The Sunday Blues, manning up and getting your power back

I woke up this morning at 7am bright and early. The sun was streaming through the windows. Normally I would be up thinking what a great day to be alive! But today I was hit with a bad case of the Sunday Blues. Usually I get the Sunday Blues at around 8:30pm (after Laura goes home after KFC Football Sunday) but they came earlier. I have never woken up with the Sunday Blues before.

So I tried to do things that make me happy. I got into my little car, drove to the shop to get a newspaper (thank God I drove because the heavens opened and it pissed down rain) and had a cup of green tea with peppermint (tastes horrible but it's good for you and I am doing a caffeine detox!!!!) and I still felt crap. So what else could I do?

Clean. Nothing that Betty Rage loves more than cleaning. Honestly. I am great at cleaning but shit at cooking. (The funny thing is that I am of Italian descent so I should theoretically the amazing at cooking...) so I cleaned my chest of drawers out, folded my lingerie (I need to buy sone new pieces....I'm thinking I need some more red and black...) and my tops, gym clothes and such. Nope still got the blues.

So I even cleaned out (a superficial clean not a proper clean) under my bed, hoovered (I need a new Hoover. I have 2 and I would say that they both suck but that's the problem....they don't!!!) and I still feel like I was in a total snit. I then started asking myself why on this lovely now sunny again Sunday am I feeling so down?

I started to think. Last night I received a message from Nick (formally known as Mr. Hump n Dump) out of the blue. He congratulated me on my team winning (we support rival football teams) and asked if I was feeling better. He hasn't really spoken to me since we got physical. That kind of messed me up, to be honest. Oh Nick...just get your act together....

Then a message from the fabulous Suzanne popped up. "You ok, sugah" and with that the floodgates opened. No I wasn't. And I felt stupid for feeling it. I poured my heart out to Suzanne.

I always thought I would have my shit together by now. I'm getting closer I know but I'm tired of waiting for everything to be ok. Then the fabulous Suzanne gave me the best bit of advice I have received for a long time:

"Do you remember going on a journey with mom and dad when you was small and the closer to your destination you got the antsier you got? And the more you asked-Are We There Yet???....well, as antsy as you are NOW- does that TELL you anything???"

God she was right. Better times are around the corner I know it. I'm rebuilding, the Phoenix rising from the ashes of the disaster that happened last year. I seriously need a dose of man the fuck up. Then Suzanne said:

"Now- finish your spring clean- remember the good stuff- bin the bad stuff- and make room for the things that are about to come into your life in the next few months!!!! No room for unwanted, unused, useless stuff in your house- or mind anymore!!! Muaahhhhhhhh!!! 😘"

Goddamnit, Suzanne gave me the rocket up my ass that I needed. I put my music on and scrubbed my bathroom, got my stuff ready for tomorrow, and decided enough is enough.

I have neglected my needs for the last time so I sat down and I microplanned the rest of my week. I wrote my food shopping list for Tuesday night and started to take back control of my life.

So I sit here now in Rage Towers in a ridiculously clean flat with candles lit, lights dimmed listening to music. This is the most relaxed I have felt for awhile. My Sunday Blues have dissipated, I feel ready to face the week.

I am hoping that this feeling will stay but I know if my head drops and I want to cry, the fabulous Suzanne will give me the man up rocket up the ass that I need, because that's what true friends do.

Love

Betty Rage xxxxx