On Who’s Wrong With You Today

Morning Ragers and Ragettes!  I hope that you have all had a lovely weekend!  The long weekend was lovely but it could have been longer.

Summer has left us definitely and fall is here.  So today I am rocking some boot cut jeans, a black camisole with a silk kimono top and a pair of cowboy boots.  I am loving the bootcut jeans and cowboy boots look.  Laid back but nice.  Plus my cowboy boots are amazing.  They are so comfortable!  Every girl should have a pair.

Today I have to admit I am not in a good mood at all.  I am cranky, tired and very irritated.  When I got into work and saw that Simon’s parents have brought the dogs...I was fuming for some strange reason.  So I have pretty much kept my mouth shut and kept my head down. 

So I started to think why am I in such a snit?  I mean, I am really irritable.  It’s not that time of the month, I am eating healthily and I have most things that I want in life so why do I have a case of the crap-mcnasties?

A wise woman once said that most of the time we ask the question of “what is wrong” but we should actually be asking the question of “who is wrong”.  As in, who is pissing you off?  I started to think and a few things popped up.

Firstly, Suzanne.  No, I am not angry with her.  In fact the opposite.  Today is a hard day for her and I am stuck here in St Helens instead of being with her and trying to make her feel better.  If I were with her I would take her out shopping, go out for a nice lunch and do things like that.  It sucks because I can’t properly be there for her.  Sigh.

Secondly, Simple Guy.  I wrote a blog about my online dating adventures and I briefly was seeing a guy called “Simple Guy”.  After I broke it off, I deleted him from Facebook and my phone and everything.  Well, against my better judgement, he made a new profile and I friended him again.  He started to pester me for my phone number even though I told him that I was in a relationship.  Finally it hit him that I was in a relationship. 

Anywho, a few days ago I received a message from him.  Keeping in mind that he is simple, he asked me if I was ok and I said I was.  I asked him if he was ok, and how things were going.  He told me that he got a promotion in work and was now on £16,500 a year...this was supposed to impress me how?  I earn twice that!!! 

I said back, oh well done.  Then he said that he was seeing a Polish girl.

I said I hope that you are happy.  That’s great!

Then he said it....She’s a stunner.

I don’t know why, but ever since, that has grated on me.  I can’t stop thinking about that. 

Let’s get something straight.  I in no way fancy this guy.  He wasn’t good looking, he had a creepy smile and he had the personality of a squid.  

But to hear him say that he has a new girl and that she is a stunner?  

So I started going a bit loopy.  I started to go through his friend list on Facebook.  No Polish bird on there.   No tagging in Facebook posts, no mention of being with a woman.  I sense some bullshit here.  I knew that this was bullshit.

But why was I still seething?  What’s wrong with me?  And I have been seething ever since.  It’s really wound me up good and proper!!  I need to somehow let this go but how?  How do you let this go? 

I also find that I am letting customers at work get to me.  I wake up sometimes in the middle of the night and I can still have echoes of emails and conversations in my head.  I am seriously having problems of letting it go. 

So with the information above I know why I am in such a snit.  So I need to work on getting myself out of this. 

I brought my notebook with me today.  This notebook is a lovely flowery notebook and in it I write down my blessings.  I try to do this every day so that whenever life gets tough or unbearable it keeps me grounded. 

I always write down my gratitude for my family, for Suzanne and for Simon.  I am blessed.  I have so much and yet I find myself dwelling on the shit.  I think that it is a habit sometimes.  We like to whine, bitch and complain.  Sometimes I don’t think that we see what is going on around us.  It makes me sad.   Especially what Suzanne is going through.  One of the lessons that she taught me is to not let the petty things grind you down, there is more to life than those sorts of people.  She calls them gnats' asses. 

So I need to brush off the gnats asses and focus on what is good.  My job, my boyfriend, Suzanne and my friends, my family, my diet is going great, the list goes on.

So in closing,  I know that I need to make peace with those that are bringing me down spiritually so that I can continue to be the best that I can be.

So Ragers and Ragettes, take a step back, a deep breath and be thankful for what you have and don’t let the gnats' asses grind you down.

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxxxx