The Fourth of July Part 2 – The Party

Hey Ragers and Ragettes! It’s a gorgeous day here in St Helens.  It’s warm and I am rocking my bootcut jeans, my fuchsia cami, my cream blazer, and my wooden platform sandals and my melted candy lipstick.  I’m getting used to my new hair colour still and I guess that it is growing on me.  Well, when it grows it will look better I think.

I needed to wait a few days to write this post as a lot happened and a lot needed to be thought through.  If I carry on a bit, please bear with me.

Well I wanted to have a fourth of July party as I had a fabulous outfit to wear (a retro styled halter neck belted blue jumpsuit with my wooden platform wedges and cheeky blue vintage scarf) and I hadn’t been able to wear it yet.  So I organized for the Amsterdam crew to come to work and have a few beers and a barbecue.

Rita arrived at my house and straight away was analyzing every text still from Jeff.  I was praying that this wasn’t going to be my whole night.

We loaded the car up and I drove to the warehouse and started setting up.  We took the black couch, the chairs and tables and set them up outside.   The lads started to arrive and they all flocked to Rita.  I thought great.  She will stop talking about Jeff and have a good time?  Nothing could prepare me for what was about to happen.

I made a point that I didn’t want to drink.  I was driving and riding on the back of a fabulous weight loss triumph I didn’t want to consume more unnecessary calories.  It was my choice.  Simon backed me and just didn’t want to get a messy head, because, Ragers and Ragettes, I CANNOT HANDLE MY DRINK.  When I drink, it gets very messy.  I either get very happy and sloppy or weepy and melodramatic.  I don’t want either.  I had my eyelashes done and I didn’t want to fuck them up.

So I was floating around chatting to everyone.  Everyone was having a few beers and we were all chatting.

Then Paddy rocked up with this brother and his new employee, Shane*.  (Name has been changed)  Shane is a very, very, good looking, young muscly man.  Very easy on the eye and very cheeky.  He saw the beautiful Rita and was drawn to her like a magnet.  They were chatting and the rest of us were giggling saying that they were going to end up in bed.  (She is still in a relationship and still is messing around with  Jeff)

I sat down next to Rita as she was giving me the help me signal....it really wasn’t I don’t think because she was drunk.  Already.  She slurred her words and put her arm around my shoulders and started squeezing my right boob.  Betty, she slurred.  Why aren’t you drinking?  Are you not having a good time?  Is Simon not letting you?

I said, no I am not drinking because I lost some weight, had some great results and I don’t want to mess that up. 

I think that Simon isn’t letting you drink, Betty.  I bet he’s not letting you drink, she slurred. 

I repeated my answer.  No, this was my choice and I didn’t want to drink.  She then threw a strop and said, well  thought that we were going out in town after.

 I said, erm, no.  If the lads arranged that then that is up to them, not me.

This same conversation was going on for about 5 minutes.  Paddy must have seen me looking uncomfortable and he came over and started chatting to Rita 

I slipped away and went to see if Simon wanted some help with the food.

Before I knew it, I heard Rita shrieking “Oh stop it you!”  I turned to see the lads throwing ice down her top.  I walked over to see if she was ok, and she was giggling and taking the ice and putting it in her bra and rubbing it on her nipples.

She then started snap chatting this and taking plenty of boob shots.  All the guys were lapping this up. 

Being sober, I seriously didn’t know what to think. Here is a woman....in a relationship and has a child acting like a desperate woman.  Wanting men to grope, idolize, and adore her.

She then got up and announced, because we are not going out I am going to change into my joggers (pajama bottoms).  She stumbled into the office and I assumed she went to the bathroom.

Paddy and a few of the lads followed her.

I noticed that we ran out of ice so I walked into the office through to the warehouse past the open bathroom door...

I walked into the warehouse and there was Rita in her thong bending over to put her jogging bottoms in front of half of my staff.....including Simon!!!!! 

As soon as she clocked I was there she drunkenly started to complain, guuuuuyyyyyss, don’t look at me when I change, she whined.  Simon looked at me, I looked at him back with a look that was sad and confused.

I simply turned around and walked back through the office and to the outside.  Rita was chatting to Paddy loudly.  I walked around the side and tried not to cry.    

I then came back to the party and Shane cornered me demanding to know why I wasn’t drinking.  I told him, because I don’t want to.

He pushed and said, I don’t know someone fully until I drink with them.   I glanced over and Rita was visibly upset chatting to Paddy as she smoked a cigarette 

I lit one myself and chatted more to Shane.  I noticed that Simon sat down on the couch and Rita sat next to him and was chatting animatedly to him.  She then started pushing her body into his.  God, she was wasted!!!!

I nodded and was half in conversation with Shane then I saw the one thing that made me feel sick.....Simon’s arm was resting casually on the top of the couch.  It had slipped down and was around Rita...his hand on the small of her back....he then started to rub the small of her back...the way he did when we lie n bed together.  She seemed to cuddle even closer to Simon. 

I looked down at my body.  Ragers and Ragettes.  I felt fat and ugly.  There was skinny Rita with her perky fake tits and pretty mane of hair.   I smoothed my short unruly pixie crop down.  I had never felt so inadequate in all my life.

Rita caught my eye she must have seen me looking like I had been kicked in the head.  She got up and stumbled towards me whimpering.

Betttyyyyyyy she whined.  I didn’t mean it she said.  She took my hand and we went around the side and sat on the curb.  She slurred, Betty I didn’t mean to strip off in front of Simon, I promise I didn’t mean anything...she rambled on and I just half listened.  She then started to go on about why I don’t have children and that she thought I wasn’t having children because Simon doesn’t want to.   She thinks that I want children.  I don’t.  I never told her that I did.

Simon came over and I tried to change the conversation but she kept rabbiting on.  My head was hurting. I was doing everything I could to not burst into tears.  Then Simon saved me.....he threw his guts up.   Got up to get him some water and a cool cloth and when I returned Rita was draped over him.  I felt like I was useless.

I handed him a glass of water and started to soothe him.  He took a few sips and said, I actually feel better.   I smiled and got up and returned to the rest of the guests.

I sat down and one of my work lads started chatting to me.  Rita sat down on the couch and was snuggling into Simon again and they were having a heated discussion about my fertility and children....Simon was telling her that we discussed children and we don’t want them and she told him that I was lying and that I don’t want children. 

That argument went on the rest of the night. 

The party came to a natural conclusion and we all packed up and went back to my flat. Rita was complaining that everyone drank her drink and smoked her cigarettes....erm......no, she drank her own drink and smoked all of her cigarettes!!!  Her boyfriend was picking her up so I had to wait until he came to pick her up.  She babbled on about Jeff and my barren womb and told me a baby would make everything better.  I was in a state of shock and just mumbled something about timing.  Finally her fella picked her up. 

I undressed and got into bed facing away from Simon. Simon put his arm around me and kissed my shoulder and my back and told me that he loved me.  A tear rolled down my cheek and I didn’t know what to think.

 I had a shit night’s sleep. 

I don’t know what to think about what happened. Was Rita trying to shit stir?  Was she just being a stupid drunk?  I haven’t spoken to her since and I don’t know if I want to.  I thought that she was my friend.

So I sit here, 6 days after the event, feeling numb.  Simon has been extra nice to me.   I have cried.  I have felt sad.  I have felt inadequate.  

Do pretty girls get a "Get Out Of Jail Free Card"?  Because they are pretty does this make this sort of behaviour acceptable???  Do us bigger girls when we are a hot mess not get the same privilege?  I am seriously confused.  My head is mashed and I seriously don't know what to think.

So Ragers and Ragettes, I have a lot to figure out.  Luckily my Gay Best Friend is coming over this weekend.  I hope that he can give me some perspective.

So until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your heads and standards high and your heels even higher

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxx