Self-Confidence and a Second Date with the Danish Delight

I hope that you Ragers and Ragettes are doing well today.

I woke up this morning feeling a bit groggy and still glowing from last night’s date with Simon*. I could still feel his kisses on my lips and down my neck…I could smell him on the clothes I wore last night. I also woke up to a text from Jan* saying that he couldn’t wait to see me tonight. God I couldn’t wait to see him!

So today as I was doing my other duties, I decided to rock my black trousers, a quirky sundress with Russian Dolls on it, a black belt, my black cardigan and my ballet pumps. I put little make up on and didn’t wash my hair (it still looked fab from the hairdressers and tonight before I see Jan I will wash it and do it nicely) and when I strutted in I saw the beautiful Suzanne looking positively glowing! I was going to ask what moisturiser she was using because she looked so happy and radiant. She and I chatted on the stairs and several of her problems are working themselves out and Rick gave her the loving that she needed. I am so happy for her! She’s the best and deserves to be happy. Honestly, I have never met a girl that I have clicked with like Suzanne. She’s like the sister I have always wanted and the thing I like the most about her? She puts me in my place when I act stupid.

At lunch Suzanne and I walked to the shop and we started talking about various things. I was saying to her how my mind was blown. Tonight I will be seeing a hot, sexy, Danish man who wants me to punish him, who wants to rub my feet, who calls me beautiful, and who tonight wants to meet me on the bridge where 2 souls meet…sigh….why was I feeling so scared? Why was I thinking that this was going to end in disaster? Why did I feel like I was totally punching above my weight?

When I look in the mirror I don’t see a “beautiful” dominatrix type woman…I just see…well…Betty. Overweight, skint, crazy, silly, neurotic Betty. I don’t see what Jan sees. It’s something that I have struggled with for a long time. I am not fishing for compliments or anything like that. I just don’t see myself as beautiful. I would say average. It’s hard for me to take compliments as when I was growing up, I was the ugly smart one and my sister was the pretty talented one. And that has always stayed with me. The fact that I have had to go online also makes me feel a bit odd about my looks (not that there is anything wrong with that at all!!!!). I always wanted a man to look at me and I look at him and we fall in love instantly and you know and live happily ever after…

Suzanne once said to me, One day I want to you see how other people see you Betty. You are beautiful. I can’t see it. I do hope one day I can. But Suzanne suffers with insecurity too. She’s the original goddess and I don’t see how. I mean, she has the prettiest smile, sparkling eyes, beautiful skin, lovely blonde hair and a husband who is crazy about her. How can she suffer from self-confidence issues? I think with all the air brushing and images of skinny and unattainable women that are being fed to us constantly, us women feel vulnerable and inadequate. But we are all beautiful in our own ways. And as one of my favourite lines from one of my favourite songs says, “I’m not beautiful like you…I’m beautiful like me.” And tonight, that was going to be my mantra.

The day dragged on and finally when the clock ticked to 4 I was up like a shot and was ready to get ready and see Jan. I decided on a black and white short body con dress with my black studded shoes (thank you Suzanne for the recommendation!!!). And with the body con comes the appropriate sucking in knickers.....My new do looked amazing and my make-up, perfect! I took a deep breath and headed to our meeting point…the green bridge (or the bridge connecting two souls)

I put some music on to get me in the mood. "Full Circle" by Half Moon Run was on and it almost made me cry. I kept thinking what am I doing here???? He's premier league and I'm second division. I turned and there he was. My heart fluttered. He wrapped his arms around me and I melted into his embrace. He pit his arm around my waist and we started walking to the restaurant.

Goddamnit!!!! Here I am rocking some fierce heels and there is every stiletto wearing woman's worst enemy.....cobbles. His grip around my waist felt firmer. He guided me over the cobbles. We chatted on our way to the restaurant. When we got there, I bought us some drinks and we sat down in a quiet corner. He took my hand instantly and we chatted. The conversation flowed naturally and easily. We finished our drinks and he bought a bottle of red. Then, Ragers and Ragettes, he kissed me. Not like last time but he full on kissed me. A shiver went up through my spine. My body tingled. We kept talking. We looked at the clock and decided to order dinner. I bought dinner (he bought tapas on our first date it was only fair) and we continued to chat. During the conversation he cut in and said "Betty, you have the most beautiful eyes. I blushed. And I mean proper blushed. I couldn't believe it.

Our food came (we got a tapas sort of serving platter) and we ate and continued to chat. It was a fab meal and the atmosphere and company was amazing. I was in heaven,

We finished dinner and he turned to me and said, will you come back to mine tonight. God damn it. I wanted to go back to his and rock his world. Considering it was a school night and the fact that I had my sucking in panties on I figured that it wouldn't be a good idea!!!! The embarrassment!!!so we planned ahead. Ragers and Ragettes, he's coming over on Tuesday night to Rage towers. He's staying the night!!!! I am taking him to work (he works down the road) so I have something to look forward to!!! I looked at he clock...it was midnight. No way could it be midnight!!! The lights came on in the restaurant. I looked at him and said I don't want to finish this little this glass. He said whys that? I said because that means tonight is over...and I have to say goodbye. He said it's not goodbye but good night. He kissed me passionately. I melted a bit more. I drained my glass. We walked out and he took my hand. We strolled back and chatted. He stopped and kissed me again, how my heart skipped a beat. He's too perfect!!!!

We got to the apartment blocks close to the green bridge. I told him how self conscious I was. He told me that I was beautiful. I cannot believe that. At all.

Then we got to the green bridge where it all started tonight. I held him and we kissed. He told me, here tonight our souks became one. My knees went weak. We kissed again and I strutted back to Rage Towers.

So here I am in bed...still feeling his like on mine. Ragers send Ragettes, man has won this. I'm sorry Simon. Jan is what I want.

So here I lay in my bed. Smiling like an idiot still feeling his kisses on my neck. He's coming to mine on Tuesday!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeekkkkkkk!!!

Any way, good night Ragers and Ragettes, sweet dreams to all

Lots of love

Betty Rage xxxxxxx