On the Ballad of Betty and Dan: The Epilogue

Hi Ragers and Ragettes!!  It’s an overcast, breezy and cool but that is ok.  I am rocking a white vest, white cardigan, white sandals and a floral maxi skirt.  My hair is pulled back in a headband and I am wearing minimal make up and looking quite sweet and innocent today. 

It’s been a good day so far in that in a month with my healthy eating and exercise regime, I have shifted 8 pounds this month!!  That doesn’t sound like much but slow and steady wins the race.   Plus losing weight slowly prevents stretch marks, sagging skin and you are more likely to keep the weight off.  I am very happy with the result!  August I will do even better and continue towards my goal of wearing a certain body con dress for my birthday and looking hot for when I go home for Christmas.  I want to buy a whole new wardrobe.  And to treat myself for shifting this weight, I have booked myself in for Saturday after my session with Brad to get some Prinnie Pampering done (my hero and girl crush Elena calls it goddess maintenance but I don’t feel that I warrant the goddess title.....I mean, Elena is cool, confident and amazing and I am accident prone and not goddess like at all!  I consider myself a goddess in training....) which includes a Shellac manicure, a pedicure, eyebrow wax and a bikini wax.  Ouch.

Any way, as the title suggests here is the Epilogue of the ballad of Betty and Dan....

Since I made the choice to cut Dan out of my life I have felt a bit off balance.  Dan and I had a special bond and friendship.  He was a good friend and confidant and we had some good times together but I had to protect myself and the life I have built around me.

Out of the blue last week, I received a message off FaceBook from my friend Cheryl (name changed to protect the innocent) whom I haven’t spoken to for ages.  Cheryl is a mutual friend of mine and Dan.  Cheryl is also dating Greg (name changed to protect the innocent) who is also a friend of Dan’s.  I purposely didn’t contact her because I was scared that she was upset with me for cutting Dan out.  So that’s why I was surprised when I received the message asking me to come up for dinner and a girlie night. 

Cheryl is great fun and I enjoy her company very much but the last time I went up to see her, I ended up being stuck with taking care of her 8 old boisterous child.  Dan came up with me that time and I intended on having a nice drink and laugh with 2 of my good friends.  I ended up playing dolls, colouring and read stories to her daughter.  I wasn’t best impressed.

I felt a bit nervous, was the same going to happen?  I decided to go.  I love being with Simon but sometimes you need to have some time to yourself.

So last night I got into my little car with Simon’s Sat Nav and negotiated the winding roads that led to Cheryl’s new house.  My stomach was upset all day from the fear.  Was Dan going to be there?  Was I going to get lumbered with the kid again? 

I arrived and Cheryl greeted me with open arms.  I hugged her and she said it’s been too long.  We hugged again.  It was lovely to see her.  She is a very pretty girl with long ginger hair, beautiful blue eyes and a welcoming smile. 

The other guests arrived.  Her ex sister in law (Cheryl has been married and since divorced), her niece, and 2 of her work colleagues.  We all chatted and had a fabulous laugh together. 

Cheryl served up chilli and we all tucked in discussing men, work, dating and other normal subjects.  It felt great to be part of a group again.  I seemed to fit in.

After dinner Cheryl went outside for a smoke, I got up and cornered her.  I asked her how she was and if she was still seeing Greg.  She said that she was great and Greg and her are happy.  I then told her that I had to block Dan.

She took a drag on her cigarette and smiled.  So did I, Betty.  My mouth dropped open.  She blocked Dan too?  Why I asked.

She explained that last year when her and Greg were having some major problems Dan became a friend to lean on.  She would meet him for a beer and such.  But Dan started to get intense.  He started seeing her more and more and then he started a rumour amoungst his friends that Cheryl and him were an item.  Cheryl was disgusted but kept a dignified silence. 

He became more clingy and the last time I saw Cheryl, it wasn’t Cheryl that invited me up but Dan.  According to Cheryl, he told her that I would look after her child so that they could have a drink and a meal.  She apologised to me but I told her not to be stupid.  She went on.

That night when I was sleeping in her bed with her daughter, she slept in her daughter’s bed and Dan was on the floor.  She woke up to him touching her shoulder and making his way down to her chest. 

She was disgusted of course.  But it didn’t stop there.

A few weekends later, Dan came up and they were chatting.  He was getting seriously drunk and started saying that he could see himself living in her little house and he wanted to move in.  He then told her that the weekend prior he was out with Greg and Greg was chatting up other women and acting like a total twat.  Cheryl knew that it was a lie because the weekend he was talking about, Greg and her went out for a meal and he spent the night at hers.  He then leaned in and tried to kiss her.  She threw him out of her house and blocked him.

She also said that he started to shit stir and try to break up his friend’s relationships by talking shit about each person to their partner.  Now Dan has no friends.

I was gobsmacked but the pieces started to fit into place.

Dan didn’t like me having other friends.  Whenever I would go out with my other friends he would bombard me with texts, play the emotional blackmail card and then I would get dragged away.  He pitted me against another girl who I was friends with and now we don’t talk anymore.  As I started to look back patterns were forming.  Dan has been manipulating me for the last 6 years.  Ostracizing me from friends and dropping my confidence.

So why was I feeling guilty.  I then started to feel betrayed and angry.  Cheryl hugged me, sensing my feelings and told me that he isn’t worth it. 

You know what?  She is totally right.  So, Ragers and Ragettes, the closure that I needed was there.  Dan wasn’t my friend.  He was a liar, manipulative gobshite and a total cad.  How can someone do that to their friends? 

So I went home feeling stronger, better and like the burden of feeling like shit has finally been taken off my shoulders.  I appreciate the good people that I have in my life, my family, Simon, Suzanne and Cheryl.  These are the people that I need to be around not people like Dan. 

I finally had the closure I needed for years of pain and emotional torture I have endured.  I feel like I can now turn the page and move on with my life to the next exciting chapter.

So good riddance to bad garbage!!!  This girl is on the up and I only want people who bring me up in my life. 

So Ragers and Ragettes, please choose the company that you keep carefully.  You deserve the best, never forget it!

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx