Hey Ragers and Ragettes!
It’s a sunny but cool day here in St Helens. Today I am rocking my red frilled blouse,
bootcut jeans, cowboy boots and my favorite lippy of all time. It’s Too Faced Melted Matte in a shade called
“Lady Balls”. It’s a velvety red color
that is very, very similar to the iconic Mac lippy shade Ruby Woo. It stays all day and even better, it’s
cruelty free. I’ve started to put all my
cosmetics and skin care to cruelty free as I don’t feel that little guinea pigs
and rabbits should have to suffer for me to look good.
Well, the breakup is done.
Now here is the aftermath. I have
been a very busy Betty for the last few days.
On Monday I had to go to my old flat and get the cleaners in
to clean it for when I hand over the keys to the landlord. On Monday, while the flat was being cleaned,
I viewed 2 properties. One was occupied
by a smoker. The room was nice but too
small. Thanks but no thanks.
The second property I viewed was a house share with a nice
older (much older, say late 50’s) Jewish gentleman named Paul (names have been
changed to protect the innocent). This
was the property with the walk in closet.
The room itself is well….gorgeous!
Hard wood floors, my own bathroom (en-suite) and a walk in closet (he
had me at walk in closet!). He will
allow me to bring my guinea pigs with me (there is plenty of room for them in
my room) and this property is 2 miles from my new job and 6 miles from Suzanne.
After viewing the room, Paul and I chatted for an hour. We laughed and were in constant
conversation. He’s a really lovely
guy. He is a recruitment agent and he
works from home 2 days a week. He has an
office in Manchester city centre. He goes to the gym and eats healthily. He likes football and is quite relaxed. He offered me the room and I accepted.
There is one little issue.
I would only be able to move in on November 10th as he as a
temporary lodger in for 3 weeks. I am
praying that this lodger falls through or leaves early.
When I got in on Monday, Simon was waiting for me with a big
bouquet of flowers with a sign that said “Come away with me”. I must admit, my stomach lurched. He was sobbing again. It broke my heart. Seeing him cry has been the worst part of
this whole process. I would never want to
make someone cry. And, yes, I do care
about him. Love him? No.
Tuesday, he stayed at home as it couldn’t face going into
work. So I went in and I had to leave
early because I had to hand my keys over, pop in and get my nails done (It was
a mandatory goddess maintenance!!) I got
back to work and pretended that everything was ok.
The girl that replaced me when I first left asked me what
was going on. Simon told her on Monday
that we had broken up. So I told her the
truth. I told her exactly what had happened. I got my dream job. I don’t love Simon anymore and I needed to
get out. She actually listened and
wished me good luck. No mean thoughts or
words.
When I got back to the house, Simon was on the couch on his
laptop. We talked civilly and watched TV
together.
Yesterday Simon was in great form!!!!! He and I were laughing and joking and
chatting like old times. It was like
being with my best friend.
It was the same today.
Now either he has accepted this and we are going to act
civilly and I will work my notice and then easily move out or he is in denial
and the next 4 weeks are going to very awkward.
We do have a laugh.
I haven’t been leading him on. We hug and look after each other. At work, I must admit I am doing my best work
that I have ever done for him. The
business has been having an issue with cash flow and I found out one of the reasons. There is an issue with the shipping calculations
and we are basically not making any money on shipments. So today we have worked through it. Again, I am happy and relieved but also wary….
You see, Simon and I need to have the discussion about the
house. Now, the situation is this. When the mortgage was done, it was done on my
salary and not Simon’s as he only claims a basic wage. But he was the one that put all the money
down for the deposit and he has paid for everything with a pot of money that we
had from the refund from our deposit on the flat that we rented. I have not contributed a penny to the
house. The only thing that have done is
paid for food for both of us.
So, the rule of law, as I understand it (and I could be
wrong) is that he needs to either buy me out (which would be nothing) and he
needs to prove that he can afford the house on his own. As he gets a basic wage, he would be rejected. There is a way around this. He can pay himself my wage for 3 months and
then he can prove that he can buy me out.
Now as I haven’t contributed a penny to this house, I don’t get anything
and you know what? I am cool with
that. I just want my freedom. Or he can sell the house. And again, as he put all the money in, I
would happily give my portion over. I
just want freedom. I could get his
parents to “buy me out” and take my portion.
There are possibilities. But I
have learned a lesson from this. If you don’t
feel right about something, fuck other people’s feelings.
I think that we don’t like to have confrontation or upset
people so we go along with things that we don’t like. We need to stop doing that and stand up and
say “No. I do not want that!!” So next time I am faced with a similar situation,
I know what I need to do.
Since I have broken up with Simon, I have to say, I feel….I
feel like a weight has been taken off my shoulders. I feel like I am on the right path to get my
life together and to have the life that I want.
The end game is to get my own place, so staying with Paul
will be temporary as I can save a lot of money each month.
So I am taking one day at a time, trying to be as sensitive
to Simon’s feelings (we haven’t made our split “official” yet and I think that
I am going to do that when I move out.) and just be the best that I can
be. It’s been emotionally draining. I am exhausted but I know that this is
temporary. I think by mid-November I will
be in a better situation. I’ll be in my
new place, I’ll be in my new job and I would have said good-bye to my old
life.
Yes, the next 4 weeks (its 4 weeks until I leave St Helens
and over 3 weeks until I leave this job) will be trying. I will have great days. I’ll have low days. I am just going to take each day as it
comes. Be grateful for what I do have
and take control of my future.
So until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your heads and
standards high and your heels even higher!
Lots of love
The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxx
No comments:
Post a Comment