Twas the Friday Before Christmas....A Christmas Poem

Twas the Friday before Christmas

And I woke up very late

I was feeling sleepy and grumpy

And so was my mate.

By waking up too late

I missed my spinning class

Which isn’t very good

I need to tone up my ass!

I pulled myself out of bed

Feeling and looking like shit

Went to the mirror

Where I saw a huge zit!

A big angry red spot

Where my neck meets my face

A very uncomfortable boil

On a very noticeable place!

The Party is tomorrow

What’s a girl to do?

And I’m also suffering from

A bloated sore tummy too!

A girl’s worst nightmare

This can’t be real!

Tomorrow I need to look like a prinnie

The spot must heal!

The boyfriend and I

Make our way to work

We then start fighting

Because he’s a selfish jerk!

I stomp out in tears

And throw a massive strop!

Pick up a packet of ciggies

From the corner shop

He texts me back

Says he’s sorry that’s he’s a jerk

I miss you baby

Please come back to work

I get back to a cuddle

And light one up.

Ready to tackle the rest of the day

And get some coffee in my cup.

The pressing matter is

This big angry spot

I can’t go to the party

I simply cannot!!!!

I look up remedies

Toothpaste and oil from a tree

What the fuck, I don’t think so

I ain’t putting that shit on me!!!

Steaming and a concealer

So many to try

I need to get it sorted

Or I’ll simply die!!!

So Ragers and Ragettes

I don’t know what to do

Help a sister out

What works best for you?

I need to get going

I feel such a fright

Happy Friday before Christmas to all

And to all a good night!!!!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxx

On Christmas Party Dress Excitement

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!  It’s a chilly day today so I am wearing my fuchsia, orange, white and black striped shift dress, my black peplum jacket and my black knee high 5 inch stiletto boots.  Fabulous!

It’s only 8 days until Christmas and I have to admit, I am excited.  For Christmas?  Hell no!

In 3 days, it’s the work Christmas Party.  I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited for that!  Now remember I had my heart set on an ice blue dress and I found a gorgeous red dress?

Well, I finally received the red dress.   It was a bit of a trauma but I finally received it!  The company I bought the dress from decided to use a certain delivery company (which shall remain anonymous) that have a reputation for being quite unreliable.  I was scared that I was going to not get it in time.  I received a text the day after I ordered my dress saying that it was going to be delivered.  I was happy.

But it didn’t get delivered that day.  I received a text the following day saying that it was going to be delivered.  I got my hopes up and it didn’t arrive. 

No we were onto Saturday.  I put down the delivery point as work.  I checked the tracking and they said that it was out for delivery.   I wasn’t going to be there!!!  No dress that day too. 

Finally on Monday I received it.  And Ragers and Ragettes?  It was worth the wait!!! 

Every woman should have a dress that makes them feel like they are the most attractive woman in the world.  This is the dress.   It accentuates my curves, it’s a halterneck and so it shows my shoulders (with my workouts with my new personal trainer, my shoulders are looking amazing!!) it has a slit up to the thigh and paired with a gorgeous pair of Topshop golden sandals that I have, it’s poetry in motion!!! 

I plan on putting my black and gold envelope clutch, red and gold earrings and a red statement ring.  I am getting my hair, makeup and nails done on the Saturday.  So I am planning on going for red sparkly nails, gold eyeshadow and red sparkly lipstick.  Fabulous!!!  I’m thinking hairwise, going for a Jean Harlow look.  Old Hollywood glamour...love it!!

Getting ready to go out, for me, is more fun than actually going out!  I have a ritual. 

First I get my beauty treatments done.  Then I come back, get into the shower and once I am finished I put my cocoa butter on (this is a must have for every woman!!!!!   Put it on when you get out of the shower and when your skin is still damp...that’s how you get the best of it) and I put my big bathrobe on.

Then I go and pour myself a glass of wine and I start to get myself ready.  If I haven’t had my makeup done, I would do my makeup and then my hair.  I start with my eyes first.  Because if you are doing eyeshadow, little bits of eye shadow will drop on your cheeks and around your face.  If you have foundation on, it will mess it up.

I then prime my skin, the apply my foundation, conceallor and face powder.  I don’t tend to wear blush because I have a natural pink glow. 

I then do my hair.  As I have a standard bob hair cut, there isn’t a lot I can do.  So  I tend to just leave it sleek.  I dry it and straighten it.  I use mousse and volumising hair powder.

Then comes the best bit....putting on my outfit. 

Now when you have a big function, what you wear under your outfit is just as, or even more important than the actual dress.

The best invention is spanx or anyt sort of sucking in knickers.  I have4 different types!  I have some large sucking in pants, ones that are like shorts that are thigh slimming, a body suit that have straps that go over the shoulders and are bikini cut.  You can wear your own bra with it and I have another one that is similar but it has longer legs (down to the knees).

Then you need to think of the best bra for the outfit.  A strapless bra will do for my type of dress but there are some fabulous new types of bras out now.  There are stick on ones, tape that pulls your boobs up, a backless bra...the combinations are endless!!  For Saturday I am opting for a stock on bra with tape that pulls my boobs up and my sucking in bottoms with thigh slimming.  Fabulous!

So I am I so excited to get ready.  I don’t know or care what Simon is wearing.  I want to look like a goddess. 

I also want Simon to look at me the way he looks at his Mercedes.  I want to wow him.  And I think I will.

So the countdown begins....3 more days until I get to put the dress on and be a goddess for a bit.  But as my girl crush Elena taught me, goddess is a state of mind and in that case, I am defo a goddess!!!

Until next times, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxx

On Tempted by the Fruit of Another.....Christmas Dress...

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!  It is so cold outside!!!  Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!  I am rocking my favourite cream jumper, my ultra skinny jeans, brown knee high boots.  I have a thermal top under my jumper, thermal leggings under my jeans and thermal socks.  I am still cold!!!  My little space heater by my desk is on full blast!!!  My feet are so cold!!!

Well today, I ran into a massive quandary. 

As you know, received my ice blue dress yesterday for our Christmas Party.  I tried it on and it is a very sexy little number indeed!!!  Very beautiful.  I pulled my shoes and handbag out and gave the ensemble a twirl.  Gorgeous!!!

I came in today smiling and feeling quite happy.  Then I opened my emails and saw it....a certain boutique that I love to shop at sent an email with offers on Christmas dresses.  As I ate my breakfast, I thought that I would have a little look.

Then I saw it.  My mouth dropped open.   A beautiful red maxi dress with thigh split with gold chain halter neck straps....oh....my.....God!!!!

I clicked on it and I was blown away.  This frock was stunning!!!!  I zoomed in.  Absolute class!!!  I was in a tricky situation.

I have my beautiful ice blue frock with silver tiara and silver bling and then here is this stunner.  Red, slinky, classy and elegant.

I was being tempted by another dress!!!!

So I did what any self respecting girl would do.  I messaged Suzanne.

Suzanne has a very level head when it comes to these sorts of things.  She is always practical and I trust her 100% to give me the best advice.

So I told her and sent her the photo of the red dress.

She gave me the best advice.  She said get the red dress for the Christmas party and the ice blue one for New Years Eve.

Of course!!!!  Suzanne always gets it right!!!  Honestly!  So wear the ice blue frock for New Years and the red maxi glam dress for Christmas!!!  It makes perfect sense to me!!!

Now comes the important part....accessorizing the dress.

As it has a bit of bling on it so when it comes to accessorizing this, I am going to have to err on the side of caution.

So I am thinking.  Black peep toe heels, my black and gold clutch bag, earrings I have some red and gold ones and a red and gold cocktail ring. 

Should I put a tiara on?  I think that I should.  I mean, I can’t be the ice queen but I can be the Christmas prinnie?  

So many things to think about!!  Whatever happens I will look fabulous!!! 

So until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!!!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxx

On Simon's Ruined Birthday

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  Happy Monday indeed!!!  Brrrrrrrrrrrrr!!  It is absolutely freezing outside!!!  Today I would rather be cuddled up in my room on my bean bag (which is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo comfy), wrapped in a duvet with a hot chocolate and Netflix.  I finished watching a Danish show (and there was 1 Danish cock on display....my theory is totally correct!!  Danish men have huge dicks!!) but I found  few others to watch so it’s all good.  Anywho, I would rather be sitting in my room snuggled up watching Netflix.  It’s cold!  So today I am rocking a red sparkly jumper with my super skinny jeans, and my brown knee high boots with fleecy socks underneath.  I hate being cold!!!!

I received my Christmas Party dress today and it is absolutely gorgeous!!!!!!!  I am in love with this dress!!!!  I cannot wait to try it on and strut my stuff in it.

So on Friday was Simon’s birthday.  And I was feeling really positive.  We left work and drove to the flat, I got ready in record time and I looked fabulous!!!   I mean I look really fabulously fabulous!  I really liked the look!  Simon wore a nice shirt and his jeans and boots and he looked lovely.  When I strutted out he smiled and held me.  I breathed him in...there was no other place that I wanted to be.

I received a call and it was from his mum.  She slurred, dad is on the way to pick up.  Simon turned white.  His mum was drunk.....again...

I grabbed a bottle of bubbly from the fridge and some glasses.  I smiled and tried to keep him smiling but he looked on edge.

His dad picked us up and when we got in, his mum greeted us.  She was trashed!  She was wearing a blue backless lace dress with tights and heels.  Her makeup was done and she tried to cover the purple and redness in her skintone.  Betty!!!!  She said as she pulled me forward for a hug.  You look gorgeous and she put a big kiss on my cheek.  I smelled the booze.  Simon was frozen with a look of sheer terror, horror and embarrassment.  I didn’t know what to do.

She saw the bottle of bubbly in the bag I brought and she grabbed it and opened it.  I took it from her and poured 4 glasses.  We went out to their little cabin in the garden and sat down.  His mum said I will stay inside and wait for the guests. 

Simon was quiet.  I tried to talk and get the conversation going with his dad.  It was hard because there was such an atmosphere.

The rest of the guests arrived and my mama then called me.  I went out of the cabin and spoke to her.  I told her that Simon’s mum was drunk and that I hoped that she would sober up by the time she ate.

The guests all arrived and so did the cabs.  The first cab came and the work lads, Paddy and his brother popped in.  The next cab was for me, Simon, and his parents.  We got in and were on our way to the restaurant.  It was the longest 20 minutes of my life.  Simon’s mum kept on asking Simon what was wrong.  Simon was clenching his fists.  I kept the conversation going as best as I could.  When we were about 2 minutes away his mum asked are you ok again.  Simon snapped.  No I am not he said with a raised voice.

Luckily we pulled up to the restaurant.  I paid the driver and walked out with Simon behind me.  His mum stumbled behind me. 

We found our table and I went to get the drinks for Simon and I and to get away and think on how to defuse the situation.  I ordered our drinks and I turned and Simon’s parents were putting their coats on.  I looked at Simon and his dad approached me.  He put his arm around my waist and said, Betty we are leaving.  Simon has said that his mum as had too much to drink so we are going to go home.  My mouth hung open.  They walked out.  Simon walked up to me and I said are you ok?  He hugged me and I got his drinks. 

I told Simon what his dad told me.  He looked at me and said that didn’t happen.  I asked Mum to stop drinking for the rest of the night and she refused

The other guests started to come in.  I went through the meal on autopilot.  Smiled at the right time, laughed at the right jokes.  I had only 1 and a half glasses of red wine.

I texted his dad to ask how he was and his dad blamed Simon....How was this Simon’s fault?

As the evening went on, I started to think....what other special occasions has Simon’s parents ruined?  How many birthdays, school functions, parties, holidays....How could a mother choose alcohol over her son?

I grew more sad as I looked at him.  I had to stop myself from welling up.

When the night finished and we got home, Simon and I got into bed and he held me, his head on my chest.  I felt warm liquid on my chest and I looked down, Simon was crying.  I looked up at the ceiling trying to hold back my tears.  I ran my fingers through his hair.  Shhhhhhhhhhh, I soothed him.  It’s ok my darling.  He cried himself to sleep.

I didn’t sleep well that night.  I felt myself getting angrier and angrier.  I woke up at 7:30 and went to the gym and had a hell of a workout.  Anger really is a great motivation.

I received texts throughout the day from Simon’s dad saying that his Mum’s feelings are hurt, that he is spoiled and that they are not going to help out at work (which is a blessing, Simon’s mum is a hindrance plus they bring the dogs in and they cause issues.)  Proper emotional blackmail.   I didn’t tell Simon this as I didn’t want to add to the misery.

So here I stand after this strange weekend wondering where the future is going to go.  I will stand by Simon forever.  I love him.  But I know how much parents are important but his mum is clearly sick.  She needs help but won’t admit it.  How many more occasions will she ruin before she gets the hint?  If Simon and I get married, will she get trashed there and ruin our day? 

I don’t know what to do, Ragers and Ragettes.  I am sad, gutted, fuming and confused all in one.  This is a problem that is always going to be here unless help is sought out.  I just don’t know how to proceed. 

I guess that all I can do is stand by my man, love him and listen to him.  Wipe his tears away and be strong for him.  What else can I do?

Until next time Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher.

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxx

On Simon’s Birthday and a New Outfit Choice

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!  It’s Friday!  I am so happy that it is!  I am rocking my skinny jeans, leopard print sheer blouse and my black peplum jacket with my black stiletto knee high boots.  It’s a cold and windy day in St Helens. The sort of day that I would rather be snuggled up in my duvet watching Netflix and eating M&M’s.

But today is an important day.  It’s my Simon’s 29^th birthday.  So I have been rushing around and trying to get everything ready for him. 

This morning he woke up to one of our guinea pigs near his face.  He loves the guinea pigs.  I gave him his card and he seemed happy with that.

We got to work and Errol got his presents that we hid in the back of his car. 

Simon is very difficult to buy presents for.  When he sees something he likes, he simply buys it.  So I had to really think outside the box.  So went onto a man gadget shop and purchased a gun that shoots elastic bands, a mini pool table and a calendar that has been signed by his favourite pin up girl. 

When he opened his presents he seemed quite pleased.  He played with the elastic band gun shooting the elastic bands at Keith and Errol.  He then played a quick game of pool.  He then pinned his new calendar to the wall, opening it to the centrefold. 

So far so good!

The big challenge is for tonight.  He doesn’t know where he is going so I am winding him up telling him that we are all going skiing.  We are all actually going to a gorgeous restaurant in a place called Hindley (which is 20 minutes away).

Now this has been a military like operation.  I have had to keep this secret.  So I have booked the taxi, the restaurant and organised with 9 men to get to a set place at a set time...

That doesn’t sound like much, but honestly, men are like children.  So I had to write everything down and basically draw them all a picture. 

And because this time of year, the restaurants are busy, I had to book the food for everyone (besides Simon’s, he will order tonight) and put a deposit down.  It was stressful but I did it!!!

So the plan for tonight is get to Simon’s parent’s house for 6ish.  Have some Prosecco, wait for the others to arrive then at 6:30, leave in the taxi to get to the restaurant for 7pm.  There, his best friend and her new boyfriend are meeting us (he doesn’t know this, another surprise for him).

The Restaurant was his best friend’s idea.  It’s called Summat to Ate (funny name, I know!) and it’s a cool looking restaurant with a great concept.  It’s a steak restaurant and you cook your steak at your seat!  It comes out on a hot volcanic rock and you leave it there for as long as you want!  It’s a man place.  The lads are all excited.

Then after we are going to get a taxi back to St Helens and have a few beers.  We are also meeting Andy in town.  Hopefully not a repeat of last work night out?

But the most important thing.....yes, Rager and Ragettes....my outfit!

I have decided to go outside my comfort zone.  As you know, whenever I go out, I usually wear a mini dress that is red, or a black jumpsuit.  But I decided to break these 2 rules! I want to get more jewel tones in my wardrobe (as the gorgeous Suzanne pointed out to me) so I decided to wear a pinky/peachy blazer over a cobalt blue plunging vest, ultra skinny jeans, my carvela peachy/pinky 6 inch stiletto Mary Jane styled heels with a leopard print clutch bag and the most blingtastic cocktail ring that I have ever seen!!!  Fabulous!  I am also rocking blue nails and tonight I am going to attempt cobalt blue eye shadow with pink lips.  It’s a far out look for me but I thought that I would try it.  You never know, I might be rocking this trend in the future!!! 

I don’t know if I am more excited about the actual celebration or if I am excited about getting ready to go out in my new outfit!! 

So fingers crossed it all goes to plan.  I want to give Simon the best birthday ever.  He deserves it.  A lot of time in work I see he gets stressed and upset.  I just want him to relax and chill and enjoy his special day.

So I raise my glass to you, Simon.  Thank you for loving me, for believing in me, for making me laugh, keeping me on my toes and for being a wonderful boyfriend.  We have our ups and downs.  Our little spats but we never go to be angry with each other.  That, to me, is the most important thing ever.  So Simon, enjoy your day and I hope to spend the next 29 years happily with you.

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, keep your head and standards high and your heels even higher!

Lots of love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxx