On the Goddess Attitude

After the mess of yesterday, I did a lot of crying. I don't know why I was a hot mess, but I needed a major dose of man the fuck up. So I did what any single girl with the case of the blues would do....I got a kebab went back to Rage Towers and cried like a little bitch.

I listened to sad music and just cried, cried, and cried. I felt so down, so alone, so scared. Suzanne messaged me and I told her everything. She, like a sister, offered her support and love. She told me it was ok to cry and ok to breakdown. I felt a bit better. I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up feeling strangley refreshed. I checked my phone and there was a text from both Simon....and Jan. Simon was checking if I am ok and told me that I was beautiful, lovely and perfect. Jan was checking if he was still going to come over and watch the match with me and bring lunch. This then sparked a thought in my head...what would a Goddess do?

I have recently stumbled over a blog called "The Words of a Goddess" written by an Elena LeShelle. This woman is has it going on. She has this inner confidence. She's so cool, so smooth, so sexy. So, so amazing. So after my moring workout, I decided to give myself a crash course in the ways of a goddess. And after everything that happened yesterday, I definitely was a whiney bitch, not a goddess!!! So I took her thoughts, experiences, and ways in. I was going to be a goddess and get control of my feelings, my actions and my sexual feelings.

I got showered, shaved my legs, put my cocoa butter lotion on, and I put my sexiest lingerie on (a leopard print bra with red ribbons and a matching thong. I decided on my skinny jeans, a turquoise off the shoulder top, I did my make up to perfection, lined my eyes with turquoise eye make-up, put my lip plumping gloss on and topped it off by accessorising my signature black, Betty bob with a turquoise flower. I looked at myself in the mirror and repeated out loud...I am goddess. I am goddess. I am goddess. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, put my glasses on (I love the slutty librarian look!!) I pushed my boobs up and decided that I was going to take control of the Jan situation.

I walked out to see Jan walking towards me with his bike. I drew in a breath...he looked like he was in a Hugo Boss advert. He smiled that beautiful smile at me. I closed my eyes and collected my thoughts. When he came up to me he wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear, "good afternoon, Miss." My knees went weak. He leaned down to kiss me, but I turned my face and he got my cheek. A goddess takes affection on her terms not his terms.

He chained his bike to the bike rack outside my building. He followed me up to Rage Towers. We got into my flat and I let him kiss me. I kept telling myself that I was the one in control. I was the one who had the power in this. Not my stupid emotions and stupid feelings. The kiss was deep, needy, and passionate. I felt winded.

He set his stuff down and we sat on the settee. He needed advice on his CV and he was moving so he was getting flustered. He looked at me with his little, lost school boy look and whimpered. He looked at my chest and put his arms around me and rested his head on my breasts. He started to kiss the tops of them. I did my best to not cave and give in...but I wrapped my arms around him.

I broke the embrace, got up and asked if he wanted a coffee. He said that he did. So I started making the coffee and we were discussing the big match today. I kept it as non-chalant as I could. I took a few deep breaths and gave him the coffee. As I sat down next to him, he stroked the small of my back. Electricity up my spine. I kept telling myself in my head, I am goddess, I am goddess, I am goddess.

We chatted until the match started. The match was exciting and thrilling and I welcomed the distraction from Jan. Then halftime came...

At halftime, Jan turned to me and started nibbling on my neck, earlobe, and he traced down to my bare shoulder. He took my hand and placed it on his raging hard on. If he was going to play this game, then game on!!!

I traced the lump in his trousers over his jeans. He whispered in my ear, Boy wants his Miss to touch him. I giggled and whispered back, Boy only gets touched when Miss feels up to it...I felt my inner Goddess cheer me on.

The second half started (thank heavens....I practiced a lot of restraint and I mean a lot!!!) and it was twice as intense as the first one. He got up and made me lunch. We ate and watched the second half. We both cheered, shouted and enjoyed the match. I played it cool though. Very cool. And the funny thing was, he got hornier, needier, and more tactile. There must something in the treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen thing.

The match finished, my team won (yippeeeeee!!) and I knew that it was time for him to leave. He's moving out of his beautiful flat and moving into shared accommodation so he had some things to do at his new place. He needed to get to his new flat to do some measuring and organising. He packed his bag. He looked at me with those beautiful baby blues. I felt so exposed. His gaze was intense, needy and I felt like a little girl. I then remembered the mantra that Elena taught me. I am goddess. I matched his stare and he glanced down.

I showed him out and he leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips. I opened the gate for him. He
asked to see me again and I didn't commit to anything.

I went back inside and felt a little smug, a little bad but I felt very powerful. A power that I never felt before. I had a sexy, fit, good looking Danish man with a massive dick in my flat and I didn't strip off, I didn't beg, I didn't act like a needy fool. I acted like a goddess!!! Elena, you are a genius!!!

So Ragers and Ragettes. I have now controlled my Danish man fetish. I now feel like I can take on
everything! Monday doesn't seem so daunting anymore.

 Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, stay fabulous!

 Lots of Love

Betty Rage xxxxxxx