On Getting Out and About

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!

It's a windy Sunday here in the Northwest of England!  Apparently storm Ciara is causing some damage outside. 

So I have spent the day indoors, snuggled up nice and warm.  I'm watching the football and just relaxing.  It's a nice feeling!

As you all know, the last few years have been very up and down for me.  And recently I have been feeling like I am on an even keel.  I feel more positive, confident and happy in my life. 

Last week was an interesting week.  I went to see Suzanne and had a coffee and chat with her, I hurt my back (by getting up!  Weird!!  It is feeling loads better now though, thanks to heating pads and pain killers!), I had my performance review for work and I passed with flying colors.  My salary is going to be renewed in March.  It was a good meeting and I feel good about my future in my career.

But the biggest thing that happened this week, I actually went out.......twice!

Yes, I left my little flat 2 days in a row and I socialized!

Since I left Simon, my confidence has been very low.  I haven't been going out, even to go shopping.  All my shopping is done online.  The only time I have been going out is to the beauty salon to get my hair done or my nails done. 

So on Friday morning when Marta (name changed to protect the innocent) in the accounts department came to my desk to ask if I wanted to go on a hike this weekend with her, I thought why not.  I go out on hike with Suzanne a lot and I love being out and about.  She told me to meet her at a pub that was near the airport on Saturday morning.  I couldn't think of any nature spots near the airport....

Then on at about 2pm, a friend of mine texted me asking what I was doing.  I told her that I had no plans.  She was in Manchester as she was set to go out on a date with this guy she met online.  He was not being very open about their plans.  She didn't even know what time she was going to meet him!!!!!  I was like, girl.....seriously?  What a dick! 

As we chatted she was like, Betty, seriously, hes dicking me around!  So I thought, fuck it.  I'm not doing anything.  So I got home and changed into my PVC trousers, a low cut blouse and my boots. 
I curled my hair and did my make up and soon before you know it, I was out for the night.

I met my friend at her hotel and we had a few beers.  We then walked out to this trendy bar and had a bottle of wine and a good laugh. 

She said, Betty we need to do this more often.  I thought, yea, we do!

Her date finally showed up at around 11 so I thought, I'm not drunk, a bit tipsy, so I will go home and let them have a nice night.  I said goodbye and got back to my flat and got to bed.

I woke up the next day feeling good and I waited for my food shopping to be delivered.  After it was delivered I texted Marta and told her I was on my way.  She doesn't live far from me and we both arrived around the same time. 

It was a lovely sunny day.  I wore some jeans, brown riding boots, my Celine sunglasses, a brown long sleeved shirt, my big white fur-lined cape and my cream winter hat that has loads of sparkles on it and my black Gucci handbag.  Not exactly hiking wear, I know!!

Marta brought her cute dog with her and we started walking.  We walked and chatted and laughed.  It was a muddy trail but that didn't bother me.  The scenery was phenomenal. I took loads of photos and sent them to Suzanne and asked if she wanted to go there for a walk sometime,

As we chatted I was telling her about moving and how I was torn between moving back to the city center and moving closer to work.  She then told me about the village she lives in.  Her village isn't far from work (she said it takes me exactly 13 minutes to get to and from work at rush hour) and it has nice bars, restaurants, shops and it is a younger village (the village I live in is quite....old...)  Plus it has a canal going through it!!!!  That was one thing I loved about living in the city center, I was near the water.

Before I knew it, we had finished our walk.  We had walked 5 miles!  I didn't even notice!

We sat down in the cafe that was near where we parked and had some coffee and cake.  We chatted more and and she said, I walk every Saturday, you are always welcome to join me.  So next Saturday, weather permitting, we are going to walk the canal in her village so I can see what it is like

When I got home, I looked online at the village where Marta lives.  The property prices are affordable!  I can get a better flat than I have now for the same price and in some cases, cheaper!  So it's a viable option!

By letting go of the niggly voice in my head about my confidence, I ended up having a lovely weekend.  I got out there with 2 fantastic people.  I got to see some fab places and now I have a possible lead on a new place to live! 

I need to make an effort to get out of the flat more.  There is a big world out there and I want to explore it, get my sense of adventure back!

I think it's part of the rebuilding process.  It takes time to get yourself back to where you need to be.  It's hard sometimes but always look forward.  I feel when I get out of this flat the healing will be complete. 

It takes a lot of time sometimes to get moving forward again, but it's ok.  Healing is a very personal thing.  Let go when you are ready.  Start with baby steps and just keep moving forward.

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher

Lots of love


The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxx