Hi Ragers and Ragettes!!! Spring has finally sprung….I think so….I decided to rock my purple, grey and fuchsia wrap around dress, no tights (I am now refusing to shackle my legs with tights….plus my legs have been shaved and lotioned so I am smooth and soft!!), my patent black peep toe shoes, and I have topped it all off with a big funky purple flower in my Betty Rage signature black bob today. Some people passed comments about the flower in my hair (I didn’t realise that a purple flower was so provocative!!) but my little office pookie, Mark (who is fabulously gay) said that I looked very pretty and the flower was fab. I wear flowers in my hair quite a bit. It goes along with my vintage/rockabilly style.
I had the lovely Simon over last night and as I couldn’t afford to go out for dinner (my bank balance and credit card can’t take anymore abuse!), I decided to cook Simon some dinner. Yes, you read that right, Ragers and Ragettes!!! I, Betty Rage, the ultimate kitchen-phobe decided to attempt to cook Simon a meal. Why? Because the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, or so I have been told!
I decided on steak. I had 2 great teachers when it came to cooking steak. My dad taught me how to cook it on a barbeque but my “comfort friend” showed me how to cook it in my kitchen using a griddle pan. (I also learned from that night that it’s not a good idea to cook steak naked…boiling oil splashing up on your bare skin….OUCH!!!!!!!!! ) I remember him telling me to rub oil on the steaks, season with some sea salt and cracked black pepper and turn the heat down once it gets hot, and I remember him telling me to let the steak sit for at least 30 minutes at room temperature prior to cooking.
Well, yesterday at lunch, I walked with the gorgeous Suzanne to the shop as I needed to purchase the said steak and some salad to go with it. Now Suzanne is a woman of many skills. One of them being cooking. The woman is amazing when it comes to cooking!!! Eating food prepared by Suzanne is a religious experience! So I asked her what she thought that I should do when it comes to cooking a steak and making dinner for a man. She confirmed that you do let the steak sit out at room temperature for longer than 30 minutes. And when we got back to work, she suggested that I put the steak and salad in the boot of my little car. So I took her advice nervously but went with it.
When work was finally done, I sped home (top down….amazing!!!!!) back to Rage Towers. I started to clean up (I don’t think that it’s attractive to invite a guy over while your laundry is hanging out to dry….especially when you have quite a collection, like I do, of sucking in knickers and shape wear….screw condoms, that’s the best contraception!!!) and make it look tidy. I mean, I am old fashioned in some ways. My parents raised me to be respectable and to take care of my things. So my flat is usually immaculate. One is usually blinded by how clean the bathroom is. My kitchen sparkles and you can pretty much eat off the floor. These principles were instilled in me by my mama.
Mama, I feel, was the ultimate domestic goddess. She kept a very clean house, kept my sister and I in line (You didn’t dare put a foot wrong or my mama would kill you….you think I’m kidding? I’m not afraid of nuclear holocaust, the Taliban can torture me all they want but when my mama shoots me “the look”, yeah, that shit is scary!!!), cooked like a top chef at a top restaurant, was the perfect wife and always looked fucking good while doing it! She never wore trousers and didn’t own a pair of jeans. Mama had “house dresses”, “house skirts”, blouses, house shoes (different from slippers) and she cleaned while her hair was perfectly waved and with a full face of make-up. I think culturally it’s something that those of us of Italian descent aspire to. To be the best at everything. I now look back and realise how much it took a toll on my mama’s sanity. She has an eating problem which comes out of a feeling of lack of control in your own life. So by being in total control, does it make you feel like you have none at all?
I mean this day in age us woman have a lot of pressure on our shoulders. We are expected to have the body of Miranda Kerr, have the business skills of Michelle Mone (CEO of the Ultimo Lingerie brand and a personal hero of mine), parenting skills of Jo Frost, the wittiness of Tina Fey and the bedroom skills of Jenna Jameson. All that pressure. And if we stand up for ourselves, we get comments like, “awwwww it’s that time of the month?” Or “what a bitch”.
Well guess what. Sometimes being a lovely lady and a sweetie doesn’t get the job done. You have flip the bitch switch. Why? Bitches get things done. Pure and simple.
I’m sorry about that, I digress.
So when Rage Towers was looking even better I received a text from Simon to say that he arrived. I buzzed him in and when he came up (even though I looked rough as shit) he said, You are so beautiful and he kissed me deeply. Passionately. It was lovely.
I poured him a JD and coke and started on making dinner. I was so nervous. He loves his steak well done, me? I like mine medium-rare to medium. I was beyond nervous doing this for him. He got up and wrapped his arms around my waist. He kissed my neck gently. I felt at ease instantly.
I finished cooking the steaks and I waited for him to take a bite and let me know what he thought. He chewed thoughtfully….
He turned and smiled and said, very good. It was a fist pump moment. I took a bite into mine…ermmm…well I think I heard it mooing still. Eeeeeeeeekkk!! I pretended to like it though. We ate and watched TV, something on the crime channel and when we were finished, I took the plates away, washed them and we decided to settle in and watch a film.
I lit some candles and we got into our jammies (mine consisted of a vest and little shorts and his a short sleeved shirt and baggy trousers) and he laid on the couch and I rested with my back against his chest. I put a blanket over us and we settled in and watched a film.
When the film finished we cleaned ourselves up, removed our jammies and got into bed. I felt so comfortable with him next to me. We started kissing and well….let’s just say that I went to sleep with a massive smile on my face and so did he….
I didn’t sleep so well. I am not used to having a man laid next to me in bed throughout the night. I get scared that I am going to do something stupid, like snore, fart, talk, drool or elbow him in the face.
But there was a slight issue…Simon snores. As I really like him, I don’t know how to approach this. I mean, I can’t slap him or elbow him in the ribs…he’s too cute and lovely but I hate having my sleep disturbed. This is a huge quandary indeed.
So when my alarm went off, he spooned me and started to kiss my neck and wrapped his arms around my waist. I felt tired but not cranky. He whispered in my ear, good morning beautiful. I really didn’t want to get up. I turned over, rested my head on his chest and kissed the funky tattoo that he has on his chest. He touched my face and ran his fingers through my hair. I felt so comfortable with him. I didn’t mind that he ran his hands over my wobbly bits. I pulled the duvet off of us and we both got into the shower. As I washed my hair, he started to wash my body. I felt like I was in heaven. He scrubbed my back, kissed me under the shower. It felt right.
We got out of the shower and dried off and I started to get ready to go. We chatted and laughed about the day ahead. He was going to be so busy!!! I probably was but I have 9 more working days and I really wasn’t arsed about work at all. I just have the mind-set…go in, get your pay check and go home.
We finished getting ready…I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. I’ll miss you, I whispered. So will I baby, he said back. We kissed passionately. I looked at the time, I had to go.
We walked downstairs hand in hand and he walked me to my car. I opened my door and put the key into the ignition and turned and kissed him again. He looked at me and said I have something you will like, stay put. He went to his Land Rover, opened the door, rooted around and reappeared. He handed me a CD. He smiled and said, it’s the Death Proof Soundtrack.
Now going on what I was discussing yesterday, music is so important!! Death Proof is possibly one of the shittiest Tarantino films ever made but it has the best soundtrack. It’s full of Tarantinoesque music. Very rockabilly, very Johnny Cash like.
I smiled and put it into my stereo. I thanked him with a massive hug and kissed him good bye one more time and I drove to work with the biggest smile on my face ever rocking out to a fabulous soundtrack. Not even the petrol light going on and flashing made me feel uneasy.
I may not be like my mama domestic-wise but with a good man next to me, who makes me feel like I am a goddess, I think that I can settle for that and do my chores rocking my yoga pants, fleece, hair scraped back and make-upless. The way that Simon makes me feel, I think I could pass for a domestic goddess….
Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, stay fabulous!!
Lots of love
Betty Rage xxxxxxx
P.S. As always all names are changed to protect the innocent...but in most cases the not so innocent!!
No comments:
Post a Comment