On Flipping the Bitch Switch

Hi Ragers and Ragettes!!  I hope that you are all well on this glorious Friday!!!!

Well today I am rocking a vintage jumpsuit, gold accessories (earrings, blingy watch and massive cocktail rings) and my favourite wooden sandals and my Oliver Peoples Sunglasses.  If I say so myself, I am looking mighty good today.  It’s so important to wear things that you feel comfortable in.  When you do, and you smile everyone notices and then you look even better!!

Today we were clearing out the warehouse and Keith said to me, Betty you need to wear safety boots to which I replied, Keith they don’t go with this outfit!!  Men just don’t understand!!!!!  That’s why I need Suzanne; she would appreciate this outfit!!!

Anyway today I wanted to discuss something that I have wanted to address for awhile and a situation came up yesterday which demonstrates this....when and why a girl will flip the bitch switch.

At work, I pride myself on the fact that I give great customer service.  I mean, yesterday, I got so many compliments on my level of customer service.  I believe that when we purchase something firstly you should get your money’s worth.  Girlies, as you know if you buy cheap, you will get cheap.  Simple.

But if you spend serious money, you should get what you paid for in the sense you should get quality.

Yesterday, the carrier for our company fucked up...and I mean royally grade A fucked up good and proper.  They were supposed to deliver a parcel to Canada.....back on the 15^th of April.  They lost it.

Now ever since I started working for Simon, I have been chasing and chasing and chasing the carrier for this, but always politely.  I have been professional, courteous, sweet, kind and understanding.  But yesterday....the bitch switch not only got flipped, it got torn off the fucking wall!!!!

The account manager for this carrier company was supposed to call me back on Tuesday.  He didn’t.  I called him yesterday morning and he basically blamed me and said that I was supposed to call him.  Errrmmmm....I was busy packing in the warehouse.  And surely I am the customer?  I started to get frustrated and I started to slowly flip the bitch switch.  He stuttered and let’s just say that things started to get moving.

I received a call from the call centre of said company and they said that because we didn’t claim within the time period (which is total bullshit) and the parcel is abandoned and it can’t be delivered.  That was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Before I knew it, every swear word came out of my mouth in a torrent of abuse.  Simon looked shocked, Keith and Errol backed away.  For 15 minutes I let rip good and proper.  I effed and I jeffed and I dropped every swear word known to man. All in the same sentence!!!

When I finished I quickly apologised and Errol sheepishly came up and gave me a cigarette.  I was shaking.  I never felt so angry.  I mean, we pay them to do a job and they obviously can’t fucking do it.  And the customer...it’s not fair!!  And I broke a major rule of mine.  A wise man once told me, he who raises his voice first loses the argument.  And I have kept that philosophy pretty much since that wise man told me that.

Well, let’s just say that they have miraculously located the parcel and are delivering it on Monday.

But that brings me to my point, Ragers and Ragettes.  Why do we have to resort to flipping the bitch switch?  Why do people take notice when we do that?  If people listened, paid attention and cared one wouldn’t have to do that.

And when you flip the bitch switch, you are automatically called a bitch.  It goes to the famous question, how come when a woman flips the bitch switch she is a bitch and when a man does it he’s being “assertive”.  It pisses me off!!!

But as I have proven, Ragers and Ragettes, it’s a necessary evil.  You need to do it sometimes.  Why?  Because you know that you will be heard.  And, like with my current situation, you end up getting things done.  And also, it feels good.  I admit it.  When I was smoking the cigarette that Errol gave me, I felt like I was having a post coital cigarette.  I felt like I had saved the world in a way.  Well, Simon’s world anyway.

But I don’t want to constantly do it because it loses the effect.  If you constantly have the bitch switch to the on position, you are just a bitch!!  But if it is flipped every once and a while people are ok with that. 

Ragers and Ragettes.  What I am saying is if you feel that it is necessary to flip the bitch switch do it.  But when you do it, be like a fucking hurricane.  Leave some distruction behind.  Then take your compact out, retouch your make up, slick your lippy on and give them that winning smile.  Because that’s what makes the bitch switch the most effective.  Keeping people guessing as to when you will flip it.

I won’t flip it again for awhile, I think.  Right now I am enjoying Keith, Errol and Simon respecting and treating me like a prinnie.  I feel a bit bad but I think I will enjoy it for a few more hours at least...

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, stay fabulous!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxx

On Gym Fail: Part 2

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  It’s a sunny Wednesday here and I am loving the fact that we are getting some sun.  I will hopefully get to drop the top today on the way home, put my sunglasses on and just go with it!

So last night I had a lovely evening with Simon.  There is nothing better than snuggling up on the settee and watching a film together.  He’s truly amazing!

So this morning after another fabulous sleep (no caffeine and ear plug equals fabulous night’s sleep!!) my Fitbit alarm went off (It’s a silent alarm.  As I wear it around my wrist it vibrates and I wake up so no need to wake Simon!!  Result!!) and I managed to pull myself out of bed.  It was difficult.  Simon was looking so sweet, cute and innocent.  But I forced myself into the bathroom to get myself ready for another workout.

So I got dressed, got my things kissed Simon on the temple, whispered that I loved him and that I would see him soon, I tucked the covers up over him, his shoulder felt cold.  He stirred a bit but settled.

I then went to the gym and got in at 6:05am.  I did an ok workout.  I power walked for 45 minutes at a 10% incline and 5.3 kilometers an hour....and by walked I meant pulled my body up the treadmill while my face got more purple with each passing minute.  Anyone who says that time flies and that a minute is fast really needs to be doing 45 minutes on the treadmill walking at a 10% incline at 5.3kph and getting to 44 minutes and feeling like your legs, arse and thighs are in agony!!!!!

So I finished the treadmill torture and did 20 minutes on the bike to stop my legs from seizing up.  I completed my 1 hour of cardio and happily went into the changing room.

Now from yesterday’s shannaigans, there were 3 witnesses.  Today there were 4 ladies in the changing room, 2 of which witnessed my fall from grace and on my arse while wearing my sucking in knickers.  I vowed to not have the same issue as yesterday so I confidently got my towel, shampoo and conditioner and body wash and strutted to the shower.

I had a lovely shower.  My body needed it!  I finished and towelled off and strutted back to my locker to get dressed.

Today I am wearing my vintage navy blue and white polka dotted ruffled dress with my red peep toed stilettos.  No sucking in panties required today so no fail?

I put my cocoa butter on and grabbed my plastic bag with my dress and such and my bra was on top which I put on.  My towel was around my waist to protect my modesty. I searched through the bag to find my knickers...no knickers in the bag...at all.  Shit!!

I looked around and one of the women from yesterday cottoned onto what was happening.  She grinned at me. 

I sheepishly got my dress and pulled it over my head praying that no one saw that I was without underwear.  I tried to act normal but you try drying your hair, styling, putting make up on without bending over and showing everyone what you had for dinner the night before!!!!

Oh the embarrassment!!!!!!

So I went to leave praying that a gust of wind wasn’t going to blow up my dress and expose pretty much everything.  I put my gym bag over my body and held my skirt down and with my head down I walked out of the changing room.  The lady that grinned at me yesterday gave me a smile and a wink.  Christ...

I walked out to my little car and put my gym bag in the boot and then to the passenger door to put my handbag in. 

My lunch fell out as I opened the door and luckily I caught it in time and luckily I didn’t flash anyone!!!  I got into my car and I looked over to change the radio station and what did I see?  My Union Jack knickers...on my passenger car seat....that everyone pretty much must have seen as I was parked next to the entrance door to the gym...ground, please swallow me up!!!!!!

So I drove to the shop to get a few things for dinner tonight.  I put my knickers into my handbag and ran into the toilets and I put my knickers on.   

I confidently got out and bought my items at the shop and drove to work.

I feel so embarrassed!!!  Christ!  One fail is one thing but another fail the day after???  Jesus!!!  This isn’t good!!!  I need to pull myself together!!!

So the lesson learned from this today?  Before I go into the gym, make sure that the front seat of the car is clear and that all items required are taken into the gym with me to prevent me from making a total tit of myself again!!!!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!! Oh well, we cannot be perfect all the time, Ragers and Ragettes!  So, pick yourself up and keep going!!!

So until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, stay fabulous!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

On Adventures in the Gym

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!  I hope that you are having a great Tuesday!  Tuesdays to me are nothing days.  My theory is that every day has a feeling except for a Tuesday.  Mondays are the dreaded days (not for me!!), Wednesdays are the halfway point, Thursdays are exciting because it’s the day before Friday, Fridays are awesome because it’s the end of the working week, Saturdays are respite and rest days and Sundays are strange because they are the day you have to get everything ready for the upcoming week.  Tuesdays?  No feeling at all!!!

Anywho, I digress!!

Well last night I had a fantastic sleep!!!  I had been having some troubles sleeping recently, well since I have moved in with Simon.  First, the blinds that were fitted at our window are not blocking the sun out enough.  The window in our room has the sun blaring in during morning hours.  It’s not very pleasant!  So I remedied that with a pink pretty princess sleep mask!  Second, Simon snores and I mean snores.  This doesn’t sound human.  It sounds like one of his chainsaws that he sells!!  Christ it’s not human what comes out of him at night!!!  So I have invested in some heavy duty silicon earplugs.  They mould to the shape of your ear and create a plug so no sound comes in.  Amazing!!!

But I found that I still couldn’t sleep.  So I yesterday when we were having a laugh with Keith and Errol it dawned on me what was keeping me awake!

Each night with my dinner I have been having a can of Diet Coke with citrus in it....amazing!  I love it!!!  But this obviously has caffeine in it so hence, no sleep for Betty!!  

Last night I didn’t have that and I went to sleep cuddled in Simon’s arms wearing my pretty princess sleep mask and ear plugs and slept like a baby!!!  It was amazing!!!

So I got up, kissed Simon softly and went to get my keys to drive to the gym.  Well, because Simon drove my car yesterday with me in it, I forgot my car keys and keys to work on my desk at work!!!!  I took my spare key and 5:55am this morning I was off to the gym!  

I like going to the gym in the morning because it is out of the way then for the day.  As you all know I am trying to lose some weight.  It’s been going ok.  I have enlisted help from a Fitbit.  It’s a black bracelet that counts your steps and you log your activity, food intake and sleep.  And from that it tells you how many calories to consume if you want to lose weight.  Result!!!  I lost 4 pounds to begin with and then I have gained 7 back but I weighed myself this morning and I have lost 1 pound.  I need to get my head out of my ass and do this!!!!  So I am now eating practically bunny food but I am going to treat myself on the weekend.  But I am craving burgers.  I want a big dirty burger with bacon, cheese, more bacon and more cheese with more cheese and bacon.  But my waistline is a reminder that this isn’t a good idea....but it is only as a treat.

So I have dedicated myself going back to the gym.  

My new gym is ok.  In my last job it was filled with pretentious stuck up skinny bitches so it was a bit intimidating to go.  But this gym is great!  St Helens isn’t a very glamorous place so it’s just filled with people who want to keep their heads down and have a good workout.  

The ladies’ changing room is clean, has a sunbed (Betty Rage doesn’t do sun beds!!!  I love my porcelain skin!!), and hair dryers!!  It’s really nice and less than half the price I was paying at the pretentious skinny bitch gym. 

The workout equipment is new, clean and used properly.  There are no little scroatie scum bags that go so people just want to go in and do a hard workout.  

This morning I didn’t feel like doing a hard workout so I did a short arm workout ad popped on the exercise bike with the intention of doing 40 minutes.  After 21 minutes I was seriously bored.  So I stopped the bike, recorded the calories which I entered into my Fitbit app and decided to go and walk a bit.  I started the treadmill and decided that I wanted to make it a bit more difficult.  So I ramped up the incline to 5% and was walking at 4kph.  I slowly started to ramp up the incline and the speed and before I know it I was a sweaty Betty power walking at 5kph at a 10% incline and 252 calories and 30 minutes later I had completed my workout.  I logged it in my Fitbit. Feeling smug I went to the changing rooms to shower off and get fabulous!

So I got into the changing room I went to my locker and opened it and my Julien MacDonald handbag flew out of my locker and hit me in the head.  I did have too many things in my locker!!!  I’m one of these people that always has too many things to carry!!  It is quite irritating!!

So I managed to get my shower stuff out and cram all my items back into the locker, put my padlock on with the woman next to me chuckling to herself.  

I had my shower (which was amazing!!) and I got back to get myself glammed up for a good day’s work.

I towel dried myself and put my cocoa butter on (That is the beauty product I swear by!!!  I love cocoa butter!!!!!  I use Palmers.  It is thick, creamy and smells delish!!!) and then proceded to get myself ready for work.

Well, as I had just had my shower and put cocoa butter on and as the changing room was quite  warm, I encountered a slight problem....Basically I am wearing my favourite vintage dress and when I wear it I have to wear my full body sucking in knickers to even out the lumps and bumps.  (Hence why I am going to the gym.  I cannot wait until I throw out these sucking in knickers!!!)  The changing room was very humid so when I was putting my sucking in knickers due to the high amount of humidity in the changing room, my sucking in knickers were not going on very easily.  So there I am, Ragers and Ragettes, trying to put my sucking in bodysuit on in a very humid room...I am hopping and jumping around the chainging room as the women in the changing room were giggling to themselves.  And to make this even more humiliating, I slip on a wet patch and fall flat on my arse in my sucking in pants and bra!!!  My mentor Elena would defo say that isn’t goddess like!!!

So what did I do?

I did what any fashionista would do.  I got up, and announced, the things I do to look good!  And I put my vintage dress on, did my hair and make up and I strutted my arse out of that changing room in my 5 and a half inch leopard print stilettos with my oversized sunglasses.  The girls in the changing room smiled and winked at me in what seemed to be appreciation.

See Ragers and Ragettes?  If you make a major faux pas and you just pick yourself up and tell yourself that you are fabulous you can pull it off!!  Maybe is that the true definition of being a goddess??

Anywho, I am having a fab day with Simon, Keith and Errol and looking forward to going home and spending quality time with my man.  But I still am missing my girlie time with Suzanne.  Sigh. 

So until next time, stay fabulous Ragers and Ragettes!!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxx

On Compromising: Part 2

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  Happy Friday!!  The sun is shining here and it’s lovely and warm!!  I love it!  So I am rocking today my favourite vintage sundress.  It’s a cute floral number with white, lime, turquoise, navy blue flowers and it has a lovely navy blue ribbon for a belt.  I have accessorised this little number with a white cardigan, a fierce blue cocktail ring, and some seriously chunky tan/wooden sandals.  And of course my red lippy!!  Suzanne texted me her dress choice.  She is rocking her black jeans, a black hoodie, her cowboy boots and her tan fringed bag.  God, I miss Suzanne L

Well, last night we moved Simon’s pet snake, Monty, into our home.  And Ragers and Ragettes...I am not happy at all with this considering that I have dead foetal rats in my freezer!!!!!  I didn’t get angry though....Betty Rage doesn’t do angry, causes frown lines and that is not a look that I am into!!

Betty Rage gets even.

So after we moved Monty into the flat, we walked to our local pub for a drink.  Simon could sense my disdain at the situation and was asking if I was ok.  I smiled sweetly and said, darling, I am ok.  I lit a cigarette and let the smoke curl in front of him.

I then said to him, let’s get something straight, Monty is your pet.  You feed, water, and handle Monty.  When you feed him I don’t want to be in the vicinity (I am sensing more late night gym sessions!!!).  I then smiled my most coy smile.

You see, I was texting my girl Suzanne about this and she came up with a valid point.  Why must Simon just have his pet and I can’t have one of my own?  So, Betty Rage is getting her own guinea pigs. 

I will buy them myself.  With my own money.  If Monty the snake is going to be foisted on me then I am getting my guinea pigs.  Compromises, eh?

But I don’t know what it is about Simon, he looked at me and said when are you going to buy your guinea pigs?

I didn’t even mention it!!!  How the hell did he know that I was thinking that????  And I thought that I was a woman of mystery!!  I guess that Simon and I are truly a match!  I took his hand, gave him my coy little smile and said, darling that is the fun bit.  You won’t know.  It may be next month, next year, next 6 months....I bit my lip.

He then cuddled me and told me that he was sorry for the upset at the Monty situation.  We talked it through and we are going to be ok.

Compromise is the name of the game of the game, Ragers and Ragettes!  It also helps that Simon is reasonable and sweet.

As I have blocked Dan on the phone, he has now proceeded to email me.  He sent me an email telling me that I “let him down” and shit like that.  I wanted to say, Bitch, please!  What about the catalogue of emotional abuse that you have given me?   What about how you neglected me, tore my confidence down?  I had the decency to forgive, forget and try to be friends.  It’s something that I will never understand....ever.

So I wrote him an email back.  I wasn’t nasty or horrible.  I just told him to pick himself up and be strong.  I explained that his behaviour scared me and that I was worried (which is true).  I told him to sort himself out, get the help he needs and be the best he can be.

He replied with a one liner saying that I still let him down and he needs a new challenge.  So I am through contacting him.  That chapter is well and truly over.

I feel like all the loose ends are being tied up and things are being put right in this world.  A sense of stability and serenity has descended on me.  I feel like everything finally slotting into place.

Plus Simon has gifted me a cute mini laptop thing for me to use on my fabulous vanity with cute red velour chair.  So when our broadband goes up, I can write properly and freely.  (I’m writing this at work incognito....)

So, Ragers and Ragettes.  Please enjoy your weekend wherever you are in this world!  Have a fab time and if you can’t be good, be good at it!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

On Compromising

Morning Ragers and Ragettes!!  Sorry it has been awhile.  We are still waiting for our broadband to be installed.  It was supposed to be done on the 23^rd, and then we were told tomorrow but they have pushed to next Wednesday.  Once it has been installed, I can have my one hour of Betty Time a night so I can do my blog and other things.

Today is cold.  I really want summer to come and I want it now!!!  So I am rocking a beige and black tunic over my skinny jeans with a pair of fierce leopard print heels.  Obviously I have my red lippy and cheeky black flower in my hair.  I miss my old job in that I don’t get to see Suzanne and compare fashion.  Suzanne reported to me that she is rocking a pair of black boots, trousers, a turtleneck, a long black cardi and a fringed scarf.  We always used to appreciate each other’s outfits and Suzanne always offers good suggestions.  I miss my baby girl!!

Well, I have given up Rage Towers for 3 weeks now living an interesting life with Simon.  Living with Simon is actually alright.  He’s really thoughtful and I don’t have to train him too much.  The fact that we have separate bathrooms (no fights over toothpaste caps, toilet seats being up and cleanliness) and rooms makes it fabulous!

We have our main bedroom that we both sleep in.  This room as 2 wardrobes, a chest of drawers and obviously a bed and an en suite bathroom.  This is Simon’s room.  It’s plain and the decor is red, white and blue, kind a naval feel.  And the en suite just has a shower cubicle.  That is his bathroom.

My room has a massive wardrobe for all my clothes (could only fit a small percentage of m shoes in it) a chest of drawers and a vanity with a massive mirror that I put my perfumes, jewellery box, make up and I have space to do my writing.  It has a red velour chair that goes with it.  This is my room.  Because my room isn’t functional all the time, we put our laundry in this room to dry.  I do the ironing here also.  See?  Compromise!!

My bathroom has a bath, and shower and a massive mirror and shelves to put my facial stuff on.  Fabulous!  I have decorated it Monochrome.  My toothpaste holder and soap holder and glossy black with diamantes on it.  Did you expect less?

As we have compromised on the living arrangements, our lives are easy.  We haven’t had any domestics yet.  That’s pretty good!!  One will happen one day, I know it, but we are both so laid back.

We also compromise on the cooking arrangements.  Simon can’t cook at all.  He never really has had to cook before.  I can, well, kind of cook.  The amount of people that have given me cookbooks and cooking related utensils is unreal!!!  I can muddle through and make a few things.  I have started out making what I know.  Stir fries, steak, Thai Green curry and I have now started to spread my wings and make spaghetti and meatballs (the meatballs are store bought and so is the sauce but I want to get to the point where I am making it all myself.) with bread rolls, chilli and rice.  I am looking for other simple, healthy meals so if any of you Ragers and Ragettes have any ideas, please let me know!!  You’d be helping the rest of the Ragers and Ragettes out! 

Anyway, I do the cooking and Simon cleans up!  Honestly!!  He takes the plates and utensils and puts them in the dishwasher, cleans the counter tops and mops the floor!!!  I try to help but he says, you cooked I will clean.  I really hit the jackpot with this one!!!

So this is how we have been living.  When the broadband is up I will have my Betty Time and he will have his Simon Time.  I think it is so important to have time apart and do what you like to do.

But there is one issue that is causing some grief.............pets.

You see, Ragers and Ragettes, I am an animal lover (I do eat meat and bacon is the food of the gods!) and I would love to get a pet of some sort.  As we are in an apartment, we can’t really have a dog or a cat (even though I would love a kitty!) so we have had to go down the small creature route. 

But there are 2 problems with this.

Problem number one.  Simon has a pet python.  Yes, Ragers and Ragettes, you have read that right!  A pet, fucking python.  Named Monty.  (Monty Python, get it?)  This doesn’t bother me.  But what does bother me is that Monty’s favourite treat is foetal rats.  Yes, Ragers and Ragettes, foetal fucking rats. 

These foetal rats are stored in the freezer at his parents’ house.  The thought of having dead foetal rats in the freezer, frankly, makes me ill.  Imagine me taking out what I think is chicken, turkey or something like that and taking out foetal rats instead.  The thought is making me nauseous as we speak!

I was chatting to the warehouse lads this morning and they suggested that we put the rats in the freezer here at work.  That’s a thought.  I will have to think about how to resolve this.

Problem 2.  I have my heart set on a getting a guinea pig.  I have wanted a guinea for a very long time now.   I have names all picked out for them.  But the problem is that Simon’s mum is allergic to them.  The reason why this matters is that his parents would be the one to take care of them when we were away on vacation and stuff.  His parents come over to ours often too for drinks.

But when I was chatting with the Keith and Errol this morning and Keith mentioned that Simon’s mum is allergic to dogs.  And she has 2 dogs.....hmmmmmmmmm....

So I spoke to Simon about this.  He made some excuse about the type of dog isn’t sensitive to allergies and such.  I looked at him and realised that I have too much of a good thing going and I don’t want us to argue over something as trivial as a guinea pig. 

So we decided to have Monty the Python (I will use the we can’t have guinea pigs as leverage to put the foetal rats at work!!) and get some fish as a start and see what happens.

Yes, Ragers and Ragettes, sometimes compromise is so important.  Even if the other person is talking bullshit you need to bite your tongue and look at the bigger picture.  What is more important?  To me, Simon and our happy life.  He’s helped me, supported me, cared for me and draws me hot baths when I need it.  Yes, I think I can compromise on a Guinea Pig...but foetal rats?  I will win this one!!!!

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, stay fabulous!!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

On Getting Beauty Treatments and a Great Weekend

Happy Monday Ragers and Ragettes!!  I hope that you all had a fab weekend! 

As you know, on Friday (as it was payday) Simon gave me a half day and I went to the beauty salon to get prinnied up!  And prinnied up I got!

Simon drove me and I got in, announced my presence and waited for my first treatment.  The girls in the salon looked at me curiously. 

My name was called and I went to a pretty black haired woman who introduced herself to me.  She was going to get me nails back to their fabulous best!  Now, I thought as I am dating and successful business man and I am working for a successful business I better tame my nails. Instead of my Betty Rage scarlet talons, I opted for short French manicure.  The beauty therapist and I chatted freely and she asked about me and my background.  It was nice, I felt human again. 

Time was ticking on.  As I had an old set of acrylics on, she had to soak them off so my next appointment was coming up.  Bikini and eyebrow waxing.  

A larger lady came out and asked my nail technician if I was ready.  She looked at me and told me that she was going to do my bikini and eyebrows.

Now, I usually went to the Brazilian Waxing Company in Manchester for my waxing needs.  They are fab!  Quick, professional, lovely and well priced.  They use wax to do the waxing and they thread my brows.

Today, Betty Rage’s bikini line was going to get Sugared off.  Yes, sugared!  I have never heard of it either!!  Well it was interesting.  Still painful but it worked.  The more interesting thing was that I was a curiosity.  The woman who was sugaring my bikini line was saying that they were wondering about me.  They basically know most people in the town.  And because they didn’t know me they were curious.  I told them that I was dating Simon and I was “ok”.  They wax, manicure, pedicure and pamper Simon’s mum.  It was really weird.  I am different, I know but it was like a stereotypical situation that would see in a small town.  That kind of left a bad taste in my mouth.

When she finished my bikini line and my eyebrows, I went back to the front and my nail technician continued with my nails.  My next appointment was with a beautiful girl with big eyes.  She was going  to do my eyelashes, as in give me eyelash extensions.  She was very sweet but again, I got the impression that I was being sussed out.  She finished with my eyelashes and I went back to get my nails finished.

As my nail varnish was drying, I texted Simon to let him know that I was ready.

He came and picked me up and told me that I looked beautiful.  Sigh.  He’s great...

On Saturday, I woke up to a drunken message from Jan.  (Remember him?)  I don’t know how I felt.

I mean.  Jan...with his blue eyes, his chiselled cheekbones, that accent...damn...He is perfection to the highest degree.  He’s like an Adonis.  It’s scary.

I took a breath and sent a reply asking how he was and what he was up to.  I drove to the gym and started working out.  And just as Mazzy Star’s “Fade into You” came on my iPod, I got another text from Jan...Miss, please be my financial dominatrix. My heart went in my throat.  I closed my eyes and I did the one thing that made the most sense to me.  I sent a message to Suzanne. 

She came back saying that I was insane to entertain that thought!!  She was right.  I sent him a text saying that I am with someone now and that I am happy and if he wants a friend I am here.  I haven’t heard anything since.

When I got home, I cleaned myself and Simon and I headed to Manchester on the train to speak to my landlady.  She was coming up from London and we were going to speak about the flat and such.

We got in nice and early and had a lovely stroll around the town.  It was beautiful and sunny out.  

We finally met up with my old landlady, and I showed her Rage Towers.  She was taken aback at how much I cleaned, I bought new furniture and I made it look lovely.  She waived my final month’s rent.  I was touched.  We took her out for a drink and she insisted on buying both rounds.  We sat in the sunshine in Spinningfields and just enjoyed it.

She left to get her train and Simon and I went to Gourmet Burger Kitchen for a lovely meal.  We had an absolute lovely day. 

Then on Sunday I bounced out of bed.  We did our food shopping and then rushed to Simon’s parents.  I was so excited and so happy because I was going to see Suzanne!!!

When we got back from Simon’s parent’s house (later than I wanted!!) I rushed, got showered and put on a lovely vintage navy and white polka dotted dress and accessorised with my red peep toed shoes, a red flower in my hair, my red lippy and red rings and earrings.

We drove to Suzanne’s with the top down and I enjoyed every minute!  When I saw Suzanne I flung my arms around her and held her close to me.  I felt tears well up in my eyes.  It just felt great to be with my bezzie again.

We got in and I dumped Simon with Rick and chatted to Suzanne hugging her and telling her that I missed her so much. 

She looked really lovely too.  She was rocking a cute blue sleeveless blouse, black trousers and her trademark beaming smile.  I felt so happy and so much better about life because she was there.  I missed her more than I think that I will admit.  Her laugh, her smile....She’s a very precious and special woman to me. 

She and I did the Project 52 first photography shot.  I looked at the photos and I defo need to get back to the gym!!!!  So I am upping my game (I am considering going tonight after work) and keeping my head down and going for it!  By week 52 I want to look foxy as fuck!!  And with Suzanne I will!!

It’s been a good weekend very true.  And Monday?  Yeah, it’s been ok.  I am bit cranky and I am a bit teary today (I don’t know why) and so I have been quiet.  Simon is going to get a back rub from me tonight.

So there you go, Ragers and Ragettes.  Things are settling down nicely and I am feeling happier about life in general.  You get good days and you get bad days but when you are surrounded by good people, that’s all that matters!

So until the next time, stay fabulous!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxx

On the Ballad of Betty and Dan.......The Final Chapter?

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!  Happy Friday to you all!  It’s been a crazy, strange, mad week for me.

As you know from a past blog post, my ex Dan and I have been going through a bad patch.  This is now come to a head.

Since last time, I have been receiving texts from Dan.  Some were nice, some were abusive, some were desperate and pathetic, and all were emotional blackmail of the worst kind. 

 From what I can gather, Dan is going into therapy which is much needed for him.  He has so many issues it’s untrue.  The drinking is the biggest.  But I have found out since I posted about Dan last that there are other things happening.

He started to shit stir between a mutual friend and his girlfriend by saying to the girlfriend that our friend had fucked up and forgot something.  To which she replied, no he didn’t.  He was telling me things about our mutual friend that were not very good and made me lose respect for the friend.

And Dan said that he had an emotional breakdown and he was admitted into hospital for an overnight stay.  He didn’t tell anyone about this until last Saturday when he broke loose on me.  He called and gave me a barrage of abuse to the extent where I was in tears.  Simon witnessed me fall to the floor on my knees sobbing from the verbal barbs Dan threw.

Now Ragers and Ragettes.  I have had a mental breakdown before.  I do suffer with bi-polar disorder and I have OCD tendencies.  I have done the medicine thing (which is awful) which didn’t work for me at all.  I then did the therapy thing which worked a treat.  I am not perfect but writing this makes me feel better as I feel like I am getting it all out.  

I used to see Dan as this strong, tough lad from Liverpool that could take anyone on.  But I have also seen the dark side of Dan (as I outlined in a previous post) and that side, I have to say, has started to come back.

You see, Ragers and Ragettes, the feelings that I felt with him before are flooding back.  Not the love feelings but the feelings of guilt, fear, anxiety, inadequacy, and all other negative shit came back.  This has caused me sleepless nights.

Simon though has been amazing.  He’s listened to me and he snapped me out of this rut.  He told me that I shouldn’t feel like the bad guy here.  That this isn’t my fault and I don’t deserve to feel like this.

He’s right, Ragers and Ragettes!  I don’t need a friend like that in my life!!  He says that he is going through a mental breakdown.  But with the falsehoods that are coming to the surface, I don’t know what to believe.  And I need to confess, I am terrified to see him without someone there.  The messages that he is sending are scaring me.

I feel like I should be there but then I think back.  When I needed him when I first moved over he wasn’t there for me at all.  He emotionally neglected me.  He verbally abused me.  He picked at me, broke my confidence and made me feel useless.  He made me sell my guitar for beer money, he insulted me, made my body confidence drop.  And now he is giving me bullshit that I am not being there for him?  It seems like his attitude is, if I am not happy then you can’t be either!!!

Am I wrong in thinking and feeling what I am feeling?  I started to properly think about Dan’s and my relationship/friendship.  As one of my favourite songs by Sheryl Crow said, you don’t bring me anything but down.  Because that is all he does.  You know the saying, misery loves company?  Yeah.

You see, I have learned and started to make new friends.  Friends who don’t do that.

Take the gorgeous Suzanne.  When I see her, I feel renewed, invigorated, happy, and positive.  Her smile is infectious and her laugh makes me laugh too.  She is always there for me and I am there for her.  I’d take a bullet for that girl. 

She never, ever brings me down.  She always encourages me and cheers me on.  When I got my new job, my new boyfriend and new place, she was so happy for me.  Yes, I was sad to leave my old job (the only thing I was sad about!!!) because I would not have my daily hug and giggle.  Suzanne and I always have a great laugh together.  When we go out we always have a laugh!!!! 

With Dan, there is none of that.  We just end up drowning our sorrows.  Again, do I really need someone like that in my life??

So last night when Simon and I were in the pub having an after dinner drink he called.  I gulped and said hi.  He then started to question me about what I was doing tonight and Saturday.  Well tonight I wanted to chill with my man.  And tomorrow Simon and I are going into Manchester to hand my keys over to my old landlady then I am treating him to a meal for being so lovely.  This seemed to upset Dan.  He was very terse with me and we hung up.

He then sent a text saying that he doesn’t want to be in touch anymore.  The thing is that in the last few weeks, he has sent this text once a day at least. 

Simon saw the look on my face and said don’t be sad.  He hugged me and held me tight.  I looked at the love in his eyes.  I touched his face and made a decision.

I took my phone out, found his number and hit Block this Caller.  Simon looked at me and said, only do it if you mean it.  I realised that this was a long time coming.  I cannot take the emotional blackmail and verbal abuse anymore. 

So today is the first time that I feel like I am free.  Yes, Dan and I had good times but thinking about it they were drink fuelled times of self doubt and misery.

I have moved on with my life and I am in a good place.  And if people like Suzanne can be happy for me then why can’t Dan?

Ragers and Ragettes, don’t ever let anyone make you feel like shit.  You have the power to walk away.  It will be hard but true freedom comes when you learn to let go.

Dan, I had to do this.  You gave me no choice.  I don’t think bad of you.  I don’t feel anger towards you anymore just sadness.  Take care, darling.  Be safe and you’ll never walk alone.

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxx