Hey Ragers and Ragettes!! It's a misty cool Saturday and I have to say that I am feeling fine!
As you all know, the last 3 years or so have been very up and down and unstable and crazy. But as I sit here now, I think that things are kind of stabilizing
When I moved into my new place, I always had this fear that my old housemate would some how hunt me down and try to hurt me. I know, stupid thoughts, but I was genuinely scared of her. Now> Not so much.
Since last April, I have slowly grown stronger. My confidence is coming back. I am clearing out the shit in my life. As you saw from last week, I am clearing my flat out and my life out.
Yes, in April, there will be another flat move. This time, it's not out of desperation but inspiration. Why am I moving again? Firstly, I saw my old housemate's fuck buddy in my local pub. That's too close to me. I just want to put the past away. Secondly, my crazy neighbor who tries to go into my flat when I am not here (I know I was stupid to give her the key!) and thirdly.....I just belong back in the city center. Plus this flat is falling apart.
2 week's ago, the toilet broke, the windows are leaking in water so I have black mold and moldy smelling curtains. Now there is an almighty stench from the bathroom. If I compare these problems to last year, I will take these any day.
At work, when I am on my lunch, I look at all the flats that are out there in the area that I used to live. I see the newer buildings with underground parking and views of the canal. I cannot help but get excited. In 2 and a half months, that will be my home!!!
Not only am I looking at flats, I have started being more Betty like!!
Yesterday, I was surfing the net at work and saw a pair of leopard print stilettos. They were marked down from £69 to £20. It would have been a crime to no purchase them. So I did! Plus in the great purge last week, I had to sadly get rid of my leopard print stilettos and my leopard print peep toes because I wore them out. Yes, I literally wore them out!! It was on sale and I needed them!!!!!!! Yes, I think that is a very Betty thing to do!
And today. Today I went to the salon to get my nails done (My nail technician is amazing!!!) I decided to dress up and look good.
So I rocked a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a leopard print camisole a black blazer and a pair of black stilettos with an ankle strap. I pulled my hair into a high pony tail and did my make up to perfection, I even added fake eyelashes (which are not so scary to put on after all!!). I topped it off with my new favorite red lippy and my Ted Baker black handbag. I felt like a million dollars!
I had to pick up a parcel in the same village as where the salon is.
As I walked through the village to get my parcel, I realized why I didn't wear these heels often....the ankle strap was cutting into my heel/ankle. But I remembered my Bettiness. So I slowed my strut down and gritted my teeth through the pain. Yes, the pain was immense!!!! But fuck me, I felt so good!!!
I limped to the shop, picked my parcel up and hobbled to the salon. As I got to the salon, I slowed down again, shook my ankle out, rolled my shoulders back and strutted into the salon not letting the strap digging into my ankle bother me.
I received a lot of compliments on my outfit. There was a blogger who was getting her hair done and an ex Manchester United footballer popped in to give his daughter (who works there) some supplies. I felt like I fit in.
I never felt so Betty! I forgot about the strap digging into my ankle. I remembered how I used to strut, shoulders back, and not giving a shit. I remember that my red lippy was my armor. Yes....I felt my power coming back to me.
I was in such good form! The woman who does my nails works at a department store at the Clinique counter. She told me to go to the department store where she works tomorrow and she will give me a free skincare consultation and if I want to purchase anything she will give me her discount. I grinned!!! Wearing my heels and purchasing cosmetics? I believe that is a very Betty thing to do!!!
So after I finished with my appointment, I waved goodbye to the girls and strutted/hobbled back to my car. At this point, though, I have to say that I was limping.
I had to do one more errand. I had to go into my village where I live and drop the previous tenants post off.
This was a problem in 2 ways.
First these fucking heels were now crippling me.
Secondly, I will have to speak to the estate agent. Why is this a problem? The guy who works for the estate agent made a pass at me when I went to the pub in my village one day. He tried to actually shove his tongue down my throat...in the pub....yeah. Awkward.
I pushed him away and kind of avoided going to the estate agency to drop off the previous tenant's mail.
But the mail was building up and I had to do something about it.
So I thought how am I going to do this?
Luckily I had a pair of black boots in my car. These boots were broken but passable. (The bottom of the heel broke off so one shoe made a clop sound)
I took my stilettos off and put the boots on. I fixed my lippy, powdered my nose and thought, no fucker controls me.
I strutted into the estate agent and there he was. I smiled and handed him the post.
Oh Betty!! Did you have a nice Christmas, he asked. Yes I did! We made small talk for a bit. Nothing too awkward
I then strutted out. I popped into my local. If my old flatmate's fuck buddy is there? Bring it on. You don't fuck with Betty!!! I literally felt invincible.
I am now sitting in my little flat sipping a glass of rose studying my ankle. I will wear the cuts from the ankle strap on my stilettos as a badge of honor. Betty is coming back!!!
Each day I get stronger. Each day, I get a little more of myself back.
By April when I move into my new home, I think I will be back to full on Betty mode. And I cannot fucking wait!!!
Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes! Keep your heads and standards high and your heels even higher
Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxx
Saturday 25 January 2020
Sunday 19 January 2020
On Clearing Out the Junk Cupboard and My Life
Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!! I hope that everyone is having the best day ever!
This past weekend has been amazing. I actually cleared my spare room and the junk cupboard. You know that cupboard? The one that you don't know what is in it but you are sure that if you open it you'll get hit on the head by something flying out. Yeah, that cupboard.
That was scary but not as scary as going through my shoes, bags and clothes.
On Friday night after work, I thought, let's do this. I messaged Suzanne and she helped me through the process. So I ended up getting rid of 25 pairs of shoes and 8 handbags. I also found my waterproof vibrator....seriously how did that end up with my shoes?
I contacted the estate agent that rented my flat out to me and told them that there was a lot of crap in the junk cupboard and they gave me permission to clear it out. So yesterday I tackled it, got hit in the head by Christmas ornaments, I swore at my Christmas tree, made up some new cuss words in the process and after 2 hours I was triumphant! I have a lovely clean hallway cupboard.
I also found out that I have a tendency of hoarding plastic bags and shopping bags that you buy at the grocery store!!! I had literally a bag full of fucking bags. Why? Why do I need so many bags??? So I took a few and put them in my car. Hopefully next time I am in the shops I will remember to take them with me!
So I got rid of 2 mops, 1 mop bucket, an ironing board, a broken vacuum cleaner and a broken space heater and a big wooden board. The cupboard is now clean!!
I feel loads better now. In total, I got rid of 7 garbage bags full of junk and 3 bags to go to the charity shop. I rewarded myself today with a much needed hot bath and a glass of prosecco. I put a Bobby Brown Exfoliating Face Mask (divine!!) on and a hair mask and watched Netflix in a scalding hot bath. When I have a bath like to remove at least 9 layers of skin. I came out looking like a lobster!
I have also been clearing out my friendship and relationships.
My friend Rita for example. Rita is a friend of mine that I treasure. When I was low, like really low when I lost my job in 2013, she was there for me. She met me for dinner, checked in on me, and generally kept me sane. Each temporary contract I got she applauded me and said she was proud of me. If it wasn't for her, I would have probably fallen into a downward spiral.
But Rita has changed. In 2014, she started behaving in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. She is in a relationship and has a 7 year old son. She is also pursuing a relationship with a person that she works with who is married.
Now I love both of these people. We have had great times together but seriously....Rita, get a grip on yourself!! He's married!!! You're in a relationship! You have a fucking kid!!! You need to be focusing on that kid.
The kid is a nightmare. He acts out and bullies other kids. He's acting like this because his dad works stupid hours and can't be bothered and Rita is too immersed in her phone and this other person to notice that her kid is turning into an asshole. (yes, you can call kids assholes)
The worst bit of this is that Rita is now snorting a lot of Columbian marching powder, if you know what I mean. Last time I went out with her, she was shoveling it up her nose, I mean she was vacuuming this shit up!!! She ended up getting drunk and started a fight with her sister in law. She ended up going to her dad's house at stupid o clock and threatened to, and I quote, smash her sister in law's fucking head against the pavement. Pleasant!!!
I know that Rita helped me out in the past. I have tried speaking to her and she just shrugs it off. I have tried taking her out for dinner and talk her around. This whole situation is affecting her physical and mental health. She looks like a skeleton with all the weight that she has lost. She isn't taking care of herself like she used to. She has said that she is so unhappy in her relationship.
I have said, Rita, if you are so unhappy, leave. Just leave! You have rights! Her house is in her name, not his. She could report him to the tax man for all the cash that he fella stashes in the house. (He runs his own business. After dating a man who did the same...I learned a lot) It would be tough at first, but she could do it easily. Rita is very pretty. She can have any man she wants. I seriously don't understand this.
When I last saw her in October with the person that she is having an affair with (she is upset at him as he is actually spending time with his wife and not paying attention to her) she drunkenly demanded that we book a trip to Amsterdam for Valentines Day and demanded this this person join us. When he wouldn't, she threw a temper tantrum and demanded that we go the week after
I stupidly booked 3 tickets. The next day, the person that Rita has been Jonesing over told me he can't go. Rita threw another tantrum
When I went home for Christmas, my dad and I were talking and he said that we need to surround ourselves with people that bring us up and not bring us down. We need to be with people that aren't destructive
So I did something selfish. I made up an excuse (it is partly true.) that work is getting busier. We are implementing a new computer system and I am part of the implementation team and I cannot book off time in February.
I told her this on a message. She just responded ok. I haven't heard from her since and you know what? I am ok with that.
I think that I don't want to be in that chain of pain anymore. I think that I want to be a selfish bitch and look after myself and surround myself with positive people that support me and don't bring me down with their pointless, self induced shit
The worst thing is when you try and give advice to people and they argue for their limitations. Like they prefer to be a victim. You give a suggestion and they come back with "But...". Seriously. You just want to be a victim. I call these people ask-holes. As in they ask for your advice and then proceed to shoot it down with a prepared statement of victimhood.
It's ok to have a pity party every once an awhile, but when you make it a lifestyle choice? Sorry. I don't want to be part of that.
I'm distancing myself from Simon. He has his new woman and he is happy and I am happy for him.
I'm distancing myself from Mr Wonderful and his friends. They are quite negative and the Mr Wonderful situation isn't the best. I feel that in the next 6 months or so that will fizzle out (it isn't bringing me discomfort. I'll let go when I am ready)
I don't have a lot of friends and I am ok with that. It's all about quality, not quantity. Plus, I am being the biggest selfish bitch ever. I am looking after my needs and taking care of my body. And I am moving in April. I want to concentrate on finding the right place and sorting myself out
I am on the up. I don't want people dragging me down with stupid self induced drama.
That's why I love Suzanne. We have mini wobbles about things but we always help each other through. I can talk about fashion with her. I love seeing her artwork. She makes me laugh and she is so supportive. That is the sort of person I want in my life.
I love being boring and focusing on the gym, healthy cooking, cleaning and work....for now. Once I move, I will start dating again, going out and about and getting into mischief. Now, though, is time for me to put myself first, mentally and physically, and concentrate on clearing out my closet and my life
Remember, It's better being lonely than with people that make you feel alone
Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!
Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxx
This past weekend has been amazing. I actually cleared my spare room and the junk cupboard. You know that cupboard? The one that you don't know what is in it but you are sure that if you open it you'll get hit on the head by something flying out. Yeah, that cupboard.
That was scary but not as scary as going through my shoes, bags and clothes.
On Friday night after work, I thought, let's do this. I messaged Suzanne and she helped me through the process. So I ended up getting rid of 25 pairs of shoes and 8 handbags. I also found my waterproof vibrator....seriously how did that end up with my shoes?
I contacted the estate agent that rented my flat out to me and told them that there was a lot of crap in the junk cupboard and they gave me permission to clear it out. So yesterday I tackled it, got hit in the head by Christmas ornaments, I swore at my Christmas tree, made up some new cuss words in the process and after 2 hours I was triumphant! I have a lovely clean hallway cupboard.
I also found out that I have a tendency of hoarding plastic bags and shopping bags that you buy at the grocery store!!! I had literally a bag full of fucking bags. Why? Why do I need so many bags??? So I took a few and put them in my car. Hopefully next time I am in the shops I will remember to take them with me!
So I got rid of 2 mops, 1 mop bucket, an ironing board, a broken vacuum cleaner and a broken space heater and a big wooden board. The cupboard is now clean!!
I feel loads better now. In total, I got rid of 7 garbage bags full of junk and 3 bags to go to the charity shop. I rewarded myself today with a much needed hot bath and a glass of prosecco. I put a Bobby Brown Exfoliating Face Mask (divine!!) on and a hair mask and watched Netflix in a scalding hot bath. When I have a bath like to remove at least 9 layers of skin. I came out looking like a lobster!
I have also been clearing out my friendship and relationships.
My friend Rita for example. Rita is a friend of mine that I treasure. When I was low, like really low when I lost my job in 2013, she was there for me. She met me for dinner, checked in on me, and generally kept me sane. Each temporary contract I got she applauded me and said she was proud of me. If it wasn't for her, I would have probably fallen into a downward spiral.
But Rita has changed. In 2014, she started behaving in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. She is in a relationship and has a 7 year old son. She is also pursuing a relationship with a person that she works with who is married.
Now I love both of these people. We have had great times together but seriously....Rita, get a grip on yourself!! He's married!!! You're in a relationship! You have a fucking kid!!! You need to be focusing on that kid.
The kid is a nightmare. He acts out and bullies other kids. He's acting like this because his dad works stupid hours and can't be bothered and Rita is too immersed in her phone and this other person to notice that her kid is turning into an asshole. (yes, you can call kids assholes)
The worst bit of this is that Rita is now snorting a lot of Columbian marching powder, if you know what I mean. Last time I went out with her, she was shoveling it up her nose, I mean she was vacuuming this shit up!!! She ended up getting drunk and started a fight with her sister in law. She ended up going to her dad's house at stupid o clock and threatened to, and I quote, smash her sister in law's fucking head against the pavement. Pleasant!!!
I know that Rita helped me out in the past. I have tried speaking to her and she just shrugs it off. I have tried taking her out for dinner and talk her around. This whole situation is affecting her physical and mental health. She looks like a skeleton with all the weight that she has lost. She isn't taking care of herself like she used to. She has said that she is so unhappy in her relationship.
I have said, Rita, if you are so unhappy, leave. Just leave! You have rights! Her house is in her name, not his. She could report him to the tax man for all the cash that he fella stashes in the house. (He runs his own business. After dating a man who did the same...I learned a lot) It would be tough at first, but she could do it easily. Rita is very pretty. She can have any man she wants. I seriously don't understand this.
When I last saw her in October with the person that she is having an affair with (she is upset at him as he is actually spending time with his wife and not paying attention to her) she drunkenly demanded that we book a trip to Amsterdam for Valentines Day and demanded this this person join us. When he wouldn't, she threw a temper tantrum and demanded that we go the week after
I stupidly booked 3 tickets. The next day, the person that Rita has been Jonesing over told me he can't go. Rita threw another tantrum
When I went home for Christmas, my dad and I were talking and he said that we need to surround ourselves with people that bring us up and not bring us down. We need to be with people that aren't destructive
So I did something selfish. I made up an excuse (it is partly true.) that work is getting busier. We are implementing a new computer system and I am part of the implementation team and I cannot book off time in February.
I told her this on a message. She just responded ok. I haven't heard from her since and you know what? I am ok with that.
I think that I don't want to be in that chain of pain anymore. I think that I want to be a selfish bitch and look after myself and surround myself with positive people that support me and don't bring me down with their pointless, self induced shit
The worst thing is when you try and give advice to people and they argue for their limitations. Like they prefer to be a victim. You give a suggestion and they come back with "But...". Seriously. You just want to be a victim. I call these people ask-holes. As in they ask for your advice and then proceed to shoot it down with a prepared statement of victimhood.
It's ok to have a pity party every once an awhile, but when you make it a lifestyle choice? Sorry. I don't want to be part of that.
I'm distancing myself from Simon. He has his new woman and he is happy and I am happy for him.
I'm distancing myself from Mr Wonderful and his friends. They are quite negative and the Mr Wonderful situation isn't the best. I feel that in the next 6 months or so that will fizzle out (it isn't bringing me discomfort. I'll let go when I am ready)
I don't have a lot of friends and I am ok with that. It's all about quality, not quantity. Plus, I am being the biggest selfish bitch ever. I am looking after my needs and taking care of my body. And I am moving in April. I want to concentrate on finding the right place and sorting myself out
I am on the up. I don't want people dragging me down with stupid self induced drama.
That's why I love Suzanne. We have mini wobbles about things but we always help each other through. I can talk about fashion with her. I love seeing her artwork. She makes me laugh and she is so supportive. That is the sort of person I want in my life.
I love being boring and focusing on the gym, healthy cooking, cleaning and work....for now. Once I move, I will start dating again, going out and about and getting into mischief. Now, though, is time for me to put myself first, mentally and physically, and concentrate on clearing out my closet and my life
Remember, It's better being lonely than with people that make you feel alone
Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!
Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxx
Sunday 12 January 2020
On the Big Clear Out
Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!
I hope that you are all having the best Sunday ever!!! I am having the best Sunday!
First, I got my talons cut down so I can actually type now!!! I am rocking a cute nude/white and rose gold tape combo so I am pleased!! I can type again!! I can put my false eyelashes on without poking my eyes out!!!! Life is great!
Sundays for me are all about me time. I made a vow ages ago that Sundays would be sacrosanct and that it is time for me to do things that I actually like doing! So I took a hot bath, put a face mask and hair mask on and had a glass of prosecco and watched Netflix in the bath for a half an hour. That is me time and I love it!!!
This morning though I started my day differently. I was in the kitchen cooking and I was looking in the cupboards and it just looked dire!! So after my breakfast, I started making my lunches for the week by using my new slow cooker....God I'm getting old...and then I decided to do something about the clutter in the kitchen.
When I moved into this apartment, it was advertised as "Fully Furnished" but I didn't realise how "Fully Furnished" it was!!! I have a load of dishes, glasses, tupperware plus loads of stuff that is in the hallway cupboard like 2 ironing boards, 3 mops and 2 vacuum cleaners. Great
So I decided to sort the kitchen out. I scrubbed and reorganised each cupboard. All he extraneous stuff that I don't use, I put in a bag and put it in the spare room (That is going to be fun to clean out!!!) Now my kitchen is clean and fab!!! I looked around my apartment and realised that I need to do this in every room. I am ok with that but one aspect is making me a bit anxious....my clothes and shoes
As you all know, I am a lover of shoes. But the other day I was looking through my shoes and I thought....damn....I have a shit ton of shoes!! Like a lot of shoes. Like 2 wardrobes, a stand free shoe rack and 2 suitcases full!!! I am moving again in April and it might be a good idea for me to let go?
For example. Exhibit A: The cute sparkly sandals I wore for when I was a bridesmaid for a wedding. Cute? Yes. Pretty? Yes. Dainty? Yes. Wearing.....TORTURE!!!
I mean, I think that there is still my blood on the ankle straps and the strap over the toes!! They are gorgeous but fuck me!! They cripple you! Plus all the skin that they tore off my heels and toes!! I think that if the government needs to get info out of people, just make them where these dainty little numbers and dance and within 30 seconds you will have all you need to know and more!!
I would eBay them (after disinfecting them obviously!) but they will get sent straight back for crippling the poor person that bought them. Maybe I should let go?
Do I need 7 pairs of black stilettos? These are things that I need to consider. In 3 months I'll have to move all these shoes.....again.
Plus if I get rid of a few pairs, it's making way for more cute new shoes, right? Right? I don't know. It just gives me anxiety. At work I can't wear stilettos. I am constantly running back and forth across the road to the warehouse and doing that in 5 inch stilettos sucks. So I have quite a collection of Converse and boots, which is ok!!!
Yesterday when I got my nails done, I wore my nude patent peep toes and I loved it!!! I forgot how much fun wearing stilettos is! I felt like my old self, which is great!! So on the weekends when I go out I need to wear my stilettos more.
I won't get rid of all of my stilettos just the ones that I don't see myself wearing. It will be difficult but worth it I think.
A wise person said, when you get rid of old things, you are making way for new things. And I like that. 2020 is already showing promise of being an awesome year. So I think that this year I will be gaining new experiences, new friends, a new relationship (I hope....yes, I need to get rid of Mr Wonderful) and a new home!!! I am genuinely excited!!!
But for the time being, I am going to enjoy another glass of prosecco, enjoy the smell of the chili that I prepped in the slow cooker and enjoy watching the football.....while wearing my black Ted Baker Stilettos, of course!!
Until Next time Ragers and Ragettes, Keep your heels and head high and your heels even higher.
Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage
Until next
I hope that you are all having the best Sunday ever!!! I am having the best Sunday!
First, I got my talons cut down so I can actually type now!!! I am rocking a cute nude/white and rose gold tape combo so I am pleased!! I can type again!! I can put my false eyelashes on without poking my eyes out!!!! Life is great!
Sundays for me are all about me time. I made a vow ages ago that Sundays would be sacrosanct and that it is time for me to do things that I actually like doing! So I took a hot bath, put a face mask and hair mask on and had a glass of prosecco and watched Netflix in the bath for a half an hour. That is me time and I love it!!!
This morning though I started my day differently. I was in the kitchen cooking and I was looking in the cupboards and it just looked dire!! So after my breakfast, I started making my lunches for the week by using my new slow cooker....God I'm getting old...and then I decided to do something about the clutter in the kitchen.
When I moved into this apartment, it was advertised as "Fully Furnished" but I didn't realise how "Fully Furnished" it was!!! I have a load of dishes, glasses, tupperware plus loads of stuff that is in the hallway cupboard like 2 ironing boards, 3 mops and 2 vacuum cleaners. Great
So I decided to sort the kitchen out. I scrubbed and reorganised each cupboard. All he extraneous stuff that I don't use, I put in a bag and put it in the spare room (That is going to be fun to clean out!!!) Now my kitchen is clean and fab!!! I looked around my apartment and realised that I need to do this in every room. I am ok with that but one aspect is making me a bit anxious....my clothes and shoes
As you all know, I am a lover of shoes. But the other day I was looking through my shoes and I thought....damn....I have a shit ton of shoes!! Like a lot of shoes. Like 2 wardrobes, a stand free shoe rack and 2 suitcases full!!! I am moving again in April and it might be a good idea for me to let go?
For example. Exhibit A: The cute sparkly sandals I wore for when I was a bridesmaid for a wedding. Cute? Yes. Pretty? Yes. Dainty? Yes. Wearing.....TORTURE!!!
I mean, I think that there is still my blood on the ankle straps and the strap over the toes!! They are gorgeous but fuck me!! They cripple you! Plus all the skin that they tore off my heels and toes!! I think that if the government needs to get info out of people, just make them where these dainty little numbers and dance and within 30 seconds you will have all you need to know and more!!
I would eBay them (after disinfecting them obviously!) but they will get sent straight back for crippling the poor person that bought them. Maybe I should let go?
Do I need 7 pairs of black stilettos? These are things that I need to consider. In 3 months I'll have to move all these shoes.....again.
Plus if I get rid of a few pairs, it's making way for more cute new shoes, right? Right? I don't know. It just gives me anxiety. At work I can't wear stilettos. I am constantly running back and forth across the road to the warehouse and doing that in 5 inch stilettos sucks. So I have quite a collection of Converse and boots, which is ok!!!
Yesterday when I got my nails done, I wore my nude patent peep toes and I loved it!!! I forgot how much fun wearing stilettos is! I felt like my old self, which is great!! So on the weekends when I go out I need to wear my stilettos more.
I won't get rid of all of my stilettos just the ones that I don't see myself wearing. It will be difficult but worth it I think.
A wise person said, when you get rid of old things, you are making way for new things. And I like that. 2020 is already showing promise of being an awesome year. So I think that this year I will be gaining new experiences, new friends, a new relationship (I hope....yes, I need to get rid of Mr Wonderful) and a new home!!! I am genuinely excited!!!
But for the time being, I am going to enjoy another glass of prosecco, enjoy the smell of the chili that I prepped in the slow cooker and enjoy watching the football.....while wearing my black Ted Baker Stilettos, of course!!
Until Next time Ragers and Ragettes, Keep your heels and head high and your heels even higher.
Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage
Until next
Sunday 5 January 2020
On 2020 - New Year New Adventures and a New Life
Happy New Year, Ragers and Ragettes!!
Here I am on a rainy, gross Sunday. Never would I have thought this time last year that I would be where I am now.
Last year I felt hopeless, sadness and fear. A couple of times I wanted to end my life.
But here I am, in my own home, drinking a glass of red wine and watching the football without a care in the world. (And looking at my nails, I really need to get them done. I have my Betty Talons and they are long and I am struggling to type. But they look good!!!! But it sucks to type!! Luckily I am getting them done on Saturday.)
Looking back on 2019, I planted a lot of seeds. And this year, I have a feeling that they will grow
I have also realized that Mr Wonderful isn't for me. He's nice, classy, well traveled...but I am just not feeling it. Frankly, he irritates me. So I am going to have to figure out how to break up with him
I also realized that I am over Simon completely. How do I know this?
Well, I was getting ready to do my Sunday self care ritual when the door buzzer sounded. I ran down stairs to open the door. (the door buzzer thing isn't working so I had to run down the stairs and physically open the door) And there was Simon, his girlfriend and her little daughter. I was shocked. He came in and hugged me and his girlfriend's daughter ran up and hugged me. I invited them up and we sat down and chatted. The little girl found my vanity table with my make up on it and she started pointing and asking to try different items. I asked Simon's girlfriend if it is ok and she smiled and said yes. So I put some lipstick, glitter lip gloss, highlighter and my glitter hair spray on her and she was so happy she ran out to show her mother with such pride. She kissed her mother on the cheek leaving a lipstick mark and then she ran to Simon and kissed him on the cheek and she ran to me and kissed me on the cheek. I couldn't help but smile.
This time last year, if this happened, I would have fallen apart. But after his visit was over, and I shut the door I didn't feel anger, sick or resentment. I felt, dare I say.....happy? Just happiness that he was happy. Him being happy doesn't take away from my happiness.
So saying that, yes, I am actually very happy. Seriously, I am!!! Work is going from strength to strength. I have finally been diagnosed with an under-active thyroid and I have finally been given medication. The medication is working. I am feeling loads better. The Mr Wonderful situation will resolve itself. Mr Right is out there....he's probably up a tree and I need to save him
But I genuinely feel that 2017, I made a decision that made my world crash and burn, 2018, I was putting the fires out, 2019 I planted the seeds and 2020, those seeds are sprouting and I will harvest all I planted. All the suffering and hurt has made me stronger, tougher, and now I have boundaries. I will never let myself be mistreated ever again.
But first things first, I need to get these nails cut!!!
Happy 2020, Ragers and Ragettes!! I hope it is prosperous, happy and successful!!
Keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher
Lots of Love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxx
Here I am on a rainy, gross Sunday. Never would I have thought this time last year that I would be where I am now.
Last year I felt hopeless, sadness and fear. A couple of times I wanted to end my life.
But here I am, in my own home, drinking a glass of red wine and watching the football without a care in the world. (And looking at my nails, I really need to get them done. I have my Betty Talons and they are long and I am struggling to type. But they look good!!!! But it sucks to type!! Luckily I am getting them done on Saturday.)
Looking back on 2019, I planted a lot of seeds. And this year, I have a feeling that they will grow
I have also realized that Mr Wonderful isn't for me. He's nice, classy, well traveled...but I am just not feeling it. Frankly, he irritates me. So I am going to have to figure out how to break up with him
I also realized that I am over Simon completely. How do I know this?
Well, I was getting ready to do my Sunday self care ritual when the door buzzer sounded. I ran down stairs to open the door. (the door buzzer thing isn't working so I had to run down the stairs and physically open the door) And there was Simon, his girlfriend and her little daughter. I was shocked. He came in and hugged me and his girlfriend's daughter ran up and hugged me. I invited them up and we sat down and chatted. The little girl found my vanity table with my make up on it and she started pointing and asking to try different items. I asked Simon's girlfriend if it is ok and she smiled and said yes. So I put some lipstick, glitter lip gloss, highlighter and my glitter hair spray on her and she was so happy she ran out to show her mother with such pride. She kissed her mother on the cheek leaving a lipstick mark and then she ran to Simon and kissed him on the cheek and she ran to me and kissed me on the cheek. I couldn't help but smile.
This time last year, if this happened, I would have fallen apart. But after his visit was over, and I shut the door I didn't feel anger, sick or resentment. I felt, dare I say.....happy? Just happiness that he was happy. Him being happy doesn't take away from my happiness.
So saying that, yes, I am actually very happy. Seriously, I am!!! Work is going from strength to strength. I have finally been diagnosed with an under-active thyroid and I have finally been given medication. The medication is working. I am feeling loads better. The Mr Wonderful situation will resolve itself. Mr Right is out there....he's probably up a tree and I need to save him
But I genuinely feel that 2017, I made a decision that made my world crash and burn, 2018, I was putting the fires out, 2019 I planted the seeds and 2020, those seeds are sprouting and I will harvest all I planted. All the suffering and hurt has made me stronger, tougher, and now I have boundaries. I will never let myself be mistreated ever again.
But first things first, I need to get these nails cut!!!
Happy 2020, Ragers and Ragettes!! I hope it is prosperous, happy and successful!!
Keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher
Lots of Love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxx
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