Hey Ragers and Ragettes!! Happy Sunday!
Today has been a glorious day here in the northwest of England. We are still in lockdown and will be for the next 3 weeks at least.
So for the next 3 weeks we carry on
I have been doing what I can to stay sane.
I'm not reading the news. All I am reading is the official government website to know what the rules are. I'm not reading conspiracy theories, people complaining and other crap like that. I want to focus on keeping positive.
I've let my routine slip a bit so I am fixing that tomorrow. I'm going back to my normal routine of getting up, working out (YouTube has some great workouts!), showering, working and such. I might even wear make up at work. I think I'll start experimenting with some different looks and some techniques that I have been afraid to try. Why not?
Also, I decided on Friday night to venture into the world of online dating
I started this blog when I was doing the online dating thing. I had a load of crazy adventures. So when I was sitting on the couch on Friday night I thought fuck it. What do I have to lose?
So the conversations are about how our first dates would be: walks followed by a dinner in a country pub, out to a nice restaurant for dinner, out for some cheese and wine, to the movies....
From this experience, I have classified the men that I have been chatting to into 3 different categories:
1. Nice Guys
2. Assholes
3. I'm likely to end up buried under their floorboards
The funny thing is that there are a lot of guys who are under 25 that are matching with me as they want a "Cougar". Yes, a fucking cougar. Surely I am not that old??????
There have been some genuinely nice guys. There is one that I have been talking to and we will most likely meet up. He's 5 years older than me, has a good job and lives just down the road.
Then there are ones that demand your phone number and when you don't give them your phone number they get arsey with you. (File them under assholes) Or you get the ones that if you don't message back straight away they get really needy and clingy. That is really unattractive.
You get ones that look really good, they tick all the boxes but the conversation doesn't flow. And that is ok too.
Doing this, I have learned so much about what I want from a man: I want a man's man. A man that will act like a traditional man. I want a man that isn't too much older than me. The age range that I put into the app is 38 - 45. (I'm 38)
He must be in a job. I don't mind if he is a mechanic or a builder or a CEO. I want him working and independent.
Must have his own place. I figure by the time you get to my age you need to not be living with your parents. I know that the last few years I've been doing the house share thing and it was painful. I love my independence. I love not having to tip toe around people. I want to be able to go to his home without freaking out because we might wake up his housemate or mother.
Must share hobbies. I like going for nature walks so I want him to like that also. I love the football, working out, going out to dinner and things like that.
Looks.....Looks aren't important but he can't look like a hobo....or a hipster...in fact there is little difference between those 2....Facial hair doesn't bother me. He must be clean and take care of himself. I'm not talking about following a 90 step Korean face care routine (those things are crazy!!!!!) but someone that get his hair cut, showers, doesn't mind scrubbing up and looking nice when going out. Does that make sense?
Must love pets...preferable if he has a dog. I love dogs. I'd love to get a house and have a dog one day. Plus he must like my piggies.
Drugs are a deal breaker.
I have found loads of guys that fulfill those must haves.
I've been on this app for 2 days and I have spoken to a load of guys. It's a bit of fun.
According to the Government bars and restaurant might open in May/June. So there is no harm in chatting and meeting people and scheduling a post lockdown date, is there?
So, I'm going to enjoy for the next 6-8 weeks chatting and getting to know a bunch of new people. And you never know, I just might meet my future husband. Stranger things have happened!
Until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your heads and standards high and your heels even higher.
Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxx
Sunday 19 April 2020
Saturday 11 April 2020
On the Big Move and General Strangeness
Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!
What a very weird Saturday! Here in Greater Manchester, it is a beautiful day. Normally the village I now live in would be bustling with activity but it is dead. So weird. Strange times indeed.
Well the move happened. And it happened so smoothly. I rented the van and because of this situation, the roads were empty. I was able to confidently drive it, no scuff marks or dents with relative confidence. I'm telling you, I have so much respect for van drivers now!
Because my apartment's front door is on the ground floor and accessible, I was able to drive to the front door, throw everything in and get settled rather quickly.
I love my little home. I love it so much that I can't stop buying things for it! I have been able to decorate and furnish it with the help of Argos (the Argo's are open in Sainsbury's), Sainsbury's and good old Tesco (and there are some cute sundresses in Tesco now!!!!). I'm about 80% of the way there now. Once all this craziness is done, I am going to buy the rest. I want to get some decorations for the walls, a rug for the living room and I cannot think of what color I want in my bedroom! I had my heart set on Orange but I can't find anything I like. I learned my lesson to not buy things just because. It needs to sit right with me.
Work has been insanely busy. Our sales are up 25% and considering we are in a pandemic I think that is pretty good! Because my job is classed as business critical, I have been working pretty much 6 - 7 days a week but with my company they reward hard work. And our new American owners like me and compliment me in front of my managers so I think all will be ok.
But the one thing that changed everything happened on Thursday April 9th.
My little guinea piggie who I had for 5 and a half years passed away. I found him on Thursday morning and my heart broke.
I have been through breakups, job losses, and some crazy ass shit but I have to say, this KO'd me. It was almost on par with when I had a miscarriage. That little guy and I had been through so much. He helped me cope with bad days, panic attacks, anxiety, and a lot of crazy stuff for the last 5 and a half years.
On that Thursday I had to go through 2 conference calls. The first one was with his little body wrapped up in a towel and in a box next to me. I had to keep muting myself to stop the sobs. After that conference call was over, I took his little body to the vets to cremate him. You can buy some jewellery made from the ashes of your dead pets or loved ones. I want to get a ring or a pendant so I can hold him and keep him close to my heart always.
When I told Simon of his passing he broke down into tears. I've only seen Simon cry a handful of times. Unlike me, who is emotionally incontinent, he can hold it together.
We decided (as we are on good terms still and that is ok with me.) that after all this madness is done, I am going to bring the ashes and I'll give him some to do with what he needs to and we are going to bury him with his brother who passed 2 years ago.
The shittiest part of this situation is that on Thursday I wanted to get into my car and drive straight to Suzanne and get a hug but I dare not do that. Suzanne is at risk as she has heart issues (I think it is because her heart is so big and so full of love her body can't take it.) and breathing issues. I couldn't get a hug from my mother but a hug from Suzanne would pull me through. When I told her, she was upset as she knew what he meant to me.
I sat back on Thursday and yesterday and asked why God would do something so cruel and mean and nasty. Why? To take away something that was more precious than gold, diamonds or anything. Why would he cruelly do this to me?
Then it hit me. I understood fully.
This little piggie was the second to last thing that I had that bound me to Simon. (The last is the house we own together.)
He died so I could live. So I could move on and start forging the future I have always wanted. This was one of the final parts that needed to leave.
Knowing this helped ease the pain a bit. If I take this for what I feel it is, and I use the pain to better myself and to move on, his death won't be in vain. This is God saying, hey, sort yourself out!!!! It's your time to shine.
And you know? I think it is.
Since I have moved in, I haven't binged on junk food. I haven't eaten until I felt sick. I haven't drunk 2 bottles of wine in a sitting and do stupid shit. I haven't gained weight. I'm sleeping better. I am feeling a lot better about life.
I know that things are working out and the path that was obscure for so long is starting to reveal itself.
So as I sit here and I write this I smile. All of the craziness, weirdness that the universe has thrown at me, and I have ended up in this beautiful apartment on a sunny day in Manchester living next to a good looking guy named Alfonso (name changed to protect the innocent) who likes to workout outside in front of my apartment without his shirt on...I think that this summer is going to be pretty fucking sweet!!
Until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher
Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxx
What a very weird Saturday! Here in Greater Manchester, it is a beautiful day. Normally the village I now live in would be bustling with activity but it is dead. So weird. Strange times indeed.
Well the move happened. And it happened so smoothly. I rented the van and because of this situation, the roads were empty. I was able to confidently drive it, no scuff marks or dents with relative confidence. I'm telling you, I have so much respect for van drivers now!
Because my apartment's front door is on the ground floor and accessible, I was able to drive to the front door, throw everything in and get settled rather quickly.
I love my little home. I love it so much that I can't stop buying things for it! I have been able to decorate and furnish it with the help of Argos (the Argo's are open in Sainsbury's), Sainsbury's and good old Tesco (and there are some cute sundresses in Tesco now!!!!). I'm about 80% of the way there now. Once all this craziness is done, I am going to buy the rest. I want to get some decorations for the walls, a rug for the living room and I cannot think of what color I want in my bedroom! I had my heart set on Orange but I can't find anything I like. I learned my lesson to not buy things just because. It needs to sit right with me.
Work has been insanely busy. Our sales are up 25% and considering we are in a pandemic I think that is pretty good! Because my job is classed as business critical, I have been working pretty much 6 - 7 days a week but with my company they reward hard work. And our new American owners like me and compliment me in front of my managers so I think all will be ok.
But the one thing that changed everything happened on Thursday April 9th.
My little guinea piggie who I had for 5 and a half years passed away. I found him on Thursday morning and my heart broke.
I have been through breakups, job losses, and some crazy ass shit but I have to say, this KO'd me. It was almost on par with when I had a miscarriage. That little guy and I had been through so much. He helped me cope with bad days, panic attacks, anxiety, and a lot of crazy stuff for the last 5 and a half years.
On that Thursday I had to go through 2 conference calls. The first one was with his little body wrapped up in a towel and in a box next to me. I had to keep muting myself to stop the sobs. After that conference call was over, I took his little body to the vets to cremate him. You can buy some jewellery made from the ashes of your dead pets or loved ones. I want to get a ring or a pendant so I can hold him and keep him close to my heart always.
When I told Simon of his passing he broke down into tears. I've only seen Simon cry a handful of times. Unlike me, who is emotionally incontinent, he can hold it together.
We decided (as we are on good terms still and that is ok with me.) that after all this madness is done, I am going to bring the ashes and I'll give him some to do with what he needs to and we are going to bury him with his brother who passed 2 years ago.
The shittiest part of this situation is that on Thursday I wanted to get into my car and drive straight to Suzanne and get a hug but I dare not do that. Suzanne is at risk as she has heart issues (I think it is because her heart is so big and so full of love her body can't take it.) and breathing issues. I couldn't get a hug from my mother but a hug from Suzanne would pull me through. When I told her, she was upset as she knew what he meant to me.
I sat back on Thursday and yesterday and asked why God would do something so cruel and mean and nasty. Why? To take away something that was more precious than gold, diamonds or anything. Why would he cruelly do this to me?
Then it hit me. I understood fully.
This little piggie was the second to last thing that I had that bound me to Simon. (The last is the house we own together.)
He died so I could live. So I could move on and start forging the future I have always wanted. This was one of the final parts that needed to leave.
Knowing this helped ease the pain a bit. If I take this for what I feel it is, and I use the pain to better myself and to move on, his death won't be in vain. This is God saying, hey, sort yourself out!!!! It's your time to shine.
And you know? I think it is.
Since I have moved in, I haven't binged on junk food. I haven't eaten until I felt sick. I haven't drunk 2 bottles of wine in a sitting and do stupid shit. I haven't gained weight. I'm sleeping better. I am feeling a lot better about life.
I know that things are working out and the path that was obscure for so long is starting to reveal itself.
So as I sit here and I write this I smile. All of the craziness, weirdness that the universe has thrown at me, and I have ended up in this beautiful apartment on a sunny day in Manchester living next to a good looking guy named Alfonso (name changed to protect the innocent) who likes to workout outside in front of my apartment without his shirt on...I think that this summer is going to be pretty fucking sweet!!
Until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher
Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxx
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