On Starting Over Again?

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!  It’s a rainy and gross today.  Seriously.  I have had it with this shitty weather!!!  Today I am rocking my turquoise jumper, white vest, bell bottoms and my lucky retro blue Adidas trainers.  They are my favourite pair of “casual” shoes. 

Well, this Saturday I am getting my nails done (thank heavens!!!).  I feel naked without my nails on.   I get acrylic sculptured nails.  I have been experimenting with shapes and designs.  This time around,  I want a shape in between Square and Ballerina.  Here is what I am looking at:

I am excited!!!  I love it!!

There  is something that I love about the “New Year”.  The New Year makes me think about clean starts.  When I delivered my ultimatum to Simon, half of me just wanted to end it, start looking for a new job and a new place and move on.

I am certainly employable.  The world could be my oyster!!  If I were to leave Simon, I would probably try to get a job in either Liverpool or Manchester.  Then I would have to get a cute flat near my new employment.  Furnish it and such.  Hence why I am giving him 6 months.  That gives me time to get my shit together.  It also gives me time to if things are going pear shaped to detach myself emotionally from him. 

I admit I kind of miss being single.  Having the bed to myself, no snoring boyfriend, no cleaning up after a messy person.  Being able to watch what I want on TV and most importantly, I could find someone that isn’t like a 5 year old.

But I do love Simon.  I love how he looks when he laughs.  Or the way he holds me in bed when we are settling in to sleep.  Or how he goes all silly when he sees a puppy. 

I just don’t know what to do.  All I know is that things cannot go on the way that they are.  

Work is boring me senseless.  I see other jobs out there that are paying more and that I will actually be able to do what I should be doing.  I would get bonuses, holiday allowance and promotions. 

And the relationship?  I feel like it is a business transaction.  But ever since I put that email to Simon he has improved a lot.  Was a part of me hoping that he wouldn’t?   Is it the 2 year itch?  This is the most stable that I have ever been.

We have booked to go to Wales in February with his parents (this should be interesting) so that is a big start.  Before I read him the riot act he would have NEVER even considered a weekend in Wales with his parents.  But I sense that is going to be more stressful…

I don’t know Ragers and Ragettes.  It’s a strange one.  I just hope that the right solution presents itself and that I choose what is best for me in the long run.

So until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards up highadn your heels even higher!!

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxx