Sunday, 23 February 2020

On a New Home and New Lease of Life

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!

Happy Sunday to you!!  It's bright and sunny and not too cold outside which is fab!  I have had a lovely relaxing Sunday:  hot bath, cleaned my makeup brushes, my stuff for the week is ready, and my breakfast for the week is cooking away.  I think that this feeling is called satisfaction

Well, as you know, this past week has been a bit odd.  On Monday night I broke up with Mr Wonderful and lost a great place to live

But the week picked up.  I continued to search for places to live

I was chatting to the girls in the office about my move and one of the girl piped up and said, why don't you try where I live?

The town she lives I knew quite well a long time ago. 

10 years ago I dated a guy from that place.  He lived in a gorgeous village right next to it.  I remember walking from the tram stop to his and thinking what a fucking shithole.

I started looking online for flats.  My God!  That town has changed!!! 

The flats were very reasonably priced and it looks like the town has picked up.

So I scheduled a viewing for a place just on the canal.  I put in to view another that was right centre of the town

On Wednesday, as I was pulling up to the flat, I received a call about one of the flats that I wanted to view.  I said I was in the area, and I would view it after I was viewing this one.

I looked around and it was an impressive modern building....around it?  Fuck all.  Just houses that were derelict.  No cafes, no restaurants....not even a corner shop.

The real estate agent pulled up.  It was raining and I went to her car and introduced herself. She was taking her time getting out of her car while I stood there getting drenched. 

We walked into the complex and it was impressive.  So modern.

We chatted and we got to the door.  She opened it up and we looked around. 

It was a modern flat.  The living room was small and so was the kitchen.  It had 2 bedrooms.  I was asking her about it and she was very nonchalant.  She said you probably won't get it because there is a lot of interest...I was like.....right....

I walked out frustrated and feeling a bit down

I made my way to my next viewing.  I found myself right in the centre of the town that my work colleague lives in.  I looked around.  Gone were the old buildings and boarded up shops.  There were bars, boutiques, cafes restaurants.  I parked my car and walked to the estate agent. 

A pretty blonde smiled and shook my hand.  She said, Betty do you mind if we view another flat too as there is someone else interested in this flat and he wants to view another one.

So we walked down the road into the little town. My eyes took in the restaurants, bars, yoga studio....I found myself saying out loud, I love this!  It is exactly like Manchester City Centre but smaller and less chaotic.

We viewed a flat that was nice but not suitable for me. No parking.  It was clean and modern.  The other guy seemed interested.

We then walked down back towards where the estate agent was. 

She walked to a door on the street that didn't look like much.  She opened the door and we walked through a modern development. We walked to a frosted glass door on the ground floor.  When she opened the door and turned the light on, I gasped.  I was looking at the biggest kitchen I had ever seen!!  It was massive!!!  Black worktops and white clean cupboards.  A dishwasher, fridge and freezer. The living room was massive too!!!  The hard wood floors were clean and neutral.  She showed us the master bedroom and the en suite.  She then showed us the spare room and second bathroom that had a nice big bathtub.  Everything was furnished with modern, clean furniture,  And unlike the flat that I live in, it wasn't overwhelming.  I have to buy cutlery, plates and stuff like that and I don't mind that. 

I looked around at the modern flat and smiled. 

This could very well be Rage Towers. 

The other guy seemed disinterested.  I told the estate agent that was I interested.  I told her that I had guinea pigs and what had happened before

She smiled and said to come to the office and fill in an application form and she will call the landlord.

I went back to the office (which was across the street from the flat) and I filled the form in.  I brought along my ID and proof of address.  She called the landlord and he approved my piggies.  We chatted about my moving in date and I decided March 31st.

I left feeling happy.  I felt so refreshed seeing how that town had been rejuvenated.  A Hot Yoga Studio is a 5 minute walk, the train station and tram is 10 minutes.  It just seemed perfect

When I got in, I messaged Suzanne.  Suzanne said go for it!!  And I thought, I will.

Well on Friday, I got approved and I officially move in March 31st!!  I told my current estate agent and as my flat is falling apart (hello leaking windows and the sewage stench coming from the bathtub!) I can hand my keys over April 1st. 

I booked the time off work and I am buzzing.  I feel like I am winning again!!!

This year so far has proven to be crazy.  I'm young, free and single and I am moving to a town that is young, rejuvenated and vibrant.  When I leave my current home, I will leave blessing it.  Loving it.  Thanking it for keeping me safe.  Thanking it for getting me out of a horrible state of hell.

So I have started getting ideas for my new place.  I am excited to make this flat my own.  I'm so excited that Suzanne and I are going to revisit it and then I am taking Suzanne out for lunch.  She is the best at decorating and she knows my style. 

So out with the old, in with the new! 

So until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxx





Tuesday, 18 February 2020

On Breaking Up with Mr Wonderful

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!

Yes, you read that title right.  Last night I broke up with Mr Wonderful

So I am sat here in my cosiest sweater, my favorite camo print velour jogging bottoms and fluffy socks. 

It all started on Valentine's Day. 

I don't usually get involved with office conversations as I am usually too busy. 

Sandra (name changed to protect the innocent) was telling us all what her fiancee and her were doing for Valentine's.  She just got engaged and they were going out for a romantic meal together.

Betty, what are you doing.  Are you seeing your fella this weekend?

I looked up and said, no.  He's still in Switzerland.  It then came out of my mouth, to be honest, I want to break up with him.

Sandra looked at me and said, then do it Betty.  You are young.  Don't be wasting your time on someone that isn't right for you. 

She then walked out and I was left with her words ringing in my ears.

I had an ok weekend.  I viewed a flat and I fell in love with it straight away.  I filled in the form in anticipation to send it off on Monday and secure the flat as my own.

Monday came around and I submitted my forms.

I received a call from the agency and she said, ok Betty, let's go through this.  We talked through the forms and then she said, do you have any pets.  I said, yes I do.  I have guinea pigs.

Oh, she said.  That is a problem.  This is a strict no pet household.  I'll call to see if I can allow it.

She hung up,  I felt sick to my stomach.  This flat had everything I wanted, or so I thought.

She called back and said, you can have the guinea pigs but they have to be outside, as the flat had a garden

First of all, mine are indoor guinea pigs.  And Guinea pigs, if they are subjected to wet, windy and cold weather under 15 degrees C, they can die. 

I told her I would have to think about it.  Anyway, I went back and asked if I put a bigger deposit down, could I keep them inside.  She asked the landlord, they said no.  I then thought about it and went back to the estate agent and told her that I it would have to be a no from me, my piggies and I are a packaged deal.

She then tried pleading with the landlord again.  The final word?  No.

So Monday sucked.  I was upset about losing this apartment.

I got in and made dinner and relaxed.

Football was on.  So Mr Wonderful and I usually chat when the footy is on.  Anyway, it was a tasty match.  Very exciting and poorly refereed. 

He sent me a message and I don't know if it was because I was tired or upset about the apartment but he pushed a button. 

The floodgates opened and I sent him a very angry, bitchy message. He responded Ok. 

I sat back, my heart was in my throat.  I thought to Sandra and my conversation on Valentines Day.  Why was I putting myself through this?  Then the words came out.

I am sorry.  I shouldn't have subjected you to that.  You didn't deserve it.  Then I broke it off with him.

I don't think this s going to work.  We live too far apart.  We've been doing this for 2 years now almost.  Nothing has changed...I spoke from the heart.  Honestly. 

I then told him to not contact me as I wanted to get my head right.

I then messaged Suzanne straight away.  It hadn't registered. 

I put my phone down and I tried to sleep.  I couldn't.  My head was a jungle. 

So I had no sleep last night. 

I clock watched and got up early.  Had my shower and got to work early.  As I have  key for the building I am able to come and go as I please.  So I let myself in.

I checked my phone.  No response from Mr Wonderful.

I messaged our mutual friend and told her what happened.  And in fairness, she was so supportive and kind and understanding.

I messaged my mother.  And I messaged Sandra and told her what I did.

Today was an odd day.  I had a lot of work to do so I kept busy.  I just kept my head down, listened to my tunes and got on with it.

At lunch Sandra came to my desk and presented me with a bouquet of flowers.  I looked at her and she said, welcome to the first day of the rest of your life

The IT guy (who I get along with very well and if he was 15 years younger and single, I so would go there...we have a.....chemistry.  But he is married with kids and I don't want to be that woman) over heard and came over to my desk and hugged me. 

I looked around and I saw faces of concern.  I was touched

So the IT guy made a point of making me laugh for the rest of the day.  Sandra checked in on me and the pervy finance manager who loves to stare at the girls chests was extra lovely.

I think about it, and a few things stick out.

1.  I didn't shed a single tear.  At all.  Either that makes me a total sociopath or I didn't love him

2.  I work with some of the loveliest people.  I am blessed.  I love my job

3.  The apartment situation?   I'll find something better.  I know I will.  I'm not worried about it.  I am viewing one tomorrow so we will see

Sandra was right.  Today the beginning of the rest of my life.  I am young, free and single.

So what will I do next?  Well, first I am going to tuck into my dinner consisting of curly fries and chicken nuggets (I just broke up with the guy I was seeing!!!  Give me a break!!!), watch a series on Netflix and have an early night

Then I am going to work hard, workout, get my body into better shape and make this summer a summer of love.  Love firstly for myself and my life and then I'll look around for a great man to join me in my adventures.  I mean,Manchester has a population of 2.8 million, there must be a man that I can have a relationship with?  Right?

Until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxx


Sunday, 9 February 2020

On Getting Out and About

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!

It's a windy Sunday here in the Northwest of England!  Apparently storm Ciara is causing some damage outside. 

So I have spent the day indoors, snuggled up nice and warm.  I'm watching the football and just relaxing.  It's a nice feeling!

As you all know, the last few years have been very up and down for me.  And recently I have been feeling like I am on an even keel.  I feel more positive, confident and happy in my life. 

Last week was an interesting week.  I went to see Suzanne and had a coffee and chat with her, I hurt my back (by getting up!  Weird!!  It is feeling loads better now though, thanks to heating pads and pain killers!), I had my performance review for work and I passed with flying colors.  My salary is going to be renewed in March.  It was a good meeting and I feel good about my future in my career.

But the biggest thing that happened this week, I actually went out.......twice!

Yes, I left my little flat 2 days in a row and I socialized!

Since I left Simon, my confidence has been very low.  I haven't been going out, even to go shopping.  All my shopping is done online.  The only time I have been going out is to the beauty salon to get my hair done or my nails done. 

So on Friday morning when Marta (name changed to protect the innocent) in the accounts department came to my desk to ask if I wanted to go on a hike this weekend with her, I thought why not.  I go out on hike with Suzanne a lot and I love being out and about.  She told me to meet her at a pub that was near the airport on Saturday morning.  I couldn't think of any nature spots near the airport....

Then on at about 2pm, a friend of mine texted me asking what I was doing.  I told her that I had no plans.  She was in Manchester as she was set to go out on a date with this guy she met online.  He was not being very open about their plans.  She didn't even know what time she was going to meet him!!!!!  I was like, girl.....seriously?  What a dick! 

As we chatted she was like, Betty, seriously, hes dicking me around!  So I thought, fuck it.  I'm not doing anything.  So I got home and changed into my PVC trousers, a low cut blouse and my boots. 
I curled my hair and did my make up and soon before you know it, I was out for the night.

I met my friend at her hotel and we had a few beers.  We then walked out to this trendy bar and had a bottle of wine and a good laugh. 

She said, Betty we need to do this more often.  I thought, yea, we do!

Her date finally showed up at around 11 so I thought, I'm not drunk, a bit tipsy, so I will go home and let them have a nice night.  I said goodbye and got back to my flat and got to bed.

I woke up the next day feeling good and I waited for my food shopping to be delivered.  After it was delivered I texted Marta and told her I was on my way.  She doesn't live far from me and we both arrived around the same time. 

It was a lovely sunny day.  I wore some jeans, brown riding boots, my Celine sunglasses, a brown long sleeved shirt, my big white fur-lined cape and my cream winter hat that has loads of sparkles on it and my black Gucci handbag.  Not exactly hiking wear, I know!!

Marta brought her cute dog with her and we started walking.  We walked and chatted and laughed.  It was a muddy trail but that didn't bother me.  The scenery was phenomenal. I took loads of photos and sent them to Suzanne and asked if she wanted to go there for a walk sometime,

As we chatted I was telling her about moving and how I was torn between moving back to the city center and moving closer to work.  She then told me about the village she lives in.  Her village isn't far from work (she said it takes me exactly 13 minutes to get to and from work at rush hour) and it has nice bars, restaurants, shops and it is a younger village (the village I live in is quite....old...)  Plus it has a canal going through it!!!!  That was one thing I loved about living in the city center, I was near the water.

Before I knew it, we had finished our walk.  We had walked 5 miles!  I didn't even notice!

We sat down in the cafe that was near where we parked and had some coffee and cake.  We chatted more and and she said, I walk every Saturday, you are always welcome to join me.  So next Saturday, weather permitting, we are going to walk the canal in her village so I can see what it is like

When I got home, I looked online at the village where Marta lives.  The property prices are affordable!  I can get a better flat than I have now for the same price and in some cases, cheaper!  So it's a viable option!

By letting go of the niggly voice in my head about my confidence, I ended up having a lovely weekend.  I got out there with 2 fantastic people.  I got to see some fab places and now I have a possible lead on a new place to live! 

I need to make an effort to get out of the flat more.  There is a big world out there and I want to explore it, get my sense of adventure back!

I think it's part of the rebuilding process.  It takes time to get yourself back to where you need to be.  It's hard sometimes but always look forward.  I feel when I get out of this flat the healing will be complete. 

It takes a lot of time sometimes to get moving forward again, but it's ok.  Healing is a very personal thing.  Let go when you are ready.  Start with baby steps and just keep moving forward.

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher

Lots of love


The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxx

Saturday, 25 January 2020

On Getting Back to My Bettiness

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  It's a misty cool Saturday and I have to say that I am feeling fine!

As you all know, the last 3 years or so have been very up and down and unstable and crazy.  But as I sit here now, I think that things are kind of stabilizing

When I moved into my new place, I always had this fear that my old housemate would some how hunt me down and try to hurt me.  I know, stupid thoughts, but I was genuinely scared of her.  Now>  Not so much.

Since last April, I have slowly grown stronger.  My confidence is coming back.  I am clearing out the shit in my life.  As you saw from last week, I am clearing my flat out and my life out.

Yes, in April, there will be another flat move.  This time, it's not out of desperation but inspiration.  Why am I moving again?  Firstly, I saw my old housemate's fuck buddy in my local pub.  That's too close to me.  I just want to put the past away.  Secondly, my crazy neighbor who tries to go into my flat when I am not here (I know I was stupid to give her the key!) and thirdly.....I just belong back in the city center.  Plus this flat is falling apart. 

2 week's ago, the toilet broke, the windows are leaking in water so I have black mold and moldy smelling curtains.  Now there is an almighty stench from the bathroom.  If I compare these problems to last year, I will take these any day.

At work, when I am on my lunch, I look at all the flats that are out there in the area that I used to live.  I see the newer buildings with underground parking and views of the canal.  I cannot help but get excited.  In 2 and a half months, that will be my home!!!

Not only am I looking at flats, I have started being more Betty like!! 

Yesterday, I was surfing the net at work and saw a pair of leopard print stilettos. They were marked down from £69 to £20.  It would have been a crime to no purchase them.  So I did!  Plus in the great purge last week, I had to sadly get rid of my leopard print stilettos and my leopard print peep toes because I wore them out.  Yes, I literally wore them out!!  It was on sale and I needed them!!!!!!!  Yes, I think that is a very Betty thing to do!

And today.  Today I went to the salon to get my nails done (My nail technician is amazing!!!)  I decided to dress up and look good.

So I rocked a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a leopard print camisole a black blazer and a pair of black stilettos with an ankle strap.  I pulled my hair into a high pony tail and did my make up to perfection, I even added fake eyelashes (which are not so scary to put on after all!!).  I topped it off with my new favorite red lippy and my Ted Baker black handbag.  I felt like a million dollars!

I had to pick up a parcel in the same village as where the salon is. 

As I walked through the village to get my parcel, I realized why I didn't wear these heels often....the ankle strap was cutting into my heel/ankle.  But I remembered my Bettiness.  So I slowed my strut down and gritted my teeth through the pain.  Yes, the pain was immense!!!!  But fuck me, I felt so good!!!

I limped to the shop, picked my parcel up and hobbled to the salon.  As I got to the salon, I slowed down again, shook my ankle out, rolled my shoulders back and strutted into the salon not letting the strap digging into my ankle bother me.

I received a lot of compliments on my outfit.  There was a blogger who was getting her hair done and an ex Manchester United footballer popped in to give his daughter (who works there) some supplies.  I felt like I fit in.

I never felt so Betty!  I forgot about the strap digging into my ankle.  I remembered how I used to strut, shoulders back, and not giving a shit.  I remember that my red lippy was my armor.  Yes....I felt my power coming back to me.

I was in such good form!  The woman who does my nails works at a department store at the Clinique counter.  She told me to go to the department store where she works tomorrow and she will give me a free skincare consultation and if I want to purchase anything she will give me her discount.  I grinned!!!  Wearing my heels and purchasing cosmetics?  I believe that is a very Betty thing to do!!!

So after I finished with my appointment, I waved goodbye to the girls and strutted/hobbled back to my car.  At this point, though, I have to say that I was limping.

I had to do one more errand.  I had to go into my village where I live and drop the previous tenants post off.

This was a problem in 2 ways.

First these fucking heels were now crippling me. 

Secondly, I will have to speak to the estate agent.  Why is this a problem?  The guy who works for the estate agent made a pass at me when I went to the pub in my village one day.  He tried to actually shove his tongue down my throat...in the pub....yeah.  Awkward. 

I pushed him away and kind of avoided going to the estate agency to drop off the previous tenant's mail. 

But the mail was building up and I had to do something about it. 

So I thought how am I going to do this?

Luckily I had a pair of black boots in my car.  These boots were broken but passable.  (The bottom of the heel broke off so one shoe made a clop sound) 

I took my stilettos off and put the boots on.  I fixed my lippy, powdered my nose and thought, no fucker controls me.

I strutted into the estate agent and there he was.  I smiled and handed him the post.

Oh Betty!!  Did you have a nice Christmas, he asked.  Yes I did!  We made small talk for a bit.  Nothing too awkward

I then strutted out.  I popped into my local.  If my old flatmate's fuck buddy is there?  Bring it on.  You don't fuck with Betty!!!  I literally felt invincible.

I am now sitting in my little flat sipping a glass of rose studying my ankle.  I will wear the cuts from the ankle strap on my stilettos as a badge of honor.  Betty is coming back!!!

Each day I get stronger.  Each day, I get a little more of myself back. 

By April when I move into my new home, I think I will be back to full on Betty mode.  And I cannot fucking wait!!!

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes!  Keep your heads and standards high and your heels even higher

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxx





Sunday, 19 January 2020

On Clearing Out the Junk Cupboard and My Life

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!!  I hope that everyone is having the best day ever!

This past weekend has been amazing.  I actually cleared my spare room and the junk cupboard.  You know that cupboard?  The one that you don't know what is in it but you are sure that if you open it you'll get hit on the head by something flying out.  Yeah, that cupboard.

That was scary but not as scary as going through my shoes, bags and clothes. 

On Friday night after work, I thought, let's do this.  I messaged Suzanne and she helped me through the process.  So I ended up getting rid of 25 pairs of shoes and 8 handbags.  I also found my waterproof vibrator....seriously how did that end up with my shoes?

I contacted the estate agent that rented my flat out to me and told them that there was a lot of crap in the junk cupboard and they gave me permission to clear it out.  So yesterday I tackled it, got hit in the head by Christmas ornaments, I swore at my Christmas tree, made up some new cuss words in the process and after 2 hours I was triumphant!  I have a lovely clean hallway cupboard.

I also found out that I have a tendency of hoarding plastic bags and shopping bags that you buy at the grocery store!!!  I had literally a bag full of fucking bags.  Why?  Why do I need so many bags???  So I took a few and put them in my car.  Hopefully next time I am in the shops I will remember to take them with me!

So I got rid of 2 mops, 1 mop bucket, an ironing board, a broken vacuum cleaner and a broken space heater and a big wooden board.  The cupboard is now clean!!

I feel loads better now.  In total, I got rid of 7 garbage bags full of junk and 3 bags to go to the charity shop.  I rewarded myself today with a much needed hot bath and a glass of prosecco.  I put a Bobby Brown Exfoliating Face Mask (divine!!) on and a hair mask and watched Netflix in a scalding hot bath.  When I have a bath like to remove at least 9 layers of skin.  I came out looking like a lobster!

I have also been clearing out my friendship and relationships.

My friend Rita for example.  Rita is a friend of mine that I treasure.  When I was low, like really low when I lost my job in 2013, she was there for me.  She met me for dinner, checked in on me, and generally kept me sane.  Each temporary contract I got she applauded me and said she was proud of me.  If it wasn't for her, I would have probably fallen into a downward spiral.

But Rita has changed.  In 2014, she started behaving in a way that made me feel uncomfortable.  She is in a relationship and has a 7 year old son. She is also pursuing a relationship with a person that she works with who is married. 

Now I love both of these people.  We have had great times together but seriously....Rita, get a grip on yourself!!  He's married!!!  You're in a relationship!  You have a fucking kid!!!  You need to be focusing on that kid.

The kid is a nightmare.  He acts out and bullies other kids.  He's acting like this because his dad works stupid hours and can't be bothered and Rita is too immersed in her phone and this other person to notice that her kid is turning into an asshole.  (yes, you can call kids assholes)

The worst bit of this is that Rita is now snorting a lot of Columbian marching powder, if you know what I mean.  Last time I went out with her, she was shoveling it up her nose, I mean she was vacuuming this shit up!!!  She ended up getting drunk and started a fight with her sister in law.  She ended up going to her dad's house at stupid o clock and threatened to, and I quote, smash her sister in law's fucking head against the pavement.  Pleasant!!!

I know that Rita helped me out in the past. I have tried speaking to her and she just shrugs it off.  I have tried taking her out for dinner and talk her around.  This whole situation is affecting her physical and mental health.  She looks like a skeleton with all the weight that she has lost.  She isn't taking care of herself like she used to.  She has said that she is so unhappy in her relationship.

I have said, Rita, if you are so unhappy, leave.  Just leave!  You have rights!  Her house is in her name, not his. She could report him to the tax man for all the cash that he fella stashes in the house.  (He runs his own business. After dating a man who did the same...I learned a lot)  It would be tough at first, but she could do it easily.  Rita is very pretty.  She can have any man she wants.  I seriously don't understand this.

When I last saw her in October with the person that she is having an affair with (she is upset at him as he is actually spending time with his wife and not paying attention to her) she drunkenly demanded that we book a trip to Amsterdam for Valentines Day and demanded this this person join us.  When he wouldn't, she threw a temper tantrum and demanded that we go the week after

I stupidly booked 3 tickets.  The next day, the person that Rita has been Jonesing over told me he can't go.  Rita threw another tantrum

When I went home for Christmas, my dad and I were talking and he said that we need to surround ourselves with people that bring us up and not bring us down.  We need to be with people that aren't destructive

So I did something selfish.  I made up an excuse (it is partly true.) that work is getting busier.  We are implementing a new computer system and I am part of the implementation team and I cannot book off time in February.

I told her this on a message.  She just responded ok.  I haven't heard from her since and you know what?  I am ok with that. 

I think that I don't want to be in that chain of pain anymore.  I think that I want to be a selfish bitch and look after myself and surround myself with positive people that support me and don't bring me down with their pointless, self induced shit

The worst thing is when you try and give advice to people and they argue for their limitations.  Like they prefer to be a victim. You give a suggestion and they come back with "But...".  Seriously.  You just want to be a victim.  I call these people ask-holes.  As in they ask for your advice and then proceed to shoot it down with a prepared statement of victimhood.

It's ok to have a pity party every once an awhile, but when you make it a lifestyle choice?  Sorry.  I don't want to be part of that.

I'm distancing myself from Simon.  He has his new woman and he is happy and I am happy for him.

I'm distancing myself from Mr Wonderful and his friends.  They are quite negative and the Mr Wonderful situation isn't the best.  I feel that in the next 6 months or so that will fizzle out (it isn't bringing me discomfort.   I'll let go when I am ready)

I don't have a lot of friends and I am ok with that.  It's all about quality, not quantity.  Plus, I am being the biggest selfish bitch ever.  I am looking after my needs and taking care of my body.  And I am moving in April.  I want to concentrate on finding the right place and sorting myself out

I am on the up.  I don't want people dragging me down with stupid self induced drama. 

That's why I love Suzanne.  We have mini wobbles about things but we always help each other through.  I can talk about fashion with her.  I love seeing her artwork.  She makes me laugh and she is so supportive. That is the sort of person I want in my life.

I love being boring and focusing on the gym, healthy cooking, cleaning and work....for now.  Once I move, I will start dating again, going out and about and getting into mischief.  Now, though, is time for me to put myself first, mentally and physically, and concentrate on clearing out my closet and my life

Remember, It's better being lonely than with people that make you feel alone

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxx






Sunday, 12 January 2020

On the Big Clear Out

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!

I hope that you are all having the best Sunday ever!!!  I am having the best Sunday!

First, I got my talons cut down so I can actually type now!!!  I am rocking a cute nude/white and rose gold tape combo so I am pleased!!  I can type again!!  I can put my false eyelashes on without poking my eyes out!!!!  Life is great!

Sundays for me are all about me time.  I made a vow ages ago that Sundays would be sacrosanct and that it is time for me to do things  that I actually like doing!  So I took a hot bath, put a face mask and hair mask on and had a glass of prosecco and watched Netflix in the bath for a half an hour.  That is me time and I love it!!! 

This morning though I started my day differently.  I was in the kitchen cooking and I was looking in the cupboards and it just looked dire!!  So after my breakfast, I started making my lunches for the week by using my new slow cooker....God I'm getting old...and then I decided to do something about the clutter in the kitchen.

When I moved into this apartment, it was advertised as "Fully Furnished" but I didn't realise how "Fully Furnished" it was!!!  I have a load of dishes, glasses, tupperware plus loads of stuff that is in the hallway cupboard like 2 ironing boards, 3 mops and 2 vacuum cleaners.  Great

So I decided to sort the kitchen out.  I scrubbed and reorganised each cupboard.  All he extraneous stuff that I don't use, I put in a bag and put it in the spare room (That is going to be fun to clean out!!!)  Now my kitchen is clean and fab!!!  I looked around my apartment and realised that I need to do this in every room.  I am ok with that but one aspect is making me a bit anxious....my clothes and shoes

As you all know, I am a lover of shoes.  But the other day I was looking through my shoes and I thought....damn....I have a shit ton of shoes!!  Like a lot of shoes.  Like 2 wardrobes, a stand free shoe rack and 2 suitcases full!!!  I am moving again in April and it might be a good idea for me to let go?

For example.  Exhibit A:  The cute sparkly sandals I wore for when I was a bridesmaid for a wedding.  Cute?  Yes.  Pretty?  Yes.  Dainty? Yes.  Wearing.....TORTURE!!!

I mean, I think that there is still my blood on the ankle straps and the strap over the toes!!  They are gorgeous but fuck me!!  They cripple you!  Plus all the skin that they tore off my heels and toes!!  I think that if the government needs to get info out of people, just make them where these dainty little numbers and dance and within 30 seconds you will have all you need to know and more!!

I would eBay them (after disinfecting them obviously!) but they will get sent straight back for crippling the poor person that bought them.  Maybe I should let go? 


Do I need 7 pairs of black stilettos?  These are things that I need to consider.  In 3 months I'll have to move all these shoes.....again. 

Plus if I get rid of a few pairs, it's making way for more cute new shoes, right?  Right?  I don't know.  It just gives me anxiety. At work I can't wear stilettos.  I am constantly running back and forth across the road to the warehouse and doing that in 5 inch stilettos sucks.  So I have quite a collection of Converse and boots, which is ok!!! 

Yesterday when I got my nails done, I wore my nude patent peep toes and I loved it!!!  I forgot how much fun wearing stilettos is!  I felt like my old self, which is great!!  So on the weekends when I go out I need to wear my stilettos more.

I won't get rid of all of my stilettos just the ones that I don't see myself wearing.  It will be difficult but worth it I think.

A wise person said, when you get rid of old things, you are making way for new things. And I like that.  2020 is already showing promise of being an awesome year.  So I think that this year I will be gaining new experiences, new friends, a new relationship (I hope....yes, I need to get rid of Mr Wonderful) and a new home!!!  I am genuinely excited!!!

But for the time being, I am going to enjoy another glass of prosecco, enjoy the smell of the chili that I prepped in the slow cooker and enjoy watching the football.....while wearing my black Ted Baker Stilettos, of course!!

Until Next time Ragers and Ragettes, Keep your heels and head high and your heels even higher.

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage



Until next





Sunday, 5 January 2020

On 2020 - New Year New Adventures and a New Life

Happy New Year, Ragers and Ragettes!!

Here I am on a rainy, gross Sunday.  Never would I have thought this time last year that I would be where I am now. 

Last year I felt hopeless, sadness and fear.  A couple of times I wanted to end my life.

But here I am, in my own home, drinking a glass of red wine and watching the football without a care in the world.  (And looking at my nails, I really need to get them done.  I have my Betty Talons and they are long and I am struggling to type.  But they look good!!!!  But it sucks to type!!  Luckily I am getting them done on Saturday.)

Looking back on 2019, I planted a lot of seeds.  And this year, I have a feeling that they will grow

I have also realized that Mr Wonderful isn't for me.  He's nice, classy, well traveled...but I am just not feeling it.  Frankly, he irritates me.  So I am going to have to figure out how to break up with him

I also realized that I am over Simon completely.  How do I know this?

Well, I was getting ready to do my Sunday self care ritual when the door buzzer sounded.  I ran down stairs to open the door. (the door buzzer thing isn't working so I had to run down the stairs and physically open the door)  And there was Simon, his girlfriend and her little daughter.  I was shocked.  He came in and hugged me and his girlfriend's daughter ran up and hugged me.  I invited them up and we sat down and chatted.  The little girl found my vanity table with my make up on it and she started pointing and asking to try different items.  I asked Simon's girlfriend if it is ok and she smiled and said yes.  So I put some lipstick, glitter lip gloss, highlighter and my glitter hair spray on her and she was so happy she ran out to show her mother with such pride.  She kissed her mother on the cheek leaving a lipstick mark and then she ran to Simon and kissed him on the cheek and she ran to me and kissed me on the cheek.  I couldn't help but smile. 

This time last year, if this happened, I would have fallen apart.  But after his visit was over, and I shut the door I didn't feel anger, sick or resentment.  I felt, dare I say.....happy?  Just happiness that he was happy.  Him being happy doesn't take away from my happiness. 

So saying that, yes, I am actually very happy.  Seriously, I am!!!  Work is going from strength to strength.  I have finally been diagnosed with an under-active thyroid and I have finally been given medication.  The medication is working. I am feeling loads better.  The Mr Wonderful situation will resolve itself.  Mr Right is out there....he's probably up a tree and I need to save him

But I genuinely feel that 2017, I made a decision that made my world crash and burn, 2018, I was putting the fires out, 2019 I planted the seeds and 2020, those seeds are sprouting and I will harvest all I planted.  All the suffering and hurt has made me stronger, tougher, and now I have boundaries. I will never let myself be mistreated ever again.

But first things first, I need to get these nails cut!!!

Happy 2020, Ragers and Ragettes!!  I hope it is prosperous, happy and successful!!

Keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxx