Monday, 26 October 2015

On The Royal Visit

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!  It’s been awhile, I know.  It’s been busy but that is ok with me.  Autumn has made an appearance finally so today I am wearing my favourite turquoise jumper, my bootcut jeans, and my cowboy boots.  Under the said cowboy boots?  The woolliest socks that I can find. 

Well, one of my biggest fears has presented itself to me.   Mama and Papa Rage….are coming to visit!!! 

Yes, there is nothing that strikes fear into my heart more than the impending visit from my parents.

Why, you may ask?

Well, it’s like this.  My parents are coming over to visit me and also they want to visit my Nana who lives in Ireland.  My Nana is turning 100 on the 3rd of November and my father (my Nana is my father’s mother) obviously wants to wish the old dear a happy birthday. 

That is all fine and dandy but there are a few issues.  Namely the attitude of my family towards me.

I am regarded, because of my past issues with my mental health, to be the black sheep of the family.  So my dad’s side of the family scrutinize, criticize and basically laugh at me.  My cousin came over a few weeks ago and stated that my padrano (that’s Godfather to you…the Godfather in my family is a very important person.   The Godfather is someone to look up to and they in turn care for you if anything were to happen to my parents) thinks I’m “scary” because of my hair, piercings and tattoos.  All righty then!

It doesn’t stop there.  My uncle (who used to be my favourite uncle) likes to pick on me and my lifestyle.  He used to be cool but then he got married and now has become a bitter dickhead.  He picks on my lifestyle, my weight, my colourful past.  The thing that hurts is that him and I used to be tight.  I remember when I was younger visiting him when he lived in Aldershot.  We would go on the roof of his apartment through the sky light and drink vodka discussing our hopes and fears.  He confided in me and listened to me.  I did the same for him.  I wiped his tears away when his engagement got broken off to ex-fiance.  When he moved to Ireland to take care of my grandparents, I came down to take him out for a beer to cheer him up.  Then he got married.  And he changed.  The laughing smiling uncle I had before turned into a sad, depressed, bitter man.  It broke my heart.

So I will have to be in a different country where I know that I will get picked on relentlessly. 

Oh, and then there are my parents.  My Mama does the same, picks on me, but she does it in a passive aggressive way.    Whenever I go home for Chrstmas to see my family, it’s always the same:  You’ve gained weight, you’ve dyed your hair, I hate it, stop piercing your body, you have too many tattoos, when are you going to get married, you’ve been engaged twice but you haven’t married is there a problem with you and the list goes on.

So for 8 wonderful days I am going to get picked on.  Yippee.  I kept thinking about it, I teared up and then…..I snapped.

Here is the exact email that I sent to my Mama:

Right, in regards to your visit.  I have some concerns.  I find,
especially when we go to Ireland, that I am going to get picked on.  Iknow that it is Nana's birthday but if I am going to be subjected toabuse, being picked at, questioned or harassed by anyone, it will NOTbe tolerated.  Yes, I have many tattoos.  Yes, I am overweight.  Yes,I didn't go to College.  Yes, I am living in sin with my boyfriend.Yes, I am mentally ill.  Yes, I have funny hair.  But you know what?I have travelled.  I speak languages (I am actually negotiating a withnew supplier in Italy).  I am helping run a business.  I amnegotiating a £2 million business deal.  I am now negotiating theterms of a new warehouse.  I have been told that I am a great manager.  I care for my staff.  So ifbeing an overweight tattooed mentally ill woman that is living in sinwith her boyfriend and that managing a successful, growing businessthat cares for her staff that doesn't do drugs that doesn't sell herbody is something to be made fun of and picked on then, well frankly,screw you. I am not taking it from anyone anymore.  I know this seemsa bit of a strange email but the anxiety and fear that I have had toshoulder in regards to "family" functions.  The questions, theobnoxious passive aggressive comments that have been made (actuallyAuntie, I do like shopping at charity shops because you can finddesigner labels and I love the vintage look.  It's called having asense of style and at least I am an individual and not a lemming), theway that I have been made to feel....I have hated and dreaded going tofamily functions for ages.  So again, this is a one time warning.,  Ifthere is any obnoxious or passive aggressive comments, clothingadjusting,lifestyle questioning or anything like that.  I WILL walk out and IWILL  leave.  And if any of these comments occur in the sanctity of MYhome, then the offending people will be asked to leave. Simple.  Rantover.”

Now that may not seem like a lot to you, but that is the first time that I have taken my Mama on.  I have always been subservient when it comes to my family (in the Italian culture la famiglia is everything.  You respect your elders) and when I hit send, I regretted it. 

I didn’t get a response for a few days.  Then Mama responded. 

“Well, your email took me by surprise.  Anyway, please don't stress over this visit.  My advice would be to not give them any fuel to start a confrontation.  You are a successful business woman who has taken care of yourself, speaks different languages and has travelled.  If you feel uncomfortable where a conversation is going just say "that was then and this is now." End of  story!

We Facetimed and she then picked on me about my newly dyed black hair.  I took a deep breath and told her to cut the crap.  She looked shocked.  I felt sick.  But I had to do it. 

I have let her rule me and guilt me for 33 years (it will be 34 years tomorrow….yes it is my birthday!!) and to be honest, I need to proudly show my tattoos and proudly be me.   I can’t let her old fashioned views and her words hurt me anymore.  I need to free myself of this. 

So please think of me on the 12th of November.  The Royal Visit will commence.  But this is a time for me to be strong and man up and face this head on!!!

So until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and your standards high and your heels even higher!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxx

Monday, 5 October 2015

On An Eventful and Very Crazy Weekend

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  It’s a cool day here in St Helens and I think that the old autumn has decided to rear its ugly head.  So I have dressed accordingly:  Not so Skinny jeans, white vest, black blazer, black 5 inch stiletto heeled ankle boots…no red lippy…no, I Betty Rage have tried a different colour.

You see, this past weekend was crazy!!!  The original plan was to go to Manchester on Saturday to see my card reader and I had 6 empty Mac Cosmetic containers to take back and get a free lippy.  (Mac cosmetics have a scheme called Give Back to Mac where you take 6 empty Mac containers – finished blush, powder, and such – and they reward you with a new lippy.  Fab!)

Everything was going to plan then I woke up on Saturday morning.  I woke up to 2 messages.  The first one being from Simon’s Mum stating that she wanted me to go to Aldi on Sunday morning to get her some new face cream that was advertised on the This Morning Show.  Apparently this cream is made by the same people that make La Prairie.  So she said that she was going to leave me the brochure circling what she wanted.  That was cool, I didn’t have a problem with that.

The second message came completely out of left field.  My cousin Stanley* was in England and he wanted to see if I was free for a beer and a catch up that night!!!!

So that put a massive spanner in the works.  The flat was a mess.  I had loads of laundry to do so I got up and started on the laundry.

I put the darks in and started cleaning.  Once the dark load was finished, I took it out and started to hang the clothes out to drive.  I took Simon’s jeans and they felt very heavy.  I put my hand in his jean pocket and…well…I found that I Betty Rage Domestic Goddess had put not only Simon’s jeans in the washing machine but his wallet also!!!  Simon has a habit of carrying around huge wads of cash so I thought “Fuck, Simon’s money!!”.  I quickly opened his wallet and strangely enough, the bills were in tact!!  I breathed a sigh of relief and put the bills on the window sill to dry.  I then creeped over and woke Simon up.  I then told him what happened and showed him that everything was fine  He looked at me and just shook his head.  I chimed in and said, what did you expect?  I’m half Italian, we have a tendency to do a bit of money laundering!!!  He smiled and kissed me.  And everything was fine with the world.

I rushed out and got my nails done (a lovely matte pink colour..I have been going through a matte make up phase.  I think matte nails in the autumn are quite chic.

I then sped off to get the train to Manchester.  The train was 15 minutes late so I sprinted to my card reader and got there on time. 

 I had a fabulous and great reading.  Loads of positivity and opportunity.  I need to take a step back and remember my blessings and the most important thing…let go of all bad people and situations.  Leaving those bad feelings and situations and people festering in your life is a bad thing and it can make you sick and drag you down.  So I left with a spring in my step and made my way to the Mac Counter.

Now I have a vast collection of red lippies as it is my signature.  I have decided to go for a different colour so the Mac consultant at Selfridges and I went through and settled on a matte neutral colour lippy with a matching lip pencil.  How do I feel about it?  Strange.  Very strange.  I am used to my armour of my red lippy but I am getting used to it.  I have been wearing it since 8:00am and it’s 4:30 now and it has stayed intact.  I am kind of liking it.  I want to start doing more with my eye make up and I feel that you should never do a bold eye with a bold lip colour.  So if I opt for a smoky eye, this colour is a perfect compliment.  The colour is Mehr by Mac and the lip pencil is Soar.

I then got on the train and got back to the train station and then floored it back to the flat where I started to tidy up as much as possible.  By the end of it I was tired and we decided to be naughty and we got a takeaway.    We were both cranky and tired.  Plus we were waiting for Stanley who was going to drop by at 8pm. 

Stanley arrived and I must admit, it was fab seeing him again.  The last time I saw him was 9 years ago in Ireland for my grandparents wedding anniversary.   He had aged but we chatted constantly. 

We opted to go out for a few beers and Simon tagged along.  It was a pleasant evening.  I thought that would be awkward I don’t get along with that side of the family and I am a bit of a black sheep so to speak but Stanley said, Black Sheep?  Betty you are a success.  I told him to report back to my uncle (my uncle is also my Godfather) that I am boring.  Stanley had admitted that he thinks I am a wild and crazy one but as I said to Stanley to be successful you need to be a bit unhinged.  He agreed.

Stanley stayed the night in the spare room.  He was gone by the morning as he had an early flight.

On Sunday, I woke up early and went to the gym.  I had a killer leg workout.  I finished my workout and made my way to Aldi for Simon’s Mum. 

I got there for 9:30 (the shop opened at 10am) and I was listnengn to music just chilling.  I then noticed the time and an old woman standing by the door.  So I got out of my car and joined her.  She was at least 75 and had a walking stick. As the minutes passed, more women were lining up.  They were all chatting excitedly about this face cream.  I had to stop myself from laughing because it was like we were going to see the holy grail.

When the store opened at 10am, the poor shop assistant genuinely looked scared at the big throng of women standing before him that wanted this face cream.  Luckily I was right at the front.  The shop assistant opened the door kind of reluctantly and we all pushed in dashing towards the place where the cream was.  I was one of the first people to get there.  I took Simon’s mum’s list out and picked the 3 products she wanted.  As I was picking the last product up, I felt the crowd push into me.  I tried to turn myself around to go to the till to pay but I was block in by a mob of women.  I then felt a sharp whack on my thigh.

The lovely 75 year old woman whacked me with her cane and she said move it!!!  I was trying to leave but I was blocked in.

Luckily, a staff member saw me and she yelled “everyone form an orderly queue please!”  I managed to free myself and run to the till.

I heard rustling and struggling as the women tried to get to the face creams.  I got to the till and I remarked damn!!!!  It’s like feding time at the zoo!

The woman behind the till said today is going to be shit.  WE only have 2 cases of this cream and when it runs out we will get the blame!  I paid and walked out with my thigh still throbbing from the smack I got from that kind old lady that I had been talking with not 5 minutes earlier.

It’s crazy what fashion and beauty can do!  I mean it reduced a bunch of nice old ladies into a pack of vultures circling a dead zebra.

Anywho, it was a crazy silly weekend and I am already looking forward to the next weekend and I have a tattoo scheduled for November so lots to look forward to!

So I leave you now Ragers and Ragettes.  Until next time keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!

Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxx