On the Perils of Being Pale

Happy Monday Ragers and Ragettes!!  This morning I decided to walk to the gym instead of drive and my, what a workout!!!  I did a good hour at the gym and went in and had a shower and got dressed without embarrassing myself!  Result!!

Today I am rocking my blue and white polka dot dress, red peep toe stilettos, my necklace that Suzanne gave me and my red lippy.  I am looking very fabulous today if I say so myself!!!

But there is one slight problem.

As you all know, I like to keep clear of fake tan or tanning products in general.  And in the summer time I like to keep under a parasol or an umbrella if possible.  It’s difficult to do, but it’s also difficult to be Betty Rage!!!

So yesterday, Simon and I went for a coffee in the morning and it was warm with a nice breeze.  Simon told me that he needed to see his parents (which I have no problem with) and we would meet them in the park with his dogs for a walk.  We met them and walked a bit and then his parents suggested that they go to their local pub.

We walked to said pub and Simon’s mum chose a table outside in the back garden of this pub....well this was a lovely spot with beautiful flowers and no umbrellas.  It was a sun trap.

Shit!  And I forgot to put on suncream!!!!

So I bought a glass of soda water and lime and sat down in the sun wincing.  His parents had a bottle of wine.

We sat there and chatted about work mostly and we ordered more drinks.  Before you knew it, it was 3pm and my chest, arms and back were bright red!!!  Crap!!!!

We got back to our flat and my skin was sore and I mean sore!!!  The heat coming off it!  Simon got my cocoa butter and started to slather it on my back and chest.  I hoped that it would stop it from peeling.  But I was left with a problem.

Because of my Italian Mama, I will in 2 days time have the perfect tan on top.  My legs will be pale.  My look is ruined. 

Usually I am prepared for every eventuality and I mean every eventuality but yesterday I wasn’t and I paid severely.

As the evening went on, my skin was radiating some serious heat.  Simon said, shall I rub ice cubes on you?

Now Ragers and Ragettes, usually when your man says that he is going to rub ice cubes on your body, it’s usually a pleasurable experience that ends up with screams of pleasure and desire.

This was hell, and I mean absolute hell!!!  The ice shocked my poor back and I shrieked and then it melted pretty much straight away.  This was not sexual or sensual or seductive in any way!!!  This was the worst thing ever!!!

Simon was gentle and sweet and I was in major pain!!  We watched a crap film and he rubbed my back gently.   It started to itch and it took all the restraint and self-control to not grab a fork and scrape down my back.

We finished the film and Simon said, I think that you should take a cold shower.  I agreed and got myself in the shower and slowly made the water colder.  I stood under it until I couldn’t physically take it anymore.

I got into bed and Simon looked at me and smiled...what are you like, Betty.  He turned the light off and walked over to me....and....a lady never tells!!  But let’s just say that it was awkward with sore, tight skin!!!!  But we were both satisfied.

So I have learned my lesson.  Always bring suncream and insist on sitting in the shade!!!  Now what am I going to do about this tan??????

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, stay fabulous!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxxxx