don't want to lose me. But still no concrete offer.
Ok, my head is frazzled. I don't know what to do at all. I'm literally 50/50 about this. The adventurer in me says go for it!!! Move, it's a way out from where you are!!! You will go to Liverpool which was the dream 10 years ago.
But dreams change? Goals change? I love the product I work with. I love the fact that I work in the beauty industry. I love the people I work with....well mostly.
I have a lot to think about. All I know is that I want my freedom. My own home and a payrise. I want o move on properly and give myself to someone and love someone. I hate feeling like I'm guilty for leaving Simon. He is clearly happy. Yes, she has shit eyebrows and even worse teeth. But to be innocent and excited like little Luna...oh Little Luna...thank you for giving me the hug I needed. Thank you for your excitement and joy at wearing a colander on your head. Thank you for being cute and funny and for that hug. That hug made a lot of things better.
This weekend I have a lot of thinking to do. A lot things to consider. But I now that it will all be ok.
So until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher
Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxx
Wednesday 13 February 2019
On Yet Another Transition Period.....
Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!
Well it certainly has been awhile since I have written, apologies. Life has been chaotic but positive.
There are good problems in life and bad problems in life. Recently my problems have been....well....good.
Mr Wonderful and I have still been seeing each other, kind of. When I landed at the airport in December after Christmas, he was there waiting for me in arrivals with open arms. He is romantic.
He bought me designer handbags, some beautiful silver earrings and a silver bangle. I bought him aftershave so I felt like a bit of a dick.
We stayed in our favorite hotel and we decided to have a romantic bath together. He bought a bottle of champagne (not the cheap stuff!!) and he poured it. I sat my glass next to the bed on the bedside cabinet. We were getting hot and heavy as the bath was filling, I went to take my jeans off, my leg shot up and knocked the champagne glass over, champagne spilled on the lamp which blew the fuse in our room!!! That was very embarrassing and very graceful indeed!!
When the clock hit midnight on New Years, we kissed passionately and deeply. I was wearing a bodycon strapless dress with a fishtail and stilettos. He kept telling me how stunning I was. He told me that I was the most beautiful woman that night.
Designer handbags, 5 star hotels, compliments and ok sex. I should be happy, shouldn't I? I don't know how I feel.
I went to visit him in Geneva in January for his birthday. He insisting on paying for everything.....even on his birthday!!! He's a total gentleman. I have never been with a man like him before. I don't know if it is the distance or the age gap or Simon...
Yes you read that right.
Before Christmas I found out that Simon has moved on. He's seeing this woman that works next door to him. She's got bad teeth and shit eyebrows. And she has a little girl.
I think the thing that bothers me is that Simon always said to me that he didn't want kids. He said how much he hated them. If there were screaming kids in restaurants or airplanes he'd always make rude comments about them. He used to joke about having sex with a woman that had a child isn't pleasurable. Now he's dating a woman....with a fucking kid??????? Seriously????? Seriously????? Now the house that we bought together is filled with baby stuff.
The thing is that he wants me and his new girlfriend to meet and be friends. No, Simon. That is not going to happen. If I meet her, I will be pleasant and polite but I will not befriend her. Am I being unreasonable?
To be honest, I just want to cut ties and leave.
This brings me to the next issue.
Luckily when we moved in, we scheduled in a break in the lease after 6 months (April) and I feel that I am now ready for my own place.
There is a slight issue. The issue is my housemate.
She has decided to clean her life up and I can proudly say that she is 32 days sober! She is seeing a counselor every Wednesday to help with her sobriety and she has started attending AA meetings. She's calmed down a lot, I mean a lot, but she has been passing comments like, I couldn't have done this without you and you are like my mum. She has clung to me. I am scared that if I say that I am leaving she will revert back to drinking and get violent. I need to tell her but there could be a get out clause.
This brings me to my next dilemma.
Work has been ok. After the issue before Christmas, I had my performance review and well, it was very, very positive. I received a slight pay increase.
I then received a call about a job in Liverpool for a very big company. The position is beneath what I am doing now but MORE money. How is that possible? Like seriously??
I had the first interview which went well. Tomorrow I have the second interview. All I have to do is impress this one person to see if I fit into the team. This position would see me travel to France monthly.
So my dilemma. Do I take the new job, use it as my get out of jail free card with my housemate and start a fresh new life in a new city? That's the easier option.
Or do I negotiate a higher wage with my current job and move out to my own place, possibly getting my housemate riled up?
This is what I know:
1. I need my own place. I cannot cope with sharing anymore
2. By getting my own place, I can move the rest of my stuff out from Simon's, take my guinea pigs and effectively get Simon out of my life for good. This way I can properly move on with my life and I feel that this fact is holding me back massively.
3. I like my current job. I like the area that my current job is in. I just think that I am being underpaid. There are aspects of my job that I don't like, but to be honest, I do enjoy my current job
4. Maybe my time in Manchester is up. When I first moved to the Northwest of England, I used to dream of moving to Liverpool and working in Liverpool. It's funny how wishes come true. Maybe I am getting what my heart desired after a long time?
5. Mr Wonderful and I...is there a future? The distance sucks. He's 15 years older than me. It's a contradiction. I like my independence. I like the fact that we are apart sometimes. But I also like the thought of being somebody's girl.
The next few weeks are going to be difficult. But there is an exciting road ahead.
This time last year, I was in a cold house with a man that molested me. I'm now in a place where I can move out and change things for my benefit. I might struggle for a month or 2 but that struggle, to be honest is going to be better than where I am now.
The key is to continue to look forward and not back. These are good problems to have. I know that I will make the right choices. I have good people around me: Suzanne and Mr Wonderful have been so supportive.
So there you have it!!
Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher.
Lots of Love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxx
Well it certainly has been awhile since I have written, apologies. Life has been chaotic but positive.
There are good problems in life and bad problems in life. Recently my problems have been....well....good.
Mr Wonderful and I have still been seeing each other, kind of. When I landed at the airport in December after Christmas, he was there waiting for me in arrivals with open arms. He is romantic.
He bought me designer handbags, some beautiful silver earrings and a silver bangle. I bought him aftershave so I felt like a bit of a dick.
We stayed in our favorite hotel and we decided to have a romantic bath together. He bought a bottle of champagne (not the cheap stuff!!) and he poured it. I sat my glass next to the bed on the bedside cabinet. We were getting hot and heavy as the bath was filling, I went to take my jeans off, my leg shot up and knocked the champagne glass over, champagne spilled on the lamp which blew the fuse in our room!!! That was very embarrassing and very graceful indeed!!
When the clock hit midnight on New Years, we kissed passionately and deeply. I was wearing a bodycon strapless dress with a fishtail and stilettos. He kept telling me how stunning I was. He told me that I was the most beautiful woman that night.
Designer handbags, 5 star hotels, compliments and ok sex. I should be happy, shouldn't I? I don't know how I feel.
I went to visit him in Geneva in January for his birthday. He insisting on paying for everything.....even on his birthday!!! He's a total gentleman. I have never been with a man like him before. I don't know if it is the distance or the age gap or Simon...
Yes you read that right.
Before Christmas I found out that Simon has moved on. He's seeing this woman that works next door to him. She's got bad teeth and shit eyebrows. And she has a little girl.
I think the thing that bothers me is that Simon always said to me that he didn't want kids. He said how much he hated them. If there were screaming kids in restaurants or airplanes he'd always make rude comments about them. He used to joke about having sex with a woman that had a child isn't pleasurable. Now he's dating a woman....with a fucking kid??????? Seriously????? Seriously????? Now the house that we bought together is filled with baby stuff.
The thing is that he wants me and his new girlfriend to meet and be friends. No, Simon. That is not going to happen. If I meet her, I will be pleasant and polite but I will not befriend her. Am I being unreasonable?
To be honest, I just want to cut ties and leave.
This brings me to the next issue.
Luckily when we moved in, we scheduled in a break in the lease after 6 months (April) and I feel that I am now ready for my own place.
There is a slight issue. The issue is my housemate.
She has decided to clean her life up and I can proudly say that she is 32 days sober! She is seeing a counselor every Wednesday to help with her sobriety and she has started attending AA meetings. She's calmed down a lot, I mean a lot, but she has been passing comments like, I couldn't have done this without you and you are like my mum. She has clung to me. I am scared that if I say that I am leaving she will revert back to drinking and get violent. I need to tell her but there could be a get out clause.
This brings me to my next dilemma.
Work has been ok. After the issue before Christmas, I had my performance review and well, it was very, very positive. I received a slight pay increase.
I then received a call about a job in Liverpool for a very big company. The position is beneath what I am doing now but MORE money. How is that possible? Like seriously??
I had the first interview which went well. Tomorrow I have the second interview. All I have to do is impress this one person to see if I fit into the team. This position would see me travel to France monthly.
So my dilemma. Do I take the new job, use it as my get out of jail free card with my housemate and start a fresh new life in a new city? That's the easier option.
Or do I negotiate a higher wage with my current job and move out to my own place, possibly getting my housemate riled up?
This is what I know:
1. I need my own place. I cannot cope with sharing anymore
2. By getting my own place, I can move the rest of my stuff out from Simon's, take my guinea pigs and effectively get Simon out of my life for good. This way I can properly move on with my life and I feel that this fact is holding me back massively.
3. I like my current job. I like the area that my current job is in. I just think that I am being underpaid. There are aspects of my job that I don't like, but to be honest, I do enjoy my current job
4. Maybe my time in Manchester is up. When I first moved to the Northwest of England, I used to dream of moving to Liverpool and working in Liverpool. It's funny how wishes come true. Maybe I am getting what my heart desired after a long time?
5. Mr Wonderful and I...is there a future? The distance sucks. He's 15 years older than me. It's a contradiction. I like my independence. I like the fact that we are apart sometimes. But I also like the thought of being somebody's girl.
The next few weeks are going to be difficult. But there is an exciting road ahead.
This time last year, I was in a cold house with a man that molested me. I'm now in a place where I can move out and change things for my benefit. I might struggle for a month or 2 but that struggle, to be honest is going to be better than where I am now.
The key is to continue to look forward and not back. These are good problems to have. I know that I will make the right choices. I have good people around me: Suzanne and Mr Wonderful have been so supportive.
So there you have it!!
Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher.
Lots of Love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxx
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