Tuesday, 10 June 2014

On Adventures in the Gym



Hey Ragers and Ragettes!  I hope that you are having a great Tuesday!  Tuesdays to me are nothing days.  My theory is that every day has a feeling except for a Tuesday.  Mondays are the dreaded days (not for me!!), Wednesdays are the halfway point, Thursdays are exciting because it’s the day before Friday, Fridays are awesome because it’s the end of the working week, Saturdays are respite and rest days and Sundays are strange because they are the day you have to get everything ready for the upcoming week.  Tuesdays?  No feeling at all!!!

Anywho, I digress!!

Well last night I had a fantastic sleep!!!  I had been having some troubles sleeping recently, well since I have moved in with Simon.  First, the blinds that were fitted at our window are not blocking the sun out enough.  The window in our room has the sun blaring in during morning hours.  It’s not very pleasant!  So I remedied that with a pink pretty princess sleep mask!  Second, Simon snores and I mean snores.  This doesn’t sound human.  It sounds like one of his chainsaws that he sells!!  Christ it’s not human what comes out of him at night!!!  So I have invested in some heavy duty silicon earplugs.  They mould to the shape of your ear and create a plug so no sound comes in.  Amazing!!!
But I found that I still couldn’t sleep.  So I yesterday when we were having a laugh with Keith and Errol it dawned on me what was keeping me awake!

Each night with my dinner I have been having a can of Diet Coke with citrus in it....amazing!  I love it!!!  But this obviously has caffeine in it so hence, no sleep for Betty!!  

Last night I didn’t have that and I went to sleep cuddled in Simon’s arms wearing my pretty princess sleep mask and ear plugs and slept like a baby!!!  It was amazing!!!

So I got up, kissed Simon softly and went to get my keys to drive to the gym.  Well, because Simon drove my car yesterday with me in it, I forgot my car keys and keys to work on my desk at work!!!!  I took my spare key and 5:55am this morning I was off to the gym!  

I like going to the gym in the morning because it is out of the way then for the day.  As you all know I am trying to lose some weight.  It’s been going ok.  I have enlisted help from a Fitbit.  It’s a black bracelet that counts your steps and you log your activity, food intake and sleep.  And from that it tells you how many calories to consume if you want to lose weight.  Result!!!  I lost 4 pounds to begin with and then I have gained 7 back but I weighed myself this morning and I have lost 1 pound.  I need to get my head out of my ass and do this!!!!  So I am now eating practically bunny food but I am going to treat myself on the weekend.  But I am craving burgers.  I want a big dirty burger with bacon, cheese, more bacon and more cheese with more cheese and bacon.  But my waistline is a reminder that this isn’t a good idea....but it is only as a treat.

So I have dedicated myself going back to the gym.  

My new gym is ok.  In my last job it was filled with pretentious stuck up skinny bitches so it was a bit intimidating to go.  But this gym is great!  St Helens isn’t a very glamorous place so it’s just filled with people who want to keep their heads down and have a good workout.  

The ladies’ changing room is clean, has a sunbed (Betty Rage doesn’t do sun beds!!!  I love my porcelain skin!!), and hair dryers!!  It’s really nice and less than half the price I was paying at the pretentious skinny bitch gym. 

The workout equipment is new, clean and used properly.  There are no little scroatie scum bags that go so people just want to go in and do a hard workout.  

This morning I didn’t feel like doing a hard workout so I did a short arm workout ad popped on the exercise bike with the intention of doing 40 minutes.  After 21 minutes I was seriously bored.  So I stopped the bike, recorded the calories which I entered into my Fitbit app and decided to go and walk a bit.  I started the treadmill and decided that I wanted to make it a bit more difficult.  So I ramped up the incline to 5% and was walking at 4kph.  I slowly started to ramp up the incline and the speed and before I know it I was a sweaty Betty power walking at 5kph at a 10% incline and 252 calories and 30 minutes later I had completed my workout.  I logged it in my Fitbit. Feeling smug I went to the changing rooms to shower off and get fabulous!

So I got into the changing room I went to my locker and opened it and my Julien MacDonald handbag flew out of my locker and hit me in the head.  I did have too many things in my locker!!!  I’m one of these people that always has too many things to carry!!  It is quite irritating!!

So I managed to get my shower stuff out and cram all my items back into the locker, put my padlock on with the woman next to me chuckling to herself.  

I had my shower (which was amazing!!) and I got back to get myself glammed up for a good day’s work.

I towel dried myself and put my cocoa butter on (That is the beauty product I swear by!!!  I love cocoa butter!!!!!  I use Palmers.  It is thick, creamy and smells delish!!!) and then proceded to get myself ready for work.

Well, as I had just had my shower and put cocoa butter on and as the changing room was quite  warm, I encountered a slight problem....Basically I am wearing my favourite vintage dress and when I wear it I have to wear my full body sucking in knickers to even out the lumps and bumps.  (Hence why I am going to the gym.  I cannot wait until I throw out these sucking in knickers!!!)  The changing room was very humid so when I was putting my sucking in knickers due to the high amount of humidity in the changing room, my sucking in knickers were not going on very easily.  So there I am, Ragers and Ragettes, trying to put my sucking in bodysuit on in a very humid room...I am hopping and jumping around the chainging room as the women in the changing room were giggling to themselves.  And to make this even more humiliating, I slip on a wet patch and fall flat on my arse in my sucking in pants and bra!!!  My mentor Elena would defo say that isn’t goddess like!!!

So what did I do?

I did what any fashionista would do.  I got up, and announced, the things I do to look good!  And I put my vintage dress on, did my hair and make up and I strutted my arse out of that changing room in my 5 and a half inch leopard print stilettos with my oversized sunglasses.  The girls in the changing room smiled and winked at me in what seemed to be appreciation.

See Ragers and Ragettes?  If you make a major faux pas and you just pick yourself up and tell yourself that you are fabulous you can pull it off!!  Maybe is that the true definition of being a goddess??

Anywho, I am having a fab day with Simon, Keith and Errol and looking forward to going home and spending quality time with my man.  But I still am missing my girlie time with Suzanne.  Sigh. 

So until next time, stay fabulous Ragers and Ragettes!!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxx

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