Wednesday, 30 April 2014

On The Wonder that is Simon

Hi Ragers and Ragettes!  With this post I will have to put a disclaimer on...This post might cause nausea due to the extreme soppiness and the romantic sludge that is about to follow.

Well, after I stood my ground with my old job I have officially left.  So yesterday I just amused myself.  I cleaned up Rage Towers.  It was a gorgeous day and I was driving up to St Helens to see my Simon.  I put my floral maxi dress on, my old black sandals and finished the outfit with my Oliver Peoples sunglasses.  Fab!

I decided to get my nails done.  I haven’t had them done for months.  I usually get long acrylic tips.  But today I opted for mid length painted scarlet of course!!  I felt like Betty was being reborn and that I was coming of age. 

When she finished, I went to the shop to purchase a bottle of Persecco.  I wanted to celebrate that I was free.  But emergency hit......

My sandal strap broke!!!  Yes, Ragers and Ragettes, this was a true shoe emergency!!  So what’s a girl to do?  Go and buy another pair, of course.

I knew an industrial park that was close to where Simon lives so I drove down from Manchester to St. Helens and hobbled in (It’s hard to walk in with a broken sandal!!) and picked out some fab cute black gladiator sandals with gold studs.  Very versatile.

I then signed up at my new gym (across from where my new job is) and then headed to Simon’s home.  It felt great to drop the top on my little car and to feel the wind in my hair.
I arrived to Simon’s mum and I gave her a massive cuddle.  She is so lovely and so caring.  I am truly lucky to have picked a guy with great parents.

Now we are going to get mushy.  So sickbags at the ready, Ragers and Ragettes.

Simon is the most amazing man I have ever been with.  When I first met Jan, I thought that he was the one.  He is good looking, classy, sexy and has a massive cock.  I mean huge!!  But I never felt comfortable with him.  I felt that I always had to look perfect and be perfect.  I couldn’t cope with that.  I put Jan on a pedestal but as you know from my previous posts, he fell off that pedestal by being an inconsiderate arse.
But Simon....

Simon accepts me for who I am.  He is human and I don’t always have to have a full face of make up or the perfect hair. (I do try to for my own pride)  I can eat, drink, swear, and be myself.  The best time with Simon is when we are laying in bed and he is holding me tightly.  I feel like nothing can or will hurt me.  I feel safe, cared for, and like nothing else in the world matters.

He’s hard working.  He’s passionate about his job and the fact that he trusts me to take part in me that says it all.  He is trusting me to take care of his livelihood.  This is his future and he sees me in it.
He’s passionate....he’s an amazing lover.  He knows how to kiss, touch,’s like magic, I swear.   And yes, he is very blessed in the trouser department.  He knows how to use it, too.  He’s a considerate lover too.  He takes care of my needs first.  In fact he takes care of them at least 4 or 5 times before his needs are met. 

He’s tactile and loving.  He always holds my hand, kisses me.  He always tells me that I am beautiful. And when I am with him, I feel beautiful.

He’s a gentleman.  He always opens, doors and when he drives me somewhere, he will get up and open the car door for me.  He always offers to pay for everything and will object if I try to. 

I have hit the jackpot with Simon.  I know I have.  I am the happiest I have been for ages.  I am starting to fall for him...big time. I am enjoying the time that we are spending together.

Reading this back, it quite soppy and quite cheesy but I think of Suzanne.  She shouts her love for Rick off every mountain top and I have to admit, I am doing the same.  I am just so happy to be with him.


Anywho, have a have day, Ragers and Ragettes.  Stay fabulous!

Lots of Love

Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxx

Tuesday, 29 April 2014

On Betty's Breaking Point and Single No More?

Hi Ragers and Ragettes! What a crazy few days it's been! I'm so sorry for the lack of posts!

Well, let me recap what has happened.

Thursday night I met up with Laura, Laura's boyfriend and Dan. We ended up going to the darts (yes, I know....classy!! But it was a fab night out!!). It was a bit....ermm....intoxicating shall we say. But it was a fab night out and a laugh.

On Friday morning, I got up and drove down to St. Helen's to work with Simon. I was beyond excited. And with the debaucle with Jan, I am pretty sure that I have made the right choice. As I drove down, I sang along to the radio, so happy. I was excited to get stuck into the job. Plus I needed to get my exhaust sorted on my little car.

I arrived at the warehouse and Simon was sitting on the bench in front of the warehouse sipping coffee. When I pulled in, he smiled and approached the car. He opened my door for me and kissed me. I got out of the car and wrapped my arms around him. I breathed in his scent and felt instantly happy.

He took me to his friend and he looked at my poor little car and got a new exhaust sorted for £114. Ouch!!

We went back to the warehouse and got stuck in. I met the 2 warehouse lads, they seem nice, and I sat with him.

Simon and I worked together very professionally. Honestly. There was no touching, kissing or anyhting like that. He takes his company so seriously. And his enthusiasm and passion for the job was infectious. I felt so happy and fulfilled. My skills that I had built up were actually being used!

The time flew by and soon before you know it, 5pm came around. He said goodbye to the warehouse lads, locked up and he walked over to me and grabbed me. He pushed me against the door and kissed me. My body wanted him. I needed him so badly.

He looked at me and said, you're so beautiful. I smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips. He took my hand and we went to his car and headed back to his. We were going to go out for a drink...back to the same pub where we had our first date. We snuggled in and chatted and had a laugh. I looked at him, and Ragers and heart softened. I needed him. I knew it. I then took my phone out and said I'm making this official. I logged onto the old Facebook and he did the same. We then did it. We are now officially a couple! And Ragers and Ragettes...I haven't been happier!

We got home from the pub and snuggled and fell asleep in each other's arms.

We had a great weekend together. He met Suzanne and I met his best friend, Kirsty. I think I passed that test!!! And he passed the Suzanne test.

You know, the beautiful Suzanne always talks about her man, Rick, and sometimes it makes me gag. No disrespect to her, I haven't had that sort of love in my life. Suzanne loves Rick and Rick loves Suzanne. It's a strong love and she gets mushy sometimes. But now I understand. I totally get it. Suzanne, I'm sorry for gagging at your romantic messages. I am with you on this!! I honestly think that I am falling for Simon.

Then I drove home on the Sunday feeling deflated. I was going to meet the sexy Pete for a drink on the sunday and you know what? I didn't actually care. Dan came along because we were going to
watch the football match with Pete. I went through the motions when I met up with Pete. I smiled at the right time and laughed at the right things. I just wanted Simon.

We lost the match but I didn't care. Dan and I walked to the train station and were chatting. I started to get upset. My heart was racing. I looked at Dan and said, I cannot do this anymore.

He looked at me and said, what do you mean?

I broke down and cried so hard. Dan put his arm around me. I just sobbed. I had reached my breaking point. The thought of doing that drive into work and deal with the traffic, have the fake smile and say all the right things at the right time. I hated that thought so much.

Ragers and Ragettes...I couldn't bear the thought of going to work. I wanted to be with Simon. At my current job I am just a glorified pencil pusher. On Friday, I saw a world of me fulfilling my potential with people who want to do well and work hard. Dan looked at me and said, go to the doctor and get yourself signed off for the week. I have never done that sort of thing before. I felt bad about it but I would have felt worse dragging myself heart isn't in it. I wouldn't have given my all.

So I made the decision. I decided to call in sick and get signed off....heaven help me!! I texted Suzanne and told her everything and she backed me 100%. I asked her to get my things from my desk and she kindly said that she would.

I called Simon straight away and I told him my feelings. He totally backed me. So I went to bed feeling a bit better.

I woke up the next morning, took a deep breath and called the HR department. I spoke to the HR woman (we get along well) and I was honest with her. She was totally lovely and supportive. I then called the doctor and got an appointment for 2:40. I then called Simon and told him everything.

We agreed that I would start working for him on Wednesday. He said that he would pay me on Friday for those cash.

I received a call from my manager and a snotty text from one of the girls in my department. None of
them asking if I was ok. None of them caring. I knew that I made the right choice.

I went to the doctors and told her the truth. She signed me off without hesitation and I walked out feeling like it was going to be ok. For the first time, everything was going to work out fine.

I got home and cleaned Rage Towers happily. My laundry got done, my room got cleaned up and I felt like everything was going to be ok. Simon was going to come up tonight for dinner so I bought some steaks. (It's the only thing I can cook!!!)

I put on my black strapless floral maxi dress and dyed my hair back to it's Betty Rage colour. I felt human and happy.

Simon arrived and I took him out for a drink. We chatted, kissed and I felt so happy. I really did. I know that there are going to be bumps in the road along the way. I know that the course of true love will not run smooth but I am not thinking about it. I am going along with it.

Ragers and Ragettes. Listen to your instincts. When you hit your breaking point, sometimes you need to back away. Yes you might ruffle a few feathers, but who cares? Honestly. Your sanity is far more important. You need to take care of yourself.

So I am getting ready to go to Simon's. With the money that I am getting on Friday, I will have a cushion. So I am going to get my nails done, go to my new gym and sign up and strut in looking the business.

Watch out, World. Betty's back in town!!!

Lots of love,

Betty Rage xxxxxx

Thursday, 24 April 2014

On the Move: Part 2

Hello Ragers and Ragettes!  I see that I have some new followers, from Moldova and from China!  Thank you actually to all my readers.  I really appreciate you taking the time to read my thoughts and about my crazy life.  Please feel free to leave comments.  And if you want to suggest any blogs of interest, please let me know!
Well after a hard day’s work yesterday, my body was aching and I was tired and looking rough, I was driving home (that exhaust is really loud and really annoying!!) and I got a text from Jan saying that he will help me put together my new bed but he needs some help first.  I got in, threw on my jeans, a turquoise vest and a navy hoodie and my trainers and got into my little car and drove around.  I found him putting a load of broken up furniture into the van he rented.  My back started to ache just looking at it.  He looked at me and walked over and hugged me hard.  Thank you for coming he said, he kissed me quickly on the lips.
We started to load the van up again.  The plan was to go to the dump in the van and then go back to the van place and drop the van off and then back to mine to assemble the bed.
Well, on the way to the dump, I lost him as I was following him.  Luckily I had the sense to have written the post code down and I managed to find him as he was finishing.  I wasn’t best pleased.  I got out of my car, he smiled that cheeky smile and said almost finished. Usually that smile would have made me feel all warm and tingly inside….now I just wanted to kick him in the nuts!  Hard.
He then got into the van and said now we go to the van place and drop this off.
I got into my little car with the dodgy exhaust and I followed him.  He got lost on the way which was bad as my petrol gauge beeped saying that I only had 40 miles to go until my petrol tank was empty.  This Dane was driving me crazy!!!!
We got to the van depot.  He dropped it off and got into my little car and drove back to Rage Towers.  We got in and I opened a beer up and glugged it down.  Feminine?  Nope. Did I care?  Did I fuck?
Jan then laid down on the settee saying that his back was sore.  My beautiful quirky flat was a mess.  I had enough.  So I started to project my anger on disassembling my old bed.  And Jan laid there on the settee watching football drinking beer. 
I used my frustration well.  I ripped that thing to pieces.  I put them in the hallway along with the mattress and then started to assemble the new bed.  Jan got up and looked at what I was doing and started to help.  We got the bed assembled in about a half an hour. He then said that he wanted a shower.  He got into the shower and I started to take my old bed and mattress down from the 3rd floor to the waste unit down on the ground floor of the premises.
I grunted and pulled this big mattress down the hallway and I tried to fit it into the lift….the mattress was too big!!  So I ended up lugging that thing down the stairs….alone.  My back, arms and shoulders are sore!!  Then when I got back up, Jan was laying on the settee wearing only a pair of white Calvin Klein boxers….his big cock bulging through…my heart fluttered.  He is a pain in the arse but…..damn!!!!! 
I put my eyes back in my head and grabbed the metal frame for my bed.  He looked up with those big baby blues, do you need help, Miss?  My back is so sore!
I gave him the Goddess eyebrow (thank you Elena!!) and I continued to take the metal frames out, down 3 flights and to the refuse bin.
I finished and when I got back into my flat, I looked at him and said, I am getting into the shower.  I needed it!!!  My whole body was aching badly!!! 
When I finished my shower there was 20 minutes of the football left.  I sat behind him and he laid back on my breasts.  He took my hand and  started kissing it.  He then looked at me sheepishly, Miss, my hand hurts.
I got up and got my Palmer Cocoa Butter lotion and cuticle oil.  I gave him a hand massage and he closed his eyes and moaned in pleasure.   I smiled and bit my lip.  He leaned up and kissed me softly.  I could taste the beer on his lips.
The match ended and we were both tired so we went into the new bed.  He wrapped his arms around me and said, thank you miss. He kissed me deeply.  I then rested my head on his chest and fell asleep.
I woke up and looked over at Jan.  He was sleeping like an angel.  I got up and weighed myself and all the shifting of furniture and such I lost 2 pounds!  Get in!!!  I popped into the shower.  When I finished he was already dressing.  I looked at him.  He was so good looking.  Very, very, very good looking. The only thing I felt for him was lust.  He walked over to me and kissed me.  I need to get going, he said.  The cleaners are coming for my apartment.  He put his fingers through my wet hair.  Thank you he said again.  I kissed him gently and saw him out.
I closed the door and decided to get ready for work.  I opted for my vintage scarlet red dress with the embellished neckline and my leopard print velour peep toe shoes and my black cardi.  I did my make up and hair and strutted into work.
My manager is going on holiday tomorrow so today was my last day working with her.  She came over to me and gave me a lovely red bag.  I hugged her and opened it.  Inside was a mug decorated with shoes.  A bottle of Italian red wine and….2 things of Danish cheese. Inside was a card.  She wrote, I know how much you like Danish things.  After last night I could have thrown that cheese at her!!!   I was touched.  It was the loveliest thing ever. She’s such a sweetie.  I will miss her.
Then the lovely Suzanne gave me a proposition.
I am totally one hundred per cent camera phobic.  I hate having my picture taken because I once had my photo taken by a so called friend that was a bit racy and I asked for the negatives/print but she refused to give them back.  Ever since then I have hated having my photo taken.
Suzanne is mad into photography and she asked me to help her with a project.  She is going to take a photo a week of me over a year.  They are going to be all sorts of photos. We agreed on no bare nipple shots or bare shots of down below.  I will be paid for each session and if I want to buy any prints I will pay for them and if she enters one of my pictures into a competition and wins, we split the money 50/50.  I want to get over my camera phobia and as you all know I trust Suzanne implicitly.  I’m excited!  We start on the 1st of June.
Tonight I am out at the darts (yes classy!!!) with Laura, her boyfriend and my good old friend Dan (I promise, I will tell you that story one day!!) for a laugh.  Then I am off tomorrow and I will be going down to work with Simon for the day and spend the weekend with him.  I can’t wait!
Then on Sunday I am meeting sexy Peter for a beer and to watch the football.  I will have to behave myself….
So what have I learned from the last 24 hours?
Painfully good looking men are most of the time a pain in the arse. 
Sometimes when you say yes to other people, you are actually saying no to yourself.
Wine is the best gift ever!  But Danish cheese isn’t….especially when dealing with a sexy pain in the arse Dane!
You need to get over your silly phobias….you never know what doors will open
And finally…there is nothing more exciting than knowing that you’re going to see and spend a great weekend with a very good, very caring man.
Ragers and Ragettes?  I am in heaven….
Until next time, stay fabulous!
Lots of love,
Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxx

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

On Helping Out and Figuring Out Who I Want

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!  I am so sorry about the lack of post last night but my night took a turn from what I had planned.  I had a post all written out but it wasn’t too good, and I want to give you all the best from me!
Yesterday was a hard day.  After the amazing weekend I had with Simon and his lovely family it was a struggle to pull myself in.  Plus the lovely Suzanne wasn’t in work either. Boo. 
I managed to get through the day.  It was difficult but I did it.  As I was driving home, I was almost pulling up in front of Rage Towers, I received a text from Jan.  “Miss, I need your help.”  That stopped me in my tracks.  I pulled up in my parking spot and texted him back. “I’ll be around in 20.”
Now as my monthly friend came around I wasn’t feeling too attractive, even though I rocked my funky geometric dress, my black patent leather peep toes and my velour blazer and the obligatory red lips.  I just decided on throwing on my grey yoga pants, white vest, trainers and denim jacket.  I walked to his flat in record time. 
When I got to his flat, he looked tired.  Really, really tired.  He had dark circles under his eyes, his usually clean shaven face had at least 3 days stubble.  For once around him, I didn’t feel inadequate.  He wrapped his arms around me and put his head in my neck.  I held him close to me breathed him in.  I need help, he said. 
There were piles of stuff, boxes everywhere and it was a mess.  I looked around and said, right.  Let’s get this sorted. 
Being so far away from home, I know how it feels to have to do something like this in a strange place with no support or help.  My heart went out to him and the thought of anyone being in that position, feeling the same feelings of helplessness really breaks my heart.
We decided to rent a van and get all the stuff we possibly could to his new room in the new flat.  He hopped in my car and we drove to the van rental place in Manchester.  On the way there, a funny noise started up in my car.  I panicked a bit.
Jan got his transit van and I followed him back to his flat and the noise in my car was still going.  I got back to Rage Towers and checked it.  It looks like my little car has a problem with the exhaust.
I stood there and tears started to flow down my face.  I couldn’t stop them.  I felt so alone, so far away from my parents and my family.  Another thought crossed my mind.  I wanted Simon.  I wanted a cuddle, to feel his arms around me.  His hands running through my hair.  I didn’t want it.  I needed it.  Before I knew it I was walking to Jan’s and dialling Simon’s number.  The tears kept coming.  He answered.
I just started to blubber on.  I told him my exhaust went.  I told him that I was scared and alone.  I told him that I missed him.  Missed his family.  Missed his bed.  Missed his dogs.  I needed him.  I just couldn’t stop.  All these words spilled out.  I was crying so hard.  I felt like the biggest pussy in the world. 
He calmed me down and said we are seeing each other on Friday.  It will be ok Betty.  Do you want me to come up to you? 
No, I replied.  I just wanted to hear his voice.  I didn’t want him to see me like this.  I pulled myself together.  Wiped my tears away and assured him that I was ok.
I got to Jan’s and started to help him fill the van.  When the van was filled, he held me close.  It didn’t feel right. 
We got into the van and drove to his new flat and started to unload. 
It was a lovely building in a very trendy and up and coming part of Manchester.  The sort of place that yours truly would love.  His new room was very small.  And he was losing his independence.  I looked at Jan and my heart went out to him.  He looked really down. 
We got all of his stuff into the apartment.  He then started to drive back to his flat.  He looked at me and said, now Betty, we take your new bed to your flat.  I smiled.  He took my hand. I felt nothing.
We got to his flat and we took the mattress with great difficulty to the van and then started loading the rest in the van. 
We finally got back to mine and unloaded the van into Rage Towers.  We put all the pieces in my little flat and now Rage Towers looks like the bed fairy threw up everywhere!! 
We sat down, I poured a glass of coke for him and we turned on the football and watched the last 10 minutes of the match.  I sat on the settee and he laid back, put his head in between my breasts.  I instinctively put my hand on his chest and he started to kiss my arm. 
When the match was over, he got up and said, Miss I’m hungry.  I want to get something to eat.
Now, as you are all aware it’s 3 more days until payday.  And only have 50p in my purse. That’s it. 50p. Nothing else.  I took care of my petrol and I have some food in the fridge and the thought of having a pizza or a takeaway appealed to me so much.  I would have killed for it.  And because my monthly friend was here I would have killed for it!!
He asked if I wanted to something to eat.  I smiled and said no.  Yes, Ragers and Ragettes, I turned down a takeaway.  Why you may ask?
I was skint and I felt bad about taking things off people as Jan had paid for quite a bit for me on our last meetings.   Plus I was feeling bloated and fat from my monthly visitor. 
I got into my car with Jan and drove to the takeaway.  He ordered a kebab (my favourite) and a serving of chips.  (I could take or leave)
We got back to Rage Towers and he started to tuck in.  The kebab smelled amazing.  I poured a glass of wine and pretended not to care.
While he was tucking into the kebab, I took the whole situation in.  There was this sexy, tall Danish man who had perfectly sculpted cheekbones, big blue eyes, long eyelashes, dark hair, a fab body, a sexy accent, a massive cock and…..I didn’t desire him.  Not one bit.  I sipped my wine and closed my eyes…Simon.  That’s who I saw.  Simon.
He ate half his kebab and I put the rest in a Tupperware tub and in my bare fridge.  It was late and he stripped off and I got myself sorted and ready for bed.  I laid down next to him. He put his arm around my waist and I drifted off.
I woke up this morning and Jan looked like a sleeping angel.  I instinctively kissed his forehead and stroked his hair.  He was so good looking but my heart….it wasn’t there. This man was sweet but I just didn’t feel it.  I got up, showered and put the most unattractive knickers on (it’s that time of the month!!!  Give a girl a break!!!)  and slipped on my purple/grey/fuchsia wrap around dress.
He got up and wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me.  It felt forced on both sides.  I think that this has naturally come to an end.  I will always want to be Jan’s friend, I think but I don’t think that I can have the feelings that I have for Simon.
So I got into work, and the lovely Suzanne gave me a much needed cuddle.  I emailed Simon at his work email address.  I just needed him to know that I missed him.  He texted me and I felt better instantly.
My heart isn’t into my work now.  I have to make it through 6 more days.  I think that people can see that I can’t be arsed.  I am just doing the bare minimum…doing menial spreadsheet work.  It’s ok, it’s keeping my head and mind off of the whole situation.
I am just playing the game.  That’s all that this is.  A game.
But there are a few bright spots.  Suzanne, of course.  My sanity.  She’s my angel.  She makes sure that I am ok and I look out for her.  I love the bones of that woman.  And when I leave, my heart will break a bit because I won’t see her beautiful smile every day or get my cuddle that means so much to me.
Then Peter….sexy, sweet, lovely Peter.  He is a good man.  He’s married; he has his 2 beautiful children.  And he wants to watch the big match this weekend at his local pub.  He gave me his number….swoon!!!!!!  I know that nothing could or would ever happen between us but a girl can dream, can’t she?
But I do have some dreaming to do of my own.  Simon, my darling Simon.  Catch me if you can, I’m falling for you….
Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, please stay fabulous!
Lots of Love
Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxx

Monday, 21 April 2014

On An Interesting Long Weekend, Taking Care of Your Man and Betty the Culinary Genius?

Well, the long weekend is almost over, Ragers and Ragettes. I must admit, I've got the blues majorly.

It was such an interesting, strange, weird weekend in that I went into it thinking I knew it all but my perception has totally changed.

After Simon and I left the warehouse yesterday we went back to his parents home. We got in and Simon's mum handed me a glass of red wine. Wow, fabulous! Simon went out to see his dad and that have me time with Simon's mum. She'd and I had an honest chat. She loves her son is much and I am touched what a loving family they are. We continued to chat and before I knew it I drunk almost a full bottle of wine. Eeeeekkkk!!

Simon's mum hugged me and we joined Simon and his dad out in the little wooden cabin. Simon phoned for a pizza.

The time passed so quickly and the conversation flowed nicely. And before you know it the pizzas arrived. We ate and still chatted. I was warming to Simon's family. We seemed to click. And one thing I learned in regards to dating and being with so done is that not only do you take on a person as a partner but you take their family on also. They have 2 dogs and they were even cool. And Simon's family? They are quite liberal. They drink, they've been to Amsterdam and partook in the coffee shop casual ganja smoking....I have done that I must've got to try it! They are good people though.

Simon's mum looked at Simon and I holding hands and said I'll leave you both to it. She leaned in for a kiss and cuddle which I happily gave her. I hugged his dad too. I smiled. This is something I could be part of happily. Simon and I were left done in the cabin.

Once Simon's parents were gone he leaned in and kissed me...hard. I kissed him back. He looked into my eyes, Betty I'm so happy. Thank you.

I looked into his eyes. He took my face in his hands. I said thank you Simon. Thank you for taking a chance on me. He leaned down and kissed me. This kiss was different. My body tingled. His hand slid down my throat.

After the kiss, he poured me more wine and we started talking business. He actually has a lot of different little businesses. And then he told me the two things that made me a very happy womsn. Simon has 2 other websites. One is a sex toy/kinky website....yes, vibrators and sexy lingerie galore!!! And he also has...a high end cosmetic website...Ragers and Ragettes, Simon told me, Betty, you'll never pay full price for your cosmetics ever again...a dream come true!!! Once I sort out his main business, he's going to let me loose on those 2 sites....I will be in charge of buying high end cosmetics and sex toys and sexy lingerie!!!!Life now seems brighter...

The fire died out and Simon took my hand and we went to his room. I kissed him and got my stuff to get cleaned up and put another half a roll of toilet paper up myself....fucking Mother Nature!!!!

We snuggled into bed and watched a film. It was a crap film but we weren't really watching it. I rested my head on his chest and he gently ran his fingers up and down my spine. I felt so content.

The film ended and we both were tired. So we fell asleep in each other's arms.

In the morning I double checked that Mother Nature didn't leave an embarrassing surprise on Simon's white sheets. Clean. Simon knew obviously that the pitch wasn't playable so he decided to make me aroused by rubbing and licking my nipples. Bastard. That's the one way to set me off. So I decided that I would give him some pleasure.

I pulled his boxers down and started to go down on him.  I looked up at him and he looked really uncomfortable. I stopped and asked if I was doing something wrong. He looked at me and said, I don't know.

What do you mean? I asked. Erm, a girl has never gone down on me before.

What. The. Fuck. I know he had 6 girlfriends prior to me. And none of them went down on him?  Ok, Ragettes....I am confused. When you are with your man, surely that time of the month you give your man some oral lovin'? I mean Simon does that to me, surely a woman must return the favour? Am I wrong in thinking that this is wrong?

I didn't realise that I was dealing with an oral Virgin. So I changed my tactic. He continued to look uncomfortable. He started to apologise. I assured him that he was ok, and that it will be ok. So that's a project for me to work on. I held him in my arms and he buried his head in my chest. I rubbed his back. I looked at the time and sadly realised that I had to leave. I actually felt sad.

I got myself cleaned up and said my goodbyes to Simon's parents, his 2 adorable dogs and Simon and I kissed. He tucked my hair behind my ears. Going to miss you Betty, he whispered. Going to miss you Simon, I gently kissed him. He stepped away, I waved and drove off back to Manchester.

Jan texted me and told me he went out on the lash the night before and missed his flight home from Copenhagen. Today I was supposed to get my new bed assembled. He asked if we could assemble it at mine tomorrow and I agreed we could.

I got back to Rage Towers and with Jan's change of plans I knew that I could get a few things done. I had to make a decision on what to spend my last tenner until  Friday on. Food or petrol? Luckily I had some money on my Nectar card and a few quid on my debit card so I got enough petrol to last me until Friday and I got a few things for food for the week. I have 2 boxes of macaroni and cheese so I thought I'd make that and I can make a few servings but I realised that I had no butter. Nice! So I decided to attempt to make chilli.

I bought the ingredients to make chilli weeks ago but never got around to it. Well, I sucked it up, I pulled the recipe out and started to make it.

I didn't know what pan to use so I took out a big pot and put the onions and garlic in there to cook as per the instructions....they cooked a bit too quickly!! So I transferred them into a frying pan. I put the rest of the ingredients in and hoped for the best. I started to cook some rice. I took my mama's advice and thickened it up with a little flour. I tasted it to see if I needed to season it more. I took out some seasoning salt tapped some in and then some smoked paprika. I tapped some in but dine became a massive amount. Ouch! I stirred it and hoped for the best! And you know what, Ragers and Ragettes? My chilli wasn't too bad!!! It's a bit smokey with the excessive smoked paprika but it was ok!!! Plus I have enough to for 4 more meals and it's healthy, I didn't put beans in it so it must be less than the recipe indication of 387 calories. I grated a bit of cheese on top and it was decent! That probably added the calories back!

Jan texted me saying he bought us some nibbles from Denmark to sample after moving the bed. I smiled and thanked him. How did I feel about seeing Jan? I don't know.

So here I am watching the football digesting everything that happened this weekend. My life is changing and I think I have made my decision on who I want.

All I know is that I have a 3 day working week, I'm off on Friday and next week 5 more days, so 8 more working days. Everything now feels real. I feel like I have created the future I have always wanted and that's a tad scary. When you have wanted something for such a long time and you finally receive it, it can really mess with your head.

So I am going to take this day by day and just go with it, that's all I can do.

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, stay fabulous!!!

Lots of love

Betty Rage xxxxxx

Sunday, 20 April 2014

On An Eventful Easter Weekend

Happy Easter, Ragers and Ragettes!!!

This Easter break has proven to be very interesting.  It started off on Thursday night.  Jan* was having a bit of a hard time.  He was upset that he didn’t get the job that we wrote the application for.  I zoomed straight from work and to his apartment.  I found him with an ashtray full of cigarette butts and empty beer bottles.  I cuddled him and held him close to me.  I felt his breath on my cheek.  He lit me a cigaette and I took a drag.  I needed it, it had been a tough week.  He started to tell me how upset he was at work.  How he felt hard done by...I found myself zoning out and studying his face.  His long eyelashes, his big blue eyes.  His cheekbones.  I nodded and mmmmmm’d and awww’d.  He kept going on and I found myself bored.  What happened?  This was the man that I was crying my heart out for....his beautiful looks, his toned and perfect body...I had worked myself into such a frenzy...I made myself sick over him.  And here I was, him ranting and I wasn’t caring.  Did I talk myself out of wanting him?  It was strange.  Really strange.

He was moving to a new flat having a flatshare with a girl from his work.  So instead of a big flat he will be going to a small room.  So he was getting rid of a few things.  My bed in Rage Towers is cheap and the mattress is horrible.  Jan has a bed in the spare room that hasn’t been used at all so he said I could have it.  We decided to get some food and I we started to disassemble it together.  We got it into pieces and were waiting for our food.  Jan lit another cigarette for me and took one himself.  I got 2 more bottles of beer.  The food finally came and we tucked in.

After we finished dinner, we cleared the plates and went up to bed. I realised that as I was wearing my sexiest body con dress, I was wearing my sucking in knickers to get rid of the lumps and bumps...eeeeekkkk!!!  I sprinted to the bathroom with my bag and took my sucking in knickers off and put them in my bag.  I need to invest in sexier sucking in underwear....

We got into bed and he rested his head on my bare breasts.  He fell asleep instantly.  I nodded off too.
I woke up to the sun coming up.  It was such a gorgeous site.  I got out of Jan’s bed and watched the sky change colours.  Things seemed so perfect, so serene.  I felt Jan’s lips on my neck his hands slipped onto my hips.  Come to bed Miss, he whispered. 

The orgasm was intense and I came screaming his name which turned him on even more.  He then got up and I put my dress on.  He was going back to Copenhagen for the break.  So he had to pack.  On the Monday I was going to meet him again and get the bed back to mine and assembled.  We kissed and I went back to my car and sped home.

This weekend I was going to St. Helen’s to see my friends and spend the weekend with Simon.
So I got into the shower and threw my clothes in my bag.  And sped down the motorway to St. Helens.  We had tickets to the rugby.  I don’t understand rugby I just like to perv over a bunch of tattooed guys wearing short, tight shorts.
I was going to stay with Dan.  Dan and I go way back.  Our history is complicated but it’s best that I discuss that at another point.  We always meet up with the Merseyside crew (12 of us all together) on Good Friday to watch the rugby.  The centre of the group is a guy named Sam.  Sam is dating a woman named Jo and she has a son named Mark.  On the outside they look like a happy, healthy normal couple.  But behind closed doors there is a lot of disfunctionality.  It’s sad really. 

Anyway, our team lost so we went to the pub after for a few beers.  The tension was building around Sam, Jo and Mark.  Oh dear.  Something was going to go down.  It was like the calm before the storm.  I could feel it. 

We got to the restaurant and sat down and we were laughing and enjoying ourselves.  Mark piped up, I have lost my phone.  (Mark’s phone was a very expensive phone...£800)  Sam got up to try and find the phone.  He was trying to retrace the steps.  He came back and Jo said, oh well, looks like we will have to shell out £800 for another one...

Sam saw his ass.  Majorly.  He got up and walked out.  And didn’t come back. 

This now proved to be a bit awkward.  In fact, it proved to be very awkward.  We were all sitting around wondering what to do.  Jo and Mark just sat there and continued to drink.  I sent Sam a text asking if he was ok.  He didn’t respond.  I sent another telling him that I don’t judge him.  He must have been taken to his breaking point. 

We ate our meals and when it came to the bill, we had to take on Sam’s bill.  I didn’t have a lot of money on me (As I am totally skint) and Dan didn’t either.  We were counting coppers pretty much.  Embarrassing...
We took the train back to Dan’s.  We were chatting about it and Dan was saying that Sam was selfish and insensitive.  I said to him don’t be too hard on him.  We don’t know the full story...

We went to bed and I had a restless sleep. 

I woke up and realised that Mother Nature decided to tell me that I wasn’t pregnant.  Goddamnit!! No sex for a week. 

I was looking forward to seeing Simon but upset that I was out of action.  I texted him and told him.  He responded back, no problem, I just want to hold you.  Sigh....

This weekend was going to be business and pleasure.  We were going to go to the warehouse and sort it out and get my desk ready.  I drove to his and his parent’s massive house.  It was huge.

I got out of the car and Simon was waiting for me.  He walked to me and kissed me.  Hard.  I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back.  His lips felt like magic. 

He took my hand and we walked into his house.  There was his Mum and Dad.  They are a lovely couple.  Very much in love.  His mum said after hugging me, you’re going to love your laptop and laptop bag.  Simon took my hand and on his bed was a funky, vintage, retro red adn white polka dot satchel with a brand new red HP laptop inside...I gasped.  I really wasn’t expecting this.  I wrapped my arms around Simon and kissed him.  You didn’t have to do this baby, I said.  I was really taken a back.  No man has ever done that before for me. 

He smiled and said, you like it?  I love it I replied.  He kissed me again....deeply.

We then decided to go to the warehouse and get it sorted. 

We sat together and went through the system and I took notes and asked questions.  I concentrated on the task at hand but I would look at him sometimes.  He wasn’t as good looking as Jan but you know what?  He had a heart of gold.  He cared about me.  He treated me like a princess.  I looked rough but he told me that I was the most beautiful woman in the world.

Why did I believe him?

After we finished working, we met his parents at the pub.  They took their 2 little dogs.  They had a few wines and so did I.  We finished our drinks and went back to their house.  They fired up the barbeque and the drink flowed freely as the did the conversation.

Their back garden was huge.  They have a little cabin in the back with a coal burning stove.  It has 2 benches with lots of cushions.  After eating burgers, halumi and bacon we sat in the cozy cabin and chatted.  I think that his parents took to me.  His mum wrapped her arms around me and kissed me on the cheek.  I felt like I belonged for the first time in a long time.  My heart soared.  His dad and mum got pretty drunk but they were fun.  Not uncomfortable.  It was time to get to bed. 

Simon and I cleared up the dishes as his parents stumbled to their bed.  We giggled and went up to his room.  I got myself cleaned up and as I didnt’ come prepared for mother nature’s little surprise I ended up using half a roll of toilet paper and praying that I wasn’t going to stain the sheets.  I got back to Simon’s room.  White sheets.  Oh fuck.

I got into bed all padded up and praying that I will be ok.  I snuggled into bed with Simon.  I we fell asleep.  I got up in the middle of the night to check and I was ok.  I bunged more toilet paper up me.  God this is fucking embarrassing.

We got up the next morning and I took a shower.  Cleaned myself up as best as I could.  His mum had cinnamon bagels ready for breakfast.  We had some coffee and made plans.  Simon and I were going to go to the warehouse and clean up my desk and get the front office looking clean and tidy.

We drove around looking at new offices as his warehouse is currently too small.  We went and looked at the gym next his warehouse.  This was happening.  This shit got real.

So here I am, Ragers and Ragettes.  At my new desk, typing on my new laptop.  Listening to cheesy love songs as Simon works at his desk. Glancing over each other smiling and giggling.  I need to pinch myself.  This can’t be real, surely?  I am starting to feel things that I am not comfortable I falling for Simon?

Anywho, until next time, stay fabulous Ragers and Ragettes!
Lots of Love

Betty Rage xxxxx

Friday, 18 April 2014

On the Single Life in Manchester

Morning Ragers and Ragettes!!  Today is Good Friday so us people in Britain get 4 days off!   Fabulous!! 
So yesterday morning I struggled to get out of bed.  I managed to get up, have a hot shower and I decided (as I was made aware yesterday that the CEO, and I have a thing for men in power,  was coming in) to dress nicely.  So I opted for my red body con dress, I pulled my hair back and I dusted off the ultimate fashion weapon….nude peep toe heels.
Yes, nude peep toes.  These shoes are the best pair of shoes a woman can own. Honestly.  Especially if you are pale like I am.  You see, the tan peep toe shoe creates an illusion that you have long, statuesque legs.  As the colour blends in with your natural skin tone, this illusion creates one long block of colour and legs that look endless.  The problem with mine are that they are a bit awkward.  I usually wear stilettos but these have more of a block heel and they are my usual heel height (anything below 4 and a half inch heels I won’t consider….kitten heels?  That’s just disgusting!!) but something about them…I feel off balance.  So they haven’t been worn often.  I am determined to get them back into my life!!  If not I am going to have to buy some new ones with a stiletto heel.  And since I will be in a much better job I can afford….dare I say….Louboutins??????  We shall see!!
I have to say writing this blog has been an interesting experience for me.  I now have people reading this in the UK, USA, Holland, Czech Republic, Malaysia, Germany, Venezuela and now China!!   I guess that the people out in the world are interested in my little, crazy life. 
We see shows like Sex in the City that portray the life of a modern singleton.  And I have to say, it actually isn’t too far off, in my opinion.
I think that the fact that I live in one of the biggest cities in the UK makes the experience very unique.  You obviously have a bigger pool of young, professional people from all cultures and backgrounds which makes the whole experience very interesting.
Being from a small town, I think that my singleton experience would be profoundly different.  Everyone knows everyone’s business so I couldn’t get away with much but in the city, you have some anonymity which is pretty cool. 
I was discussing with the lovely Suzanne yesterday morning over our messaging service about the shoes I was rocking today and how when I collect my first paycheque from my new job in 6 weeks I want to purchase some rocking Ran Ban aviator sunglasses and Suzanne said you are truly living the single lifestyle!!
I sat back and thought about this.  She, like always, was totally spot on. 
Being single isn’t as bad as a lot of people think.  Yes there are some major drawbacks and believe it or not the financial drawbacks are the worst.
Hear me out on this!
The average wage in Manchester is £22,000 per year which means you’ll be bringing home about £1,400 per month, after tax.  The average rent for a flat in Manchester is £650 per month.  Add your bills on top of that, council tax (with single person’s discount you will pay roughly £80 per month), electricity/gas/water that’s a good £60 per month, that’s now half your paycheque gone!  You’ve got to eat and that’s about £160-£200 per month if you want to eat healthily.  Now if you live in the city centre and you work in the city centre, all you need are your trainers (gym shoes) and you can get most places in 20 minutes but if you need to work outside of the city centre in a surrounding area, we now tread into the dangerous world of public transport or cars. 
The average monthly ticket to take the tram is around £100 per month.  If you drive you have your insurance, your petrol and car maintenance.  Let’s put that at around £200 per month.  If you go to the gym, the average gym in Manchester costs say £40 per month. Kerching! 
That leaves you with pretty much no disposable income.  Now, if you were living in a flatmate situation or with a partner, cut your rent and bills in half.  Which according to the average, puts you £350 better off per month. 
Now after reading that you must be thinking well duh Betty, get a flatmate.  Move in with someone and have a room.  I have done this before and yes, it is cost effective but you lose your sense of independence.  I have had bad flatmate experiences.  I have shared accommodation with an alcoholic that almost burnt the place down after getting drunk and passing out with a cigarette in her hand, I shared with a kleptomaniac that would steal wine, food, sparkling water and hair products, I shared with a woman who got a puppy and then proceeded to go psycho.  She was into witchcraft and one night, I swear, I woke up with the feeling of something on top of me holding me down and I felt a stale warm breath on my cheek.  I woke up the next day with massive scratches on my chest (they weren’t from my hands because my hands were closed in fists and have drawn blood from my palms), she then attacked me by punching me in the eye.   I shared a flat with a girl that was an insomniac and used to blast music at stupid hours.  So yes, there is a sacrifice but independence is so important to me.  When I get into Rage Towers, my apartment is clean.  I can do what I want, bring home who I want, I can walk around naked if I want to. 
But the sense of you are not beheld to someone else in a way is quite liberating.  If I got a call from my job and they wanted me to relocate to Spain, New York, Italy, London or any place like that I can make the decision and go!  I have no children.  I am my own boss and that suits me fine.
And I can star fish myself on the bed and not have to worry if my partner drools, snores, farts, hogs the duvet, talks or kicks in the night.  And I don’t have to be self-conscious if I do the same!
No one to tell me off for my shoe, clothing or make-up purchases.  If I want to buy a pair of shoes, I will do it.  No hiding them in shame or giving the eternal phrase, “darling I assure you they were on sale!” or “these?  I have had them for years!!!” or “I got these at Primark, not at Selfrdiges!!” .  The only people that I have to justify this to is my bank and the credit card company.   It’s my money and I can spend it the way I want to.  I earned it.  Tough shit if you don’t like it.  So when I whine and bitch that I have no money at the end of the month it’s my fault and my fault alone.  No one elses!! (Pay day is in 7 days….have mercy!!)
So I have taken the decision that I have to leave my comfy corporate job to take a chance on Simon’s company.  I mean I will be getting a significantly bigger paycheque and that even with my commute down the M62 I will still be better off each month.  I will be so much more comfortable.  I have taken precautions and I am going to a financial advisor. So my shoe purchases may be limited but at least I will have the comfort and protection that I need for the future.  And I can enjoy single life again in this big city.  And with summer coming up I predict nights in Castlefield and Spinning Fields with a jug of Sangria, surrounded by good friends and many great memories.  
You see, the other great thing about being single is this is the opportunity to get to know yourself better.  I feel that where I have gone wrong in past relationships is that I went along with things instead of standing up for myself.  I am too nice sometimes.  I want to please people as best as I can.  The thought of letting someone down breaks my heart. But now I am standing up for myself.  I have the balls now to stand up and say, hey, fuck you.  I don’t have to put up with that!!!  It’s liberating!  Honestly!!!  Even at work when dealing with sales calls I slap them down.  It’s brilliant!
Now that I am comfortable with myself (my fashion, my style, my life) I know that I can attract the right type of man that I can be happy with and I think that I have attracted that man…
Anyway, until next time, most likely Monday as this is a bank holiday weekend, stay fabulous!!!
Lots of love
Betty Rage xxxxxxxx

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

On Being a Domestic Goddess and Another Lovely Night with Simon

Hi Ragers and Ragettes!!!  Spring has finally sprung….I think so….I decided to rock my purple, grey and fuchsia wrap around dress, no tights (I am now refusing to shackle my legs with tights….plus my legs have been shaved and lotioned so I am smooth and soft!!), my patent black peep toe shoes, and I have topped it all off with a big funky purple flower in my Betty Rage signature black bob today.   Some people passed comments about the flower in my hair (I didn’t realise that a purple flower was so provocative!!) but my little office pookie, Mark (who is fabulously gay) said that I looked very pretty and the flower was fab.  I wear flowers in my hair quite a bit.  It goes along with my vintage/rockabilly style.    
I had the lovely Simon over last night and as I couldn’t afford to go out for dinner (my bank balance and credit card can’t take anymore abuse!), I decided to cook Simon some dinner. Yes, you read that right, Ragers and Ragettes!!!  I, Betty Rage, the ultimate kitchen-phobe decided to attempt to cook Simon a meal.  Why?  Because the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, or so I have been told!
I decided on steak.  I had 2 great teachers when it came to cooking steak.  My dad taught me how to cook it on a barbeque but my “comfort friend” showed me how to cook it in my kitchen using a griddle pan.  (I also learned from that night that it’s not a good idea to cook steak naked…boiling oil splashing up on your bare skin….OUCH!!!!!!!!! ) I remember him telling me to rub oil on the steaks, season with some sea salt and cracked black pepper and turn the heat down once it gets hot, and I remember him telling me to let the steak sit for at least 30 minutes at room temperature prior to cooking.
Well, yesterday at lunch, I walked with the gorgeous Suzanne to the shop as I needed to purchase the said steak and some salad to go with it.  Now Suzanne is a woman of many skills.  One of them being cooking.  The woman is amazing when it comes to cooking!!! Eating food prepared by Suzanne is a religious experience!  So I asked her what she thought that I should do when it comes to cooking a steak and making dinner for a man. She confirmed that you do let the steak sit out at room temperature for longer than 30 minutes.  And when we got back to work, she suggested that I put the steak and salad in the boot of my little car.  So I took her advice nervously but went with it.
When work was finally done, I sped home (top down….amazing!!!!!) back to Rage Towers. I started to clean up (I don’t think that it’s attractive to invite a guy over while your laundry is hanging out to dry….especially when you have quite a collection, like I do, of sucking in knickers and shape wear….screw condoms, that’s the best contraception!!!) and make it look tidy.  I mean, I am old fashioned in some ways.    My parents raised me to be respectable and to take care of my things.  So my flat is usually immaculate.  One is usually blinded by how clean the bathroom is.  My kitchen sparkles and you can pretty much eat off the floor.  These principles were instilled in me by my mama. 
Mama, I feel, was the ultimate domestic goddess.  She kept a very clean house, kept my sister and I in line (You didn’t dare put a foot wrong or my mama would kill you….you think I’m kidding?  I’m not afraid of nuclear holocaust, the Taliban can torture me all they want but when my mama shoots me “the look”, yeah, that shit is scary!!!), cooked like a top chef at a top restaurant, was the perfect wife and always looked fucking good while doing it! She never wore trousers and didn’t own a pair of jeans.  Mama had “house dresses”, “house skirts”, blouses, house shoes (different from slippers) and she cleaned while her hair was perfectly waved and with a full face of make-up.  I think culturally it’s something that those of us of Italian descent aspire to.  To be the best at everything.  I now look back and realise how much it took a toll on my mama’s sanity.  She has an eating problem which comes out of a feeling of lack of control in your own life.  So by being in total control, does it make you feel like you have none at all?
I mean this day in age us woman have a lot of pressure on our shoulders.  We are expected to have the body of Miranda Kerr, have the business skills of Michelle Mone (CEO of the Ultimo Lingerie brand and a personal hero of mine), parenting skills of Jo Frost, the wittiness of Tina Fey and the bedroom skills of Jenna Jameson.  All that pressure.  And if we stand up for ourselves, we get comments like, “awwwww it’s that time of the month?”  Or “what a bitch”.
Well guess what.  Sometimes being a lovely lady and a sweetie doesn’t get the job done. You have flip the bitch switch.  Why?  Bitches get things done.  Pure and simple. 
I’m sorry about that, I digress. 
So when Rage Towers was looking even better I received a text from Simon to say that he arrived.  I buzzed him in and when he came up (even though I looked rough as shit) he said, You are so beautiful and he kissed me deeply.  Passionately.  It was lovely. 
I poured him a JD and coke and started on making dinner.  I was so nervous.  He loves his steak well done, me?  I like mine medium-rare to medium.  I was beyond nervous doing this for him.  He got up and wrapped his arms around my waist.  He kissed my neck gently.  I felt at ease instantly. 
I finished cooking the steaks and I waited for him to take a bite and let me know what he thought.  He chewed thoughtfully….
He turned and smiled and said, very good.  It was a fist pump moment.  I took a bite into mine…ermmm…well I think I heard it mooing still. Eeeeeeeeekkk!!  I pretended to like it though.  We ate and watched TV, something on the crime channel and when we were finished, I took the plates away, washed them and we decided to settle in and watch a film. 
I lit some candles and we got into our jammies (mine consisted of a vest and little shorts and his a short sleeved shirt and baggy trousers) and he laid on the couch and I rested with my back against his chest.  I put a blanket over us and we settled in and watched a film.
When the film finished we cleaned ourselves up, removed our jammies and got into bed.  I felt so comfortable with him next to me.  We started kissing and well….let’s just say that I went to sleep with a massive smile on my face and so did he….
I didn’t sleep so well.  I am not used to having a man laid next to me in bed throughout the night.  I get scared that I am going to do something stupid, like snore, fart, talk, drool or elbow him in the face. 
But there was a slight issue…Simon snores.  As I really like him,  I don’t know how to approach this.  I mean, I can’t slap him or elbow him in the ribs…he’s too cute and lovely but I hate having my sleep disturbed.  This is a huge quandary indeed.
So when my alarm went off, he spooned me and started to kiss my neck and wrapped his arms around my waist.  I felt tired but not cranky.  He whispered in my ear, good morning beautiful.  I really didn’t want to get up.  I turned over, rested my head on his chest and kissed the funky tattoo that he has on his chest.  He touched my face and ran his fingers through my hair.  I felt so comfortable with him.  I didn’t mind that he ran his hands over my wobbly bits.  I pulled the duvet off of us and we both got into the shower.  As I washed my hair, he started to wash my body.  I felt like I was in heaven.  He scrubbed my back, kissed me under the shower.  It felt right.
We got out of the shower and dried off and I started to get ready to go.  We chatted and laughed about the day ahead.  He was going to be so busy!!!  I probably was but I have 9 more working days and I really wasn’t arsed about work at all.  I just have the mind-set…go in, get your pay check and go home. 
We finished getting ready…I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him.  I’ll miss you, I whispered.  So will I baby, he said back.  We kissed passionately.  I looked at the time, I had to go.
We walked downstairs hand in hand and he walked me to my car.  I opened my door and put the key into the ignition and turned and kissed him again.  He looked at me and said I have something you will like, stay put.  He went to his Land Rover, opened the door, rooted around and reappeared.  He handed me a CD.  He smiled and said, it’s the Death Proof Soundtrack.
Now going on what I was discussing yesterday, music is so important!! Death Proof is possibly one of the shittiest Tarantino films ever made but it has the best soundtrack.  It’s full of Tarantinoesque music.  Very rockabilly, very Johnny Cash like. 
I smiled and put it into my stereo.  I thanked him with a massive hug and kissed him good bye one more time and I drove to work with the biggest smile on my face ever rocking out to a fabulous soundtrack.  Not even the petrol light going on and flashing made me feel uneasy.
I may not be like my mama domestic-wise but with a good man next to me, who makes me feel like I am a goddess, I think that I can settle for that and do my chores rocking my yoga pants, fleece, hair scraped back and make-upless.  The way that Simon makes me feel, I think I could pass for a domestic goddess….
Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, stay fabulous!!
Lots of love
Betty Rage xxxxxxx
P.S.  As always all names are changed to protect the innocent...but in most cases the not so innocent!!

Tuesday, 15 April 2014

On The Power of Music

Well this morning I am not feeling it today.  I didn’t sleep well last night and this morning I am looking the opposite to what I normally look….rough, knackered and worn out. 
So I got up, scraped my hair back, put on my vintage burgundy and black lace dress, blazer, and I refused point blank to put my tights on so my bare legs are on show today along with my Mary Jane shoes.  I look a bit off but, hey-ho, you can’t be perfect all the time. 
It’s becoming common knowledge at work that I am leaving.  The worst was when my team found out.  I told sexy Peter yesterday and he looked….upset.  I mean really upset. That broke my heart.  I know that nothing could or would ever happen between us but we get along so well.  We have a laugh, talk football and he’s actually a good friend.  And he’s super-hot.  That cheeky smile will keep me warm on the coldest of nights…He said that he wants to keep in touch. 
Even though I looked rough today, I heard some good tunes on the radio this morning on the way into work and I have to say that you don’t realise how much of an effect music has on your day and your mood.  There have been days when I have rocked up to work feeling hungover, tired and looking like death but then the radio will play an amazing song and all is right in the world!
The type of music I like?  I am very much a classic rock/indie/alternative rock sort of girl.  I also like Rockabilly sort of music.  Credence Clearwater Revival, Johnny Cash, and Lynyrd Skynyrd.   But saying that, I like all types of music.  My iPhone (which has all my music on it) looks like it has the music choices of a schizophrenic.  I have everything from Iron Maiden to Rihanna on it.  But my music keeps me sane. 
When I am sweating it out on the gym, I put my gym mix on and when it’s hurting, I pump up the volume and go for it through the pain barrier. 
But also music comes into my personal life.  I play the piano and the guitar (I’m not a guitar hero or anything, but I can play a tune) and I write music.  Music is so personal to me.  I would much rather strip naked publically than play my music publically.  I can’t sing (I leave that to my older sister) but I write words to go along with the music.  It’s like therapy.  My dream is to one day publish my music and maybe write a number one hit?  I am currently without a piano in my flat, which hurts me, but I vowed to save my money and buy one when I get myself sorted with my new job.   I like to play classical music.  I love immersing myself into the world of Mozart, Beethoven, Rachmaninoff, and Chopin.  It makes me feel civilised and almost human. 
Because of my of my love of music, I find that people in my life have “theme songs”. 
Take the lovely Suzanne.  When I see her I hear the music “Georgia on my Mind”.  She would kill me if she knew that as she isn’t from Georgia but it’s a significant song for her in my head.  And I think that she would understand why that song is for her…
With Jan, he has 2 songs associated with him.  The first one is by the British group Doves. The song is called “Pounding” (no it’s not that form of pounding, dirty minds!!!) and the reason I have this song for him because the chorus says “this won’t last forever”….in my mind I know that.  That song brings a tear to my eye. 
My “Comfort Friend” has the song “Van der Graaff” by Manchester band The Courteeners. They are a cool local band and this particular song has the line “I don’t need you in my life but I want you tonight”.  That pretty much sums up my feelings for him.
Simon has a couple of songs too that remind me of him.  Mostly songs by Johnny Cash. Simon is a fellow Rockabilly like myself, that’s why we get along so well.  But the song that makes me think of him is Florence and the Machine “You’ve Got the Love”.   I just know that no matter what happens in life, Simon would be there for me.  If I fell, he’d pick me up.  If I cried, he’s wipe away my tears.  I know that he’s a good man and that he cares for me very much and I am starting to care for him very much too…I’m seeing him tonight.
There is a saying that there is one song that turns every woman into a stripper…and this is very, very, very, very true.  There is a song called “Beggin” by a group called Madcon.  It’s a cover of a Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons song of the same name but damn!  When I hear it my inner slut comes out!  The amount of blow jobs I have given to that song…..It just makes me feel like a sex goddess.  Every woman should have a song like that I think.
I also have an “entrance” song.  I discovered this song 2 weeks ago and it has proved to be quite an entrance song.  When I get ready to go out on a night out and I am dressed to the nines, to get myself pumped up and ready to make an entrance, I have been putting this song on to get my strut going.  The song in question is by an up and coming new artist called Indiana and the song is called “Solo Dancing”.  The beat is contagious and I have been checking the rest of her stuff out.  It seems quite cool.  But when I listen to this song I work my outfit, my heels and I make the world my cat walk.  Every girl definitely needs a song like that!
I have songs that I listen to when I need a good cry.  Those are the most important ones.  If I need to let it all out, I listen to Half Moon Run and their beautiful song “Full Circle”.  That’s such a soulful, beautiful moving song.  There is another one by a group called Sebadoh and it’s an acoustic version of one of their songs called “On Fire”.  That one, I just sob like a little kid.  Then there is Mazy Star “Fade into You”.  That’s an oldie but a goodie.  It’s crazy how music can evoke such a response. 
Eternal American Party Boy Dick Clark once said, “Music is the soundtrack to our lives.” How true is that?  It’s insane how music can take us from one mood of feeling pumped up and ready to rock to dropping us to weeping out pain. 
As it was a beautiful day today, when I left work I dropped my top (on my car, perverts!!!) and blasted Rage Against the Machine "Killing in the Name"...and that music? I felt like a total bad ass. 
Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes stay fabulous!
Lots of love
Betty Rage xxxxx

Monday, 14 April 2014

On Fashion and Finding Your Own Look

Happy Monday, Ragers and Ragettes!! 
Yes you read that right, Happy Monday!  It was a happy Monday for me.  Why?  Well, I got up when my alarm went off, dragged my ass to the gym, donned my all-time favourite vintage scarlet coloured dress, paired with my black tights (I cannot wait until I can throw these horrible tights in the drawer and not have to look at them until mid-September!!) and my leopard print skyscrapers and my black velour blazer. 
I didn’t just walk into work, I strutted into work looking like I had it going on.  And guess what…I do.  The looks I received this morning, the compliments.  I had it going on today. 
Suzanne came over to me looking fabulous.  She was rocking a gorgeous lip colour!!  I am a believer that unless you are going out you should either go for a smokey fabulous eye look or keep your eyes quite plain and rock pop lip colour.  My usual look (when I had money!) was to get my eyelashes done nice and dramatic and then rock my signature red on my lips. (When I get my first pay check from my new job at the end of May, guess who’s booking in to get her nails and eyelashes done???)  Lately I have been donning my red lips, and I have put burgundy lipliner on my eyes to make my green eyes look more intense.  (Yes you read that right….lip liner…it’s softer, and more dramatic…and trust me that is the only drama that I want in my life!!!)  So Suzanne had the look today that I like.  A bit of mascara on the eyes and this mulberry pop of colour on the lips.  Instant class, instant impact and fabulous in every way!!!!  And it was a stain look about it which again I think is really lovely.  Sometimes gloss can be too gloopy but by using a lip pencil it looks less done and Suzanne ticked all the boxes today!
I absolutely love clothes and shoes, make up  and anything fashion!!!  The thing is that I have been struggling for money for the last 5 and a half years (mostly my own fault but also the fault of having a low paid job) so it’s been awhile since I have been able to indulge in one of my major passions….shopping and pampering!!!!!
I have a very distinct look about me.  I am unusual looking to begin with; I have an Italian mum and a South African father.  I take after my mum in the looks department, that’s for sure!! 
I struggled finding my feet when it came to fashion when I was younger.  Being from a small town, we didn’t have a lot on offer in regards to fashion.  Just the same old High Street Shops so everyone looked the same.  Boring!  I dressed in the same preppy look as everyone else but when I was in my mid-teens, I decided that I wanted to try different looks. 
I started to dye my mousy brown hair bright, copper red, to my mum’s dismay.  In my small town, that was a sign of teenage rebellion.  I also started shopping at charity shops.  I’d buy men’s Levi’s jeans for cheap, bring them home and rip them up making them shorts, skirts or pulling the waistband out and wearing them as hip huggers as I have big hips.  I also started to sew beads and sequins on them to make them look different.  For the first time, I started to find my feet when it comes to fashion.
Then I moved to Europe.  Over here, fashion is very different.  The girls in London dress differently than the girls in Manchester, that’s for sure!!  I have to admit I got caught up in it all!  So again I found myself hitting the high street and buying clothes and looking like everyone else.  (I kept the red hair though.)  Then I started to self tan.
I started off with tan in a can, as I call it.  Then it escalated to sunbeds.  I was going tanning 3 times a week and as I am half Italian when I catch the sun I go very dark. 
This continued even when I moved from London to Dublin in Ireland.  But then I added another element:  hair extensions.
I have naturally baby fine hair and not a lot of it.  I have always had short hair because when it grows out, it goes all stringy and awful looking.  So I decided to shell out a good amount of money for glue in hair extensions.  It turned out to be a disaster.  A major disaster that left me with bald patches, an even shorter haircut and no confidence. 
I then started to take a step back and look at myself.  Here I was trying so hard to fit in.  I tried to dress the same, have the same hair and tan my skin.  All the for the sake of “fitting in”.
I then decided enough was enough.   I remembered back to when I was younger buying the old jeans from the charity shop and making something cool out of them.  So I decided that I needed to figure out what I liked.
I knew that I liked heels, pencil skirts, dresses and I loved looking like a lady.  So I started to go to markets and taking notes.  I started investing in good classic pieces.  I bought 2 lovely pencils skirts and I started to wear my red lipstick.  I felt liberated for the first time in a long time!
When I rocked up to work in my new clothes, I got a lot of strange looks but they were looks of wow not looks of what the??  I started to become a force to be reckoned with.  I was losing weight so my waist was getting defined.  I started getting into belts (they are great for creating and accenting curves and waists) and I started buying wrap-around dresses.  I got a funky haircut and put mad colours through my hair.  I felt like a teenager again!
Then the economic crash happened.  I met my ex and moved to the northwest of England. My days of carefree shopping were well and truly done.  I ended up in a very low paid job supporting an alcoholic.  It was hard.  I would look with envy at the well-dressed girls in Liverpool and Manchester.  I would save what little money I could to try and treat myself but those pampering treats ended.  So did my tanning obsession.
I wore the clothes that I had until they were thread bare.  I also gained weight so my pretty skirts and dresses couldn’t be worn.  I felt depressed.  Very depressed.  I felt like I couldn’t express myself.  Also the fact that I was in a job that I was getting bullied every day didn’t help.  My fashion sense dropped along with my confidence.
But I managed to pull myself out of my rut.  I got a new job with better money and I started to build up my fashion confidence again.  I started to experiment with my hair.  I knew that I couldn’t have long hair and I was not going to attempt extensions again!! 
So I went to my hair dresser and said that I needed a new look that was simple, sassy, classy and high impactAfter consulting with my stylist for 2 hours she said, I think that you need to go black and go for a classic bob.  I’m thinking Victoria Beckham circa 1990’s Spice Girls? 
Black?  Isn’t that harsh?  Victoria Beckham?  That skinny miserable bitch?
She said, Betty with your eyes, your red lips and your pale skin….it works!  Think of how striking you’d be!!
Well, that was 18 months ago, I have embraced my same haircut, I have embraced my pale, flawless complexion, red lippy is permanently on and I now am the woman that is writing for you now.
To find a style, a look that is good for you….my advice?  Throw the copies of Vogue, Allure, Company, and every other fashion magazine out.  Do you really want to see a bunch of skinny, miserable bitches posing in overpriced clothes?
Go out, explore the city centres and markets around you.  There are fashionistas everywhere!!!  Take what you like from each look, try something new!  Fashion should be liberating, not restrictive.  Don’t wear an outfit because it’s “in style” wear it because you like it!  Wear it because it makes you feel confident!!!  If you feel good wearing your outfit, strut yourself in and everyone will pick up on that and think, Damn this girl has got it goin’ on!!! 
The most important thing is to be comfortable.  Embrace who you are.  There is nothing more sexy than a woman that is comfortable in her own skin, comfortable in her clothes and rocks a “do I give a fuck” attitude.  As my new mentor Elena LeShelle has now drummed into my head…I. AM. GODDESS.
Take care, Ragers and Ragettes.  And until next time, stay fabulous!
Lots of Love,
Betty Rage xxxxxxxx