Betty Rage the Calendar Girl?

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!  It’s a cool Friday here in St Helens so I am wearing my bootcut jeans, Suzanne inspired cowboy boots, a berry coloured ¾ sleeve V-neck top and my red lippy.  Fabulous! 

I am so happy that the weekend is upon us and that it’s a Bank Holiday Weekend!  I need the time off!!  My brains are mushed as a lot of negative things have happened this week.  I walked out of work on Wednesday night and Simon didn’t notice (thanks babe) and yesterday I wrote up my resignation and I was so close to handing it to Simon.  Work has become complicated and frustrating.  Then to top it off, yesterday, some arsehole decided to back into my cute little convertible denting the bonnet and putting a hole in my bumper.  Nice.  So this week can just suck a big dick for all I care.

So I want to focus on a positive. 

I have been training with my fabulous Personal Trainer now and I have been enjoying every minute.  And through her, I have made some new friends.  They are all girls and they also train with my Personal Trainer.  We are in a What’s App group cheering each other on, getting ideas for new recipes and exercises and such.  It’s been a God-send as chainging your lifestyle is hard.  There are still some fat girl habits in there and it’s all about controlling them. 

This weekend we are all having our first “cheat meal” in 4 weeks as we have been doing a month long clean eating challenge.  It has been hard.  The hardest bit was the coffee withdrawal but I have now been coffee free, processed food free for 4 weeks.  I am proud of myself.  And the girlies and I have agreed that this is the way to eat now and that we are going to continue to eat clean but every 2 weeks we will have a “cheat meal”.  My cheat meal?  Burgers with bacon and cheese, curly fries, bacon fried mozzarella sticks and carrot cake or cheese cake....I can’t decide which one.  I know I will probably want to chuck my guts up the next morning but it is important because I need to let me body feel that so that I won’t want to feel it again.

Anyway, we were having a group chat and one of the girls, Natasha* (name changed – also known as the pocket rocket as she is 4 foot 11 and strong as hell) said that she had a session with my Personal Trainer and they decided that all of us need to do a calendar to promote our healthy body shapes and our way of living.

Now I am not as fit and sculpted as the rest of the girls, but they want me to participate to prove that strong is sexy.  All body shapes are welcome.  Our group even have a name: The All Girl’s Lifting Team. 

So we were discussing what sort of poses we could do.  Gina (the group’s leader, she is ex military and has the most impressive abs I have ever seen) said that she wants to do pull ups, in full make up of course, while wearing a crop top and booty shorts.  We all agreed that was the best for Gina as she is one tough cookie!!!

Natasha said, I would like to do a boxing pose.  I chipped in and said, I have some fabulous retro Adidas boxing boots that are dying to come out plus some gloves!

Natasha replied, Betty, we can pose together with boxing gloves  or you can do lunges or squats because you have great legs!!  I see you wearing a white vest, booty shorts and your boxing boots.

I instantly felt....well, embarrassed but proud.  Me?  Have great legs?  My years of heel wearing has given me calf muscles to die for.  My Personal Trainer keeps telling me that my legs and bum are looking amazing.  And they are.  My bum is not a bum, but a proper booty!! 

I instantly felt excited and happy.  I have hair modelled now calendar model?  And to be in a group with these girls?  These girls are seriously physically fit and I look up to all of them. 

Gina wants to get matching workout tops for all of us to wear.  I usually don’t follow the crowd, but Gina, I will wear that top with pride because I am part of an elite group of girls that aren’t afraid to lift weights, scare off the sted heads in the gym that hog the weights and will happily out clean and press any man that challenges us.  Yes, I am proud to be a member of the All Girls Lifting Team!

So until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!!

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxx

On the Visitors and Parental Problems

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  It’s a lovely warm day here in St Helens so I am taking the opportunity to rock my new palazzo strapless jumpsuit with my white cardigan and black wedges.  Fabulous!!!

Well the visitors have been and gone.  It wasn’t too bad actually.  They are both now ladies of leisure (hubby is making all the money) and they both have children.   They are also both fat!  It was great being the skinny one in the group.  I know that was incredibly bitchy but I needed something from screaming after Amelia showed me her new Louis Vuitton handbag and her Chanel makeup.  Oh and don’t forget the first class ticket!!  Well at least my ass isn’t as flabby as yours, sunshine!

But it was ok.  We have each taken different paths and I am cool with it.  We spent the day in Liverpool and reminisced about the old days.  We laughed and discussed life and how the people from our old crew were doing. 

Charity is still as straight talking and funny as ever.   Yes, it looks like they have an easy life.  Well, as easy as raising children can be, and I must admit, I am a little envious but I am better off where I am now. 

We left it that we are going to attempt to meet up at Christmas when I go back home.  And that just suits me fine. 

But my current concern is with Simon’s parents.   I wouldn’t say that I am close to them.  I tolerate them, yes I think that is the best way that I can describe it currently but lately, things have been a bit....well....strained.

A few weeks ago, Simon received a call on the weekend from his mother asking him to come down to fix something, I don’t know if it was the computer or the TV.  He went over to assist and then the drama began...

I received a text from his dad:  Hi Betty.  Have you ever heard the song Cats in the Cats in the Cradle.  It’s about a father who doesn’t have time for his son.  I feel the opposite.

I was a bit shocked.  I didn’t know what to say so I sent a text back saying that I was familiar with the song and Cat Stevens.

Then his dad went on to say that Simon’s mum shouldn’t have called.  And that he wants to feel appreciated. 

He does have a valid point.  But the texts had spelling errors all over the shop...his dad was drunk again.

More texts followed.  The spelling got worse.  His dad was very drunk, I think.

Simon came home and looked frustrated.  I showed him the texts.  Simon sat down on the settee.  Was she drunk again, I asked quietly.  He just nodded.  I hugged him.  I could see he was hurt.  I can see why he doesn’t go over and see them.  I understand his frustration.

Ever since that day, his parents have been awkward with me and Simon.  As in they haven’t spoken to us or chatted with us.  And his dad, who takes care of the accounts knows how busy I am at work has been bombarding me with emails, where’s this?  Where’s that?  Give me this invoice.  He’s also putting awkward comments on my Facebook statuses.  It’s kind of making me feel uncomfortable.  I was tempted yesterday when his dad put an awkward comment on one of my statuses to say Go home Dad, you’re drunk but I don’t know how that would have been taken.

Why have I been pulled into this?  Should I be pulled into this?  What are the official relationship rules on this?

Simon and I have discussed the whole marriage thing.  It is something that we both want.  But Simon made it very clear he wants to fly to Vegas and get married without his parents present because of their track record for getting slaughtered. 

I am lucky.  Yes, my Mama is an absolute head-case with issues.  Yes, she drives me crackers.  Yes, my worst nightmare is to end up helpless and crazy like her.  But I love my Mama and I would take her craziness over Simon’s situation any day.  It’s made me grateful for what I do have.  Simon feels that my parents are the way that he wanted his parents to be and my parents adore Simon and they call him son.

But my parents are miles away and the closest things to parents that I have here are less than adequate. 

I find myself alone and isolated feeling.  They say that when you marry a man, you marry the family too.  Half of me thinks what have I got myself into? 

It’s a difficult one, Ragers and Ragettes and I am well and truly stuck.  Any comments or feedback about this or any issues are always welcome!

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxx

On Letting Go.........Of your Hairdresser

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!   It’s a grey but mild day here in St Helens.  I’m feeling ok today so I am wearing one of my favourite outfits of all time:  My 1970’s secretary dress.  It’s blue, white and red with a pussy bow blouse.  I have accessorized it with my red peeptoe stilettos and a black belt. My makeup and hair looks good today too!

Today is a very hard day for me historically.  10 years ago I lost a child but I am determined to not let it get to me.  10 years is too long of a time to let it hang over your head.  I know that my little one is some place better.  I also know that I am in a better place too.  So I am determined to make myself feel good today.  To look to the future and to close the door on that part of my life.

So I put on my best dress today and I walked into work with the new that our new customer service guy has decided to resign and not give us notice.  Fabulous indeed.  It’s a good thing because he was a grade A gobshite.  I mean, if being a gobshite was an Olympic sport, he would be a record holder and have at least 20 gold medals.

Over the weekend, I was thinking about the past, 10 years ago.  On Saturday I had a pamper day and I went to the hair dresser. 

Now Ragers and Ragettes.  You know my hairdresser is crazy.  He’s talented and a perfectionist.....when it comes to colour.  My hair now is 2 toned.  The fringe is a violet/pink colour which is amazing.  The rest is a rosy pink.  Gorgeous.  The haircut?  Dreadful.  I keep gioving him the same picture and he keeps not cutting it the way I want it.  I think that he is back in the 1980’s still (which is ok.  I have no problems with leg warmers) and whenever I walk out of his, my hair is spikey and punky.  Not the smooth classic Gennifer Goodwin pixie crop that I have wanted for 4 months. 

I got to my car, combed my hair down and I tried to salvage the situation.  I then went for a manicure and a pedicure with my fabulous beauty therapist.  I got in and she complimented me on my hair.

I sat down and she started to do my nails (I picked a bright orange with orange glitter) and she said, Betty, why do you look so sad?

I looked at her and said, my hair.  I don’t like my hair.

She looked at me with surprise. But Betty I thought that you liked your hair. 

I do, I love the colour but the cut....it’s dreadful.  I took my phone out and showed her the Gennifer Goodwin inspired pixie cut that I wanted.  Now, I said, does my hair look anything like this?

She looked and said immediately.  No.  It doesn’t. 

I said, hence my upset.

She said, Betty, if you are not happy with the haircut, maybe you need to change hairdressers.  There’s no point paying for a haircut that you don’t like.  You need to be happy with your hair.

The funny thing is, Ragers and Ragettes, when she said that, a light went on in my mind.  Why have I been letting someone cut my hair to a standard that I didn’t like?  Why haven’t I put my foot down?  I am too nice?  I feel guilty about leaving?

As I sat pondering this, my beauty therapist called over the head stylist at the salon and she looked at my hair.  I showed her the photo of what I wanted and she looked at it and then looked at my hair and said, I can clean this up for you.  He didn’t even come close to what you wanted!

To hear her say that made me feel relieved.  I felt like I was going crazy.  The head hair stylist went to look at the computer and before I knew it I Was booked in for a hair appointment with her.

A part of me felt guilty, like I was cheating on my hairdresser but the other part of me said, No Betty.  Put those shitty feelings away!!  You wanted a Gennifer Goodwin inspired pixie crop and you got a 1980’s spikey punk throwback!!!   Pull yourself together woman, for God’s sake!!!

It is like cheating though.  A woman and her hairdresser are a relationship that is sacred....even more sacred than the sanctity of marriage.  You tell your hairdresser everything.  They know how they like your coffee.  They listen to your holiday plans, your hopes, your dreams and you trust them with your hair.  And a woman’s hair is her crowning glory.  If you get a bad haircut it does effect you.

So, I am sorry Ali.  You’re the best colourist I have ever known but your cutting?  Shocking.   I am going to have to end this relationship as I need to do what is best for me and my hair.

So until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher.

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

On Visitors from the Past

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!  It’s a cold but sunny day here in St Helens.  I am really missing summer.  I have gorgeous maxi dresses, jumpsuits and maxi skirts that need to see the light of day!!!

It’s work from home Wednesday which suits me fine.   I like having my sanity break from the hustle and bustle from work.  Plus it’s a chance to clean up and get the laundry done.

Next Thursday, two of my old childhood friends will be coming over to visit me.  They are going to Paris, Amsterdam (lucky!!) and London and they are going to come up for one night to see me and catch up.

I don’t know how I feel about this.  You see, when I left home 11 years ago I left behind a lot of people and my past to forge a new life for myself.  I needed to find who I was and find a place where I fit in.

The two friends that are coming to stay were a big part of my past.  Charity (names changed to protect the innocent) was my first proper friend.  We met in Kindergarten and instantly became friends.  This friendship lasted through elementary school, into middle school and then into high school.  We drifted apart in high school though.  Charity became quite bitter and I was just diagnosed as being bipolar.  I was pushing people away left, right and center because I knew I wanted to leave.

Charity and I had great times together.  We were close, always laughing together and making stupid jokes.  I loved her like my sister.

The other friend, Amelia (Again, names changed), I met in high school.  She came as a package in that she and her best friend Jillian (name changed) were joined at the hip.  Charity, Amelia, Jillian and I hung out in high school.  We had sleepovers, did extracurricular activities like theatre, together.  We were inseparable.

I then got diagnosed as bipolar and pushed everyone I cared about away.  I left home and I lost touch until the wonders of social media.  Charity and I made contact. 

Charity has, from what I see, a great life.  She got pregnant by a man who is in the navy.   He did the right thing and married Charity.  They now have 2 beautiful children together.  As Charity’s husband is in the navy, he makes a load of money.  Charity doesn’t have to work or want for anything so she puts everything she has into raising her children.  In a way, I’m envious. 

We met up a few years ago at our old favourite pizza place when I went home for Christmas and we had a meal and a few beers to reminisce.  Charity has grown up to be quite strong, level headed and she looks happy. 

Amelia ended up marrying my ex boyfriend from high school.  No hard feelings, he wasn’t my type and Simon is better looking and better for me.  Amelia and Charity got quite close as friends and now they are best friends.  Amelia also has a young son that she dotes on.

I don’t know how I feel about all this.  They are both coming up next week and I am scared that to them I will be a laughing stock.  There they are.  Both married, with children.  Is the conversation going to be about play groups, nappies and the hardship of raising children?

Do I have anything in common with them anymore?  I want Charity and Amelia to remain the way they were in my mind all those years ago.  I want us to be the same girls that would sneak out and have cheeky cigarettes around the bleachers.  Or when we would go shopping together. 

I just don’t know what to expect.  Letting them into my world, is our apartment good enough for them?  (Charity has a massive house)  Again, I am not married, I have no children.  Are they going to look down at me? 

This is causing me massive panic.  It’s like the past is coming to meet up with me and I don’t know if I can handle this. 

But it’s only 1 night.  That’s it.  I need to figure out what to do with them when they come over. 

Sorry if this is disjointed, Ragers and Ragettes.  All these memories and thoughts are rushing through my mind.  Good, bad and crazy.  I just hope that I can survive it and that all the worries are in my head.

So until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher.

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxx

Let's Misbehave!

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  It's a cool and rainy day here in St Helens.  It's supposed to be getting warmer and I need warmth!  Luckily I am in the flat wearing a velour tracksuit, hair messy and greasy "working" from home.  Which basically means, I am in the flat, I have the emails on, watching Netflix and I have done 2 loads of laundry, made some ice cream (I'll explain later) and cleaned up a bit....well not a lot.

I have made some physical changes recently.  As you know, I got my nose pierced recently.  It's something that I have wanted for ages!!  I have ordered some hoops for my nose piercing as this stud is just that....it's a stud.  Like one you would use to pierce someone's ear so it is straight through and I have to be careful not to pinch my nose, blow my nose as the stud will basically pierce my septum.  I have drawn blood a few times.  The actual piercing is healing nicely.  So when the hoops come I am going to try to figure out which size is the right one and get it in so I can wash my face and get back to being normal again.

The other change I made....I got my hairdresser to dye my hair.....neon pink.  Yes, you read that right.  Neon pink.  It's something that I have wanted to try out for ages, along with my pixie cut.  The colour is so bright!  It looks neon pink in certain lights but in other lights it looks bright red.  I quite like it.

But I know that Mama Rage won't.  When we Facetimed and she saw my nose ring she wasn't best pleased.  She hasn't seen my hair yet but I have a feeling she will hit the roof.

You see, I have realised recently that this being an adult thing really sucks.  Here I am, over 30, terrified of my own Mama.  Terrified of what?  What can she do to me?

Growing up, my parents were strict.  Daddy Rage was the disciplinarian and discipline he did!!  He would spank us if we were naughty.  He didn't beat me black and blue or anything like that. It was usually over the knee, spank with a ruler, slipper or hand and then go to the room.  After it was like nothing ever happened.

In my mind I feel like that little girl again when it comes to my parents.  That when I make major life choices, I take myself back to when punishment was meted out when it comes to telling my parents.

That was one of the deciding factors in me leaving in the first place.  But even now I still feel that they have a hold over me.

Every once and awhile, I get this feeling.  The feeling of wanting to be a naughty girl.  Not in a sexy way, no.

It's mostly to do with food.  I get the compulsions to binge.  Go to the shops and buy crisps, pizza, ice cream, hide under a blanket and just eat like a naughty little girl.  Or I get the compulsion to get tarted up, go to the local pub and see if I can get a man to buy me a drink an see where it leads.

I have done these things many times before and I can confidently say....IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!

Suppressing that inner naughty child sometimes is for my own good.  I am trying to lose weight and I know that if I made that choice to be a naughty little girl, it would set me back, hence why I was making healthy "ice cream" today.  To try and distract myself.

Sometimes the need is so bad, so strong that I can't help myself.  Controlling those feelings have been trying.

I think that I get the urge to misbehave out of pure boredom or feeling overwhelmed.  Work has been trying.  Simon and I are ok but a lot is happening and I think that we are letting it get on top of us.  We haven't been out on a date night for ages.

So I need to remedy that.  Before, I would have binged, purged and done stupid things.  I would have misbehaved.

But I am learning how to cope with these naughty feelings.  So here I am wrapped up on the couch, nice and cosy...too cosy to get up and raid the refrigerator.  I am concentrating on my goals.  I know that this feeling will pass.

So, I will continue to "work" (aka look at sundresses online) here in my warm cocoon.

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and keep your heels even higher

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxxx

On Spring, Pink and Changes

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!  I am sorry for not posting recently.  Work and life has been manic!  I am in a superbly fab mood!  I think that spring has sprung here in St Helens.  The sun is shining, there is a soft breeze filtering through and the lads at work are all wearing shorts, which is good in some ways and bad in others!

So today I am wearing a my turquoise off the shoulder batwing top, skinny jeans, turquoise accessories and my vintage turquoise peep toe sling backs stilettos.  It’s a good outfit today.  I am pleased with it! 

A quick shout out to Suzanne.  She is not feeling very well and has a chest infection.  Please get better, Suzanne!!!!!

I love spring.  It is my favourite season of all time.   The sun comes out, winter jumpers go back and sandals come out.  And I always mark spring with getting a pedicure.  (my feet are in a right state now!!!!!  Thank God my toes have some paint on the nails.  I need to book in!)  Plus the introduction of my favourite types of clothing...maxi skirts and the most forgiving piece of clothing.....maxi dresses!!!!!!   Thank heavens!  I love maxi dresses.  No matter how much you eat or drink they still make you look like a summer goddess!!!  I also want to try and find Capri pants.  Keeping with the 1950’s vintage vibe, paired with a simple vest or a cute blouse, it’s a look that I love!

I decided to try something new this spring....experiment with different colours.  As you remember, the fabulous Suzanne advised me to go for block colours.  I have embraced this.  I have started wearing more....pink!!!  Yes, you read that right....I Betty Rage, the lover of red has started to embrace pink. 

I am rocking a neon pink, glittery shellac manicure (my nails are now strong, a nice length so the acrylics have come off...it’s easier for me to type.  I go through stages of liking acrylics and my own natural nails.  I have made a pact to start going for my nails being more natural.), I bought a fuchsia pink top and I tried my new fuchsia pink lippy (Melted Candy) from Too Faced....fabulous colour!!!  I love it!!  Embracing pink has been quite liberating.  It is more spring friendly, I think.  So this spring I will be mainly wearing more bold colours and going for bold manicure and pedicure colours.  I have to be careful though with colours like orange and yellow.  I couldn’t wear an orange or yellow dress.  But I could wear a blue dress and have yellow or orange accessories.  I am going to start playing with that sort of style. 

That’s why I like spring.  For me, it is a time to be more daring with colours.  I also think of spring as a time to be like a butterfly.  Try new things.

For example, I decided to be a bit more bold and I ended up getting a nose piercing!!!  I didn’t go for the cattle looking one, just a subtle nose stud.  Everyone says that it looks cute.  I have ordered a silver hoop to replace the stud when it heals.  The great thing about piercings is that they heal.  Yea, my nose ring will come out at some point but I am going to enjoy it now.

My pixie cut is going well too.  I love it!!  This was the best thing that I have ever done.  It takes me 2 minutes to wash, I spray on conditioner when I am done, and it 5 minutes to style my hair.  I also don’t wash my hair as often.  Like today, I sprayed some dry shampoo in my roots, rubbed it in, blasted it with the hair dryer and voila!  It’s done!  I put a turquoise flower in my hair too.   Dead easy!  So that has given me more time to do my makeup.  I have a hair appointment this Saturday and I have asked my hairdresser if he can dye my hair fuchsia....I know, that is a bit wild.  But it’s got to be tried!  After all it is spring!

I have now settled into a winning routine with my workouts. My trainer and I have been working hard.  I am in a good place with my workouts.  4 days of cardio a week, 2 weight sessions with my trainer and Saturday yoga.  (I might actually throw in an extra cardio session on the Saturday morning before yoga.  I am toying with that idea....)  My measurements are going down and I am feeling confident that I will get to my goal. 

I did have a bit of a glitch with my workouts though.   I started running 5k’s each day and I ended up having a sore knee.   So I have been rocking a knee brace at the gym, I put some gel insoles in my running shoes and my cardio sessions have been an hour on the cross trainer.  A lot of calories are being burned and that’s the main thing.

Things are ticking over nicely.  It’s scary but I am feeling more settled and starting to enjoy life instead of looking for the pointless drama in other people’s lives.   That’s why I have limited my communication with Rita.  I am sick of being drawn into drama and bad choices when I am on the up. 

It’s about self preservation.   It’s hard when you are on board someone’s sinking ship of negativity.  One of my favourite authors said, do you really want to be a link in someone’s chain of pain? 

Since I have limited my communication with Rita I feel a lot better and a lot happier.  I just feel like I have been there too much.  I would normally do anything for my friends.  But I am tired of analyzing every text and Snapchat.  I am tired of being treated like that fat friend.  It just came to a head that I needed to take care of my needs.

Remember Ragers and Ragettes, when you say yes to someone you are sometimes saying no to yourself.  My time is precious as I pretty much work 7 days a week.  I want my “spare” time to be filled with things that make my life better.  Like going to the gym, getting my nails done or shoe shopping (I need new sandals!).  I don’t want to be someone’s sounding board and when I dispense advice the amount of times I have, if you don’t take it, you’re stupid.  Simple.  I like to call people like that askholes.  (People that ask for advice without the intention of taking it)

So, Ragers and Ragettes, I am looking forward to enjoying spring.  I am looking forward to weekends in the beer garden (sparkling water for me, I’m off the booze) wearing my sundresses, drives in my convertible feeling the wind in my hair, going out on day trips, shopping and getting that first pedicure of the season!!

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

On Betty’s Weight Loss Challenge

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!  It’s a sunny, beautiful glorious day here in St Helens.  The sun is shining and everyone has the joys of spring.  So today I am dressed to impress.  My cream blazer (I’m sick of black), my wine coloured racer back vest, skinny jeans and my leopard print peep toes.  I am feeling fab!!

Well, I have been trying for ages to lose weight as you know.  This has been a hard struggle for me but I feel like I am making headway. 

My new trainer is amazing.  We click, have a laugh and I am seeing improvements in my fitness.  Like when I do my high intensity intervals, I don't feel like I am going to die anymore! She put me on a new diet plan as well.  I am eating 1500 calories a day and doing cardio 4 times a week, weight lifting 2 times a week and yoga 1 day a week.

On Monday I did a hard 50 minute cardio session.  30 minutes of high interval training and 20 minutes on the bike.  Tuesday, I made a mini triathlon...3 kilometer “skiing (cross trainer machine)", 5 kilometer bike ride and a 1.5 kilometer run.  By the end of it, my face was as purple as my purple top!!!  It was hard but rewarding.

This morning I was having a session with her and she said to me, Betty I am so impressed with your training this week!  You’re doing great!   I thanked her and smiled.

I look up to my trainer because she has been nothing but good to me and she has overcome eating disorders to get where she is today.  So she knows how it feels to be in a body that you hate but she is helping me get it sorted.  She too is on a journey to get her body fitter as she has a body form competition coming up.

She smiled at me as I was getting ready to do my killer squat routine.  She said, Betty, let’s make April a really good month. 

I did my first squat rep and said of course it will be a fab month!  I am pleased with the training plan and the diet. 

She said why don’t you make a goal for the end of April/beginning of May?  Is there an outfit that you want to get into?

There are thousands of outfits that I want to get into.  That’s the problem.   The outfits I want to get into are smaller than I could accomplish in a month.

I looked at her and said I don’t want to commit myself.  I have made sweeping declarations before.  The one that hurt was that I wanted to get into my red vintage winter coat by my birthday last year.  That failed majorly. 

But looking back, last year, I was still a bit unsettled.  I gained a boyfriend, just moved from a fabulous city to a town with crap shops (There is no Selfridges or Harvey Nichols in St Helens, I will have you know!), I got a new job, and I had to settle and figure out where I am in this world.  I feel that I am now only really feeling settled.

Now I feel more comfortable.  I found a beautician, a hair dresser, things are settling for me.

I was thinking this over as I tore through my squats feeling the burn in my thighs and butt. 

I then thought about the white trousers.

The fabulously gorgeous Elizabeth Hurley is always snapped wearing her white trousers in the summer.  In Fashion magazines it's a running joke!  They are white denim with a slight flare.  They are classy and very versatile, though and us women need a piece like that in our wardrobes.

I too own such a pair of trousers.  These trousers are cotton with a kick flare that go with everything, and I mean everything!  They, for me are a summer staple.  I wore them back in 2008 and again in 2010.

They are from a boutique in Ireland called A/Wear.  They are a size down from what I wear now.  I few weeks ago I wanted to see how big I was so I tried them on.  They went easily past my thighs but when it came to my hips, it was hard work but I got them on my hips.  I then hoicked them up to my waist.  They were not going to zip up at all. 

As I started to do my dead lift , I looked at my trainer and asked, when is your competition?

She said the 3^rd of May.

I asked her, do you think that is feasible to lose a dress size from now until 3^rd of May?

She said, yeah, if you stick to the routine, continue to eat clean and put in the effort that you are doing now, I don’t see why not.

I told her about the white trousers and said, how about this.  By your competition on May 3^rd, I will be in my white trousers.

She smiled and said, agreed.  

So Ragers and Ragettes.  That’s my goal.  By Sunday May 3^rd, I need to lose enough weight to fit into the white trousers.  The rules are, the trousers must be in a wearable state so no muffin top, no camel toe, no tummy over the waistband and I need to photograph myself wearing these trousers and send it to my trainer on the 3rd of May.

It’s a big ask but the key, for me, is to break it down day by day.  Focus on eating healthy and exercising today.  Don’t think about tomorrow.  Just today.  The hardest part though is seeing my body in the state that it is.  My tummy is the bit that I hate the most.  It's flabby and dreadful.

This weight loss battle has been going on for 17 years now.  I have yo-yo’d so much that I am irritated with it now. 

I have made some lifestyle changes in my life and they are changes that are going to stay.  For example, I have cut down my drinking now to nothing.  I had a slip up this month at the hair dressing competition.  But 25 days with 1 drink is really, really good for me.  I am proud of that.  So I have decided that I am not going to buy wine anymore at the super market.  If I am going to have a drink, it will be for a big occasion, like this coming weekend, Simon and my 1 year anniversary (Where has the time gone?).  I don't need the drink.  Too many calories!  Plus when you drink loads, you tend to go to a takeaway and soon before you know it you wake up next to an empty container that contained a kebab with cheesy chips!!

Here is to the Betty Rage Weight Loss Challenge:  getting my ass into the white trousers by May 3rd.  Let's do this!

So until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!

Lots of love,

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxx