On Tapping into Your Inner Goddess

Happy Friday everyone!!! Well the last 24 hours have been very eventful, shall we say….

Yesterday started out great, I rocked a pair of pin striped trousers, a white blouse and my favourite black peep toe patent stilettos.  I was feeling good as I have been eating better and taking better care of myself.

In regards to Nick* (formally known as Mr. Hump n Dump) well, I was doing my best to not let him get under my skin.  I played it very cool.  He then starting coming around my desk more and striking up conversations with me.  It was nice in a way that I felt that I had control of the situation for the first time.  Scary but exhilarating. 

But a little bit of me felt….well….bad.  Did I feel this way because he humped and dumped me?  Or did I genuinely like him?  I mean, he’s a walking disaster.  Always late into work (but a very good worker) very sweet natured….but he humped and dumped me.  Sigh.

At lunch with the beautiful Suzanne we were discussing men.  Suzanne has truly married her soul mate.  Besides my parents, I haven’t ever found a couple so devoted and so loving to each other than Suzanne and Rick*.  When they are together, it’s like the most natural thing in the world.  I have to admit….I am totally envious and if I can find something with a man that is even close to what Suzanne has with Rick I will be the luckiest woman on the planet!

Suzanne was saying that there are problems in the bedroom department with her and Rick. As in she ain’t getting any.  That shocked me!!!  I mean, Suzanne is a stunning woman. How could Rick be so silly?  He’s definitely not cheating….what’s his problem???  Men are so weird! 

I asked Suzanne, why don’t you ask him for it?  She looked at me and said, girl, Goddesses don’t ask for it.  It’s always on our terms…

That made me think about the Nick situation…I’m in control, not him!  I need to pull my finger out and go with my inner goddess.

So I booked in for a bikini wax, called my “comfort friend” for a nice evening and then….I arranged a date for tonight (Friday) with one of the guys that I have been chatting to on the dating website. 

Strutting taller, when Nick came over and asked if I was going on the work’s night outtonight I looked him straight in the eye and said, no I’m not.

He looked taken aback and stuttered, erm, I’m not going to be out for long...I have to study this weekend…

I felt strangely strong and powerful, and I also felt sad…again….why am I feeling this guilt?  I am going out tonight with a lovely guy who has his own business, who’s charming , who makes me laugh.  Grrrrrr…..

So anyway , I decided to let my inner Goddess to do the thinking.  I went into town after work and had my bikini wax and eyebrows threaded.  (OUCH!!!!!  And I mean OUCH!!!!)  I felt instantly better then I texted my comfort friend and told him (not asked) to meet me in the wine bar around the corner.  I went to the toilet, pulled my knickers off, came back and bought a large glass of red wine and a beer and waited for him.

He came in sat down and started drinking the beer.  I leaned over nibbled on his ear lobe and put my panties into his pocket.  I’ve never seen a man down a pint so quickly.

We got into a cab back to mine and as soon as we walked into Rage Towers, my clothes and his clothes were on the floor….the next few hours…..let’s just say that my inner goddess prevailed.  I did things I wouldn’t normally do.  I let him take me and use me.  It was amazing.  And he appreciated my bikini wax….

As I said goodbye to him and kissed him, it felt different.  He saw a different side to me.  I felt powerful, strong, in control.

This inner goddess thing is amazing!  So the question is….do I let her come out on my date?  Or should I put her back into her box and let Betty out? 

Hmmmmmmmmm…….

Well today at work I have been playing it very cool.  Nick has too.  I have also told one of the people going out tonight that I am on a date…maybe news will feed back to Nick? Let’s see what happens… I have been pleasant and I know that I am doing the right thing. It’s just difficult.  But as the beautiful Suzanne said, I need to get rid of the bad and go with the good. 

So tonight, I will be rocking a fabulous bodycon dress, do my hair and make-up to perfection, put my stilettos on, and strut my stuff on my date.  It’s a new age.  A new day. And as Nina Simone said, I’m feelin’ good!

Lots of love

Betty Rage xxxx