On Clearing Out the Junk Cupboard and My Life

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!!  I hope that everyone is having the best day ever!

This past weekend has been amazing.  I actually cleared my spare room and the junk cupboard.  You know that cupboard?  The one that you don't know what is in it but you are sure that if you open it you'll get hit on the head by something flying out.  Yeah, that cupboard.

That was scary but not as scary as going through my shoes, bags and clothes. 

On Friday night after work, I thought, let's do this.  I messaged Suzanne and she helped me through the process.  So I ended up getting rid of 25 pairs of shoes and 8 handbags.  I also found my waterproof vibrator....seriously how did that end up with my shoes?

I contacted the estate agent that rented my flat out to me and told them that there was a lot of crap in the junk cupboard and they gave me permission to clear it out.  So yesterday I tackled it, got hit in the head by Christmas ornaments, I swore at my Christmas tree, made up some new cuss words in the process and after 2 hours I was triumphant!  I have a lovely clean hallway cupboard.

I also found out that I have a tendency of hoarding plastic bags and shopping bags that you buy at the grocery store!!!  I had literally a bag full of fucking bags.  Why?  Why do I need so many bags???  So I took a few and put them in my car.  Hopefully next time I am in the shops I will remember to take them with me!

So I got rid of 2 mops, 1 mop bucket, an ironing board, a broken vacuum cleaner and a broken space heater and a big wooden board.  The cupboard is now clean!!

I feel loads better now.  In total, I got rid of 7 garbage bags full of junk and 3 bags to go to the charity shop.  I rewarded myself today with a much needed hot bath and a glass of prosecco.  I put a Bobby Brown Exfoliating Face Mask (divine!!) on and a hair mask and watched Netflix in a scalding hot bath.  When I have a bath like to remove at least 9 layers of skin.  I came out looking like a lobster!

I have also been clearing out my friendship and relationships.

My friend Rita for example.  Rita is a friend of mine that I treasure.  When I was low, like really low when I lost my job in 2013, she was there for me.  She met me for dinner, checked in on me, and generally kept me sane.  Each temporary contract I got she applauded me and said she was proud of me.  If it wasn't for her, I would have probably fallen into a downward spiral.

But Rita has changed.  In 2014, she started behaving in a way that made me feel uncomfortable.  She is in a relationship and has a 7 year old son. She is also pursuing a relationship with a person that she works with who is married. 

Now I love both of these people.  We have had great times together but seriously....Rita, get a grip on yourself!!  He's married!!!  You're in a relationship!  You have a fucking kid!!!  You need to be focusing on that kid.

The kid is a nightmare.  He acts out and bullies other kids.  He's acting like this because his dad works stupid hours and can't be bothered and Rita is too immersed in her phone and this other person to notice that her kid is turning into an asshole.  (yes, you can call kids assholes)

The worst bit of this is that Rita is now snorting a lot of Columbian marching powder, if you know what I mean.  Last time I went out with her, she was shoveling it up her nose, I mean she was vacuuming this shit up!!!  She ended up getting drunk and started a fight with her sister in law.  She ended up going to her dad's house at stupid o clock and threatened to, and I quote, smash her sister in law's fucking head against the pavement.  Pleasant!!!

I know that Rita helped me out in the past. I have tried speaking to her and she just shrugs it off.  I have tried taking her out for dinner and talk her around.  This whole situation is affecting her physical and mental health.  She looks like a skeleton with all the weight that she has lost.  She isn't taking care of herself like she used to.  She has said that she is so unhappy in her relationship.

I have said, Rita, if you are so unhappy, leave.  Just leave!  You have rights!  Her house is in her name, not his. She could report him to the tax man for all the cash that he fella stashes in the house.  (He runs his own business. After dating a man who did the same...I learned a lot)  It would be tough at first, but she could do it easily.  Rita is very pretty.  She can have any man she wants.  I seriously don't understand this.

When I last saw her in October with the person that she is having an affair with (she is upset at him as he is actually spending time with his wife and not paying attention to her) she drunkenly demanded that we book a trip to Amsterdam for Valentines Day and demanded this this person join us.  When he wouldn't, she threw a temper tantrum and demanded that we go the week after

I stupidly booked 3 tickets.  The next day, the person that Rita has been Jonesing over told me he can't go.  Rita threw another tantrum

When I went home for Christmas, my dad and I were talking and he said that we need to surround ourselves with people that bring us up and not bring us down.  We need to be with people that aren't destructive

So I did something selfish.  I made up an excuse (it is partly true.) that work is getting busier.  We are implementing a new computer system and I am part of the implementation team and I cannot book off time in February.

I told her this on a message.  She just responded ok.  I haven't heard from her since and you know what?  I am ok with that. 

I think that I don't want to be in that chain of pain anymore.  I think that I want to be a selfish bitch and look after myself and surround myself with positive people that support me and don't bring me down with their pointless, self induced shit

The worst thing is when you try and give advice to people and they argue for their limitations.  Like they prefer to be a victim. You give a suggestion and they come back with "But...".  Seriously.  You just want to be a victim.  I call these people ask-holes.  As in they ask for your advice and then proceed to shoot it down with a prepared statement of victimhood.

It's ok to have a pity party every once an awhile, but when you make it a lifestyle choice?  Sorry.  I don't want to be part of that.

I'm distancing myself from Simon.  He has his new woman and he is happy and I am happy for him.

I'm distancing myself from Mr Wonderful and his friends.  They are quite negative and the Mr Wonderful situation isn't the best.  I feel that in the next 6 months or so that will fizzle out (it isn't bringing me discomfort.   I'll let go when I am ready)

I don't have a lot of friends and I am ok with that.  It's all about quality, not quantity.  Plus, I am being the biggest selfish bitch ever.  I am looking after my needs and taking care of my body.  And I am moving in April.  I want to concentrate on finding the right place and sorting myself out

I am on the up.  I don't want people dragging me down with stupid self induced drama. 

That's why I love Suzanne.  We have mini wobbles about things but we always help each other through.  I can talk about fashion with her.  I love seeing her artwork.  She makes me laugh and she is so supportive. That is the sort of person I want in my life.

I love being boring and focusing on the gym, healthy cooking, cleaning and work....for now.  Once I move, I will start dating again, going out and about and getting into mischief.  Now, though, is time for me to put myself first, mentally and physically, and concentrate on clearing out my closet and my life

Remember, It's better being lonely than with people that make you feel alone

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxx