On 2020 - New Year New Adventures and a New Life

Happy New Year, Ragers and Ragettes!!

Here I am on a rainy, gross Sunday.  Never would I have thought this time last year that I would be where I am now. 

Last year I felt hopeless, sadness and fear.  A couple of times I wanted to end my life.

But here I am, in my own home, drinking a glass of red wine and watching the football without a care in the world.  (And looking at my nails, I really need to get them done.  I have my Betty Talons and they are long and I am struggling to type.  But they look good!!!!  But it sucks to type!!  Luckily I am getting them done on Saturday.)

Looking back on 2019, I planted a lot of seeds.  And this year, I have a feeling that they will grow

I have also realized that Mr Wonderful isn't for me.  He's nice, classy, well traveled...but I am just not feeling it.  Frankly, he irritates me.  So I am going to have to figure out how to break up with him

I also realized that I am over Simon completely.  How do I know this?

Well, I was getting ready to do my Sunday self care ritual when the door buzzer sounded.  I ran down stairs to open the door. (the door buzzer thing isn't working so I had to run down the stairs and physically open the door)  And there was Simon, his girlfriend and her little daughter.  I was shocked.  He came in and hugged me and his girlfriend's daughter ran up and hugged me.  I invited them up and we sat down and chatted.  The little girl found my vanity table with my make up on it and she started pointing and asking to try different items.  I asked Simon's girlfriend if it is ok and she smiled and said yes.  So I put some lipstick, glitter lip gloss, highlighter and my glitter hair spray on her and she was so happy she ran out to show her mother with such pride.  She kissed her mother on the cheek leaving a lipstick mark and then she ran to Simon and kissed him on the cheek and she ran to me and kissed me on the cheek.  I couldn't help but smile. 

This time last year, if this happened, I would have fallen apart.  But after his visit was over, and I shut the door I didn't feel anger, sick or resentment.  I felt, dare I say.....happy?  Just happiness that he was happy.  Him being happy doesn't take away from my happiness. 

So saying that, yes, I am actually very happy.  Seriously, I am!!!  Work is going from strength to strength.  I have finally been diagnosed with an under-active thyroid and I have finally been given medication.  The medication is working. I am feeling loads better.  The Mr Wonderful situation will resolve itself.  Mr Right is out there....he's probably up a tree and I need to save him

But I genuinely feel that 2017, I made a decision that made my world crash and burn, 2018, I was putting the fires out, 2019 I planted the seeds and 2020, those seeds are sprouting and I will harvest all I planted.  All the suffering and hurt has made me stronger, tougher, and now I have boundaries. I will never let myself be mistreated ever again.

But first things first, I need to get these nails cut!!!

Happy 2020, Ragers and Ragettes!!  I hope it is prosperous, happy and successful!!

Keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxx