Wednesday, 25 March 2015

On Betty’s Weight Loss Challenge

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!  It’s a sunny, beautiful glorious day here in St Helens.  The sun is shining and everyone has the joys of spring.  So today I am dressed to impress.  My cream blazer (I’m sick of black), my wine coloured racer back vest, skinny jeans and my leopard print peep toes.  I am feeling fab!!

Well, I have been trying for ages to lose weight as you know.  This has been a hard struggle for me but I feel like I am making headway. 

My new trainer is amazing.  We click, have a laugh and I am seeing improvements in my fitness.  Like when I do my high intensity intervals, I don't feel like I am going to die anymore! She put me on a new diet plan as well.  I am eating 1500 calories a day and doing cardio 4 times a week, weight lifting 2 times a week and yoga 1 day a week.

On Monday I did a hard 50 minute cardio session.  30 minutes of high interval training and 20 minutes on the bike.  Tuesday, I made a mini triathlon...3 kilometer “skiing (cross trainer machine)", 5 kilometer bike ride and a 1.5 kilometer run.  By the end of it, my face was as purple as my purple top!!!  It was hard but rewarding.

This morning I was having a session with her and she said to me, Betty I am so impressed with your training this week!  You’re doing great!   I thanked her and smiled.

I look up to my trainer because she has been nothing but good to me and she has overcome eating disorders to get where she is today.  So she knows how it feels to be in a body that you hate but she is helping me get it sorted.  She too is on a journey to get her body fitter as she has a body form competition coming up.

She smiled at me as I was getting ready to do my killer squat routine.  She said, Betty, let’s make April a really good month. 

I did my first squat rep and said of course it will be a fab month!  I am pleased with the training plan and the diet. 

She said why don’t you make a goal for the end of April/beginning of May?  Is there an outfit that you want to get into?

There are thousands of outfits that I want to get into.  That’s the problem.   The outfits I want to get into are smaller than I could accomplish in a month.

I looked at her and said I don’t want to commit myself.  I have made sweeping declarations before.  The one that hurt was that I wanted to get into my red vintage winter coat by my birthday last year.  That failed majorly. 

But looking back, last year, I was still a bit unsettled.  I gained a boyfriend, just moved from a fabulous city to a town with crap shops (There is no Selfridges or Harvey Nichols in St Helens, I will have you know!), I got a new job, and I had to settle and figure out where I am in this world.  I feel that I am now only really feeling settled.

Now I feel more comfortable.  I found a beautician, a hair dresser, things are settling for me.

I was thinking this over as I tore through my squats feeling the burn in my thighs and butt. 

I then thought about the white trousers.

The fabulously gorgeous Elizabeth Hurley is always snapped wearing her white trousers in the summer.  In Fashion magazines it's a running joke!  They are white denim with a slight flare.  They are classy and very versatile, though and us women need a piece like that in our wardrobes.

I too own such a pair of trousers.  These trousers are cotton with a kick flare that go with everything, and I mean everything!  They, for me are a summer staple.  I wore them back in 2008 and again in 2010.

They are from a boutique in Ireland called A/Wear.  They are a size down from what I wear now.  I few weeks ago I wanted to see how big I was so I tried them on.  They went easily past my thighs but when it came to my hips, it was hard work but I got them on my hips.  I then hoicked them up to my waist.  They were not going to zip up at all. 

As I started to do my dead lift , I looked at my trainer and asked, when is your competition?

She said the 3rd of May.

I asked her, do you think that is feasible to lose a dress size from now until 3rd of May?

She said, yeah, if you stick to the routine, continue to eat clean and put in the effort that you are doing now, I don’t see why not.

I told her about the white trousers and said, how about this.  By your competition on May 3rd, I will be in my white trousers.

She smiled and said, agreed.  

So Ragers and Ragettes.  That’s my goal.  By Sunday May 3rd, I need to lose enough weight to fit into the white trousers.  The rules are, the trousers must be in a wearable state so no muffin top, no camel toe, no tummy over the waistband and I need to photograph myself wearing these trousers and send it to my trainer on the 3rd of May.

It’s a big ask but the key, for me, is to break it down day by day.  Focus on eating healthy and exercising today.  Don’t think about tomorrow.  Just today.  The hardest part though is seeing my body in the state that it is.  My tummy is the bit that I hate the most.  It's flabby and dreadful.

This weight loss battle has been going on for 17 years now.  I have yo-yo’d so much that I am irritated with it now. 

I have made some lifestyle changes in my life and they are changes that are going to stay.  For example, I have cut down my drinking now to nothing.  I had a slip up this month at the hair dressing competition.  But 25 days with 1 drink is really, really good for me.  I am proud of that.  So I have decided that I am not going to buy wine anymore at the super market.  If I am going to have a drink, it will be for a big occasion, like this coming weekend, Simon and my 1 year anniversary (Where has the time gone?).  I don't need the drink.  Too many calories!  Plus when you drink loads, you tend to go to a takeaway and soon before you know it you wake up next to an empty container that contained a kebab with cheesy chips!!

Here is to the Betty Rage Weight Loss Challenge:  getting my ass into the white trousers by May 3rd.  Let's do this!

So until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!

Lots of love,

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxx

Thursday, 19 March 2015

On Thoughts of the Past Year

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!  It’s Thursday and I am freezing!!!  I should have worn trousers but I have a meeting today so I need to look smart.  I am rocking a shift dress that has an orange, pink and black bodice with my black blazer over the top.

My post today is something that I have wanted to talk about for awhile but I haven’t been able to find the right words or get into the right mindset to discuss it. 

I have been writing this blog for over a year now and my life, since I started writing, has dramatically changed in a way that was beyond my wildest dreams. 

Am I better off?  

You see, recently I have been doing a lot of thinking.  My life in Manchester was constant drama, frustration, poverty, fear, loneliness and disappointment.   But, it was my life.  I came and went as I wanted.  I had a tidy flat, I could buy what food I wanted and spend what I wanted on food (I will never forget at the end of the month before my paycheque came through living on cheese sandwiches for 2 weeks because I was broke), I could walk to the city center and see the hustle and bustle.  I used to love that.  Walking along the canal would clear my head and I would look out my window, light up a cigarette and see the Beetham Tower and think “This is my kingdom.”

My life now?  Pretty much drama free.  The only drama goes on in the lives of my friends and I find sometimes living vicariously through them.  Enjoying the drama and the “he said, she said”.  Gone are the days when I can walk carelessly into town, come home to my clean apartment, eat loads of cheese sandwiches, and have drama.

Now I go home to a flat that is constantly being messed up by my boyfriend.  I can walk through the suburbs and see yummy mummies with their beautiful children and feel suddenly inadequate.  I walk into my apartment block with the residents giving me funny looks for my funky hair and tattoos. 

I sometimes feel like I have taken on a man who is really a toddler that has had 4 cans of coke, 2 espressos, a bag of M&M’s and a can of Red Bull.  This man/child, I call, the seagull.  He flies in, squawks, flaps, makes a mess, shits everywhere and goes onto the next room leaving the destruction behind him for me to clean. 

I dread it when we go food shopping.  He’s like a child.  He just picks things up and throws them into the shopping trolley like a naughty child. 

I sometimes ask myself, is this it?  Is this the rest of my life cleaning up after a man/child? 

And work....I am bored shitless.  Honestly.  My last job in the corporate sausage machine was a bit more pleasant.  I could at least get my SIPS qualification.  I could have holiday time, pay raises.  I couldn’t even get time out to see Suzanne on her birthday.   My job itself?  I thought that I would get stuck in and get the business stuff sorted....wrong!!  I am pretty much Simon’s PA.  We have screaming matches at work but when we get home we’re happy loving couple.  If I knew Simon in a normal working environment, I wouldn’t touch him with a 10 foot pole!!

Don’t get me wrong, I love Simon very much but there is a part of me that says....what if?  What if I chose Jan?  What if I chose Manchester and the single life?  Would I be happier?  Would I be more fulfilled?

Good things have come out of this past year, though.  Simon, with all his faults, is great.  He makes me smile.  We giggle and joke and cuddle every night.  The sex is great and I feel loved.  I have 2 gorgeous little guinea pigs that I adore!!! 

I am close to getting my finances back on track.  (I need to stop my spending habits though!!)  My car insurance has been paid in full for the first time in one month.  (Yes I am flat broke until April 1st.)  I feel like I have support and options.

I am doing well with my weightloss/health and fitness.  I finally have all the pieces and I feel ready to get up and go. 

Good has come out of me leaving my old life behind but I feel that I am always going to have these thoughts in the back of my head.

So when I went to the Blackpool Hair Show last week, I went in and saw a fortune teller.  She had a tent set up at the site.

I walked in and sat down across from her.  I looked around at the decor and there were photos of her with actors and actresses from Coronation Street. 

I gave her the money, she put it on the Crystal Ball stand and started to read for me.  She said that the next 12 months will be a lot of changes.

She read some more and here is the jist of what she said:  Basically Simon is the right man for me.  We were meant to be together.   She said that I am a creative woman who is very good at writing and that my writing will be my success. 

She said that she sees trips abroad and a home abroad.  She painted a rosy picture of the future with Simon.  She said also that this time next year, I will be a different woman, more settled, healthier, thinner and successful.  I took heart in that.

So as I sit here with Simon in dictator mode I smile.  Soon it will be my time to shine.  I need to be here now to build up my mental strength, continue setting the foundations for the life that I was meant to have and that I deserve.

I never said that Simon and I were perfect.  WE have our moments where I would love to throw him out the window but I look at him.  Yes, he’s a pain in the ass but he is my pain in the ass!! 

I am sorry if this is a strange post, Ragers and Ragettes.  But these thoughts have been fighting to get out. 

So until next time, keep your heads and standards high and your heels even higher

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage  xxxxx

Monday, 16 March 2015

On Being a Model

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  It’s Monday and I have a case of the Monday blues!!!  My past weekend was a whirlwind of getting ready for the competition and the actual competition.  I usually like a quiet weekend because I can get my chill on.  Work is demanding and a girl needs some down time!

The competition was an insanely fabulous experience.  For starters, it took my hairdresser 7 hours to get the colour right in my hair!!  I went in on Friday and Saturday as the violet that he put in my hair on the Friday didn't take the way he wanted it to.

On the Sunday, my nail technician came to the apartment to do my makeup at 7am. It was very striking.  She put red glitter on my eyelids and did a smokey look.  My lips were red and my complexion looked flawless.  I was pleased with the makeup. 

My hairdresser opted for 3 hair models (me, his assistant Lewis and his other assistant Alison) and we would be featured in 3 different categories.  I was first up for the ladies cut and blow dry category, Lewis was up for the Gents cut and blow dry and Alison, who’s whole head was in hair rollers, was up for the colour category.  I decided to rock my black jumpsuit with gold accessories and my 5 inch gold stiletto sandals as he put a gold slice in my hair that was striking for the actual competition.  I showed up in my bootcut jeans, cowboy boots, vest and blazer.

I was due to go on at 1:30, Lewis was due to go on at 3:15 and Alison was due on 3:45. 

We were sitting on the side lines at the competition watching the other categories compete.  I noticed one thing.  At the end of each competition the models struck poses.  I didn’t know that I had to pose!!  I said to Lewis, do I have to pose?

He said, yes.  At the end of the category you need to pose and hold it for the judges and then they invite the people to come in and photograph you.  So you need to hold it for about 10 minutes.

I had no idea what sort of pose I should hold.  I messaged Suzanne.  She would know!!   She said that I should look over my shoulder.  Hmmmmm....

At 1:15, I started to look for Ali so we could get a strategy.  I couldn’t find him.  Then I heard “Could the competitors for the Ladies Cut and Blow Dry Category please go to the competition area.”  No Ali!!!

I looked at my watch.  Maybe they are just setting up.  Lewis, Alison and I were looking for him.  Lewis called his mobile and Ali’s bag started ringing.  He didn’t bring his phone with him!!!!!!!!   We panicked especially when the announcer put out a call for him and me to enter the competition floor. 

Then the competition started.....without Ali!!!!  I looked at my watch.  It was 1:20. They started teh competition 10 minutes early!!!!

All of a sudden Ali ran over to me grabbed my arm and his bag and we entered the competition and plead with the officials.  They let us in.

I sat down at the table, Ali, put the hairdressing gown on me and grabbed his spray bottle and started spraying my hair and started cutting.  He wasn’t panicked at all.  I was though.  I didn’t know what to do.  I looked around me and saw the other models just staring forward like mannequins.   So I took a breath and followed suit.  Ali forget to bring the mirror in the rush so I couldn’t see what he was doing. 

I saw Alison with the camera filming and taking photos.  I cracked a smile.  Ali was in full relax mode.

The time in the category was 40 minutes and there was 8 of us in total competing.  When it got to 5 minutes left, Ali was spraying and finishing up.  Almost time for the pose.  Ali put his hand on my shoulder said, done.  And took the hairdressing gown off me.  He packed up and the official called time.

I had to strike a pose.  So I thought of Suzanne and looked over my shoulder while sitting sideways with my legs in a straight line out.  Kind of a goddess lounging look.  I struck the pose and kept a resting bitch face. 

The judges came around and started looking at our hair,  The girl next to me had a hideous hair cut.  The colour was a gorgeous turquoise colour but the hair cut.....dreadful.  Basically the hairdresser looked like she put a bowl on her head, shaved around it and then spiked up the rest of it.  She looked like a troll doll.  Her outfit was amazing though.  A yellow dress with red accessories.  (You know me and block colours!!!)

The judges pretty much got right into my face, they looked that the back, the front, and were scribbling furiously.  

All of a sudden, I got an itch on my back.  I really needed to scratch it!!!  I sat there with my resting bitch face trying not to think about it. 

Then the official announced, if anyone wants to take photos of the competitors please feel free to do so.  Shit!!  At least another 5 minutes of holding my pose!  People were coming up to me and taking photos of me.  The things is I didn’t see the cut or style that Ali did so I didn’t know what I looked like!!!  I concentrated on my breathing and then the official said, models may get up and leave the competition area.

I breathed a sigh of relief.  I got up and exited the competition area.  Lewis and Alison both gave me a massive hug.  I need a cigarette and a drink I said.  I then grabbed a mirror and saw what Ali had done.  He gave me an 80’s inspired “disco” look.  Big fringe, spikey and funky as hell!!!  With the makeup it worked so well. 

They both laughed and we went out for a smoke.   We then went to the bar and I ordered a bottle of rosé for the 3 of us.  The bartender gave us plastic cups and decantered the bottle into the 3 cups.

I felt bad because I made a pact to not drink for the month of March.   But after the stress of the last hour, fuck that shit!!!!!  So I had 1 cheeky glass of wine. 

We finished our wine and went back to the competition area.  Ali was looking at the game plan for the next 2 competitions.  We then realised that there was a slight issue.

The gents hair competition was 40 minutes and it started at 3:15.  The colour competition was on at 3:45 and that was for 40 minutes.  That means that Ali had to be in 2 places at once....oh shit.

So we asked the one of the officials for help.  They said that Ali could have a helper to take out Alison’s rollers.  And as Lewis was int eh actual competition, that means that it was down to me to take out Alison’s rollers.

Now taking rollers out of long hair isn’t as easy as you think.  There is a technique to it.  Plus when Lewis put the rollers in, he clipped them in tight with 2 bobby pins.  I had to unpin the roller and unroll it carefully all the way to the end and watch which way the curl went and make sure that the curls all go the same way. 

So Lewis and Ali were called to teh gents hair cut and blow dry category competition.  Alison and I stood in the wings getting a plan of attack on how to get her hair sorted. 

Ali was cutting Lewis’s hair with ease.  Then it came time.  Alison and I entered the competition ring and I stood behind her waiting for the official start. 

When the official said start, I started to unpin Alison’s hair.  Lewis really put the rollers in tightly.  I was doing my best to not hurt Alison and not break a nail!  Alison was a sport.  They were jammed in so tight.  I breathed a sigh of relief when Ali finished with Lewis and we both worked on getting the rollers out as quickly and as painlessly as possible.  We finally did it and I took the bag of rollers and left the competition arena. 

I decided to go to the bathroom to change as running in my stilettos was proving to be dangerous.  Ali finished Alison’s hair in record time.  He styled it into a 1960’s inspired bouffant.  Fabulous. 

When that competition was over, Lewis and Alison joined us and we watched the rest of the categories. 

I felt drained.  I checked my watch and it was 4:30.  I realized that I hadn’t eaten all day!!!!  I was starving!!!!

Then the time for the awards ceremony came up.  To summarize, we didn’t place in teh top 3, but the girl with the dreadful haircut got third.  When they went to get their award, Lewis, Alison and I at the same time were like What the fuck?

When they finished the awards they posted up the rankings.  I placed 5th out of 8th.  Lewis placed 5th out of 12 and Alison placed 4th out of 8.   At least we didn’t place last!

On the way home we discussed what was going to happen next time.  Ali wants to use me as his model for next year but we are going to plan it a bit better. 

When I finally got home, Simon cuddled me.  My phone ran out of battery and he had left me a few messages with a lot of texts.  He kissed me and held me.  I was tired, hungry  and needed an early night.

It was a fab experience.  Being fussed over was great.  I have styled my hair this morning into a cute pixie crop and Ali is going to recolour it.

But it was tiring.  No wonder models look miserable.  I mean all that running around and no time to eat?  God, I would be a cranky bitch too!!  I’ll definitely help Ali out again. 

So it has been a bit of a come down today.  But I can get back into my routine again.  Betty Rage loves a routine and I am so happy because I have an uninterrupted next few weeks.  I can’t wait to get back into my yoga and such. I have some fitness goals that I want to achieve and that will happen with good food, intense workouts and good quality sleep.  

So until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxx

Tuesday, 10 March 2015

On Memories and Unfinished Business

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!  It’s a gorgeous Tuesday morning.  I am rocking today my favourite vintage berry colour dress with a ruffled collar (it’s feeling loose....), my black peplum jacket, leopard print stilettos, my berry coloured lippy and a skull print scarf in my hair.  I rocked up today looking like Jackie O!  It was fab!!!

I am loving my hair!!! I can’t wait for my hair dress to redo the colour and clean up the edges.  It’s going to look fab!!!

As you all know I write these posts when I feel that I have something to say.  It’s therapy for me.  It’s a way for me to exorcise my demons and come to terms with everything that goes on in my life. 

Well, this past weekend, I went to the hairdresser as you know so that my hairdresser, Ali (names changed to protect the innocent!) could look at it and see if he could use my talents this weekend.

We were chatting and then I heard it. 

Last year when I was seeing Jan there was a song by Avicii that came out called Addicted to You.  This song brings back such strong memories.

That song started to play.  I instantly became quiet.  I took myself back to Jan’s apartment.

He had just cooked a meal.  A Danish feast with loads of red wine.   We just finished and he put the dishes on the side and we were sitting next to each other.  He streamed a Danish radio station from his phone and we were talking then a moment came.

You know, a moment when words do not mean anything.  That song came on.  His long fingers traced my jaw line and then my lips.  He leaned in and kissed me.  It was a kiss like no other.  A perfect, tender kiss.  I felt lightheaded, excited, turned on but a sense of sadness.  It was a moment that was like no other.  I felt like nothing else mattered and only Jan and I were in the world. 

It was that moment that I fell in love with him. 

When the kiss ended, he smiled and said shall I get more wine? 

I just nodded.  He seriously took my breath away.  That song was still playing in the background.  And now whenever I hear it, I associate that perfect moment with it.

Hearing it on Saturday brought all sorts of feelings back.  This time last year Jan I first met.   He left a massive footprint on my soul that I cannot even go into words to describe.  My little piece of perfection, a light in a messy and dark world. 

Even when we parted ways, we have still kept in touch. (Simon is aware of this)  I get the odd text from him.  He’s living in London.  I often wonder what would have happened if we had stayed together.  Would I be in London?  Would we have been happy?   What adventures would we have gone on? 

But then I remember the end.  How he was selfish, how I felt emotionally drained and I realised that I hated him for making me feel the things that I did. 

But there are times, when that song comes on, I remember that one moment of beauty.  I can still taste the wine on his lips, feel his fingers on my jaw line, tracing my lips.  The feeling that I was going to be ok and that nothing or no one else mattered.   If I could go back I would do it all again. 

I think of the last year with some fondness and sadness.  I met 2 very different men.  One, the classic sort that would take you out to the finest restaurant and then go to the opera.  He would hold the door open for you and slap your ass as you walk through.

The other, his idea of Saturday evening is wearing pajama bottoms and getting a pizza and watching Netflix.

There are pros to both.  I made my choice and I am happy with it but sometimes I get in my head did I make the right choice? 

I get these feelings when Simon is sitting on the settee playing GTA and there are dishes piled up in the sink.  Or when we are at work and he barks orders at me (I bite back).  I do think is the grass greener on the other side sometimes.

But what about watering your own grass to make it greener?   So I have been dressing a bit more feminine, instigating sex and trying to be a better girlfriend.  In return Simon has been lovely and wonderful to me.  Relationships are an equal effort deal.  You put in what you get out of it.  It's that simple.  

But I feel in my heart there are unfinished bits and pieces with Jan that I need to sort out.  One day I would like to meet up with him again.  Have dinner, share a bottle of wine and get a proper ending to that story.  I would love to have him hold me in his arms, gently swaying to that song.  Our last dance and then never hear from him ever again, relegate him to my box of cherished memories of a time when I was young crazy and single and fell in love with a dashing Danish Man. 

One day, Ragers and Ragettes, one day....

Until next time, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxx

Monday, 9 March 2015

On Betty Rage....the Model????

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  It’s Monday morning and I am trying to keep positive by wearing my favourite red, white and blue vintage dress with pussy bow collar and black belt teamed with simple black patent leather peep toes and my signature red lippy.

I am also teaming it with a very good hair cut!!  Yes, the hairdresser rectified his cutting mistake last Thursday and has given me finally the pixie crop that I wanted.  He added a sweeping fringe.  I am pleased with my hair...almost. 

But then he dropped a bombshell on me.  He looked at me and said, Betty, have you ever done any modelling before?

I said, no I haven’t.  My Mama used to model though.

He studied me and said, you know you have quite a distinct and edgy look.  This cut really suits you.  What are you doing next Sunday?

I don’t think that I am doing anything, I responded.

He then said, how would you feel about being my hair model for the competition in Blackpool next weekend?

I looked at him.  Me?  I asked.

Yes you, he said and smiled. 

Of course I would!, I said without hesitation.

Me?  Betty Rage a model?  I mean I am not a skinny size 0, I have fine, thin hair and ham arms.   I was shocked but very excited!!! 

So he gave me the details of the website and I looked at what part of the competition I would be in.  It is the Blackpool Hairdressing Competition 2015.  I’m under the Ladies Colour part of the competition.  We decided that the theme for me will be Black and Red. 

I have lined up a friend of mine to do my makeup.   And my outfit is going to be my black jumpsuit with a red waist cinching belt, my red and black Iron Fist skull printed peep toe stilettos, simple red earrings and my ring that is in the shape of red lips teamed with a red lips shaped clutch bag.  Fabulous!!!!

My hairdresser has won this competition last year so there is some pressure.

I have to go to him on Friday evening for him to do my hair colour.  I am not to wash my hair at all until Sunday. 

He needs to cut my hair at the actual competition so on Sunday my hair will be finished. 

So this week, I will be drinking a lot of water, eating super healthy to make sure that I look hot for this competition.  IT will hopefully give me the chance to get rid of the big zit on my chest.  (Please goooooo!!!)

I have been off the booze for the month of March and I think that has helped.  My tummy isn’t as bloated as it was before.  And I have been pushing it at the gym more.  I plan on strutting and owning that runway!!!!

I know that when I go there, there will be skinny bitches with gorgeous long locks and that I will get instant hair and body envy.  But my hairdresser picked me.  He picked me for my distinct look and for my hair.  I need to go with it.

The world is changing.  They put photos of plus sized model Ashley Graham in Vogue.  Skinny bitch isn’t attractive anymore. 

So when I go to Blackpool, and strut down the catwalk, I will do so with pride.  Pride in my body shape, pride in my fabulous hair but I will be flying the flag for us normal girls. 

For one day, Betty Rage will be a model!!!!

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxx

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

On a Draining Weekend

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  It’s Monday a cold, windy, miserable day.  So I am rocking a monochrome striped sweater dress, black leggings, my black ballet flats (we have a new starter and I have been running back and forth helping) and a monochrome head scarf.  My short hair poofed up behind it.  It’s a good look! 

I am sorry that it has taken me ages to write this up.  I have been seething over this past weekend and I am finally ready to release.

I met up with Rita on Saturdaty to go into Manchester to see my card reader.  My card reader is someone that I trust implicitly.  She is very sweet, genuine and lovely.  I have a lot of time for her as she is honest with me.  Rita wanted some clarity so I got her an appointment.

Anyway, the day started out with me and Simon rushing around.   We did our food shopping.  I then got back and rushed to get ready.   Rita texted me and asked where I was going to meet her.  I asked if she could meet me at Piccadilly station.  She texted back and that she didn’t know where that was.  So I ended up compromising and I decided to meet her at Manchester Oxford Road.  I don’t know that area too well either. 

I drove to the train station and parked up, got my ticket and made my way into Manchester.  I got off at Oxford Road and had the job of trying to find her.

I found her in McDonald’s....with her 4 year old son.

Now, I don’t have an issue with children, Ragers and Ragettes.  But bringing your 4 year old son for a girlie day?  Ermmmm.......yeah.

So we caught a cab to where my card reader was.  She went in first, leaving me with the child.  That was awkward.  I sat with him trying to keep him occupied by playing eye-spy or 20 questions.  I pretended to be the tickle monster.  He shrieked with joy!

Finally Rita finished and I had my reading.  I do not disclose my readings, they are private. 

After the readings I wanted a tattoo.  So I booked in for a small tattoo at 2pm.  We had some time to spare so we went on the big wheel overlooking Manchester.

The whole time, in front of her child who is 4 and is able to speak, she decided to talk non-stop about the situation with Jeff, the man that she is cheating on her boyfriend (and the child’s father) with.    She was openly speaking to him all the while the child was screaming, Mummy!!!!  Mummy!!!  She would say, shush and continue chatting about Jeff. 

I was shocked.  From the time that we got out of the card reader’s to the time that I got my tattoo (I opted for a little heart on my ring finger, it hurt like a bitch but the results, especially with my long nails, looks amazing!!) all I heard was Jeff, this and Jeff that.  She passed her phone to me as the messages came in, what does that mean?

It means that he was just using you for sex and that he wants to be with his girlfriend.  Not you.  It means that you don’t need to cheat.  If you are unhappy.  Leave!!!!! 

I will admit.  In the past, I have cheated in the past and it came to bite me in the ass royally....several times.   It simply isn’t worth it. 

As we walked to Debenhams, she was still going on about it.  I just smiled and kept quiet....not because I was ok with what she was doing but because the child was there.  I didn’t want him to process the thought that his mummy was a slag. 

I ended up with a gorgeous new Carvela Oversized handbag and a new shade of lippy.

I found a cult brand, Too Faced, and I have wanted to try their products for ages.  Debenhams were having a sale so I chose a new lippy.  They are called Melted Lipstick so they are not a lip stick but they are not a lip gloss either.  Kind of in between.  The shade I chose was called Melted Candy.  It is different to my normal red/ruby shade of lippy that I go for.  It is a bright pink colour. I figured that I need to try new things.  Plus we are all going out on Friday for work and I am going to debut my Melted Candy lips.  I have even painted my toes bright pink.  Let’s see how it goes!!!

Anywho, we went to my favourite wine bar (The Hanging Ditch) and she kept rabbiting on about Jeff.  Pushing her phone in my face asking what does this mean????  Her child was sitting with us the whole time!!!!  Kids are not stupid!!!!!

It was time to say goodbye.  I got to the train station and she went to get her car.

I sat on the platform thinking about the day.  Rita when I first met her was lovely and sweet.   She is stunningly beautiful.  She is funny, the right mixture of tomboyishness and girlieness that I like.  (That I think that I am).  She was thoughtful, sweet, kind, and when I lost my job 2 years ago, she was my rock.  She visited me, took me out and genuinely cared for me. 

Now I have seen a side to her that is not pleasant.   She is destroying her life.  Not, only that, she is fucking up her child’s life.  That’s not fair.  I thought this over as I lit a cigarette.  What caused this change?  Why has Rita become this woman?

My train pulled in and I got up and got on the train.  As the doors closed I realised that I left my shopping bag on the train platform.  The train pulled away.  Noooooooooooooooooooooo!   I mentally screamed.

In that bag was my gorgeous Carvela Bag, my new lippy, some hair products (for my new do) and embarrassingly enough, constipation medication.  Yes, I felt like an ass. 

I googled Oxford road train station and managed to get through to an gentleman who said that he found the bag and would put it on the next train down.  I need to call him at 4:45 and it would go on the 4:58 train. 

I called Simon and explained what happened.  He laughed and said that I should stay near the train station.  So I went into the dodgy pub next to the train station.  I got a glass of wine and waited.  The battery on my phone was dying.  Not even the site of 22 big thighed men on the TV (Rugby) could calm me down (and trust me, there is nothing that I love more than rugby men!).  At 4:45 I called back.  The Guy at the station said that he couldn’t promise me that it would happen.  He took my number and said that he would call back.  I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.  I wanted my cute handbag, I wanted to wear the lippy for Friday....crap!  The constipation medicine!!!  I felt like an idiot. 

A minute later I got a phone call.  It was the guy I spoke to.  He said that he handed the bag to his colleague who handed it to the conductor and it would be on the next rain back.  I almost jumped up and did a happy dance.   I had to wait another half hour though. 

When it was time, the train pulled in and I saw the conductor get off. 

Do you have a bag for me?  I asked sheepishly.

What is your name, he asked.

Betty Rage, Sir, I replied.

He smiled and said, why I think I do.

He handed my bag over.  I smiled and walked back to my car in the rain.  I got into my car and checked my bag.  Yup!  Everything was accounted for.

I smiled and drove off.  But my smile was short lived.  I couldn’t stop thinking about Rita and her situation.

I knew that she was a dumbass for cheating but seeing that the real loser in all this, her child, made me feel angry.  That little kid hears, sees, and feels the same anxiety that his mum does.  He isn’t stupid.  He is going to talk to his daddy one day about this.  About how he met Uncle Jeff and played football with him and how he likes Uncle Jeff.  What will happen to that little boy then?

I also feel drained after seeing her.  The bad thing is that she is coming on our work’s night out because the lads at work love her.  They see the side that I love.  The happy go lucky side.  They don’t see the part that I have been seeing. 

So Ragers and Ragettes, I sit here my head a mess.  Do I even need this sort of person in my life? 

There is a famous saying that goes, Everyone has baggage.  I need someone to help me unload mine instead of adding to it.

So I think that I am going to stay far away.  Be polite but I am not investing anymore time in this.  On Friday?  I will tell her that it is a strictly no Jeff Zone.  Just go out and have fun.  She will be too busy flirting with the lads anyway.

So there you go.  We will get through it!

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!!

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxx