Sunday 31 August 2014

On Distractions from an Unsettling and Strange Weekend

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!  It's a strange Sunday here in St Helens.  It's sunny one minute, then threatening rain the next.  I don't think that Mother Nature knows what to do!!!

Well, today I am here in my little sanctuary and I am rocking a white vest and my grey yoga pants...comfort is the name of the game today.

It's been a strange, crazy and unsettling weekend.

The drama started on Friday.  Simon was expecting a delivery on Thursday of stock.  We were in contact with the shipping company asking where the truck was.  We were told that the driver ran out of hours and had to park up 30 kilometres away.  Something just didn't sit right.

On Friday, after me chasing the shipping company for 2 hours we found out a disaster happened.  Over night, £7,000 worth of stock was stolen over night.  Simon was livid.  I had to talk to the haulier outside so that I could hear because Simon was swearing and screaming.  My heart was pounding and I felt sick to my stomach.  Physically sick...

So on Friday, I periodically went to the toilet to cry.  Simon works so hard.  How could someone do this??? I tried to make Simon laugh.  And I succeeded.  On the load (when it finally arrived) there was new stock so Simon had a play with the new stock and looked happier.

I spent the day onto the police trying to demand that something be done.  I was put through to one department to another precinct and back.  It was frustrating.  I just needed to distract Simon.  I was wearing a low cut top and so I made my cleavage more prominent to distract Simon...it worked.  As I always say, my boobs really brings out his eyes....

The strangeness filtered into the weekend.  So I tried to distract myself.  So I put all I could into the gym.

I have recently changed my routine and eating and it's paying off.  I am losing the weight.  I am an emotional eater so usually I would call in for a pizza and get a bottle of red wine and drown my sorrows in a calorie laden fashion.

This time I distracted myself with my gym routine.  I went to the gym and gave it my all.  When I finished, I couldn't run, lift or crunch any more.  It was an amazing feeling.

To cheer Simon up, I went to Starbucks and bought him his favourite coffee....a large caramel latte with an extra shot of coffee.  When I presented this to Simon, he was so happy.

Yesterday, I distracted Simon by doing some work.  We have a massive business opportunity in America so we are doing the preparations.  It was hard, tensions were rising (I smiled to myself...I knew what was going to happen later....) and we got stuck with a simple upload.

Suzanne distracted me by a project that she is doing.  She wants to make a nice little reading and writing nook for herself.  Now I am not very good with decorating...the decorating I am good at is my clothes and make up!!!  Now Suzanne is amazing with decorating!!  She is so creative so she was bouncing ideas off of me.  It made me think about my room and my writing nook.  I think I will do that as a project and ask Suzanne for some help.  Plus that means we'd spend time together doing creative things which is amazing anyway.

So here I am now, distracting myself from the feelings and the emotions.  I went to the gym this morning, did a hard workout, had a shower and I am now writing my thoughts and feelings.  This is the only way that I can keep sane.  Being strong for Simon is the priority.  Simon is playing Grand Theft Auto 5 and distracting himself by stealing cars, shooting people and slapping bitches up.

So I am preparing myself mentally for a new week, keeping a positive attitude and trying to make sense of the last 72 hours.  Plus this distracts me from the overflowing basket of ironing that has been sitting there for a month...I really need to tackle that but there are so many shoes to look at!!

Sorry if this is a bit disjointed but Ragers and Ragettes, thank you for being the ultimate distraction.  Thank you for keeping me sane.

So take care, enjoy your Sunday and I promise the next post will be happier and more positive!!!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxx

Thursday 28 August 2014

On Work Tensions = Great Sex

Good Morning Ragers and Ragettes!!!!  It's a sunny day here in St Helens and I think that summer is trying to come back but it's not as hot as it was before.  So today I am rocking my bootcut jeans, a skull printed tank top, a push up bra which is giving me epic cleavage, cowboy boots, my velour jacket and my red lippy.  Fabulous!!

I received a gorgeous surprise today from Simon.  He went and purchased me a beautiful heated red massage chair!!!  It's comfy and lovely.  I'm in heaven!!!

It has been really tense here in work recently.  We have had a lot going on.  Keith has been promoted and he is doing the technical stuff because let's face it...I don't understand engines and I feel helpless when being asked about them so it's brilliant news for me.

But there are also other things going on.  We have been asked to sell our stuff on a bigger platform in the US so I am getting a lot of work thrown at me.  Simon has been barking orders and been generally grumpy.

This has been going on for 2 days.  Yesterday I snapped back at him and told him that if he ever talks to me like that again, I will take the machette that I have by my desk (long story) and chop his dick off.  He looked shocked and quickly apologised. 

The rest of the day was very tense.  I just put my headphones on and listened to some music and got on with the spreadsheet work he wanted me to do.

We went on like this for the rest of the day.

After the lads left, we continued working and again, things got tense.  We were doing some pricing for a new customer in the US and I was just generally asking about the cost and how much the shipping is so that I could calculate the profit margin. 

Simon then totally lost it and snapped at me, I snapped back and told him that I was just asking a simple question and that he doesn't need to be rude.  He apologised again, came over and hugged me and kissed me.

We packed up and went home.  I sat in my room for a bit and did some writing and just chilled, Simon played his video games. 

I finished my writing and went into the kitchen and made dinner, chilli.  I love chilli!!!

After dinner we watched TV and soon it grew late.  I stripped off and got ready for bed.  Simon came out of the shower and I saw that he lit the massage candle.

Now, Ragers and Ragettes, the massage candle is a fabulous invention!!  It's a soy based candle.  You light it and the wax doesn't get red hot, it just warms up.  When the wax warms up you can use it as  a massage oil.  It's gentle and doesn't block pores.  Amazing!!!!

I looked at him and he said, I want to treat you to a massage, Betty.  I smiled and rolled on my back and said, my tummy is a bit sore, he smiled and poured the candle wax on my tummy and started to massage...he made his way up my body and soon his strong hands were cupping my breasts.  He then started to kiss my neck and I then decided to tease him.  I rolled on my tummy and said, do my back.

He smiled, put more of the wax in his hands and he rubbed my back.  It felt like heaven!!!  His hands made their way down my back and onto my bare bum.  He massaged my bum and then his hands wondered to in between my legs.  I felt electricty up my spine. 

I turned over on my back and he put his head between my thighs....

I don't want to go into too much detail but daaaaaaaaammmnnnn!!!  I came and I came good and hard...all over him.  I was shaking in pure pleasure.  My body felt warm.  I hadn't experienced an orgasm like that in ages.  He knew where to touch and what pressure was needed.  My legs were like jelly.  He then got on top and soon finished off in a sweaty, hot wave of passion.  After he came, he rested his head in between my breasts and kissed my chest softly.  My body was still sensitive so I jumped a bit.  He gave me his naughty school boy smile and lightly kissed my lips.

I like to think that work was the foreplay.  Sometimes you need that tension, those arguments.  They make the bedroom more interesting and fun. And make up sex is amazing!! 

So now I look at my work day as a precursor to the night.  I might pick some more arguments because after last night?  It's worth it!!!

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, stay foxy, stay sexy and stay fabulous!!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxx

Tuesday 26 August 2014

On Who’s Wrong With You Today



Morning Ragers and Ragettes!  I hope that you have all had a lovely weekend!  The long weekend was lovely but it could have been longer.

Summer has left us definitely and fall is here.  So today I am rocking some boot cut jeans, a black camisole with a silk kimono top and a pair of cowboy boots.  I am loving the bootcut jeans and cowboy boots look.  Laid back but nice.  Plus my cowboy boots are amazing.  They are so comfortable!  Every girl should have a pair.

Today I have to admit I am not in a good mood at all.  I am cranky, tired and very irritated.  When I got into work and saw that Simon’s parents have brought the dogs...I was fuming for some strange reason.  So I have pretty much kept my mouth shut and kept my head down. 

So I started to think why am I in such a snit?  I mean, I am really irritable.  It’s not that time of the month, I am eating healthily and I have most things that I want in life so why do I have a case of the crap-mcnasties?

A wise woman once said that most of the time we ask the question of “what is wrong” but we should actually be asking the question of “who is wrong”.  As in, who is pissing you off?  I started to think and a few things popped up.

Firstly, Suzanne.  No, I am not angry with her.  In fact the opposite.  Today is a hard day for her and I am stuck here in St Helens instead of being with her and trying to make her feel better.  If I were with her I would take her out shopping, go out for a nice lunch and do things like that.  It sucks because I can’t properly be there for her.  Sigh.

Secondly, Simple Guy.  I wrote a blog about my online dating adventures and I briefly was seeing a guy called “Simple Guy”.  After I broke it off, I deleted him from Facebook and my phone and everything.  Well, against my better judgement, he made a new profile and I friended him again.  He started to pester me for my phone number even though I told him that I was in a relationship.  Finally it hit him that I was in a relationship. 

Anywho, a few days ago I received a message from him.  Keeping in mind that he is simple, he asked me if I was ok and I said I was.  I asked him if he was ok, and how things were going.  He told me that he got a promotion in work and was now on £16,500 a year...this was supposed to impress me how?  I earn twice that!!! 

I said back, oh well done.  Then he said that he was seeing a Polish girl.

I said I hope that you are happy.  That’s great!

Then he said it....She’s a stunner.

I don’t know why, but ever since, that has grated on me.  I can’t stop thinking about that. 

Let’s get something straight.  I in no way fancy this guy.  He wasn’t good looking, he had a creepy smile and he had the personality of a squid.  

But to hear him say that he has a new girl and that she is a stunner?  

So I started going a bit loopy.  I started to go through his friend list on Facebook.  No Polish bird on there.   No tagging in Facebook posts, no mention of being with a woman.  I sense some bullshit here.  I knew that this was bullshit.

But why was I still seething?  What’s wrong with me?  And I have been seething ever since.  It’s really wound me up good and proper!!  I need to somehow let this go but how?  How do you let this go? 

I also find that I am letting customers at work get to me.  I wake up sometimes in the middle of the night and I can still have echoes of emails and conversations in my head.  I am seriously having problems of letting it go. 

So with the information above I know why I am in such a snit.  So I need to work on getting myself out of this. 

I brought my notebook with me today.  This notebook is a lovely flowery notebook and in it I write down my blessings.  I try to do this every day so that whenever life gets tough or unbearable it keeps me grounded. 

I always write down my gratitude for my family, for Suzanne and for Simon.  I am blessed.  I have so much and yet I find myself dwelling on the shit.  I think that it is a habit sometimes.  We like to whine, bitch and complain.  Sometimes I don’t think that we see what is going on around us.  It makes me sad.   Especially what Suzanne is going through.  One of the lessons that she taught me is to not let the petty things grind you down, there is more to life than those sorts of people.  She calls them gnats' asses. 

So I need to brush off the gnats asses and focus on what is good.  My job, my boyfriend, Suzanne and my friends, my family, my diet is going great, the list goes on.

So in closing,  I know that I need to make peace with those that are bringing me down spiritually so that I can continue to be the best that I can be.

So Ragers and Ragettes, take a step back, a deep breath and be thankful for what you have and don’t let the gnats' asses grind you down.

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Saturday 23 August 2014

On a Great Start to a Long Weekend

Hey Ragers and Ragettes!  Here I am at my little writing station in the New Rage Towers.  Simon is in the front room happily playing his PS3 and I am watching the Everton v Arsenal match on my iPad and doing what I love doing best.  Writing my blog!!!

Today has been a fab day that started out a bit strange.  I didn't sleep well because I knew that was going to have a hard session with Brad in the morning.  And boy I was right!!  I mean, he pushed my body to the limit!  I had to do this circuit that was so difficult and he added an exercise that I saw in the show "The Biggest Loser".  I stood in a squat position and in my hands I held 2 handles for the biggest rope that I have ever seen.  The exercise was to from my squat position, raise my arms with the rope handles and get the rope to slam on the floor.  Erm......hard!!!!  My arms are destroyed!!   And I mean properly destroyed!!!  I could barely lift it!  I wasn't slamming the rope I was lifting it about 2 inches off the ground and placing it back.  On TV it looks easier!  In real life...uhh....no!!!

On my way home I thought that I would treat my darling Simon with a coffee from Starbucks as he is totally addicted.  So I drove to the drive through (I was looking rough, I couldn't go in looking like a Sweaty Betty!  Hell no!) placed my order, went to pay and.....I forgot my wallet at home!  D'oh!

I pulled up to the drive through window and sheepishly told them what happened.  They were understanding so I sped home, ran in, Simon was up and in his underwear.  He had a look of pure nerves on his face. Betty is everything ok?  He asked.

Yes I said, forgot my wallet!!  I grabbed my wallet and sprinted back to my car and back to the Starbucks.  I picked up his coffee and bought him a sausage bun and made my way back.

I got in and Simon said, Betty is everything ok?  I said yes, my darling.  I wanted to buy you lunch but forgot my wallet!

He laughed and said thank fuck!  I thought that you were angry at me.  I hugged him and kissed him.  He looked lovely.  He usually gels his hair but his hair was natural.  He looks fit without his glasses and with his hair natural.  Sigh.

He ate his breakfast and drank his coffee.  I made myself porridge.  I was excited because I was meeting the gorgeous Suzanne and her fabulous husband, Rick, for lunch.

Hard decision.  What do I wear?  I considered this quandary as I cleaned my dishes and got into the shower.

I decided on my skinny jeans, a high necked purple, pink, black and red halter top with my velour jacket.  I plaited my fringe and put a big purple rose in my hair.  I wore my cobalt blue retro Adidas running shoes (I didn't know if a lot of walking was going to be involved, I would have worn my black platform wedges.) and did purple eye shadow and natural lips.

Simon dropped me off in town and I saw Suzanne waiting for me.  I broke into a sprint and when I got to her I gave her the biggest hug I could.  It felt great to see her again.  She was looking gorgeous.  She was rocking black trousers, a coral/light orange top with a draped neckline and an on trend fuzzy cardigan.  She always gets it right!  I was so happy to see her again. She looked at me and said, girl, you are losing weight!!  I felt so happy that she noticed!!  Suzanne was looking slimmer on her waist.  Her waist is going in and she is getting her shape back.  I am so proud of her that she is taking care of herself. Rick was in the e-cigarette shop getting some more liquid for his e-cigarette.

When he came out of the shop I gave him a big hug and we walked to a Chinese Buffet restaurant.

We got to our table and piled our plates full of food and the conversation flowed.  We discussed the old job and as I was talking to both of them I realised how lucky I was to be where I am now.

Yes, my job can be stressful, I can't switch off and I will most likely plug my work laptop in and work but compared to what I was doing before and where I was before...yes, I am in a better place!!!  We giggled and have a great conversation and it was like old times.

We talked about mutual friends and how both are not happy where they are. That makes me unhappy.  I want to get us settled at work and get Suzanne to work for us.  Suzanne is so talented and well rounded she can pretty much go anywhere and do whatever you tell her to and do it well.  As we are expanding, I am confident that we will get her on board.

We were chatting away and Rick looked at his watch.  We are going to have to go.  My heart sank.  It wasn't enough time.  I put on a brave face but inside my heart sunk.  I had my soul sister back but for not long enough.

Rick paid the bill (while I protested...next time, it's on me!!) and we left the restaurant.  Rick went to look at a few things and Suzanne waited with me.  When Simon pulled up, I hugged her close and held back tears.

I got in the car smiled and waved.  As we pulled away, I burst into tears.  Simon took me to the pub and we sat together and discussed work.  I was a bit distracted.  I can't see Suzanne for just 2 hours. I need more time with her.  So I want to schedule a day that we both go into Liverpool for the day for shopping, lunch and a good girlie day.  (It still wouldn't be enough!!)

So here I am in my writing space watching the end of the match (Arsenal equalised???  Tasty!!) feeling a strange feeling of contentment, sadness, joy and determination.  Things are settling for me and as September is fast approaching (for some reason I have always found September to be a month that signals a new beginning for me....strange) and I feel ready with anticipation of the good times that are ahead.

So on that note I am going to go and cuddle Simon, make some dinner and enjoy the rest of this Saturday night.

Take care, Ragers and Ragettes!!!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxx

Friday 22 August 2014

On Being One of the Lads



Hey Ragers and Ragettes!!!  Happy Friday!!!  I defo have the Friday feeling as it is a bank holiday weekend and I can have 3 blissful days off!  So I am rocking a pair of boot cut jeans, my white diamante skull vest, a black velour blazer and my cowboy boots.  And of course my red lippy!  Fab!

Today the warehouse lads said, where’s your dress?  And cowboy boots?  Where are your heels?  Sometimes it’s nice to dress down and relax.  Plus after reading my girl crush Elena’s blog, The Words of a Goddess, she once blogged about being one of the lads.  So here is my take on that subject.

At work I am very much one of the lads.  We tell obscene jokes, swear, mouth off and just joke around.  Work does get done.  They don’t treat me like a girl most of the time but every once and awhile they do.

For example we were clearing space in the warehouse and I started picking up boxes to clear space and Simon’s dad said, Betty, don’t pick up those heavy boxes, let me get it. 

Now I have been going to the gym and I have bigger bicep muscles than Simon does!  And I can lift and leg press more than most men can.  (I’m not some muscle bound bitch, don’t get me wrong but I am more than capable in lifting heavy boxes!!)

I gave him a look that said, bitch please!  Don’t underestimate me!  Men sometimes don’t realise how strong us women actually are.  We are not all delicate flowers and damsels in distress....but saying that, it is sexy being a damsel in distress and being “rescued”....That is pretty hot....

I like being one of the lads though.  There is no bitchiness, back stabbing, and they tend to tell it to you straight and I like that.  I know that if I go to Keith and ask him a question he will be honest and give me a straight answer.  No sugar coating it or making up shit.  He will tell me straight to my face what he thinks.  That’s so refreshing!!! 

I trust the lads 100%.  No funny business goes on, we have a laugh and I enjoy having them in my life. 

But saying that, there are some aspects of working with women that  I miss.  Like when you work with girls, you can talk fashion, get ideas on outfits and discuss important stuff.  Like how buckles on boots are quite in style this season for autumn and winter and denim shorts over tights....wrong or ok?  (Personally, that is one style I hate with a vengeance!!!  And trilbies.  I fucking hate trilbies!!!)   And getting ideas about different styles.  And there is no one to appreciate my well thought out daily looks, when I get a new haircut, change my makeup, or when I wear my cowboy boots!   It’s frustrating!!!!!  Sigh.

I wish that, sometimes, women could be more like men.  Why are we seriously so bitchy?  It’s hard enough being a woman this day and age, why make it worse for each other by gossiping, backstabbing and bitching?  Why can’t us women have it out when we are angry at each other instead of spreading hurtful rumours or freezing out people with silence?  Why the Queen Bee syndrome?

I have worked in offices that were predominately woman and it was hell!!!  I am very much a call it as I see it sort of girl that makes me very unpopular in an office environment.  Because I put my all into my work, worked hard and took the sexiest remarks from men on the chin and proved that I have bigger balls than them, I always faired better chatting with men.  Discussing football (now that footie season is back on I have no one to discuss it with because my work lads don’t like football!  Bummer!!!), going out and drinking beer instead of my precious wine, making crude jokes, laughing and not giving a shit.  The amount of times I got laid playing the ladette card....Christ!!! 

I think that I have swung over to the masculine side when it comes to feelings and shit like that because I have had to.  Being away from home, it was the only way that I could survive.  It was the only way I stopped myself from crying myself to sleep.  Manning up has left me cold and hard hearted in some ways.  But how else could I protect myself? 

But I have to admit recently I have missed contact with females.  I get my fix by messaging Suzanne my outfit choice, chat to her about important issues, like what colours I can wear with my red hair, dietary tips, and other important issues.   I am loving my new life but I am missing that girlie connection too.

But this coming bank holiday weekend I get to see the gorgeous Suzanne!!!  I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so happy!!!  I miss that girl so much!!!!  I will probably burst into tears when I see her!  I have so much to say and I miss giving her a cuddle.  It will just be great to see her again. 

So being one of the lads is a fab thing but sometimes it’s great being one of the girls too.  It’s finding a balance I suppose.

So I will carry on laughing with my dysfunctional work family, messaging Suzanne for fashion and trying to find someone to speak to about the new football season. 

So Ragers and Ragettes, have a great weekend and if you can’t be good, be good at it!!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxx

Wednesday 20 August 2014

On the End of Summer



Hi Ragers and Ragettes!!  I am sorry for the delay in writing posts as I have been absolutely been mad, bonkers, shit crazy!  Each time I go to write, a phone rings, I get called over or there is a crisis.  I just want to write!!!  So come hell or high water I will finish this post!!!

It’s getting cooler so I have had to make a shift in my wardrobe.   So I am wearing a vintage purple, fuchsia, violet, grey and black wrap around dress with 3 quarter sleeves, black tights and black Mary Janes.  I need new shoes because my well loved Mary Jane’s have been loved to death and are starting to fall apart!  Oh no!!!  An excuse to buy shoes!!!  I need new boots too.

I am a bit down that summer is over.  Summer has always been a magical time.  It’s like your life takes a vacation on an idyllic destination.  For me, there has always been a haze of love, adventure and good times. 

Last summer I was working a temporary job and I first met my “comfort friend” (who I still speak to).  I was happy, unsure but I just went along with the roller coaster that he put me on.  Many nights a week I would have to drop him off at his flat in the morning before work and I didn’t mind that.  He’d always cook for me and always satisfy me after.  Those were lovely carefree days.  Last summer I enjoyed his company and him.  Even though I am with Simon, I still have a soft spot for him. 

A close male friend of mine once said to me, if you make a certain noise during sex, especially during orgasm, the guy owns you.  He’s totally right!!!  Since my comfort friend, no man has made me make that noise...you know what noise I am talking about, ladies?  When you are on the verge of climax and you are floating in that area of bliss and you feel the pressure building up.  Your stomach feels funny, your legs are tense and you know that at any point you are going to explode.  That noise. 

I think that is why I still think about him.  He is not attractive at all but he knows what he is doing.  He knew my body like the back of his hand.  I would gladly let him use me, satisfy me, then let him climax.  I would relish the after glow.  Resting my head on his chest, his fingers tickling my back laughing at his stories of debauchery and adventures of being a DJ in a big city.

Simon has made me cum but I have never made that noise with him.  I give it time.  I still have a lot to teach him...

I look back on last summer fondly.   Last summer I was taught not to give a shit.  And I have kept that with me.

This summer, what lessons have I learned? 

Firstly, I have learned that summer love is a great thing.  Simon and I are happy as a couple.  He’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me.  I enjoy all the silly things he does.  Is our relationship perfect?  Not a chance!!  But our love is real and to me, although my comfort friend provided physical, sexual stimulation, he couldn’t provide me commitment, love, peace and stability that I craved.  But he provided laughs, sex, kisses, good movies and good food.

Secondly, I have learned that you need to be careful who you trust.  Like with Dan. 

Sigh.  In a strange sort of Stockholm Syndrome way I really miss him.  I miss watching the football with him, having a drinking session on the quays, I miss how he’d tell me stupid stories to make me laugh.  I miss his accent.  But I know that looking back at it all, it was a destructive relationship.  It was flawed.  He emotionally and verbally abused me.  Emotionally blackmailed me.  He head fucked me good and proper.  It’s scary what he did to me.  And I let him do that.  That’s what unsettles me the most.

Thirdly, I have learned that change is good.  I changed my hair colour (reminder to book in again for a top up next month) and I also last weekend got a fabulous new tattoo!!

I have wanted this tattoo for ages and I mean ages!!!  So last weekend Simon and I went to Blackpool to visit a friend of a friend of mine to get it done.  The tattoo is an elegant, watercolour poppy design on my shoulder/arm/back.  It’s lovely.  I wasn’t sure about it at first but this is stunning.  It’s healing nicely too.  It’s a big change for me because all of my tattoos (I have 15) have been discreet.  This is not discreet.  But I love it.  I want to add more to it and it is open to. 

The fourth thing I have learned is that when you have a best friend like Suzanne hold onto them.  Being away from her hurts my heart.  This morning I messaged her with a fashion question about my hair and like always she answered with the best advice.  (Ladies, when you change your hair colour drastically, you need to rethink not only your make up but your clothing.  Certain colours look off with certain hair shades.  I have to be careful with the shades of red that I am wearing.  I am going to start going for wearing lilacs, not purples, as Suzanne advised and she is totally right, turquoise and other jewel tones.  Half of me wants to start wearing a bright yellow but that terrifies me.)  Sigh.  I miss her whole heartedly.  I miss her smile, her accent, her beautiful eyes, her words of wisdom, her hugs, our jokes, our serious times...everything.  Suzanne is a massive part of my life.  And I feel like my right arm has been ripped off.  This coming weekend is a bank holiday weekend so I hope and pray to see her.  I miss her and I need to tell her that.

But, along with those lessons I have learned to not be too uptight and anal about things.  That it’s good to go forward but on certain things it is best to stick to what you know. 

My weight loss journey for example.  I am over thinking it.  I am losing weight but I don’t feel happy.  I am using an app called “My Fitness Pal” and wearing a Fit Bit band.  And you know what, Ragers and Ragettes?  It’s driving me bonkers!!!!  Last night I was reading my diary from the time I successfully lost weight 2 years ago.  I made it so simple and I mean really simple.  I just took a notebook and wrote my feelings and my food down.  So I am going back to that.  Those apps are making me paranoid and I am starting to have the compulsion to skip meals.  So I am going to be going back to what I know.  The exercises I did before and with Brad’s sessions I will be ok.  I will reach my goal.

The final lesson I learned?  I need to make time for things that I enjoy doing.  I love writing this blog about my crazy life.  I have so many ideas and things to say I need to start listing them!  I appreciate all of you for taking time out to read, laugh and learn from my stupidity and experiences.  So I have decided that in the evening, I am going to have strictly me time.  Take my hour for myself back.  Simon has his PS3 time and I want my blogging time!!!  I might not be able to write every day but I want to write at least 3 – 4 times a week so that is what I intend on doing. 

So Ragers and Ragettes!!  I am just about to go into a meeting with an international courier that needs to have its ass kicked as they are billing us wrong.  Hair?  Voluminous (thank you dry shampoo!!).  Eyes?  Mascara on and long.  Red lippy?  On.  Let’s kick some logistical ass!!!

Until next time, Ragers and Ragettes, stay fabulous!

Lots of Love

The Fabulous Betty Rage xxxxxxxxxxxx