On Fashion and Finding Your Own Look

Happy Monday, Ragers and Ragettes!! 

Yes you read that right, Happy Monday!  It was a happy Monday for me.  Why?  Well, I got up when my alarm went off, dragged my ass to the gym, donned my all-time favourite vintage scarlet coloured dress, paired with my black tights (I cannot wait until I can throw these horrible tights in the drawer and not have to look at them until mid-September!!) and my leopard print skyscrapers and my black velour blazer. 

I didn’t just walk into work, I strutted into work looking like I had it going on.  And guess what…I do.  The looks I received this morning, the compliments.  I had it going on today. 

Suzanne came over to me looking fabulous.  She was rocking a gorgeous lip colour!!  I am a believer that unless you are going out you should either go for a smokey fabulous eye look or keep your eyes quite plain and rock pop lip colour.  My usual look (when I had money!) was to get my eyelashes done nice and dramatic and then rock my signature red on my lips. (When I get my first pay check from my new job at the end of May, guess who’s booking in to get her nails and eyelashes done???)  Lately I have been donning my red lips, and I have put burgundy lipliner on my eyes to make my green eyes look more intense.  (Yes you read that right….lip liner…it’s softer, and more dramatic…and trust me that is the only drama that I want in my life!!!)  So Suzanne had the look today that I like.  A bit of mascara on the eyes and this mulberry pop of colour on the lips.  Instant class, instant impact and fabulous in every way!!!!  And it was a stain look about it which again I think is really lovely.  Sometimes gloss can be too gloopy but by using a lip pencil it looks less done and Suzanne ticked all the boxes today!

I absolutely love clothes and shoes, make up  and anything fashion!!!  The thing is that I have been struggling for money for the last 5 and a half years (mostly my own fault but also the fault of having a low paid job) so it’s been awhile since I have been able to indulge in one of my major passions….shopping and pampering!!!!!

I have a very distinct look about me.  I am unusual looking to begin with; I have an Italian mum and a South African father.  I take after my mum in the looks department, that’s for sure!! 

I struggled finding my feet when it came to fashion when I was younger.  Being from a small town, we didn’t have a lot on offer in regards to fashion.  Just the same old High Street Shops so everyone looked the same.  Boring!  I dressed in the same preppy look as everyone else but when I was in my mid-teens, I decided that I wanted to try different looks. 

I started to dye my mousy brown hair bright, copper red, to my mum’s dismay.  In my small town, that was a sign of teenage rebellion.  I also started shopping at charity shops.  I’d buy men’s Levi’s jeans for cheap, bring them home and rip them up making them shorts, skirts or pulling the waistband out and wearing them as hip huggers as I have big hips.  I also started to sew beads and sequins on them to make them look different.  For the first time, I started to find my feet when it comes to fashion.

Then I moved to Europe.  Over here, fashion is very different.  The girls in London dress differently than the girls in Manchester, that’s for sure!!  I have to admit I got caught up in it all!  So again I found myself hitting the high street and buying clothes and looking like everyone else.  (I kept the red hair though.)  Then I started to self tan.

I started off with tan in a can, as I call it.  Then it escalated to sunbeds.  I was going tanning 3 times a week and as I am half Italian when I catch the sun I go very dark. 

This continued even when I moved from London to Dublin in Ireland.  But then I added another element:  hair extensions.

I have naturally baby fine hair and not a lot of it.  I have always had short hair because when it grows out, it goes all stringy and awful looking.  So I decided to shell out a good amount of money for glue in hair extensions.  It turned out to be a disaster.  A major disaster that left me with bald patches, an even shorter haircut and no confidence. 

I then started to take a step back and look at myself.  Here I was trying so hard to fit in.  I tried to dress the same, have the same hair and tan my skin.  All the for the sake of “fitting in”.

I then decided enough was enough.   I remembered back to when I was younger buying the old jeans from the charity shop and making something cool out of them.  So I decided that I needed to figure out what I liked.

I knew that I liked heels, pencil skirts, dresses and I loved looking like a lady.  So I started to go to markets and taking notes.  I started investing in good classic pieces.  I bought 2 lovely pencils skirts and I started to wear my red lipstick.  I felt liberated for the first time in a long time!

When I rocked up to work in my new clothes, I got a lot of strange looks but they were looks of wow not looks of what the??  I started to become a force to be reckoned with.  I was losing weight so my waist was getting defined.  I started getting into belts (they are great for creating and accenting curves and waists) and I started buying wrap-around dresses.  I got a funky haircut and put mad colours through my hair.  I felt like a teenager again!

Then the economic crash happened.  I met my ex and moved to the northwest of England. My days of carefree shopping were well and truly done.  I ended up in a very low paid job supporting an alcoholic.  It was hard.  I would look with envy at the well-dressed girls in Liverpool and Manchester.  I would save what little money I could to try and treat myself but those pampering treats ended.  So did my tanning obsession.

I wore the clothes that I had until they were thread bare.  I also gained weight so my pretty skirts and dresses couldn’t be worn.  I felt depressed.  Very depressed.  I felt like I couldn’t express myself.  Also the fact that I was in a job that I was getting bullied every day didn’t help.  My fashion sense dropped along with my confidence.

But I managed to pull myself out of my rut.  I got a new job with better money and I started to build up my fashion confidence again.  I started to experiment with my hair.  I knew that I couldn’t have long hair and I was not going to attempt extensions again!! 

So I went to my hair dresser and said that I needed a new look that was simple, sassy, classy and high impactAfter consulting with my stylist for 2 hours she said, I think that you need to go black and go for a classic bob.  I’m thinking Victoria Beckham circa 1990’s Spice Girls? 

Black?  Isn’t that harsh?  Victoria Beckham?  That skinny miserable bitch?

She said, Betty with your eyes, your red lips and your pale skin….it works!  Think of how striking you’d be!!

Well, that was 18 months ago, I have embraced my same haircut, I have embraced my pale, flawless complexion, red lippy is permanently on and I now am the woman that is writing for you now.

To find a style, a look that is good for you….my advice?  Throw the copies of Vogue, Allure, Company, and every other fashion magazine out.  Do you really want to see a bunch of skinny, miserable bitches posing in overpriced clothes?

Go out, explore the city centres and markets around you.  There are fashionistas everywhere!!!  Take what you like from each look, try something new!  Fashion should be liberating, not restrictive.  Don’t wear an outfit because it’s “in style” wear it because you like it!  Wear it because it makes you feel confident!!!  If you feel good wearing your outfit, strut yourself in and everyone will pick up on that and think, Damn this girl has got it goin’ on!!! 

The most important thing is to be comfortable.  Embrace who you are.  There is nothing more sexy than a woman that is comfortable in her own skin, comfortable in her clothes and rocks a “do I give a fuck” attitude.  As my new mentor Elena LeShelle has now drummed into my head…I. AM. GODDESS.

Take care, Ragers and Ragettes.  And until next time, stay fabulous!

Lots of Love,

Betty Rage xxxxxxxx