Monday, 19 January 2015

On Shakira and a Disrupted Weekend

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  It’s a cold and crappy day here in St Helens.  Today I am rocking my skinny jeans, a big red jumper and my knee high brown flat boots.  Normally I would wear heels but with the ice and cold, falling on the pavement doesn’t sound like a good idea!!!

I’m getting tired of winter.  I really long for summer!!!  And I am already looking forward to the next weekend.  My acrylics are in a right state (3 casualties!!!) and so are my eyebrows and bikini line.  Body maintenance is so important to me and I am feeling out of sorts in this state.  Roll on the 24th

Well on Friday I knew that my weekend would not be what I wanted it to be. 

As you know I wanted to start my vision board this weekend , so I started to make preparations.  I made a list of what I want to put on my vision board.  So  I printed off pictures of a red Mercedes SLK 250 convertible (it’s my dream car), my dream wedding dress, my dream engagement ring and finally a picture of my girl crush, the gorgeous Shakira.

Why Shakira, you may ask?   For 2 reasons. 

First, I want to be realistic about my goals.  I will not get the body of Kate Moss as we are a different shape.  The lovely Shakira has curvy hips and a curvy bum and nice toned tummy.  We have a similar body shape and we are a similar height.  Now I am not blessed genetically like the gorgeous Shakira but her body shape is something to strive for.    

Also, Shakira is an astute business woman.  With fragrance, jewellery lines and the fact that she is an ambassador for Unicef and other charities, I think that to be more like Shakira isn’t a bad thing.

Keith and I decided on Friday when it was quiet to look through and find some photos of Shakira and Keith opted for the photo of her in the She Wolf video writhing in a cage wearing a flesh coloured leotard and some killer shoes. Hot!!!  And I mean....honestly.  I would totally give up cock for Shakira.  So I went to print the picture off. 

Well, the lovely Shakira must have been so hot that 5 seconds after I hit print and the photo was being printed, the printer beeped....paper jam.

Keith looked at the printer and well, Shakira completely jammed the printer.  I mean, proper jammed the printer.

Simon got wind and well, let’s just say that a shouting match happened.  Keith tried to defend me but to no avail.  

I felt really sad.  Was this an omen?  Were my dreams not compatible with Simon’s?  I instantly felt horrible. 

Simon was effing and jeffing trying to get the paper unjammed.  Keith tried to joke but Simon wasn’t having it.  After about an hour, Simon was able to unjam the printer by dismantling it.  I kept my head down and put my music on. 

Later on in the day, I felt a tap on the shoulder, it was Simon.  Truce, he said.

He then handed me 2 pictures of Shakira that he printed off.  Truce, I said and smiled back.

I then got a text message from Rita.   She was upset because the guy that she is seeing behind her boyfriend’s back wants to buy a house with his current girlfriend.  She was in a bad way.  So I told her to come up on Saturday.  I wanted to do my vision board but she’s one of my closest friends and I do my best to be there for my friends.

So on Saturday I rocked my new red long sleeved Maxi Dress with my new waist cinching belt and completed the look with my knee high black heeled boots.  Fabulous!!!

Rita was a mess.  I mean a sobbing mess.  We went to the pub and Rita offloaded.  To be honest, I didn’t really listen.  I just nodded, gave the odd cuddle and tried to sympathize.  But honestly, cheating on your boyfriend with a guy that has a girlfriend.....that isn’t very smart is it?

Anyway, with my new healthy and clean eating regime, I was finding that when I  drink, I get drunk quicker.  3 glasses of wine later, I was feeling happy.  I mean really happy. 

It was time for Rita to go.  We walked back to the flat and she drove off.  I got in and kissed Simon and told him that I am so grateful that we are uncomplicated.  He smiled and kissed me back.  Sigh.  Being uncomplicated is the way to go....

By that time it was around 4pm.  I was going to have to start cooking and such.  So I didn’t get my vision board started.

Saturday night I didn’t sleep.  Simon kept me up all night snoring.  I went to the front room and decided to try and sleep on the couch.  Bad idea.

I woke up with a sore back.  It’s a concentrated spot where the shoulder blade meets the back.  It feels like a knot but there is no knot.

I went to my Personal Training session and had the worst training session that I ever had.  My trainer said that I had a good session but I felt like my body wasn’t functioning.  When I got home, my back was so sore.  I took a hot shower to try and relax it (baths are not my thing....I get bored and scared that I am going to drop a book or my iPad in) but it was still sore. 

So for the rest of the day I tried to make myself more comfortable.  It was hard.  I started to read teh magazines that I bought to use on my vision board.  

So before bed, Simon gave me a lovely back rub with massage oil.  It hurt when Simon rubbed over the source of the pain.  His massage helped quite a bit.

So here I am.  My back is still sore, not as bad though.  I took a day off from the gym.  I’m letting my back heal and I’m back at it tomorrow.  Simon is giving me another massage tonight.  It's much needed.

I’m gutted because I didn’t get to the vision board.  I read all the magazines that I am using though!!!  I think that through out the week I am going to start cutting up the bits and pieces.

So there you go!!!  In 11 days, I am off to Amsterdam so I am using that to keep me sane.   I am so psyched, I cannot wait!!!! 

So until next time, Ragers and Ragettes!!  Keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!

Lots of Love


The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxx

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