Hey Ragers and Ragettes. I wanted to write about my new hair extensions but sadly life has happened. I received some devastating news this morning. A friend of mine died last night.
Wanda (name changed) and I met online in a guinea pig forum. She was a New Yorker who lived a colourful life. She was battling uterine cancer but she was winning her battle. We started talking because she identified my depression and was a counsellor that worked with the mentally ill in New York.
Last night it seems, her husband of 16 years stabbed her to death then turned the knife on himself. He was able to be saved and is in the hospital now.
I found out when I was scrolling through my newsfeed. Wanda's Facebook profile pic popped up. At first I thought it was one of those jokey quiz games where you found out what you were in a past life, but I read the article. Murdered. Stabbed by her husband. I threw up.
Wanda and I chatted extensively for 3 months. She was always there if I was struggling with my mental health. Recently I decided to get help for my depression and she walked me through it. I had to talk to doctors about some dark times, Wanda always messaged to see if I was ok and how it went.
She was winning her battle with her uterine cancer. I'd ask her daily how she was. She'd always reply, I'm winning. She had everything to live for. The treatment was working. This couldn't have been a suicide pact. A knifing is a crime of passion, Rage and anger. Not love and concern. She spoke so highly of her husband. The questions going through my head, Was he abusing her all this time? Why would he snap?
2016 has been a crazy, crazy year. I lost Anne, Nana Rage now Wanda. I just don't get it. This why I have issues with religion. Why does God insist on taking these good people and let her assailant live? (If New York has the death penalty then please fry this bastard up!!!!)
Selfishly I think who am I going to go to for help? I feel so alone now. Yes, we never met but a connection was there.
Seeing her Facebook page with people telling how she touched other people's lives gave me the validation of what I knew. She was selfless, loving, funny and special.
As I sit here waiting for my dinner to cook, I feel numb. It's not the medication the doctors put me on, it's the emptiness of not getting a message from her to see how my appointment was today. Or her telling me about the art class she was taking. And how she loved to listen to her jazz records (she used to be a jazz singer). Simon and I were planning on going over to see her.
I'm sorry if this post makes no sense. All I can say is Rest in Peace, dear Wanda. You were one in a billion and tonight the stars will be a little brighter tonight....
Take care of yourselves Ragers and Ragettes. I appreciate you all.
Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxx