On Man's Best Friend

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  It’s set to be the hottest day here in St Helens but I am ok with that.  And of course I have dressed appropriately!  Today I am rocking a floral vintage dress with cap sleeves, red peep toe shoes, my red lippy, of course, and in honour of the gorgeous Suzanne, my grandmother’s pearls.  I am feeling gorgeous and lady like today. 

I had a hard but rewarding session in the gym with Brad.  Boy he pushed me to the limit! By the time I Was finished, I could barely stand up and speak!!  My face was a gorgeous hue of purple!!  But, again, it’s worth it!

I got in and kissed Simon softly on the lips.  He is so cute when he is sleeping!  He woke up and looked at me with those baby blues.  I swear I melted!!!!

He then said, Betty, today the dogs come to say.

Damn, in a tipsy state after being plied with alcohol from Simon’s Mum I agreed to take their 2 shih tzus in while they went to Chester for their anniversary!!! 

Now, Ragers and Ragettes, I don’t have a problem with animals.  I love all animals.  Except for creepy crawlies and spiders....especially spiders.  I think that guinea pigs are adorable, cats are lovely and regal, fish are cool to look at, lizards are fun and sweet, but when to comes to man’s best friend....I’m not too sure.

Growing up we never had pets except for hamsters and guinea pigs.  I always wanted a cat but my dad is allergic to the dander from the fur.  So growing up, I never really had the experience with dogs.

My uncle breeds a large dog called a Rhodesian Ridgeback and they are quite cool but my uncle has a farm so they run around and have all the space to shit, pee, and do things that dogs do. 

My concern about this, Ragers and Ragettes are 2 twofold.

First, I am very house proud.  I love the apartment that Simon and I share.  It’s a gorgeous place, nice and open planned with cream coloured carpets.  It’s a place that I can go home, put my yoga pants on and chill.  Our apartment is tidy, smells lovely and is pristine.

You seem Ragers and Ragettes, dogs may be territorial but Betty Rage is far more territorial!!  Oh yes, Betty Rage is territorial indeed when it comes to her home, dresses, handbags and especially my shoes.  And what do dogs like to do?  Mark their territory and rip up dresses, handbags and especially shoes!!!  How do I know this, you ask?

2010 I lived with a lovely girl named Carrie (Names changed to protect the innocent).  At first Carrie was sweet and kind then one day she brought home a little Jack Russell puppy named Scarlet.  This cute little bundle was sweet at first but as she grew, she became a right terror.  I would get in from work and my stockings would get torn up and my shoes would get mauled.  And when I would try and correct the dog, Carrie would scream, she’s a dog she doesn’t know better...

I had to resort to eating my dinner in my bedroom with the door locked because the dog would jump on the table and try to take it off my plate.  I became a nervous wreck.  And Carrie slowly descended into some strange dog induced psychosis.  I moved out shortly after because my tights/stockings and shoes couldn’t take it anymore.

And my second concern is in regards to taking care of someone else’s pet.

I have bad luck with this because when I was younger I was taking care of a neighbour’s cat and when I went in one day to feed it, it ran out of the house when I opened the door to get in.  The kitty was never seen again and I got the blame and had to shell out my saved up money from my child minding jobs to compensate the pet owner. 

You see, Ragers and Ragettes, people put their pets in the same category with children and I know that if any harm came to Simon’s parents dogs, I would be blamed, kicked out, lose my job and be sacrificed to some pet god for atonement.  It’s the same reason why when new mothers ask me to hold their new born babies I flat out refuse. 

I get nervous!  I am clumsy at the best of times,  I mean, what if I drop it?  What if I do something wrong and the baby/pet gets hurt?  Simon thinks I am being silly but I don’t’ feel comfortable walking them or feeding them.  I am just scared that I am going to do something stupid and hurt the dogs by mistake.  Surely that isn’t unreasonable?  Simon loves the dogs and I am not comfortable with them.  He dotes on them.  If I accidentally harmed them, God, he would never be able to forgive me...ever....

So, I guess tonight, Ragers and Ragettes, and until Saturday I will be living with 2 shih tzus.  It’s shame that I have cut back my alcohol consumption because I think I will need it for the next few days!!!

Until next time Ragers an Ragettes, take care!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxx